An Open Letter To The Socially Inept
I don’t believe homosexuals are ruining America, I even have my doubts that right wing supposed Christians are ruining America. No, I believe I know who is ruining America. You, that’s who is ruining America. You know who you are, you are the people who don’t acknowledge when someone holds a door open for you, the ones who knock things off a shelf in a grocery store and leave it for someone else to pick up, you are the socially inept and here is an open letter to the socially inept – Don’t Get Me Started!
Dear Socially Inept,
I don’t know how the wolves managed to raise you but God bless them, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, they had no idea what they were doing. I’ve overlooked the fact that you chew with your mouth open due to your so-called upbringing and a host of other things but the time has come for you to realize that you are living in a place some of us like to call, “civilization” and there are a few common, let’s just call them courtesies that you should try to adhere to so that we can all get along, well, civilly.
When someone you don’t know but who is passing you on the street nods their head in your direction, they are not trying to kill you or sleep with you (necessarily) so the thing to do is simply nod back and go about your business. You don’t have to stop and chat, you don’t have to shake anyone’s hand, you just have to acknowledge that another person sharing the planet with you is acknowledging your presence, you moron. (Oops, that just slipped out)
If you are done with a Big Gulp or any other variety of beverage that comes in a container and you finish the beverage inside, quenching your thirst and adding those empty calories into your body for which you think watching The Biggest Loser will somehow drop off your body, when you have finished with it there are these things called, “garbage cans” for where you can deposit these used containers. The cup, bottle or carton does not belong in a parking lot next to where you had your car parked, they do not belong next to the garbage can because you missed the “three-pointer” you were trying to achieve in the thoughts that you are the Magic Johnson of the litter world, so do us all a favor and walk up to a garbage can (they’re located all over folks) and place the used container IN the garbage can.
Finally, there are these things in your car called, “turn indicators” when you depress the handle they make lights flash on the back of your vehicle to let the people behind you know if you’re going to the left or the right anytime soon so that they may drive accordingly. If you don’t use these at all, please begin to do so. If you are one of the people who only activate these “turn signals” after you’re all ready in the lane you’ve just moved into, it’s too late. I can’t use your turn signal once you’ve actually moved into the turn lane or have come careening in front of me causing me to have to slam my foot on the brakes in an effort to not shove my Mini Cooper and myself up your ass. Believe it or not, in most cases there are other people driving on the road too, that’s right, you are not the only one on the road and if you think I’m lying to you, try looking in that thing called a “rear view mirror” every once in awhile.
I know all of the above are foreign to you due to your upbringing or the fact that you hit your head on the toilet the last time you were throwing up from a night of Jello shots and greasy breakfast food at three in the morning but this is what the rest of us in this race called, “human” find to be common courtesies. They are the little things that make us believe that the world is going to keep on spinning and that we’re all going to find a way to get along with one another eventually. It’s not too much to ask for, just a little too much for you to give at the moment because you’re a moron, socially inept but the rest of us have hope for you asshole (and I mean that in the nicest way). An open letter to the socially inept – Don’t Get Me Started!
Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com
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