Behind the scenes at The White House. At home with The President of The United States.

Visit The President at home here.

Contents.

Nighttime at The White House.


President Barack Obama goes for a walk.


President Barack Obama and President Abraham Lincoln.


Night time at The White House.

It is past midnight in The White House. In the corridors that Abraham Lincoln once walked the secret servicemen dozed. In the twenty four hour security room the Head of Presidential Security surveyed the bank of cameras that covered one whole wall of the room at the top of the presidential mansion. Every room was covered by at least two cameras. The only part of the huge house that was not intruded in was the interior of the First Family’s private apartment. There was CCTV focused on the door. But it was considered that the privacy of Barack Obama, his fragrant wife Michelle and their two delightful children was more important than considerations of security so the cameras stayed outside the door. This was a night like all the rest. Quiet and peaceful. You might think that The White House is a hive of activity all round the clock. You probably imagine that The President and his top aides are busy all the time, making phone calls and holding meetings, to keep on top of various pressing issues, like the war in Afghanistan, the state of the American economy, peace in the middle east etc. But you would be wrong. Even really important matters, like how to get “the main man” another four years in the big house in Pennsylvania Avenue, have to be forgotten about for a good eight hours every night. Barack Obama, just like the rest of us, has to sleep. Even the snoring of his fragrant wife Michelle, that woke The Queen of England in her own palace

http://christopheranton.hubpages.com/hub/Assassination-of-President-Barack-Obama-foiled-Deadly-plot-in-London-Killer-in-The-Palace

doesn’t usually disturb the chief executive slumbers. Put simply, the home of the American President is just like any other house in the land. At night time the residents go to sleep, except for the secret servicemen, who doze, and the Head of Presidential Security who sits in his big room at the top of the house and monitors his cameras.

President Barack Obama goes for a walk.

This night was to be different. The Head of Presidential Security growled to himself when he saw the various secret servicemen settling down in their corner to sleep. “They should all be sacked” he thought. Of course they could not really be blamed for wanting to take a nap. The security was so good on the outside of the house that there was a zero possibility of anyone ever penetrating to the inside of the mansion, so a posting to the interior usually meant a passport to a night sleeping in the corner. Nice work, if you can get it. He surveyed the bank of cameras. His eye was drawn to the screen that showed the door to The Presidential Quarters. Something was not quite right. The handle of the door was turning. This was very unusual. None of the Obama family ever emerged from their apartment once they had retired. But this time one of them was doing so.

The door opened and the easily recognised face of The President of The United States looked out. He appeared to sniff the air in the corridor. There was a most enormous grin pasted all over the visage of the chief executive of the most powerful state on Earth. The head of security almost fell over when he saw what happened next. Barack Obama emerged completely from the doorway. He was naked apart from a pair of “Old Glory” boxers. He was walking on all fours. There was an enormous striped furry tail snaking its way out of a hole that was strategically placed in the back of the executive underpants. If you want an explanation for this strange sight, that almost made the watching security expert choke on his coffee, read

http://christopheranton.hubpages.com/hub/Who-really-is-Barack-Obama

It tells how Barack Obama came to be one quarter cat. It settles all the debate about his ancestry.

The Head of Presidential Security could hardly credit what his eyes were telling him. The President of The United States was behaving like a gigantic cat. The tail made him look like one too. What was he to do? He had taken delivery of out- size cigars for Bill Clinton. The batteries, that were used to give life to the robot that was George W Bush, even passed through his hands. But this was different. He could scarcely be expected to confront his boss and tell him to tuck his tail in. It was more than his job was worth. The best thing to do was to just sit where he was and watch the presidential progress on the cameras. So that is exactly what he did.

The Cat/President put his tail straight up in the air and reversed to within one foot of the door he had just emerged from. A jet of liquid was propelled from just beneath his swaying appendage, to drip down the doorpost and soak into the White House carpet. The President was marking his territory. The cleaners were going to have a job in the morning. Barack Obama sauntered away from the messy doorway and bounded up the stairs.

President Barack Obama and President Abraham Lincoln.

In the corridor on the first floor there is a room called “The Abraham Lincoln” bedroom. This is said to be the very room that was occupied by the great liberator of the slaves. Often times the ghost of President Lincoln has been seen coming out of the door of his bedroom. People who monitor the cameras in that part of the house have seen his ghostly presence walking that particular corridor. This night was one in which he decided to go for a stroll. The Head of Presidential Security was watching everything that happened on the CCTV. When the felinely enhanced Barack reached the top of the stairs he was confronted by the shade of his distinguished predecessor. He jumped back and in a tangle of “Old Glory” underpants, crushed grin and wildly trashing stripy tail, he fell back down the carpeted stairs. A puzzled look spread across the face of the ghost. Then he just shook his head and disappeared.

At the foot of the stairs The President/Cat got up and shook himself. He seemed to have not come to any harm from his tumble. There was some dust and carpet fluff on his body, and some on his tail. The “Old Glory” underpants were looking a bit skewed also. In full view of the watching security chief he adjusted his nether garment. The watcher was then treated to the sight of The President of The United States licking himself all over until not a trace of dust or carpet fluff remained. He tried to scratch an itchy bit behind his ear, using his right leg, but the still human limb was not as flexible as a truly feline one, so he had to settle for using his hand instead.


What happens next? Has the President got fleas?


To find out read my latest e-book The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama.


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You can also buy it from many other online retailers. Priced at less than the cost of a packet of cigarettes.


The truth is in here

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Comments 26 comments

Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

Christopher!!! If I didn't know how much you love cats!. . . .


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Hi Nellieanna.

Cats are great really. Are they not? Thanks for reading.


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 4 years ago from Serbia

Unfortunately, I am too tired to read it now... However, I will be back tomorrow to read this, and leave a few votes and a comment - sounds interesting enough, right? :)


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Hi Nemanja.

You should be tired. It must be around Three AM where you are. Have a good sleep my friend. I look forward to reading your comments tomorrow.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

The 'fragrant Michelle,' christopher? You naughty boy! I know you live an ocean away, but watch your back, my friend. One never know.


Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

Wesman Todd Shaw 4 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

MORE!!!!!!!!!!

I'm thinking William S.Borroughs would be pleased with this secret history of the current POTUS!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

Of course they are. You're entirely welcome.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Hi drbj.

"Fragrant" is a compliment. Nobody can object to that. But you are right. I am a "naughty boy". Life is more fun that way.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

I had a feeling you might have liked this one Wesman.

I remember reading some of William S Boroughs books years ago.

I can't remember much about them, but they may be floating about in my subconcious and influencing me still.

Maybe I should revisit his books.


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 4 years ago from Serbia

I must admit I haven't still read your hub that explains the connection between Obama and our feline friends, but I will do it soon, as I had a great laugh at this one :)

Your description of the President behaving like a cat is priceless, and I can't wait to see how and why this is so, Chris!


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Thanks Nemanja.

This one is part of a series. I think the links to the others are on the one you are going to read next. I am hoping to combine them all into a book and then try to get it published on time for the American election this year.


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 4 years ago from Serbia

I would love to see you publish a book on this, Chris :) It would be very interesting to see how and whether people would accept it.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Do you know the saying "watch this space"?

I hope.


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 4 years ago from Serbia

Hi, Chris. No, I didn't know the saying, but I looked it up. I can't wait to see what happens if you succeed in your plan. Fingers crossed :)


phion profile image

phion 4 years ago

WOOOOW! Good luck with the book, but don't quit your day job. You are a good story teller, but you may want to change your mind on topic. You paint a great picture of a family that fits into what most of us think family to be. I think of what I as a man hope to provide for my family, among those things...security, trust, hope, and love. There are so many things that come to mind when I think of how our president has, or could have left myself and his family lacking those things I would want to give my children.

Granted the obama children probably will never have to worry about going "without" or security, but when he sends his 13 year old daughter to within 1/2 mile of a place in Mexico our own government says is not safe for Americans to travel, with a dozen of her friends, and family... With a 25 man SS detail...all I can think is WTF? I guess when you don't pay for anything yourself you get dethatched from reality!

cost--$89,500

Americans without a clue-well over 3/4 of U.S. population

Americans still waiting on a "change"-- all of us

Would you let you daughter go to mexico where you know that there are a dozen Queda operatives with hundreds of men at their disposal, and would love to grab your daughter to use as a bargaining chip?

This is a better picture to paint of the man you choose to admire.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Hi phion.

I totally agree with you regarding the extravagance of Barack Obama. Using Airforce one to go on a jaunt to a basketball game is another recent example.

I don't understand how you think I admire him. I was trying to take the piss out of the idiot. Haven't you heard of satire?


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

Hi, Christopher, this reminded me of a strange take on Alice in Wonderland! haha! how do you think of it? brilliant!


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Hi Nell.

That must be because you are remembering that Barack Obama is the grandson of the Cheshire Cat. I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks for reading.


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 4 years ago from California

You have given my a smile and a new perspective on Mr. President. Kudos


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Thanks for reading tirelesstraveler.

I'm glad I made you smile. At least now, you know the truth.


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

Luckily for security, the president is not overly concerned about the misuse of funds.

Cats have nine lives. You will be seeing more of this federal feline.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

WD Curry 111 thanks for reading. The bill for pet food for the presidential household must be prohibitive however. I hope the American taxpayer isn't paying it.


frogyfish profile image

frogyfish 4 years ago from Central United States of America

Awww, kitty, kitty...I got a surprising laugh, and the video made me dance in my chair. Have you got a way with words and ideas!! :-)


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Hi frogyfish.

I'm glad you enjoyed that one. You need to read the book to find out the rest of the story. It would definitely make you laugh.


John Sarkis profile image

John Sarkis 4 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

Hi Chris,

Hope you're doing well...

Funny and original...I heard Obama had salmon instead of turkey for Thanksgiving ;-) Nicely done...voted up!

John


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Hi John. I saw him pardoning the turkey on Television. Perhaps the turkeys should be pardoning him.

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