Bernie Thinks You're a Moron

How silly are you?
How silly are you? | Source

Buddy, Can You Spare a Neuron?

To the right, on my screen at least, you may see a list of campaign promises attributed to Bernie Sanders. I use 'promise' the same way McDonald's uses the word 'nutritious.'

Observe that the Internet is full of stuff and this is certainly some of it. Bernie wants you to have the world. He understands his campaign gravy train trundles as long as he gets photographed flying Coach Class and he convinces sufficient ostensibly sentient humans of voting age that more free stuff is just over the horizon.

Did you know an oven is hot? Are you aware that stepping in front of a moving train will generally kill you? Yes, some salient points are obvious. Sadly, American voters, while able to differentiate between a hamster and a hole in the ground, insist upon hitching their wagon to specious promises completely impossible to fulfill. Perhaps it's fun. Maybe they simply crave a distraction from Dancing With The Stars. One wonders if Wheel Of Fortune has taken to using too many big words.

Bernie's false comparisons.
Bernie's false comparisons.

Bernie Wants You to Hate

Bernie works hard to inspire lust, avarice, and envy. He's pretty good at it. Oodles of unwashed masses fall for his false comparisons. He convinces Americans the devil is in the gated community counting piles of gold. Vote for him: he will wrest bank accounts from the Evil Rich and redistribute what rightfully belongs to those who deign to lay on the couch.

There is no relationship between corporate profits and childhood poverty, but somehow Bernie campaigns on it. There is a relationship between hard work and income, but Bernie won't make you feel bad about that. Follow him and nothing is your fault. He knows you want to hear that.

Universal Health Care

We can't provide it for our cherished Veterans now. How will we do it for everyone? Some vets wait months for their EKG results to be read. Some vets are scheduled to see a specialist in a year. Both major parties agree the system is a wreck, at least when campaigning to veterans.

And Bernie wants to give this to you and your family. But not to his family: federal employees are exempt from the ACA because they can. Bernie voted for the ACA, BTW.

The Real Bernie, and just as electable
The Real Bernie, and just as electable

Free / Affordable Public College

College is already affordable. A community college can be accessed for less than $3000 per semester: that ciphers out to less than $12K for a 2-year degree. Working 40 hours a week, for 50 weeks a year, for 2 years, would require 3 dollars an hour in earnings to cover that nut. Even Bernie pays his interns that much.

Want to pay less? Stay in high school, take AP classes, and earn AP credit for courses required in college. Apply for scholarships.

Transform Our Energy System

Transform it to what? Will you let the unemployed coal miners sleep on your couch? Will you let Bernie stack solar collectors in your back yard? May he poke a windmill through your driveway?

Overturn Citizens United

Citizens United approves of government transparency. Bernie must be offended by that. Quoting their web site:

"Citizens United's goal is to restore the founding fathers' vision of a free nation, guided by the honesty, common sense, and good will of its citizens."

Bernie promises to overturn that.

Anyway, Citizen's United is a Constitutionally-protected avenue of free speech just like Planned Parenthood, ACORN, and MoveOn.org. Bernie won't come after them, will he?

Raise the Minimum Wage to $15

Anyone with two neurons to rub together realizes the creepiness of legally mandating exactly $15 to flip burgers. Bernie pulled that number out of his fashionably unkempt ear. Why should burger flippers in San Fransisco earn the same as fry cooks in Grand Rapids? The cost of living in central Michigan is a socialist paradise compared to the Socialists Paradise of California.

Bernie went to a college: he knows what buttons to push.

Rebuild Our Crumbling Infrastructure

Our crumbling infrastructure is constantly being rebuilt. Refer to The Big Dig in Boston, Seattle's Alaskan Way Viaduct, the modernization of Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport, Interstate 75 projects along the the length of Ohio, and numerous other federally-funded projects. Bernie is way behind the curve on this one. Just because it takes you too long to get to work doesn't mean nothing is being rebuilt.

Even Republicans want to build stuff.

Bernie points at your heartstrings.
Bernie points at your heartstrings.

Raise Taxes on the 1%

Here's where carnival-barker Bernie calls in the suckers. The "1%" already pays 36% of all income tax collected by the beloved IRS. Apparently that's not enough.

Let's agree that the top 1% should pay 100% of their income in taxes. If you hate The Rich as much as you love Bernie, that sounds like fiscally responsible music to your ears, yeah? Let's take everything they earn. According to TaxFoundation.org those folks rake in about 1.325 trillion annually after paying state and local taxes. The federal government spends about 3.6 trillion every 12 months.

Public school arithmetic indicates that confiscating everything earned by The Rich will run the government for about 3 months. What will we do from April to December, burn War Bonds to keep warm? Who will we levy next?

End Police Brutality

With the stroke of a pen, Bernie will end police brutality. He will sit by the glow of his burning War Bonds, writing his new law. He will shepherd it through Congress (or bypass Congress altogether as BHO does), and present us with an Enlightened Thin Blue Line. If that fails, he will blame Republicans and raise taxes.

Demilitarize the Police

... except his Secret Service Detail. And Hillary's.

Bernie Honeymooned in Yaroslavl, USSR.

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Comments 23 comments

GNelson profile image

GNelson 10 months ago from Florida

You are not looking at the facts. Look up what has happened to us since 1980 when a lot of your points were created. We have gone down hill. The very wealthy have gone up hill. Don't listen to sound bites, look up the facts.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 10 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@GNelson : the facts are that we have not gone 'down hill' since 1980. We have :

The Internet,

cancer treatments,

self-driving cars,

a black president,

a black female secretary of state,

dramatically decreased vehicle emissions through computer control,

solar power,

disposable contact lenses,

mapped the human genome (Dr. Craig Venter) ,

Apple Mackintosh,

Hepatitis Vaccine, and

Doppler Radar.

Just to name a few tremendously positive innovations.

I went back and checked -- none of my facts date back before 1980, except the reference to War Bonds. :)


tmbridgeland profile image

tmbridgeland 10 months ago from Small Town, Illinois

Like that pop song says, money or nothing and the chicks for free. That's what Bernie is offering, a stupid person's dream.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 10 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@tmbridgeland Last night at the debate even Bernie and his handlers admitted they weren't being accurate regarding the taxes necessary to fulfill the dream.


GNelson profile image

GNelson 10 months ago from Florida

Look at the growth in our wage gap, Look at the growth of wages compared to the growth of the top 1% wealth, compare our life expectancy to other industrial countries, the odds of an infant dying in the USA is almost 3 times higher than in Japan, upward mobility has declined, we are at the bottom of the list for paid vacation and annual leave, we work more hours than most industrial countries, we rank in the bottom 25% in providing education to our children, we rank 42 out of 43 for protecting our workers, we rank 19 out of 22 for environmental performance, we rank one off the bottom for children living in relative poverty (over 20% of our kids), it goes on and on look it up.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 10 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

" the odds of an infant dying in the USA is almost 3 times higher than in Japan"

No. This is one of the biggest misconceptions ever foisted on US citizens. The definition of 'live birth' is radically different in the US than in Japan. In the US we include preemies that have virtually no chance of survival as live births. There are dramatic variances in the definition of "live birth" throughout the world.

" Look at the growth of wages compared to the growth of the top 1% wealth, "

Again, you're simply jealous. That statistic has nothing to do with your potential for success.

" we are at the bottom of the list for paid vacation and annual leave"

A false comparison. If you want those things, move to a place that legislates them. Sweden is nice this time of year.

" we rank in the bottom 25% in providing education to our children"

No, we don't. We spend more per child on education than almost any country in the world. Parents need to help out and we can't legislate that.

"we rank one off the bottom for children living in relative poverty (over 20% of our kids)"

The federal government defines poverty in a largely political way. 96% of American homes have a TV (Neilsen) , 88% have Internet access (internetworldstats.com), over 1/2 of Americans have a smartphone (Pew Research Center), the US federal government spends an average of $7000 per child annually. (money.cnn.com)

"we rank 19 out of 22 for environmental performance"

Hardly. We install scrubbers on our coal-fired plants, we enforce coal mine safety at the state and federal levels, we subsidize 'clean' energy, we invented emissions standards for vehicles. The EPA 2016 budget is 8.6 billion dollars, and that's just at the Federal level (http://nepis.epa.gov)


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 10 months ago

Dear nicomp,

The raw truth is too hard for America to digest. Way too many of our citizens don't have a clue about our history. Facts are too inconvenient for them.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 10 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@BP: You couldn't be any more correct. There is no history any more. If it isn't on the Daily Show then it didn't happen. If there isn't a Liberal making fun of it on Politically Incorrect then it's irrelevant.


peeples profile image

peeples 10 months ago from South Carolina

While I don't think I will be voting for him, I would like you to consider SOME of his ideas in a different way. I'm not stupid enough to believe ANY candidate will actually follow through with the majority of things they say they'll do. I think however that Bernie stands for some ideas that are important. That doesn't mean government takeover of these things is really the key or that it is even feasible. Here are my thoughts.

Universal health care, no one should die in this country because they can't attain healthcare. There also has to be a better answer to the problem other than Obamacare, which has made it nearly impossible to get a doctor in many areas, or the system we had before Obamacare when so many were unable to afford healthcare.

College, How is someone going to fully commit to full time college and work 40 hours a week? Lets add to that, even if they could, what about those who don't end up going to college until after they have children. Then they would have to work 40 hours, take care of child, and go to school full time. College education lowers dependency on welfare, making a college education a much lower cost for the government that paying for "lifers" on welfare.

Energy, can you really argue that having more solar power is a bad thing? I mean I understand your concern with jobs, but statistics are showing CURRENTLY there are near as many solar jobs as coal jobs, so an increase in solar is not only better for everyone's pocket long run, better for the environment, but also the jobs could transfer over into solar from coal as it expands.

Lastly, minimum wage. I don't think it needs to be $15, but it certainly needs an increase. Burger flippers aren't the only ones making minimum wage. Many CNA's, elderly caregivers, dental assistants, landscapers, retail workers, janitorial positions, and manufacturing positions pay $8 an hour or less in my state. Hell even jobs requiring an education and 5 years experience often pay no more than $9 an hour around here. Craigslist ads filled with a mile long list of requirements then you get to the end and it says they are going to pay you the same thing a high schooler would get paid is obscene. The only way to stop this from happening is to raise the minimum wage so that quality workers in a range of fields can have a standard of living type pay.

So I agree with your concepts that people are foolish to believe half of what Bernie says, I also believe that he has some valid points even if I don't agree with him on how to achieve those points. (sorry this is probably so long) :)


nicomp profile image

nicomp 10 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@peeples:

"College, How is someone going to fully commit to full time college and work 40 hours a week?"

I teach rooms full of them. Many of my students have 2 jobs. Go to college part time if full-time is too much.

" The only way to stop this from happening is to raise the minimum wage so that quality workers in a range of fields can have a standard of living type pay."

If that's true, let's make the minimum wage $40 per hour.

"Energy, can you really argue that having more solar power is a bad thing?"

It's an OK thing if it can pay for itself. Otherwise it's a government giveaway. Solyndra, etc.. Solar will come when solar comes. It's only logical to use up the cheapest form of energy first.

"College education lowers dependency on welfare,"

So does hard work, graduating high school, waiting to have kids, and staying out of trouble. And those things cost society nothing.


peeples profile image

peeples 10 months ago from South Carolina

"If that's true, let's make the minimum wage $40 per hour."

So you are incapable of thinking pay through without going to extremes? What do you have wrong with people being paid what they are worth? Do you support companies paying $8 an hour to people caring for our elderly, people who worked their butts off, went to college, got their CNA just to find out no place near them pays a fair wage?

"So does hard work, graduating high school, waiting to have kids, and staying out of trouble. And those things cost society nothing."

Correct, but since that is an impossible thing since we are humans and all screw up some, why not work to help those who are willing to do better to fix their errors?

My point is we are throwing a ton of money down the drain to help many who refuse to help themselves. Why not shift that money towards helping those who are willing to help themselves? Why not help those people willing to work their butts off in life? Or do you propose all welfare be eliminated? What part of helping through government aid are you FOR?


nicomp profile image

nicomp 10 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

" What do you have wrong with people being paid what they are worth? "

You're contradicting yourself. Any government mandated minimum wage is, by definition, paying people more than they are worth for that job.

"why not work to help those who are willing to do better to fix their errors?"

Straw man argument. No one advocates not helping people at all.

"My point is we are throwing a ton of money down the drain to help many who refuse to help themselves."

Yes indeedy.

"What part of helping through government aid are you FOR?"

The US Constitution is clear on that. Welfare, WIC, food stamps, crop subsidies, health insurance, etc., are not enumerated to the federal government.


peeples profile image

peeples 10 months ago from South Carolina

"Straw man argument. No one advocates not helping people at all. "

It would be a strawman argument MAYBE, if you would converse about what you believe instead of just arguing what you are against. I came here to comment hoping you would have a reasonable conversation on the topics you seem to be against. I see now you have no intention of discussing the topics, only arguing against them. Sorry I wasted our time. Now I know for future reference. Have a great day nicomp!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 10 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Peeples, Thanks for stopping by!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 10 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

I think Bernie represents a perfectly wonderful Grandpa. He's got ideas, energy and is certainly willing to "spoil" them.

It is status quo to have conservatives & their mind set & policies, liberals and theirs, those that go to the extreme side of things with little rhyme or reason....a few fringe groups (libertarians, Tea Party, Green Party).

Presently, I am glued to the info coming in at a rapid pace in terms of the Paris Tragedy and it's corresponding MAJOR CAUSE.

Hilary: "I don't think we're at war with Islam."...(No, of course we're not, Hilary...we're at war against Barnum & Bailey)......fucking Moron. Ted Cruz: " In terms of the Syrian refugees, we'll let in Christians only...NO muslims." How late did you stay up thinking of that one? OR maybe we can place them near and around their own damned countries for safety reasons and provide them with help and necessities.

Obama Insane Osama says, "You should all be ashamed of yourselves. This is not what our Country is all about." Barry, you lame brain, weak pussy.....you wouldn't know what our country is about if it slammed you in the face. And you've certainly done your very best to make our country quite unrecognizable to us too!

I have much more on my mind, but suffice it to say, as it is, I'm expecting your usual nasty, condescending sarcasm..attempt at displaying your self-conceived correctness....and that's become very tiresome. However, not at all impressive.


drbj profile image

drbj 10 months ago from south Florida

Congrats, my friend, on striking a nerve or two with this thoughtful piece.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 10 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

"I think Bernie represents a perfectly wonderful Grandpa. He's got ideas, energy and is certainly willing to "spoil" them."

Good analogy. I like it. One difference is that a Grandpa spoils with his own money.

"Obama Insane Osama says, "You should all be ashamed of yourselves...."

Obama also said:

' The police acted stupidly.'

'If you like your plan you can keep your plan.'

'No boots on the ground in Lebanon.'

'Rev. Wright is my pastor.'

'I will repeal the Patriot Act.'

'I will halve the deficit.'

'I am the post-racial President.'

" I'm expecting your usual nasty, condescending sarcasm..attempt at displaying your self-conceived correctness....and that's become very tiresome. However, not at all impressive."

Nor did you disappoint: providing no factual counter-arguments is de rigueur when the Progressive mindset cannot be defended.

Let the record show your comments were not deleted, a courtesy you do not provide.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 10 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

For Christ's sake nicomp...how old are you? You can cease anytime now displaying your fucking child-like tantrums. You have evident issues.

I have not a single need nor desire to "provide factual counter-arguments" due to courtesy or otherwise. Do you think you're conducting a class or a debate or survey? I completed my formal education when I earned my Doctorate. You're hardly a Professor! My intent is to COMMENT. Period the end. I'm also not on the witness stand under oath. NO NEED FOR ME TO PRESENT A DEFENSE FOR ANYONE.

Let the record show YOU have problems and none of them are mine.

I don't care if you read my comments, delete them or print them up and shove them down your throat. Get a grip on yourself young man. You're beginning to put Oz to shame. That's as bad as you can get. I'm DONE with you. You disgust me.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 10 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@fpherj48 : I will leave your previous comment so we can all enjoy your special style of communication.


Sgt Prepper profile image

Sgt Prepper 10 months ago from Elkhorn, WI

Anybody out there remember which Jewish magazine in December 2014 published an article which named all the U.S. congressmen who had dual-citizenship with Israel and named Bernie Sanders? I suspect Bernie has since relinquished it?


nicomp profile image

nicomp 10 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Sgt Prepper - Does Bernie have a birth certificate? Did he release his college transcripts? Have we met his pastor?


Sgt Prepper profile image

Sgt Prepper 10 months ago from Elkhorn, WI

I am sure Burnie has a real American birth certificate(unlike Obama) but that sometime after Israel became a nation in 1948 Sanders took-up dual-citizenship as many Jews have. Jews have rabbis.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 10 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Sgt Prepper Dang it! I thought we had him!

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