Beware Nice People

A Song

A Cat

Picture from Wickimedia Commons
Picture from Wickimedia Commons

A Girl

Nice people are dangerous.

I don't mean people who try to give the impression they're nice, and then change when you get to know them. Their true personalities surface eventually - and you probably never trusted them anyway. It serves you right if you did.

I don't mean con artists either. Some say that ‘you can’t con an honest man’. This is apparently because conmen use their victims’ greed and dishonesty to ensnare them - which seems fair game to me.

I certainly don't mean politicians who want your votes, and promise what we all know they won’t deliver. Nor do I mean sales people, who just want to sell you a warranty these days, which you don’t need anyway, because you already have your ‘statutory rights’, which are enshrined within ‘small government’, which by implication and intention, won't be there when you need it. We have a fighting chance with people like that.

I mean nice people - people who think that niceness, works. They're dangerous. I'll tell you why - eventually - but first, another thing I'll say about niceness is that it's just laziness in disguise. I'm not saying nice people are too lazy to, for example, get out of bed. I mean the kind of laziness that means they do get out of bed, but can't be bothered to complain, about always having to be the one who gets up first. Then they seethe, while breakfast simmers, and they wait for others to get up in their own good time, clawing their privates, and demanding breakfast. Now, that is laziness. Nastiness is much more difficult, even if it means you have to claw your own privates.

You might say that life is harder for people who want to be nice. They’re put upon. They're taken for granted because of their sweet natures. That's nonsense! They cause most of the trouble in The World. You find yourself sticking up for them. You stick your neck out, and your nose in, trying to help them, and they continue being nice to their abusers. Meanwhile, they’re not nice to you anymore - because you're a troublemaker now - aren't you! They'll try to avoid you from now on - but nicely (as long as no one else notices them being nice about it).

To be nasty, at least you have to take the trouble to assert your authority, or argue with someone, or both. Nice people will do anything to avoid confrontation, especially with authority; they know their place in the scheme of things. Another thing they do is swallow bullshit - and they’re so nice, they want to share it with you. They listen to the TV, and read magazines, and swallow it in spades. So it doesn't matter what kind of ism these nice people live under, they go with the flow and do what they're told, and that’s why megalomaniacs rule The World.

Megalomaniacs are nasty, of course, but nice people who fall under their spell are the cause of the trouble. They make up the ranks of the armies and monolithic corporations, upon which megalomaniacs build their empires. They're too nice to say that they don't want a bayonet up their chuff - yet, they’re not usually at the sharp end anyway. They’re so nice, their congeniality extends to an acceptance of a World order which is built on sweatshops, which they don’t have to clock into - and of the ensuing malcontent and upheaval, which they do have to endure, by watching TV, and tut-tutting, in between episodes of Home and Away.

Now I have a theory about commies and fascists; they're just two sides of the same coin - which isn't worth much. They're such a cantankerous, contrary, argumentative, bunch of smarty-pants', that nobody likes them, but they’re harmless. They're almost as harmless as megalomaniacs would be - without their blind followers; in fact, they would be megalomaniacs if they could be. Even their Mums hate them. They hate each other too, so they're always arguing, and breaking into factions.

They're so boring and anally retentively up their own chuffs with self-righteousness. No wonder they’re nasty and bitter. Look at what they have to deal with. How can they compete with nice, agreeable people, who believe what they're supposed to believe, and who don't want change, unless they’re told to want it? They face a mountain of amenable people who follow faithfully, the conventional wisdom, and repeat verbatim the words of the pundits, and flunkies of the nasty ruling elite. They idolise such elite, whose enthusiasm for nastiness is based on their self-assurance that they’re better at nastiness, than anyone else is.

Yet, nauseatingly nice moderates are by far the most dangerous people. We ought to deport them all to Milton Keynes. They use terms like "The Middle Way". They talk of fairness, and want to please, appease, and smiley-cheesy everyone, but just like water, niceness takes the route of least resistance.

Now, here's another example, try to imagine a pleasant fellowship of moderates having a tug-of-war, with a nasty cabal of extremists, be it from all extremes of every extremity, (except the end of your winkle, on a cold day.) The nice moderates would try to win the match by pulling the nasty cabal up to the line in the middle of the field. Then they’d stop, apologise and be nauseatingly sporting and nice about it. Then, the nasty cabal would jerk them back over the line, haul them off the field, and truss them up by their scrotums (the male ones, obviously) from the flagpole on top of the grandstand.

You see! These nice moderate people are the most dangerous people of all, because how can they represent anyone, when they're hanging by their scrotums? They never seem to 'get it', that being nice, conciliatory, and moderate, doesn't work. That's a 'no brainer' to nasty people.

Ok, one last thing about moderation, which we already know is the most dangerous kind of niceness. If you want to change things - I'm not talking about your underpants, you should do that daily; ask your Mum. I mean if you want to change society, or even recreate society where it had once ceased to exist. You might call it a "stakeholder society". Don't be nice about it. You won't do it by being moderate, conciliatory, and grovelling to nasty cabals.

You can't pussyfoot around with those, whose objective is the unfettered control of others. "Don't let anyone tell you" that housing bubbles and tax havens are in the interest of “the many, not the few”. That's stupid. Consider the logic. Name any precedence, where rewarding rapacity has safeguarded freedom.

At least, with your nasty cabal, you know exactly what to expect - and they won’t hang about. They'll get right on with it, while the rest of us are still hanging about on flagpoles.

Ignore the price above. (Someone's taking-the-p*ss.) Here's a link to a source other than Amazon.

The Vote: How It Was Won and How It Was Undermined by Paul Foot is available from Bookmarks, the socialist bookshop, at a special price of £20. Phone 020 7637 1848 or go to www.bookmarks.uk.com,

http://www.socialistworker.co.uk/art.php?id=5913

A Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

More by this Author


Comments 24 comments

Amanda Severn profile image

Amanda Severn 5 years ago from UK

I'm moderately certain that I should be offended by this hub, but I know you have all our best interests at heart. Perhaps you could sort out a few feather cushions when you have a minute, to help out your friends who are getting twitchy sitting on the fence!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

I can see your point, amillar but can only agree if I read "nice" as "apathetic". It's not nice people, per se, who are the danger; it's nice people who are apathetic and don't want to make waves.


amillar profile image

amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK Author

Hi Amanda,

I wouldn’t want to offend anyone with my hubs, least of all you. Call this a ramble, a rant or a reverie, but whatever it is, I don’t direct it at anyone in particular. Anyway, I imagine all of the people are not moderate all of the time.

They say it takes all kinds, and who am I to criticise others - as individuals? What we do in a democracy, we do together. In that respect, at least, 'we're all in this together'

Thanks for looking in on me - it’s nice to see you again.


amillar profile image

amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK Author

Hi drbj,

Yes I agree apathetic is a better word, and I'd rather be a moderate than an extremist. I suppose it’s ok to be just a bit radical.

Someone once used the word "complacent" to describe what’s happened to democracy; that’s a good word.

Our English teacher told us not to use the word ‘nice’ at school, but that was a long time ago, and I don’t always do what I’m told; to some people, that’s not nice, while others don‘t mind.

I wonder if Ghandi was a nice person. I’m sure his Mum thought so. He wasn‘t apathetic.

I’ve just looked up nice on my computer’s dictionary: right at the bottom of the list of different meanings, number 7 it says: fastidious and fussy - very concerned and careful about choosing, or being seen to do, the right thing. ‘You can't be too nice about your methods if you want to get the job done.’ Maybe my teacher was right about the damn word; it’s too late for me now.

Anyway, thanks for your visit and your comment. It’s good (rather than nice) to see you again.


images99 5 years ago

I know amillar you didn't take it nicely, my comments on your last hub so you have written this hub just to tell the world that people who belong to politics and sales are not nice people, as you know fully well that I am an ex-sales person. So okay that was my mistake and I take my comments back and expect you to write some nice things about sales people at least, you are free to write about politicians as per your will.see you.


amillar profile image

amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK Author

Hi Suny,

I’ve lost all comprehension of the word ‘nice’ now - I suppose you might say I have nice analysis fatigue; it’s a bit like listening fatigue in the recording studio, or compassion fatigue from watching too many disasters on TV.

Anyway, you say you’re an ex-salesman (is there still a market for ex’s?), I’m still a salesman, so nobody’s perfect - not to mention politicians.

By the way, all is forgiven - whatever the comment was. You can keep all I promised you.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

It is difficult to boil semantics down to a simple equation. It sounds like you are equating "nice" with dishonest, which does occur sometimes. However, nasty people can be dishonest, also. It all depends on motivation. A person with a "nasty" reputation may scratch his balls and fart in public for the attention he gathers or repels. His motivation could be deceptive in using antisocial tactics with an agenda to prove he is "real". He feels he exudes raw honesty, when he may just be a smelly malcontent foisting his need to say he is comfortable in his own skin. Those percieved as "nice" are aware that we all fart, but don't insist on offending the guy next to them to illustrate how honest they are in their own humanity. Whose the bigger fake or in this case, fart?


amillar profile image

amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK Author

Hi Amy,

Yes, I suppose it's about semantics, and about perception; how we describe how we see others. We're all different, because we all have different experiences, and different natures and talents with which we deal with those experiences.

I don't remember why I wrote this hub; it was some time ago. I know I had no objective other than to write down something I wanted to say, to get it (whatever 'it' is) off my chest, knowing that if I said it to people around me I'd just be making a nuisance of myself. In that respect, although I don't scratch my balls in public, I'm probably more offensive than those who do.

I suppose you might say then, that writing hubs like this is a sort of virtual ball scratching for psychological gratification. For that reason I appreciate your visit, and for your comment, because if I met you on a St Louis street and started such a rant, you'd probably, and quite understandably, poke me in the eye with your umbrella and walk the other way. (Do you get much rain in St Louis?)


Amanda Severn profile image

Amanda Severn 5 years ago from UK

Hi Amillar, you're absolutely right. Most 'nice' people, even the naturally moderate ones, can't keep it up all the time. I expect even Mother Teresa had her off days!


amillar profile image

amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK Author

Hi Amanda,

Well, I suppose defining niceness is like trying to grasp water; some (not much) of it sticks, for some time.

To be honest, I forgot what I meant by Beware Nice People. I said to myself this morning (I do often), "What were you wittering on about in this hub"? So, I read it through, and found the bit where I explain "people who think that niceness, works". So, there must have been some kind of subliminal message there: People who don't like to make a fuss; nothing changes - or politicians who talk of "the middle way"; nothing much changes. If you want things to get better, you have to be radical. People might not like you, but you cant make an omelette without breaking eggs.

I think that's what I meant by nice people, but even then, we might be radical about some things some of the time, and moderate about other things, at other times. I suppose it depends on what kind of omelette you like at any given time.

I’m so confused now.


Amanda Severn profile image

Amanda Severn 5 years ago from UK

It's hard to hear murmurs and mutterings. You have to shout if you want people to listen. In that sense, the people who 'don't like to complain' do the rest of us few favours. I'm not a natural complainer myself, but I do believe a little judicious public insurrection doesn't go amiss from time to time!


amillar profile image

amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK Author

Yes Amanda, I like that expression "judicious public insurrection", because if things need to change, as we know they do, then there's no reason why the change shouldn't actually favour "the many not the few". (Did you see the poem in there?) We shouldn't let a crisis go to waste, as they say.

But we should never underestimate the deviousness and determination of the establishment.


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

Strong point and very objective opinion. Hopefully I learn much from you. Thank you very much.


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US

I thought he was talking about me until he got to a certain point, lol....I mean ha ha.


amillar profile image

amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK Author

Hi prasetio30,

It's good to see you my friend. I try to be objective, but I'm clever enough to know, that I'm not clever enough to know everything. (Or should that be old enough?)

Thanks for looking in on me.


amillar profile image

amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK Author

Hi Polly,

I think I should have called the hub Beware Niceness, because we can all be different things to different people at different times, in different circumstances. I've learned from writing this hub that it's hard to define what a nice person is. Even if we change the word to apathetic, moderate, or complacent, it seems to me now, that it's not an easy label to put on people. It might work with inanimate objects, but I won't go into that now, I think I need a holiday/vacation from the nasty word. (See - I can't even say it now!)

Thanks for stopping by; it's good to see you.


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 5 years ago from South Africa

I won't be nice about this - I loved this read! And I actually agree that too much niceness is a pain in the arse and people who insist on being nice in a certain sense are doing so for entirely selfish and manipulative reasons. So avoiding them is sheer self-preservation.

Was that not nice enough? I hope so, because I wan't meaning to be nice!

Love and peace

Tony


amillar profile image

amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK Author

Hi Tony,

I don't think you could be anything but nice. Although, I'm not sure I really know what the word means now. The dictionary on this computer, which is by no means comprehensive, (whatever that means), has 7 different meanings for the word nice. (Another fine mess Stanley.)

Anyway, it’s convivial to see you again.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 5 years ago

Go jump in the river! I don't mean it! God bless!


amillar profile image

amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK Author

Hi Micky Dee,

I might just wait for warmer weather, but thanks for dropping by anyway.


Virginia 4 years ago

long and the short of it if your in a realtionahip with a 'nice apathetic' partner, it turns into a mud bath of no emtional trust , when the chips are down you cannot rely on them and you also get pilled down the rabbit hole with them, whislt their abusers continue to create havoc in your life...... do i speak from experience , you bet!! great wrting and great blog. thankyou as i now know i am not mad and not mad for letting go........


amillar profile image

amillar 4 years ago from Scotland, UK Author

Hi Virginia I know what you mean, there's a lot to be said in favour of assertiveness. However, we're all different, and leopards don't change their proverbials.

You don't seem mad in any way, (maybe just a bit justifiably angry). It seems you did the right thing. All the best.


Shinkicker profile image

Shinkicker 4 years ago from Scotland

Your Hubs are so readable amillar, always a pleasure.

But to transport nice people to Milton Keynes? How cruel! Have you been there? I wouldn't send my worst enemy to Milton Keynes.

Russian Gulag, Guantanamo Bay, Turkish jail, yes, but not the dreaded MK :-)

Cheers!


amillar profile image

amillar 4 years ago from Scotland, UK Author

Hi Shinkicker,

I have to admit to two things now. Firstly, no, I've never been to Milton Keynes and secondly, yes I do have a cruel streak. Thirdly, I must be clairvoyant, knowing how bad it is in Milton Keynes, without ever having been there. Fourthly, I can't count; I said I was only admitting to two things. Fifthly, that makes me a liar as well.

Thanks for reading BTW - always a pleasure having you drop by.

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