Who Do You Think Is The Scapegoat Of Society? Child Hood Behavior's Are In Bad Repute! Just Blame The Parents!

Blame It On The Parents!

There was a time when we had community. The community used to look out for our young people as they played in the streets. Dare any of these groups of youths get up to mischief, they would be threatened with a ‘clip ‘round the ear’ and ‘told on’ to the parents of the scoundral. At which point, there might be another clip.

These neighbours would probably know the parents – they might work together, for instance. No scapegoat here, just community responsibility. Mother would keep a careful watch, like many other mothers, outside the window. She might be completing a chore, like washing up, so good behaviour was encouraged - you just didn’t know who might be watching. That was the beauty of community - the parents were known and so were their children.

Kids used to attend school and were well disciplined – if they ‘back-cheeked’ the teacher, there were consequences to these actions. Corporal punishment saw to that. Unfortunately, some people in positions of power abused this deterrent. This led to its abolition. So scapegoat the education system? No, this would be too easy! It is much easier to point the finger at the parents of today.

The threat, however, was there in those days and children respected a very black and white rule - if you went against convention, then you were punished. This punishment did not hang over you for long – it was short, it was sharp but when it was done, it was done! There was no sympathy from the parents, either. Oh no! If you complained, at best you may have had a repeat punishment and, at least, told that you deserved it. So to scapegoat, as a result of the child or young person's behaviour, the parents was not an option. It was the child to blame for his actions and not the parents!

At the end of the day, the parents had been through the system too and there is no substitute for experience. Today, I often hear older people say this sort of discipline didn’t do them any harm. Most of these tough ‘birds’ and ‘geezers’ had lived through the war, you know! However, I do hear them say 'I blame the parents' when there is unacceptable social behaviour from our younger citizens. Perhap's they scapegoat the kids, as much as anyone within our society?

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Parents - Society's Scapegoats

Scapegoat: ASBOS, Childhood Obesity, Abuse - Who is to blame? The Parents. of course!

Now lets hunt the scapegoat! Today, when children play and congregate outside, what used to be viewed as ‘groups of youths’ are now considered ‘gangs’. ASBO orders are awarded to children for doing what kids have always done or, at least, what they could have done, given the opportunity.

There is no empowerment for community members. Give a kid a clip around the ear hole today and wait for a summons or be sued. There is, simply, no community or community responsibility. The parents, the villains of our article - the scapegoat, are working 24/7. They pay their mortgages (remember there is no social housing anymore – all that was sold off in the 90’s!) and basic expenses in order to live.

It appears, therefore, that it is socially unacceptable for young people to gather within their local areas. It is easy to find a scapegoat - THE PARENTS! Why let kids out on the streets anyway? They are a menace! Good parents, therefore, keep kids in the home. They have to be entertained somehow.

So, kids sit for hours on end on these computer games. Stop! This is bad parenting –tut tut! Lets search for a scapegoat... 'Look what you are doing to your child! You are adding to childhood obesity! This has become an epidemic! Not to mention, the psychological affects upon your children from the games they play! Ummm… so where does the responsibility land for this? Well, there is only one finger to point to – THE PARENTS!

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Good parents encourage their children to go and play in the local playground. After all, it is only 1½ mile down the road. The parents, like everyone else, believe in good exercise! We don't want to encourage obesity, do we? Playing on your lonesome isn’t too much fun though - the other kids are glued in the safety of their own homes, playing video games! However, there seems today that there is a lack of local common knowledge of community (what community?), compared to the old days. Why doesn't society seek a scapegoat for this too? Government? Lifestyle?

Everyone knew, in those old days, what everyone else was doing and children were educated as to who to trust and who not to. Kids were watched and were encouraged to stay within the safety of their peer groups. The neighbourhood and the parents knew the dodgy old geezer from down the road. He might even have a ‘community nickname’ like ‘Flashing Freddy’, for example. This was actually 'normal' and everyone had an informed idea of this weirdo!

Today, however, because of the isolating nature of our society, it is not a surprise that our children may be targeted by some paedophile. So, when this happens, what is society searches for that scapegoat and asks... Where were the parents? The possible answer?

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They might have been working extra time to cover the rise in the council tax charge or work uses psychological pressure to keep their worker back – they are inundated! Of course refusal often offends - you could even lose your job! Losing your livelihood could mean losing your home! The parents are bad. They should take responsibility for what happens to their children! It is easy to scapegoat the blame - It is those parents again!

Now the fear has really set in. Well, at least you know your kids are safe at school, so using the car; you drop your kids off at school. Bad parents! Remember... childhood obesity AND environment affects?! Well, at least the parents know they have safely dropped little Johnny or Jenny off and it is a relief to know he/she won’t be a target of sexual deviance! However, why don't we just scapegoat them anyway? Everyone else does!!

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The parents drop their little darlings at the school gate on time, but that doesn't guarantee that they attend the lessons. What is it to stop the child from leaving via the exit school gate? In many cases, the parents are the last to know of such truancy! But it is always wiser just to scapegoat them anyway! Even though It isn’t until the parents get a call from the school to learn of such truancy. Punishment? No, silly, not the parents - the kids! Well the truth is that no one is actually allowed to discipline children nowadays, anyway! Best just to punish the scapegoat!

Truancy in the UK can lead to fining the parents and can even lead to imprisonment. Well it is always best to imprisoned – lets not even go down the line of the consequence of this, but you can imagine what an impact this could have to the fundamentals in family life! For the sins of our kids, it is much easier to just SCAPEGOAT THE PARENTS!

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So, imagine the confrontation at home with parent and child - the parents might shout - parenting is a difficult enough a job as it is, yet alone be criticised for being human. The parents are now bad abusive parent! You might give your child a ‘short, sharp, shock’, as they would say in the old days. Now scapegoat the abuser! The parents are bad! You do realise that every action you perform on your kids has a long-term affect on them, don't you? For the next 40 years you will be a scapegoat for all their failures and unhappiness in their lives. Well, isn't that what a scapegoat is for?

All right, a good parent does nothing. Maybe send the child to bed (they like this, they have all their toys and games here). Don’t you think the parents are encouraging more bad behaviour? Yes, definitely. Who is the scapegoat? Yes, you've guessed it - the parents!

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Now imagine this. You have an adolescent male who knows you can’t do anything to discipline him. He learns that he has the control over you. He might even be threatening and confrontational to you.

It is normal for adolescents to rebel, after all. If the parents were to behave in the same manner, they would be abusers. If this happened to you by your partner, for example, you would be supported (advised to go to a refuge, get legal support and even have the right to an injunction). In today’s society, however, there is no such support for the parents. If your lovely darling does this to you, it is obviously because of the way you have brought him up - you are the scapegoat, remember!

Not only, is he is protected under a certain age, it isn’t wise for the parents to disable their child. Police involvement could end up in prosecution! Remember, this could lead to a criminal record, thereby limiting the choice of future work and proving the parents as scapegoat to the destruction of the child's future. Not only the parents are considered a scapegoat but they could end up being lumbered with the behaviour for the next 20 years! At the end of the day, our kids are who they are because the parents made them what they are today. The only thing that I can say to that is…. SCAPEGOAT THE PARENTS!

This work is covered under Creative Commons License

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Comments 44 comments

Nicole Winter profile image

Nicole Winter 6 years ago from Chicago, IL

Bless you, Shazwellyn, couldn't have said it better myself.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK

Its sad but true. The world has changed so much now. Parents take a lot of flack for things, even when they are doing their best for the kids.

Slap them on the wrists a little, the kids call the police and social services come and put the child in foster care, which is the beginning of a life of instability for the child.

Have you noticed you now have to be careful at taking kids photo's?

God help us all.


Uninvited Writer profile image

Uninvited Writer 6 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

How many hubs are you going for in the challenge? Good luck.


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 6 years ago from Ohio

Good hub....The world is full of crap...it's a struggle for parents and kids...I never feared the system....I think our kids respected me for that. :)


lbtrader profile image

lbtrader 6 years ago from Canada

I'm not big on corporal punishment but I do agree what you write about in general.

Did you ever notice how adults who write the rules act in the political chambers. They make a mockery of their own rules and make us live up to the words of those rules.

Shameful.


Duchess OBlunt 6 years ago

How sad that we as parents can all relate to this. I remember getting that clip around the ear as a child. I was a naughty child and I deserved it. But you are right, you do that today, watch your back!

You take a great risk just by saying BLAME IT ON THE PARENTS. I'm sure somewhere in that statement, someone is going to take offense.

Good hub!


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 6 years ago from India

So true - and it seems to be the same the world over. The sad thing in all this is, our children are losing their childhood!


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

Duchess OBlunt says: 'You take a great risk just by saying BLAME IT ON THE PARENTS. I'm sure somewhere in that statement, someone is going to take offense'... You know, my friend, I am soooo fed up with being 'politically correct' at the expense of oppressed 'free speech'!


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

lbtrader says: 'Did you ever notice how adults who write the rules act in the political chambers. They make a mockery of their own rules and make us live up to the words of those rules.'... Yes, I agree... those making the rules dont bother with parenting... they just send the kids to public school and pay 'lesser mortals' to bring their children up. They cop out of 'parental responsibility' and dictate to the rest of us!


sandra rinck 6 years ago

I am so glad I got to read this. Just last night and the night before while my kid was being a booger, screaming at the top of her lungs for the entire city to hear etc...

I had finally had enough, the thought crossed my mind that someone is gonna come up to my door and tell me to take control of my kid or maybe a cop would show up to do an investigation or something to make sure I was not abusing my kid...

The more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that two word phrase that seems to make a world of difference to anyone who thinks that what I am doing is wrong. FU comes to mind. lol

I poured over it, a 4 year is not easy...anyways what I am saying is, my mom and dad both wooped my arse when I got out of line. I grew up just fine (teen years not included). Then I thought, what the hell, if someone were to say to me that I do not have control over my kid but wants to say something about the hand print on her behind all I think I could say is, "I should have done this a long time ago!"

Thankfully with the support and understanding of many mothers and parents whose kids are already grown up and stuff I learned that you really do have to discipline you kids otherwise they walk all over you and will have little to no respect for me or anyone else.

I certainly hate being blamed for it but I would rather you blame me then my kid because it aint her fault. Excellent hub. And I remember those days when parents worked together to keep a look out on all the kids.

Today you can hardly say a word to another parent or they get offended. I actually asked one lady (I know her of course) that if while I was gone, my kid did something you have to let her know it is not okay. You know what she said. "I do not believe in disciplining other kids or other disciplining mine."

Anyways I am just rambling now..


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

Sandra rinck, keep strong, my friend. It seems whatever parents do in today's society, is wrong. We cant win, so do what is in your heart and dont let the buggers get you down!


Misha profile image

Misha 6 years ago from DC Area

LOL Sharon, I don't think it is only about parenting. We as a community more and more push ourselves into the area of unsustainable "achievements". We'll pay a steep price for that shortly I am afraid... :(

Leaving the hub topic aside, I love to see your lovely face in my hubtivity, but it hurts me to see your author score hovering below 75. You don't deserve it. So I took some time to take a look at your hubs, and I have a couple of advices to you. Take it or leave it, it is offered in a good faith.

I think you got hurt with your consistent linking to your twitter, facebook, and myspace profiles. Remove it from the hubs altogether, leave these links only on your profile.

Second, you tend to interlink a lot of your hubs. Per se it is not hurtful, just not so necessary I would think, but you tend to use big chunks of text with your links and your linking part often is much bigger than a hub itself. This could easily trigger automatic dupe flags on your hubs, and hurt your hubscore further.

If you don't like this unsolicited advice, just deny my comment, no hard feelings on my side :)


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

Thank you Misha. I value what you have to say and will adjust my hubs accordingly. Maybe I shall interlink those that are associated to a hub x


Misha profile image

Misha 6 years ago from DC Area

Cool, I see you already doing it, and your score is already above 75 :)

If you put your hubs in groups (that you are free to create, name, and maintain any way you want), they will be sort of interlinked within every group. Every hub gets a link to the previous and the next hubs in the group, at its bottom. :)


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

Misha.. how do I put them in hub groups? Is this via the profiles page?


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 6 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

You have a good point there, Shaz! Keep hubbing!


GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 6 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines

Hi shaz... you have a nice hub here... Keep Hubbing...


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

Hi, my friend General! Thank you for giving me some encouragment... the more I hub, the more my overall score drops, so am delighted to have your support! Thanks x


avangend profile image

avangend 6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

The loss of community is a sad thing. I grew up in a cul-de-sac in Kansas City where all the mothers knew each other. There were five or six of us boys that rode bikes, played soccer, climbed trees, and just did what kids are supposed to do. We lived outside, and we knew that Mrs. Ferris or Mrs. Spencer were probably watching us somewhere.

Since then, the self-imposed cloisterment of men and women who live ten yards from one another has become somewhat ridiculous. Nobody plays in the streets. Pick up hockey is a thing of the past. Trees are dangerous. And we do not trust those "other people" that live across the street, so no, children, you cannot ride your bikes unless you want to be kidnapped.

I feel like I may have grown up in the last age of good childhoods - before XBOX, before widespread suspicion of everyone, back when kids played sports for fun...


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

Avangend... You can see the change too. Our children know not what life could have offered them. We are lucky... we know what it is to be innocently free!

You might understand another hub ...

http://hubpages.com/politics/Kids-of-the-60s-The-F...

Thanks for reading x


TheGlassSpider profile image

TheGlassSpider 6 years ago from On The Web

Thanks for recommending this shaz. I really enjoyed the sarcastic tone of voice, and I couldn't have said it better myself. Somewhere it seems like we all became afraid of one another and destroyed the very communities that used to keep us safe. Now we're all floating like dandelions, each family trying to survive alone it seems, and none of us can really do it. I wish we could all start all over again with what we know now.


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

thanks Glass. The only resolve is to bring back 'community' and community responsibility. We also need disipline in our schools and homes. We are too scared to do anything for fear of being wrong.

Thanks for reading my friend x


Jumpness profile image

Jumpness 6 years ago from Milford, MI

I could write a long list of everything I agree with, but I would just be repeating what you said. I really do think it starts with not disciplining children at a young age.


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

Well... it might be easier just to blame it on the parents... lets face it .. everyone else does! lol x


leigia67 profile image

leigia67 6 years ago

Amen to all that! I was a lawyer before I decided to stay home with my daughter and I can tell you that you hit the nail on the head with this article!!!!


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

leigia67... now you are a parent be sure to get some blame. What for? Don't worry, I am sure society will think of something!

Thanks for reading,

Shaz (frustrated and blamed parent) x


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

Shazwelllyn, This was a very well written hub and I agree with you. I maybe got smacked once or twice but I grew up in a secure environment with loving parents that weren't afraid to set boundaries. I became a responsible adult that could stand on her own two feet in tough times and wasn't looking for anyone to bail me out of my own mistakes. You learn, you move on. I am fed up with political correctness also.


brianzen profile image

brianzen 6 years ago

Empowering parents begins with traditional reasoning. Take the power away from the system at every level, after all the outside world isn't raising anyone's kids directly. So the accountability never belongs to them, I believe we should remove the veil and show people in the social services communities what parents handle these days by themselves in the face of judgement and accusations even from in some cases the kids themselves. That comes from the schools telling these kids how we should act as parents, and as citizens, and that can bias an adolescent. let alone a teen. So who loses ultimately? These kids cannot be corrected once they know what buttons to press, that is a shift in power of the most ignorant and common kind. Great Subject and it would be a great topic for 30 in 30days


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

Thank you soooo much for your contribution. This is valuable.

Are you thinking about doing the 30 hubs in 30 days? This is a mean feat.. I haven't managed to achieve this. I find that I want quality content and if you rush these things, you end up losing the quality. Still maybe next time?

Thanks for reading x


expats profile image

expats 6 years ago from UK

Some excellent points in your hub. I really do think a lot of parents are frightened nowadays to let their children play outside on their own, or even in a group. Maybe that`s why kids are entertained by computer games, ipods, and TVs. What is the world coming to?


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

Parents are scapegoated, whatever way you look at it, it seems the parents are wrong. Expats... Sometimes I think the world has gone mad! Thanks for your comment - a valuable contribution :)


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

Parents are scapegoated, whatever way you look at it, it seems the parents are wrong. Expats... Sometimes I think the world has gone mad! Thanks for your comment - a valuable contribution :)


wavegirl22 profile image

wavegirl22 6 years ago from New York, NY

shaz .. you are an amazing writer my friend .. I poured over every word here and I could not have said it as profoundly as you did here. .Big Thumbs up .. !!!!!!


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

Wavegirl *blushes* .. thank you x


suny51 profile image

suny51 6 years ago

Hello shazwellyn-my first visit to your pages is an experience,I admire what you say,an inspiration,and lots of reminders.A green oval-thumbs-up.


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

Thanks Sunny... we need to respect parents not decry them! :)


rose56 profile image

rose56 6 years ago

Hello shazwellyn, thanks for the good hub.


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 6 years ago from Great Britain Author

It is lovely that you dropped by Rose... Welcome and enjoy! :)


Samantha 4 years ago

Why is it ok for other children to beat and atempt to kill another child and socail services and the school blames the parents for what's happening on school grounds, betwwen classes? why should the parent take the blame when it happens two days after one of the perant has an operation. Why should a good child be forced to change to be a bad child and lie just to mix in to keep teachers, socail services and the police happy? Should a parent and child be forced to stay in and have no friends and family around to help just because socail services and the police says no-one is aloud in your lifes and not aloud your front door and need to know every move you make. How can anyone live like that and in fear that you might lose your child you dearly love and give them the best you can disabled or not.


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 4 years ago from Great Britain Author

Samantha - I can hear the pain in your words. The truth is that it is easy for everyone to just blame the parents. It is a cop out. Whatever good intentions parents have, it always seems to be wrong.

Schools are dangerous places for children - remember that teachers live in their own reality and give kids conflicting information to what the parents give.

I was talking to my son about drugs the other day and he thought it acceptable to experiment. Why? because his teacher said it was normal! What hope do our kids have when they are given information like this?! The easy solution? Dump it on the scapegoat of society. Blame it on the parents!!!


Diana McCaul 4 years ago

Waaaa! Poor maligned parents, getting accused by society of not doing their jobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S BECAUSE THEY DON'T. Be quiet and parent up. Count your blessings and hold your babies close. Sounds like all you want to do is defend your own bad parenting. Which probably needs it given all the time you have spent telling others how YOU feel and just how rotten parenting is.

So you blame the teachers and the schools? Then shut the bleep up and become and educator or and activist. It's easy to bitch and moan, but action is something else.

YOU ARE SOCIETY! You are responsible. Anyone who chooses to become a parent (it is a choice when you educate), needs to step up to the plate.

Maybe if the parents were not so selfishly playing video games or writing their blogs about how rotten parenting is because society holds them responsible for their offspring (damn that rotten society and it's silly expectations of civilized behavior), they would have time to raise decent humans.

My grandmother used to say there are no rotten kids, just rotten parents.

NOTICE: Your invitation to tea has been rescinded, since tea is part of civilized society and we are far too critical of your parenting skills it would be best for all if you simply did not come. We invite you to differentiate between opinion and fact, if you are able.

Sincerely,

Hoping you will find a copy of Elements of Grammar so at least your opinion if readable.

To the woman who thinks that this HUB is well written . . . yet another example of a wasted education. Really? Do you know how to conjugate a verb? Ah, that is why you are so angry at teachers.


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 4 years ago from Great Britain Author

Bless you Diana


Theophanes profile image

Theophanes 4 years ago from New England

It will always be a challenge to raise children in a society where they are viewed as the property of their parents. You're right we no longer live in communities but there are parents who are to blame for doing a shitty job! There are two kinds of parents, those that try and those that just don't give a fuck who probably should have never had kids in the first place. It's the latter whose children are running feral, stealing things, beating on their peers with a chain, and going on shooting sprees. I mean come on, if your kid shoots someone down purposely or tortures small animals to death you as a parent have not bothered to try and raise them as descent respectful little human beings.


shazwellyn profile image

shazwellyn 4 years ago from Great Britain Author

Theophanes, I understand where you are coming from and, of course, you are right.

I feel like a blamed parent in society. Daniel has Asperger's Syndrome and can have some bad behaviours, despite my teaching him love and respect (I am very much a person who believes in love, see Law of Attraction series - do no harm, cause no loss or injury). However, even I, as he approaches 18 years of age, am residing myself that - despite every effort to help him and do the best to teach him - he will probably end up in Prison (and will be happy in this environment, I have no doubt!). So, here I am...judge me and condemn me for all the best intentions of a caring, loving parent.

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