Bullwinkle & Sarah

To start out I need to set out with a bit o' Sarahness and hopefully a sweet and tender hockey mom's gentleness will permeate through. Or else the lipstick painted pit-bull and toothless hockey son's temperment will take over. VOICE OVER- "NHL Philadelphia Flyers, Sara Palinn penalty, two minutes for "High-Sticking" Obama/Biden.

Lyrics to "Sara", Jefferson Starship 1986

SING THIS IN A SENATOR JOHN MCCAIN VOICE now that the election is over.

“ Go now don't look back we've drawn the line

Move on it's no good to go back in time

I'll never find another girl like you, for happy endings it takes two

We're fire and ice, the dream won't come true

Sara, Sara, storms are brewin' in your eyes

Sara, Sara, no time is a good time for goodbyes

danger, in the game when the stakes are high

branded, my heart was branded while my senses stood by

I'll never find another girl like you, for happy endings it takestwo

We're fire and ice, the dream won't come true

Sara, Sara, storms are brewin' in your eyes

Sara, Sara, no time is a good time oh

Sara, Sara, storms are brewin' in your eyes

Sara, Sara, no time is a good time for goodbyes

('cause Sara) loved me, like no one ever loved me before

(and Sara) hurt me, no one could ever hurt me more

(and Sara) Sara

(and Sara) nobody loved me anymore

I'll never find another girl like you

We're fire and ice, the dream won't come true

Sara, Sara, no time is a good time oh

Sara, Sara, storms are brewin' in your eyes

Sara, Sara, no time is a good time for goodbyes

Sara, Sara, storms are brewing in your eyes

Sara, Sara, no time is a good time, no

Oh Sara, why did it, why did it, why did it all fall apart”

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YES, where did it fall apart , but better yet, who said it was even together?

Fade-In, Iris-Out, Roll opening credits over Moose’n Squirrel, queue “Rocky & Bullwinkle” Theme Song, Crash-Cut to opening Scene. Visuals: Explosion, landscape image shakes, smoke and debris fall.

Bullwinkle sitting in a pile of junk, cuckoo birds circle his antlers while chirping as he says: “Duh…. Hey Rock’, watch me pull a Sarah outta my hat!” “Ah…Duh, wrong head…er hat!” “Ouch that’s smarts!” As he rubs his head. “Not meeeeeee!”

Rocky, in a high voice: (voice over) “No not Joe Bye-Deeen’s head, he’s not a girl!”

Bullwinkle still sitting there in the pile of junk says: “He’s not a girl?…. Sorry…Joe…. Oooops!”

And reaches in his top hat again and pulls out a smiling Sarah Palin head:

“Ohhhhh….. My Gosh! Don’t shoot me Madame Veep, donne shoot!” “Sorry ‘bout the beehive-doo Ms. Sarah, must of bin… ah ‘spensive ha-doo!” “Donne worry, the bees ‘ill find the hive, honey! I promise! “Cross my heart’n hope to die!” “Oh no, oh, oh no….not that either.” “I mean…. they smell ya honey’n duh ya smoke pot?” “ Oh geeeez!” The bees buzzed off screen, then re-enter and: “Buzzzzzz…. Bizzzzzz…Zooooooom”…Bullwinkle: “OUCH!” Then he rubs his head again and speaks slurring, “Yaw didn’t think I coulda had smarts twice? Did ya?” Then he digs into his top hat and fumbles around for a bit and finally pulls out a long thin steel blue tube. And he pulls and pulls and pulls. Finally the end is near, a 12-guage shotgun emerges: “Hmmmmm Sarah?” he wonders and thinks out loud inquisitively, suddenly she grabs it from his white four-fingered glove hands and points the gun right between his eyes.

“Cut, that’s wrap!” the real human being, cartoon voice-actor’s director says from behind a recording studio soundproof glass booth in a tinny microphone voice.

24 hours later in real time:

The headlines read:

HOLLYWOOD- ApE, Jay Ward Productions c.1959-

New York Times reports that Republican Vice Presidential nominee Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska has shot and killed Bullwinkle J. Moose. Mr. Moose best friend of Rocky J. Squirrel, while Palin was hunting, she expresses no remorse, while the nation mourns. Republicans, McCain/Pailin are falling fast in the polls and political gambits agree Palin’s Annie Oaklie 1st degree episode will spin a juicy game-meaty tale with the Republican NRA type folk. And now, Rocky J. Squirrel a former McCain backer, Rocky and McCain go way back to U.S. Navy flight school has joined the Obama campaign CNNNzzz has learned.

At the outset of Bullwinkle’s slaughter, a witness, a Miss Sweet Polly, who hunts edible mushrooms in the forest, said this: “Governor Palin was ruthless, Bullwinkle was innocently talking to his bird friends under oak tree # 3a, scene 8, pan 4, frame 3,762, when suddenly several loud Pop- Bang-Pops were heard. The birds scattered, Bullwinkle dropped like a ton-a-bricks and every critter in the woods hid’n fear. I took cover in a felled hallow birch. Peaking through a bark crack, I saw Ms. Palin “High-Five’n Boris and Natasha as they swung down from their high above tree perch lookout post as they hit ground,” Miss Polly said. “The three-some had military camouflage fatigues on and used the latest Motorola Walkie-Talkies! As they were preoccupied with their murderous celebration which included some kind of “wiggle-booty” and a double hip bounce, hockey-check dance move. I, Miss Polly, creped out of my safe hallow and crawled in the mud to the bleeding yet still barely breathing, our beloved Bullwinkle (crying). As I covered him with my now soiled “Underdog windbreaker c. 1967,” Bullwinkle whispered bloody spurts, these gurgling and spewing words: “Uh Duh…. tell Rocky to…duh… get my…. uh duh… Digital DNA before Sarah eats me for Thanksgiving! Then download it and copy/paste/clone me!” Bullwinkle’s eye’s rolled back and spewed a final bloody tsunami from his lips then expired. I always remembered, Miss Sweet Polly said, “Underdog was a pain’n the butt then, Underdog, McCain and Rocky all graduated U.S, Navy flight school together and they were as cocky as hell! Bullwinkle and I were dating years ago, Bullwinkle always said that Rocky and him were NOT Gay!” Miss Sweet Polly, in a nervous laugh, smiled as a single tear rolled down her acetate cel cheek and dissolved her Koh-I-Noor Rapidograph Pen drawn ink line lip as the “Ink & Paint” Cartoon Colour Co. supply, from the ‘60s cel animation smudge’s and smeared a possible antique future framed and signed authentic cel animation painting worth like $750 on eBay, could be ruined! As she blew her nose for a second time, and that came off too!

Cartoon Obituary

Moose, Bullwinkle J.

Age 49, Hollywood California, formerly of Fairbanks, Alaska. Was life partner, TV and Motion Picture cartoon character actor and partner to Rocky the Flying Squirrel, produced by Jay Ward Productions c. 1959. Rocky and Bullwinkle starred in many, many TV episodes, feature length Motion Pictures in 3D computer animation as well traditional 2D. His long time friend and partner, Rocky and his archenemies, Boris and Natasha plus his adoring fans and many nieces and nephews survive him! Send donations to: Animator’s Guild of America, NFL-CIA Retirement Fund: 202 W. Road Runner Way - Suite 106, Santa Acme, CA. 77777. Digital flowers are not accepted. Memorial Services at Cartoonists and Martyrs Church, see details @ www.cartoonists&martyrs.com

VISIT GUEST BOOK at www.cartoonists&martyrs.com or to this

(HubPage Comments capsule)

Eulogy

Mr. Moose (Mouses plural, “dated”) was a palmate (antler bearing) of the males and the sweetest North American elk cartoon character (Latin/ Alces alces cartoonius, deer family) around. Although Gov. Palin thought Bullwinkle was sweet too like in a chocolate mousse type-a-way except for the hairy parts she of course found disgusting used V05 mousse on the loins to cement them down. Then McCain used his trusty knife. Her mousse/moose vocabulary was certainly and atrociously hairy to say the leased. But sweetness was Mr. Moose, Mooses, and Meese .yes dumb. Yes, but oh so, so loveable! He would give the antler off his back; I mean head, to help a human/animal cartoon being. Although most humans he encountered were evil! But nonetheless he didn’t care, after all a human cartoon animator could just draw him a new one in a Toon Boom Studio Animation software of a multi pixel move or an Adobe Flash of an eye. Bullwinkle loved everybody, especially Rocky, Rocky J. Squirrel, his lil’ buddy, the Flying Squirrel (get your mind outta the gutter!). Now we all heard the rumors, Rocky and Bullwinkle were not Gay!! Besides inter species sexual relations were not karmically allowed in the Cartoonland. Animal sex was referred to as with humans. Ahem, enough of that subject.

The Rocky & His Friends TV Show lasted two years on ABC, then was picked up by NBC, under the name The Bullwinkle Show ... the name Fractured Fairy Tales a new company wasn't a cross-media phenomena. But Bullwinkle’s good human friend, Paul Frees, his voice actor, in the major roles (Rocky/Natasha, Bullwinkle, and Boris in “Rocky/Bullwinkle Shows” 1959+ kept Bullwinkle in tears… of laughter…. Bullwinkle to Rocky- “Watch Me pull a rabbit outta my hat!” Are they friendly spirits? Rocky asks.

Such a sad day indeed and to think Palin has digested poor Bullwinkle too. His femurs as souvenirs for the conquerors or just as drumsticks for Sarah’s children’s preschool Eskimo drumming class.

But wait! Elvis was spotted as he pulled up in a muffler dragging, 8-track stereo blaring, “I’m All Shook Up”, rusty old Olds 98. He got out of the car, as the door, stuck at first, swung open from a loud lopsided single rusty hinge as he entered a 24-hour 7-Eleven at 3:07 AM in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada. The store clerk behind the cash register was non other than… Bullwinkle J. Moose. Well, er…we didn’t really see him exactly, just an antler shadows that’s all, but it was he, I know it! Ya see Elvis’ fat gut was blocking the view a bit as Bullwinkle bagged Elvis’ dozen boxes of Ding-Dongs, a 2-litre diet Pepsi an extra large Doritos bag and a Hostess Twinke.