Bullying - Holding on to my Balls

☆҉‿ The quote below reminded me of a time I stood up to a Bully. There are times when people get attacked and people around are reluctant to get involved, for fear of being physically hurt etc. but sometimes – you just have to follow your heart.

The Long Wait

It was over a ago, I was in a queue at a London Train Station waiting to buy a ticket. Two Ticket Assistants were available. One was attending to a customer and the other was having a light hearted chat with a man she must have known. It was obvious because we could over-hear the conversation) He was chatting away to her, not buying a ticket. We (in the queue) were beginning to feel impatient. I and the lady infront of me exchanged glances and shook our heads – We could miss out trains!

.

The Confrontation

The lady infront of me asked the man if he was going to buy a ticket and immediately, he got defensive. He started shouting at the young lady telling her, he was having a conversation. I recall him saying: “what is your business?” He then started to call her names, looking down on her, as if she was a little girl. He was about 5ft 10, in his 40s or 50s and strongly built. She was about 5ft, very petite – much younger than me, maybe mid 20s and I just couldn’t stand there watching this man insult her verbally.

So, I asked him calmly not to shout at her. I said there was no need for it.

Holding on to my Balls

He then turned on me. I didn’t back down and insisted he stopped shouting and stop the insults. My heart was beating so fast and I was feeling hot and shaky inside me – it was a very tense situation. Anything could have happened, but I stood my ground and tried to look calm on the outside. Fortunately, the other Ticket assistant became available and the young lady went over to buy her ticket. As she left, I told her to take it easy and not get upset about the situation, then I bought my ticket and went to catch my train....leaving him there, still rattling on.

Reflection

I’ve never done anything like that before, Maybe, it’s because I teach young people and the “Mother Hen” in me came out. I hope the man thinks twice, when next he decides to pick on someone younger than him.

Have you ever been in a similar situation?

Janet Jackson takes a Stand

More by this Author


23 comments

always exploring profile image

always exploring 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

I have never experienced this but i agree, the ticket worker was wrong to make people wait while she gabbed. The man was rude and needed to take a course in politeness.. More power to you Elena...


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

Bravo to you. I have been spared such situations.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean

I like the article--short enough for an easy read and long enough to convey the message. I also like the John Wayne quote. Thanks!


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

I suppose I am lucky. My upbringing demanded that we step in. My whole family from top to bottom is blessed. So it was pounded into us young that it meant nothin if we did not use it to help those less blessed. A victim of a bully is an Angel sent to test our mettle. If we think we have a choice but to intervene we are wrong. If you do not stand for anything you will fall for everything. Never ever throw the first punch but do your damnedest to throw the last.


bac2basics profile image

bac2basics 3 years ago from Spain

Hi Elena.

Being from Yorkshire and the age I am I have never been one to hold my tongue and stick up for the underdog when I feel it´s the right thing to do. However these days you just don´t know what you are taking on and I have been cautioned on this by my daughter and other younger people. personally I think that´s part of the problem these days in the UK, too many people are turning a blind eye and letting bullys and vandals get away with whatever they feel like doing. Maybe when I return to the UK I may have to learn to hold my tongue too for my own safety. Good for you for taking on this bully though, it takes guts to stand up to them and you did the right thing.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 3 years ago

Applause and hugs to you! It takes courage to stand up to a bully. I have been there! And as you wrote, you have to remain calm on the outside even when inside you are so afraid. Blessings.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

@AlwaysExploring - Thanks Ruby. I smiled at "more power to you". :-)

Have a lovely week.

@Mhatter - Lucky you. :-) Thanks for stopping.

@MsDora - Thanks. Always a pleasure to see you.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

@Eric - Aaawh.... I think that's how life should be and I'm sure many of us have been in situations where people stuck up for us and it made a difference. Thanks for bringing sunshine to my page again. :-)

@BacsBaiscs - Thanks. (I bet you are enjoying nice sunny weather where you are). I enjoyed reading your point. Sometimes, deep down, I think we have a feeling we can do something, but if it's a case wear weapons are involved , we would have to run for help instead of taking the bully on. I don't know if you heard of that lovely soldier Drummer Rigby Lee, who was just butchered in Woolwich weeks ago by 2 Muslim extremists. (same area where this train station is).

Some were too shocked to do anything, but 2 brave ladies came forward. One sat by him on the road while he lay dying and the other stood in defiance against the man holding the knife, preventing him from causing more havoc. Sorry to share that story but London has changed a lot. Good job you moved actually.

Take care. x


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

@Teaches12345

Thanks Diane. Nice to know you have been there too. It stays so vivid in the mind. Have a blessed week. :-)


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 3 years ago from United States

I am glad you stood up to him. One might wonder if there were no supervisors for this ticketing agents. Regardless, I have not had that experience, but I have had to stand up for myself. I remained calm on the outside and coherent, but was really nervous on the inside! I lke the John Wayne quote also.


Cagsil profile image

Cagsil 3 years ago from USA or America

Very nicely done. Well played and executed. I know the adrenaline can get going in situations like that. I was out one evening, by myself, at a bar. I began watching a situation ensue from a conversation a man was having with a woman. I couldn't hear what was being said due to the music playing so loud, but did recognize his body movement and facial features. As the conversation continues, he got physical by pushing her to the floor. I left the spot I was sitting in and approach. The man was about 6' - 6'4" in height and estimated 240+ in weight. He reached down to pull her up and raised his hand. I grabbed his hand and said you don't want to do that in this bar. He looked at me, like to say "yeah right". Seconds later, there were 3 other guys pulling him toward the exit. I asked the woman if she was alright and she said yes. I went back to where I was sitting. And believe me, it was the right thing to do. Congrats!


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 3 years ago

YES!!!! YOU GO LADY ELENA! i am so proud of you right now i could BUST!

Yes, anything could have happened - and something definitely did! Your balls are WAY bigger than his ever will be AND you also taught that young girl a little something about SYG as well!

A 2-fer, if you will..

Sad to think that these boys are BORN with a pair and can't find em with both hands on em', eh?

(lol)

sharing!


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 3 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

Ok, you asked for it! Have I got a story for you! I own a shop in a small city outside of my hometown. Like most cities we have our fair share of vagrants and loiterers. One particular day I went to a local drug store near my shop, as usual there were a couple of men pan-handeling out front. I walked past them and entered the store. Soon after a man came in behind me and starting yelling profanities at the young girl working the register. He was clearly upset about the loiters approaching him for spare change and demanding the manager chase them away. The poor girl just stared at him in shock as he trailed off to find a manager, all the while cussing loudly. After a few minutes of his non stop vulgar rant, he stood behind me in the check-out line, still fuming and muttering profanities, I'd had enough. I turned to him and said " We get it, your upset, but please enough with the profanities." He of course asked me to mind my own business to which I replied, " It is my business when I'm the one along with many others who has to listen to your cussing like a sailor! So Please stop! Fortunately for me and the young worker, he apologized, several times then asked me out for a drink, which I politely declined! A couple of days later I returned to the same store, as soon as I walked in I was greeted by the same young girl who was on the receiving end of the vulgar customer, she thanked me for coming to her defense. I have to say it felt good, I have never been the type to put up with someone else's bad behavior especially when it is totally un-called for! So nice job to a fellow defender of bullies!


Made profile image

Made 3 years ago from Finland

You did a great job being a "Mother Hen"! I have not been in a similar situation and I don't know how I would react.


James-wolve profile image

James-wolve 3 years ago from Morocco

Good job! That was a kind of heroism .From time to time,I get in situation like that hahaha lol


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

@Pamela Aaaawh.... good on you. It can be daunting when you're on your own. Thanks for sharing your experience. Take care.

@Cagsil - Thanks Cagsil and well done to you too. I'm not sure I would have been able to hold his hand. lol. Oh.... Bravo. On a serious note, who knows what could have happened if you weren't there. I'm glad more guys came to give you a hand and you checked she was okay.

Lovely share. Thumbs up. :-)


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

@ImKarn - Hi Leslie, thanks for your kind words, but I can't stop laughing. Oh... you have a wikid (good) way with words. I'm sure you'd do the same too. Still laughing. Thanks. :-)

@Wildove - Oh... I'm laughing again. He asked you out for a drink? It's nice that you asked him politely to stop, maybe that's why he stopped. Amazing story. Thanks for sharing it.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

@Made - Lol. It's not a situation you pray to be in. Also, you noted you wouldn't know how to react. In such situations, the heart tends to move faster than the brain. You don't have time to think it out.

Thanks for stopping.

@James Wolve - "From time to time." Wow... you brave guy. Lovely to hear from you. Hope all is well where you are. :-)


old albion profile image

old albion 3 years ago from Lancashire. England.

Hi Elena. So well done indeed. This wretch of a man was tough to both of you, it's probable that had you had a man with you there would not have been an altercation in the first place. Unfortunately this lout got away with it this time.

voted up and all.

Graham.


Damien 3 years ago

Hello! Coping with bullying requires some emotional stamina and courage. Though it may sound surprising but it is quite possible to train yourself in order to be more courageous

http://www.askwiki.net/How-to-Overcome-Fear

Psychological help may also become a great way to become a stronger person http://www.bullying.co.uk/ .


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

@OldAbion - Thanks Graham.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 3 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Good for you standing up to him, I have been in a situation like this where a restaurant fired a waitress on her first night right in front of us at the pay desk. He was rude, abusive and demeaning. We made sure that the other diners heard exactly what we thought of his behaviour. We never went back there again and word gets around pretty quickly in a small town.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

@Damien Thanks for sharing.

@Rosemay - Aaawh... I hope by now she has found an awesome Job. No matter what profession people do, they deserve respect. Thanks for stopping.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working