Democrat Economics; how it works
Following her November defeat Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi decides to open a bar in San Francisco. Given the fact the country is just beginning to recover from the past two years of economic destruction caused by her party she realizes that virtually all of her potential customers are now unemployed alcoholics and, as such, cannot afford to patronize her bar. So pulling out her Keynesian Economics 101 text book; the same one used by President Hussein Obama in his attempt to solve the country’s economic problems, she develops her marketing strategy. She plans to allow her customers to drink now, but pay later.
Thus, she grants the customers loans in the form of drinks; carefully logging each in a ledger alongside the customer’s name. As you would guess the word that Pelosi is offering free drinks spreads fast. All of her former constituents, who are used to something for nothing flock to her bar and soon the bar tabs begin to mount. In no time she has the largest sales volume for any bar in San Francisco!
Since Madam Pelosi’s customers aren’t actually paying for the drinks but are merely amassing huge debts she gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages. As Pelosi’s gross sales volume increases massively, former Fannie Mae CEO William Raines recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and works with the local bank to increase her borrowing limit. He convinces the local bank executives that there’s no reason for any undue concern, since she has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral.
Raines then turns to his pals, Senator Chris Dodd along with House Financial Services Chairman Barney Frank to pressure Wall Street Executives to transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS. Dodd and Frank convince the Wall Street Executives that they can bundle these securities and trade them on international security markets.
Just as was the case with the housing market collapse, naive investors again don’t really understand that the securities being sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb, and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.
Since the defeat of Pelosi, Reid and eventually Obama, the country has gotten increasingly tough on foreign dictatorships, one of which is China who owns most of the debt ran up under the Obama Regime. Even though the bond prices are still climbing, China decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Pelosi’s Place.
Pelosi in turn demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but having had their lives ruined under the Obama Regime and now being nothing more than unemployed alcoholics they cannot pay back their drinking debts. Thus, Pelosi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and she is forced into bankruptcy resulting in the bar closing and eleven employees losing their jobs.
These days you can find Pelosi’s former patrons hanging out at the local Acorn Office!