Easy Ways For You to Know That You Are Driving a "Bomb"

This photo makes me sad
This photo makes me sad | Source

Sadness on four wheels

God bless their hearts. I mean it. I am sadly referring to everyone now and in the recent past who are driving and have driven a "bomb." All automotive-minded people know exactly what I mean by this term, "bomb." If you have ever driven a car or truck that you knew was not fit even for the best automotive salvage yard, then you fully-aware of the definition of a "bomb."

"Bombs," can be a dangerous traffic hazard
"Bombs," can be a dangerous traffic hazard | Source

Images of more "bombs"

An entire parking lot of "bombs"
An entire parking lot of "bombs" | Source
Is this "you" and your friends riding in your  "bomb?"
Is this "you" and your friends riding in your "bomb?" | Source

Going a bit further

This is to the newcomers to my hubs. I am always publishing these self-help, free educational hubs to not only save you hard-earned money in light of our tough economy and also help you to save face when it pertains to facing your family and friends when you are "ripped off" by a slick-talking used car salesman who unloaded the "bomb" on you yesterday morning.

This shyster even told you if you had "any" problems with your "fine" automobile, to just call him and he would take care of it. Well, you had a minor problem when you arrived home feeling so good at making such a great deal on your "fine" car. The engine would not stop running when the ignition key was turned to the "off" position.

You did not panic. But quickly remembered what "Dick S. Hyster," the slicker car salesman told you about calling him at the first sign of trouble, so you called him. And called him. No answer. You had your next door neighbor to give you a lift to go by the car lot to tell "Dick" what had happened, but upon your arrival, all of the other really good looking cars were gone and the office was deserted and the phone was unplugged from the wall laying in the floor.

You are so ashamed of the "bomb," you drive, you park behind the office where you work
You are so ashamed of the "bomb," you drive, you park behind the office where you work | Source

But you are not a troublemaker

Rather than spend the priceless commodities of time and money to chase "Dick S. Hyster" down and hopefully get your money back, you swallow your pride and drive the car without one complaint. No wonder that you are the winner of "The Best Overall Neighbor" in your neighborhood.

Don't you wish you had read this piece that I call . . .

Easy Ways For You to Know That You Are Driving a "Bomb"

This video is dedicated to those who drive "bombs"

A "hot deal" of a "bomb"
A "hot deal" of a "bomb" | Source
Abandoned truck in  Palouse County, Washington State
Abandoned truck in Palouse County, Washington State | Source
Did your car come from a place like this?
Did your car come from a place like this? | Source
Your "bomb" smokes so much, that the police use it to create a smoke screen for the S.W.A.T. Team
Your "bomb" smokes so much, that the police use it to create a smoke screen for the S.W.A.T. Team | Source
Yes, this is your "pride and joy"
Yes, this is your "pride and joy" | Source
This is the new line of "trucks" for "bomb" owners to buy or get in a trade
This is the new line of "trucks" for "bomb" owners to buy or get in a trade | Source
"Cute" is not the word for this "bomb"
"Cute" is not the word for this "bomb" | Source
And you wonder why you never get dates?
And you wonder why you never get dates? | Source
This is a daily occurrence for you
This is a daily occurrence for you | Source
This heavy-duty, "bomb" is costing you about $1,200.00 a week for gas and oil
This heavy-duty, "bomb" is costing you about $1,200.00 a week for gas and oil | Source
If this is you trying to impress a pretty girl, then you are driving a "bomb"
If this is you trying to impress a pretty girl, then you are driving a "bomb" | Source
Because you drive this "bomb," you are given the popular nick-name of "Sucker"
Because you drive this "bomb," you are given the popular nick-name of "Sucker" | Source

There Are Huge - - puddles of motor oil and transmission fluid in your carport that came from your car. Now an occasional spot is normal, but there is so much oil and transmission fluid in these puddles, you scoop it up and put it back in your "bomb."

Unwanted Attention - - comes your way by coworkers, family members and friends. This unwanted attention comes in the forms of fingers pointing at you in your car as you drive by; hands covering mouths; loud, booming laughter when you arrive at work or church. If one or all of the things in this tip have happened to you, you are the proud owner of a "bomb."

Martial Problems - - hit you and your wife due to her ripping her new dress on the passenger side of the front seat. A metal spring came through the thin fabric on the seat without her knowing it and when you pulled up at your favorite restaurant, she got out and left a huge chuck of her dress behind. Needless to say she told you what she thought of you and your lack of automotive saavy for buying this "bomb," but she used the derogatory term: "Rattle trap."

Your Children - - "Margie" and "Dennis" ages, seven and nine, start bellowing each time you mention taking them to school in the family "bomb," I mean car.

Neighborhood Vandals - - are so sorry for you getting "stuck" with this "bomb" of a car, they never write ugly words on the sides. They just stand and have moments of silence when they walk by your car.

Instant Laughter - - you hear from the car dealer during your weekly call to inform them of trouble with the car you bought from them. The sales manager even insists that you come down to the dealership in person and tell him and his staff all of the problems (so far) you have had with this "bomb," so they can all have a bit of comedy relief.

The Local Therapist - - calls you at work or home at least twice a week to make sure that you are not in need of his services due to the mental strain caused by losing so much money on the "bomb" sitting in your carport.

Harsh Joking - - by "Jimmy," the high school senior working at the local gas station when you pull in for a fill-up. One harsh thing he said about your car was, "Mr. Buckner, may I suggest just allowing me to pour gasoline all over this 'heap' then settting fire to it?"

Your Pastor - - tries to not include you and your gullibility (at getting "stuck" with your "bomb") each Sunday in his sermons. You always know that he is talking about you when he comes across, "blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."

Your Church - - feels pity for you and your poor excuse for an automobile and makes up a generous monetary gift for you to make a down payment on a "real" car as Deacon "Willaby" said in gest.

The Rats - - you once seen around the edge of the yard are all laying deceased from trying to sneak inside your car. Must have been something in the upholstery that they ate.

Wild Animals - - raccoons, opossums, and the like have nothing to fear as they now take their time crossing the road in front of you because your "bomb" is so slow their lives are not in harm's way.

When You Fire Up - - the engine in your "bomb," sorry. I keep saying that. In your car, the engine rattles so much, neighbors call to complain to the cops for someone making annoying noises.

The Jack - - in the trunk used to hold the car up while changing a flat tire is just an Oak stick that you have to force underneath the car. That is if the nest of Copperhead's will allow you to reach over them to get the stick.

The Air Filter - - in the breather over the engine is a few Brawny towels stuck together to fill up the space in the breather.

The Motor Oil - - from your engine is so worn out that an employee from a paving company wanted to buy a few gallons from you to finish paving the road that goes by your house.

A Hitch-Hiker - - you stopped to offer a ride fell down laughing at the sight of your car. Feeling humiliated, you drove off in a cloud of smoke.

Smoke - - from the car's engine is so thick inside the passenger area, you are stopped several times by the local cops who suspect you are smoking "weed.'

The Local - - Cherokee Indian Nation representative misinterprets smoke belching out of your rear windows one afternoon and files an injunction against you to keep your car (banned from area highways) that generates demeaning phrases against American Indians to be seen in the air by everyone you pass.

Washing - - your car (see? I didn't say "bomb") at the local carwash is a dilemma in itself. The last time you went there to clean up your car, the entire back glass fell out along with the back left side door.

The Truck Seen - - on "The Beverly Hillbillies," looks like a brand-new Rolls Royce compared to your "bomb."

Oops. Old habits die hard.

"Bombs" are not respecter of age

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Comments 4 comments

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 7 months ago

That is hilarious. How did you know about my son's truck? I especially enjoyed the smoke signal complaint from the Cherokees.

I think I drove my share of bombs when I was younger. My ex-husband once passed down to me his old Chevy station wagon that was on its third engine. It looked like crap but ran good, trouble was, the transmission would hang up in 2nd gear. Then I had to get out and ply it loose with a tire tool. I was never so glad to see a car traded in.


lupine profile image

lupine 6 months ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, you're so right! Those who drive bombs sometimes don't know it... I have a neighbor who's had at least five bombs in the last year. They're always breaking down in the street, smoking a lot, noisy, and dying, he's recently lost three cars that were towed/impounded because he left them on the street. What's this person thinking? This hub is a true story... no fiction here. Sad, but true.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 6 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

MizBejabbers,

As always, a pleasure for ME to read your comments. And what a great novel of survival mixed with true adventure you have had over the course of your life.

If a movie is ever made about your life, I would cast Brett Butler, "Grace Under Fire," to play you.

Am I right? Or am I right?

Thanks again for your sweet comment.

Write me anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 6 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear, Sweet lupine,

Sounds to me like you had a real-life sitcom in your front yard with that non-caring "bomb-driving man."

Some people just do not think of our atmosphere, water, or land.

This is the truth as it is told.

Thank you for your sweet comment and you can write me anytime.

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