Easy Ways For You to Know That You Are Driving a "Bomb"
Sadness on four wheels
God bless their hearts. I mean it. I am sadly referring to everyone now and in the recent past who are driving and have driven a "bomb." All automotive-minded people know exactly what I mean by this term, "bomb." If you have ever driven a car or truck that you knew was not fit even for the best automotive salvage yard, then you fully-aware of the definition of a "bomb."
Images of more "bombs"
Going a bit further
This is to the newcomers to my hubs. I am always publishing these self-help, free educational hubs to not only save you hard-earned money in light of our tough economy and also help you to save face when it pertains to facing your family and friends when you are "ripped off" by a slick-talking used car salesman who unloaded the "bomb" on you yesterday morning.
This shyster even told you if you had "any" problems with your "fine" automobile, to just call him and he would take care of it. Well, you had a minor problem when you arrived home feeling so good at making such a great deal on your "fine" car. The engine would not stop running when the ignition key was turned to the "off" position.
You did not panic. But quickly remembered what "Dick S. Hyster," the slicker car salesman told you about calling him at the first sign of trouble, so you called him. And called him. No answer. You had your next door neighbor to give you a lift to go by the car lot to tell "Dick" what had happened, but upon your arrival, all of the other really good looking cars were gone and the office was deserted and the phone was unplugged from the wall laying in the floor.
But you are not a troublemaker
Rather than spend the priceless commodities of time and money to chase "Dick S. Hyster" down and hopefully get your money back, you swallow your pride and drive the car without one complaint. No wonder that you are the winner of "The Best Overall Neighbor" in your neighborhood.
Don't you wish you had read this piece that I call . . .
Easy Ways For You to Know That You Are Driving a "Bomb"
This video is dedicated to those who drive "bombs"
There Are Huge - - puddles of motor oil and transmission fluid in your carport that came from your car. Now an occasional spot is normal, but there is so much oil and transmission fluid in these puddles, you scoop it up and put it back in your "bomb."
Unwanted Attention - - comes your way by coworkers, family members and friends. This unwanted attention comes in the forms of fingers pointing at you in your car as you drive by; hands covering mouths; loud, booming laughter when you arrive at work or church. If one or all of the things in this tip have happened to you, you are the proud owner of a "bomb."
Martial Problems - - hit you and your wife due to her ripping her new dress on the passenger side of the front seat. A metal spring came through the thin fabric on the seat without her knowing it and when you pulled up at your favorite restaurant, she got out and left a huge chuck of her dress behind. Needless to say she told you what she thought of you and your lack of automotive saavy for buying this "bomb," but she used the derogatory term: "Rattle trap."
Your Children - - "Margie" and "Dennis" ages, seven and nine, start bellowing each time you mention taking them to school in the family "bomb," I mean car.
Neighborhood Vandals - - are so sorry for you getting "stuck" with this "bomb" of a car, they never write ugly words on the sides. They just stand and have moments of silence when they walk by your car.
Instant Laughter - - you hear from the car dealer during your weekly call to inform them of trouble with the car you bought from them. The sales manager even insists that you come down to the dealership in person and tell him and his staff all of the problems (so far) you have had with this "bomb," so they can all have a bit of comedy relief.
The Local Therapist - - calls you at work or home at least twice a week to make sure that you are not in need of his services due to the mental strain caused by losing so much money on the "bomb" sitting in your carport.
Harsh Joking - - by "Jimmy," the high school senior working at the local gas station when you pull in for a fill-up. One harsh thing he said about your car was, "Mr. Buckner, may I suggest just allowing me to pour gasoline all over this 'heap' then settting fire to it?"
Your Pastor - - tries to not include you and your gullibility (at getting "stuck" with your "bomb") each Sunday in his sermons. You always know that he is talking about you when he comes across, "blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."
Your Church - - feels pity for you and your poor excuse for an automobile and makes up a generous monetary gift for you to make a down payment on a "real" car as Deacon "Willaby" said in gest.
The Rats - - you once seen around the edge of the yard are all laying deceased from trying to sneak inside your car. Must have been something in the upholstery that they ate.
Wild Animals - - raccoons, opossums, and the like have nothing to fear as they now take their time crossing the road in front of you because your "bomb" is so slow their lives are not in harm's way.
When You Fire Up - - the engine in your "bomb," sorry. I keep saying that. In your car, the engine rattles so much, neighbors call to complain to the cops for someone making annoying noises.
The Jack - - in the trunk used to hold the car up while changing a flat tire is just an Oak stick that you have to force underneath the car. That is if the nest of Copperhead's will allow you to reach over them to get the stick.
The Air Filter - - in the breather over the engine is a few Brawny towels stuck together to fill up the space in the breather.
The Motor Oil - - from your engine is so worn out that an employee from a paving company wanted to buy a few gallons from you to finish paving the road that goes by your house.
A Hitch-Hiker - - you stopped to offer a ride fell down laughing at the sight of your car. Feeling humiliated, you drove off in a cloud of smoke.
Smoke - - from the car's engine is so thick inside the passenger area, you are stopped several times by the local cops who suspect you are smoking "weed.'
The Local - - Cherokee Indian Nation representative misinterprets smoke belching out of your rear windows one afternoon and files an injunction against you to keep your car (banned from area highways) that generates demeaning phrases against American Indians to be seen in the air by everyone you pass.
Washing - - your car (see? I didn't say "bomb") at the local carwash is a dilemma in itself. The last time you went there to clean up your car, the entire back glass fell out along with the back left side door.
The Truck Seen - - on "The Beverly Hillbillies," looks like a brand-new Rolls Royce compared to your "bomb."
Oops. Old habits die hard.
"Bombs" are not respecter of age
More by this Author
Some situations in life seemingly to me, just hang around for years. But I appeal to your sense of compassion by asking for your help with a few things that are still bothering me.
This piece is dedicated to all dare-devils. I hope that none of you try these things for I hear that being on foot on the highway at night is not a good place to be.
I am NOT a Scrooge. Just upfront.