Easy Ways for You to Become a Master Housefly-Assassin
This is the result you are after
To the Tibetan Buddhists who teach The First Precept in the Pali Canon--According to Theravadin teacher Bikkhu Bodhi, the word pana refers to breathing, or any living being that has breath and consciousness. This includes people and all animal life, including insects, but not include plant life. Bottom line: You teach killing of any living thing is wrong.
This piece will hurt your sensitive-feelings for I know that you do not go for killing any living thing no matter how big, how small, or how filthy or dangerous they are to our lives. And I respect that belief although I do not agree with all of what you believe.
Show that pesky fly this sign with your new ways to eliminate them from your life
This menace carries dangerous bacteria and germs
Don't let houseflies do this to you
What "I" believe
For instance. You teach that if we are bitten by a poisonous snake, it was permitted by Buddha, and we possibly deserved that snake bite and the untimely-death that follows. This is what tangles my thinking. Plus your doctrine doesn’t hold true when cancer cells are involved. You teach the same about cancer cells as you do the poison snake that bit us. We humans are not permitted to kill any living thing—plant, animal, cancer, or other humans.
Whatever works for you is all I can say. But if I see a poisonous snake lurking in the weeds about to strike at a family member or dear friend, I will, without malice or remorse, take the reptile’s life in a heartbeat. The God I know and serve, Jehovah God, teaches, “we” (mankind) are to subdue the earth and all animals are under our dominion,” that does include poison snakes. And Jesus, God Jehovah’s son taught while on earth, “It is better to preserve life than to take it,” which applies to productive-life, not turning a blind-eye to cancer cells which are living things that take innocent lives.
I thought of your teachings this very week, Tibetan Buddhists, when I was in my kitchen making myself something to eat, which none of the things I ate were living, so I am good in that way of thinking. I was aggravated by this one housefly that kept buzzing my food and that is one thing that makes me irate, so I tried my best to “take it out of the equation of life,” but failed.
Flies can create friction between you and your wife
Elimination of flies has been around for years
Back when I was stupid
Now in my time when I was younger and faster, I was a pretty-sharp hand at killing flies no matter the species—house flies, green flies, blow flies, horse flies and some time flies along the way. I didn’t like killing these complex insects, but it was either them or my sanity.
Some people waste a lot of time and energy trying to assassinate flies because they try to assassinate the speedy-insects, which by the way, carry dangerous germs and bacteria, that can lead to a serious illness or even death if we allow them to enter our bloodstream.
There is a right way and a wrong way to most all things in life. This principle also applies to killing flies. And yes, Tibetan Buddists, (you will like this), some ways are very humane. All in all, I think that killing flies is a personal choice that each of us must make when faced with other dangerous insects such as Black Widow spiders, scorpions, and mosquitoes that carry various diseases.
Kids, do not make friends with this "Filthy insect"
Sure we can stand still and let these vicious insects bite us and spread sickness and disease like a fertilizer-spreader that many commercial farmers use. Or we can be sensible and “be the smarter creation,” by prolonging our lives or the lives of our family and friends by just eliminating these pests.
This story is entitled, “Ways For You to Become a Master Housefly Assassin,” and it is of a serious nature. I want people who up until now, have tried the old, conventional manners of killing flies and failed, to read my story carefully and adapt some of these easy tips and use them the next time they are challenged by a housefly who thinks it is far more superior than a human being.
I say to you, about my new fly-killing methods
Conventional methods of fly-killing--some are ignorant, some dangerous
Now don't you feel
With my methods, this will be "easy as drinking water" to you
Preface: I used to be one of the people who tried to kill flies by running wild smacking my furniture, photos, and the air itself trying my best to kill an annoying fly who was making him or herself at home. Man, did I look foolish. So what I am about to pass along is based on “my” own experiences in the field of insect elimination. (Kenneth).
DO NOT REACT – to houseflies like they are King Cobra’s. They are carriers of diseases and filthy germs, but they cannot administer a lethal dose of venom that can kill you in seven seconds as in the documented truths about King Cobra’s bite to the Bull Elephant. I suggest you first, sit down and think carefully and methodically about your adversary the housefly. The fly wants you to make a fool of yourself and take swings at it with rolled-up Sports Illustrated magazines, but if you react intelligently, you can overcome even the peskiest of houseflies.
ACT AS IF – the housefly is not even there to make your life miserable. Talk, even though you are alone. The fly is not that smart and will think that you think it is not flying around showing its nasty butt infecting your Cheez-It’s as it had a right to devour “your” food. Simply watch the fly out with your peripheral vision and with the flexible fly swatter held out of sight, walk slowly to where the fly has landed to get a rest then stand perfectly-still and with one quick smack, you succeed.
APPLY DELICIOUS – chicken skin to the palms of your hands. Flies love raw chicken. Keep your hands relaxed and open. Give the fly time to land to get a quick bite. Then clap your hands together as fast as possible. Odds are, you have killed another annoying insect. (Suggestion: Preferably, do this one when no one is home but you. Otherwise you will be considered an idiot).
RUB GRAPE JELLY – just a small amount, on a rubber fly swatter. Let “Mr. Housefly,” get carried-away enjoying his “sugar rush,” then smack the swatter against your marble or hardwood floor. At least the fly will leave this world on a full-stomach.
CARDBOARD ROLLS THAT HELD PAPER TOWELS – make excellent traps for unassuming houseflies. Put some nice-smelling food substance inside the roll, keep a good watch on the roll laying parallel to the kitchen counter and when the stupid fly ventures inside, simply cover each end with your hands and if you are into what the Tibetan Buddists teach, you can release the housefly outside to annoy someone else.
SODA IN THE BOTTOM – of a jar will work good as a “Fly Motel.” Houseflies love soda that is left out and turning to pure sugar. Put about a quarter-inch in the bottom of a mayonnaise jar and when the fly walks down the inside to get a quick swig, cap it quickly with the lid and bam! You have rid the world of another nuisance.
A MINIATURE BATTERY-POWERED FAN – you can hold in your hand may not kill the fly, but you will wear him out with those unpredictable air currents you will make with the fan. When he lands for a breather, simply walk over and “hit him out of the park,” with a thin piece of balsa wood.
Note: This last tip is not for everyone, just those of a bold nature and a “Don’t Care What People Think of Me” attitude.
Flies love to hang-out with other flies. So I would say that the ultimate in ways to kill flies is to design yourself a fly suit that will fit you to a “tee.” Smear sugary-substances on your hands and arms and when the one or several flies in your house see (with their thousands of eyes) another fly getting all of the treats (you will have to act like you are licking your hands, errrr, front legs), they will flock to land on you. And yes, when they are engrossed with the tasty sugary substances, “It’s Hammer Time.”
Note: flypaper, strips and sprays can be dangerous to you and your family due to the chemicals that are used to manufacture them, so with my easy ways to kill flies, you can help the Ozone layer, our water, air, and the life of yourself and your family.
Coming soon . . .”How to Make Friends in The Big City.”
Ladies, this will be you in your own "fly-free" home if you use my methods
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