Exploring My Strange Appreciation for Haunted Houses

A haunted mansion in Atlanta, GA.
A haunted mansion in Atlanta, GA.
A lovely haunted mansion.
A lovely haunted mansion.

Okay. What is 'haunted?"

Simple. It is where a dwelling is shared by both spiritual and mortal beings. Sometimes the co-existence is far from peaceful when the spiritual, or ghosts, as we humans call them, are fed-up with humans taking-over their space that they have occupied for hundreds of years.

I would feel the same if I were an apparition. Face it. It takes a lot of hard, tough work to take-over a lavish home and then drive-out a family or non-caring slobs who do not love the home in the same way as I do. Do you blame me for feeling this way?

No solicitations. I mean it.
No solicitations. I mean it.

Now or later?

I wager that you are now wondering if I mean that I appreciate haunted houses now as a man or when I become a spirit one day? I can answer that in one beat. Now. And truthfully, it is something that is tough to explain, much less talk about at parties for fear that I will be considered an idiot.

I look at the "haunted" part of a haunted house in this way: Most hauntings are the result of a living person or persons being abused or even murdered when they were mortal, so when other flesh and blood humans move into the same house as the abused spirits, these mortals are going to "pay the price" although they aren't the guilty parties who caused the haunting spirits so much grief.

One of my favorite haunted house fixtures is the reliable skeleton.
One of my favorite haunted house fixtures is the reliable skeleton.
And yes, I would want a pretty blond who is scared so I could calm her down.
And yes, I would want a pretty blond who is scared so I could calm her down.
This sends chills up my spine.
This sends chills up my spine.
A great-looking haunted mansion on the hill.
A great-looking haunted mansion on the hill.
I better not let this pretty girl get scared.
I better not let this pretty girl get scared.
A cool skeleton for a friend.
A cool skeleton for a friend.

I have learned

that right about here in most of my pieces, you are growing impatient and hoping that I will get on with the "meat" of my hub. I get it. You have lives to live. And I dig that. So I will tell you flat out that I am not borderline-insane for loving haunted houses. Nor did my mother drop me on my head when I was a baby. It's maybe because I watched a lot of my favorite Hollywood evil villain's works as I grew up, Vincent Price who was so talented that he could play a villain in his sleep. I loved him as "Dr. Phibes."

And so now we get to look together and

Explore My Strange Appreciation for Haunted Houses

  • Peace. No nosy neighbors to bother me, salesmen, or religious recruiters to tell me that I need to be with them or burn in eternity.
  • Complete freedom to nap, work quietly on hubs or just sit and talk to the various spirits who live with me in the haunted abode.
  • I love the vintage architecture of these vintage mansions and how they were designed. I would not change one tile on the roof.
  • If I did not want to do anything during the day, I wouldn't have to. Even the local police fear having to go into one of these places. But with me, they won't have to try to arrest me for when I get inside my haunted house, I intend on living a peaceful existence.
  • Wild animals or aggravating dogs without leashes will kneel in fear when my friends, the spirits, growl at them.
  • In time, hopefully I can learn what kind of lives the spirits lived while in their mortal bodies. Some were probably doctors, scientists or even writers for HubPages. Wouldn't that be great?
  • Maybe if I treat my spirit friends with respect, they will teach me how to be a feared and respected spirit.
  • I would love to sit on top of my, oops, I mean "our' haunted mansion and toss empty soda cups down on passersby and even a quarter or two to see their reactions.
  • I love to search through an old house to see what historical-memories I can find. With "our' haunted mansion I can do the same, but take my sweet time and not get in any hurry.
  • Then sometimes, if one of my spirit friends lived as a professional nightclub singer, I can stand in front of "our" mansion and lip sync as he sings those old standards of the 1940s, but when appreciative people try to come near me to talk about my, I mean "our" singing, I disappear as fast as I appeared.
  • My spirit friends would be able to teach me how to go back in time and see the mistakes I made while in human life.
  • I would finally have the super-thin body that I have dreamed of having for years, for spiritual beings do not have a need to eat.
  • On Saturday or maybe Friday nights, my spirit friends and I could have a "Spirit Shindig" and let them sing and dance so I could learn their styles. After all, they were in "our" mansion first.

But I do have ONE worry. ONE worry. That's all. Just what if my spirit friends get weary of ME and tell me to leave?

Where will I go?

Everyone sing along.

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Comments 12 comments

Pollyanna Jones profile image

Pollyanna Jones 20 months ago from United Kingdom

I love places that have a story, and those of hauntings are often very interesting as they reveal a lot about the dramatic history of the place. Not sure I'd want to live in a haunted house though! ;-)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 20 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Pollyanna Jones,

I do too. But I have always wanted to explore the vintage house places around my hometown in rural northwest Alabama.

I keep telling my friends that in the days that these old houses were built, they had cracks in the floors and with big families came lots of kids who got into mama's jewelry and money and some had to get through the cracks, so with a good metal detector and a day's work, we could be a little more wealthier.

I dream of finding a rare coin and selling it to help my church and getting all of my debts paid.

Polly, you have a nice night or day.


Kristen Howe profile image

Kristen Howe 20 months ago from Northeast Ohio

Kenneth, this was an interesting hub on your appreciation of haunted houses. Great read, too. Voted up for interesting!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 20 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Kristen,

You are a good soul for saying such a nice thing to me.

I wish everyone in the world were as nice as you.

Have a nice evening and visit with me again.


Kristen Howe profile image

Kristen Howe 20 months ago from Northeast Ohio

You're very welcome Kenneth. Thanks for the kind words. You too!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 20 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Kristen,

I meant every word.

I do appreciate you so much. I have had a tough, depressing, emotionally-spiraling day. A lot of things are happening too much and too fast. Ever feel like that?

Do keep in touch. And God bless you my dear friend.


Kristen Howe profile image

Kristen Howe 20 months ago from Northeast Ohio

Aww thanks Kenneth. Sorry to hear about your bad day. I'll keep in touch. Yes I have in the past.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 20 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Kristen,

Thank you, dear friend, for your kind support. I look forward to hearing back from you.


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 18 months ago from Stillwater, OK

I'd live in a haunted house in a heartbeat. I'd never want for a story, would I?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

aviannovice,

Nope. You got me there.

I would not. I choose to leave such dark areas to themselves.

May I tell you that you are a very interesting person?


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 18 months ago from Stillwater, OK

I have my ways about me, Kenneth, I am told. Lots of diverse interests...


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

aviannovice,

I like that. When I was younger, I was told something similar. But if you were in a haunted house, I would be honored to have coffee with you for I know you would not hurt me--and you could negotiate with your spirit pals to leave me alone.

Deal?

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