Honestly, Would You Laugh at me if I Did These Things in Your Town?
Time for Fun
Ever get in one of those wild moods when everything that runs through your mind seems like it would be so much fun to do? Well, I hate to sound harsh, if you haven't, then you are not flesh and blood, for all of us, no matter the age, gets in this mood one time or the other.
The mood I am spotlighting is all of the fun things you and I could do in any small town in America and although we would be looked at and laughed at like two escaped apes from the zoo, we would probably be allowed to remain free and not serve any jail time simply for what things we have done are not in any way, a harm or dangerous threat to anyone.
Oh The Fun we Could Have
The wild and unusual things you and I can do in small towns require no special equipment or uniforms. The only two things we need are faith and a non-caring attitude for when the citizens of these small towns congregate together in one spot and whisper about "the two fools running wild" in their city. Remember the old adage, "Sticks and stones may break our bones, but do not throw any sticks and stones."
I am not kidding like I normally do on my hubs. I am totally-serious with you. I would sincerely love to have one or two of my cherished-followers meet me in a small town of their choosing and take this list with us and just see how far we could go. Yes, we would have a videographer to document our wild antics for proof that we actually did these outlandish things.
Jerry Lewis makes the scene
Suddenly, You Leave Me
Then, because of you fearing legal action and loss of position in the community, you bail on me leaving me to do some or all of the things in this list . . .but I need to ask you one question?
Honestly, Would You Laugh at Me if I Did These Things In Your Town?
Other Special Images of Small Town Life
- Walk confidently up to a pretty girl walking to her job or somewhere and town and dance like Jerry Lewis (in the video above) and even be dressed like Lewis and be made-up like Lewis.
- Run fast as possible up the sidewalk in a Batman costume screaming, "I am not Alfred Hitchcock!"
- Walking up to complete (and incomplete) strangers, wink at them, and look upward for ten minutes.
- Show-up in a Bugs Bunny costume and yell to the cops, "What's up, cops?" And run away to hide.
- Get my guitar and sit flat on my butt on the sidewalk and sing "El Paso" by Marty Robbins loud as possible.
- Throw light bulbs into he air and let them hit me on the head causing them to burst all over the sidewalk.
- Grab pretty married women by the arm and escort them in a gentlemanly manner to wherever they might be going. Then bow from the waist, produce a single red rose (from my back pocket) and hand it to them and smile.
- Intentionally run into every parking meter (if they exist in this town) and land on the sidewalk.
- Run through the front doors of the local grocery store and yell, "Attention! They are here! Take cover!" Then leave.
- Walk slowly down the sidewalk minding my business and suddenly snap to the next person I meet, "Hey, you keep your hands to yourself. You masher!"
- Find someone with a single bag of groceries then walk beside them and eat something from their bags.
- Have a serious look on my face and ask a married woman, "Are you sure that you are married?"
- I can be wearing a Charlie Chaplin tramp costume and then ask some pretty girl, "I know we have just met, but would you have dinner with me?"
- Run behind a police cruiser and then jump on the back and wave my hand to people watching me. Introduce myself to everyone by saying, "Hello, sir/ma'am. My name is Jerry Van Dyke. Dicks brother. I will be in concert tonight at your local civic center."
- Have a lemon cream pie in my hand and lure an innocent stranger to come near me. I say, "watch this," and act like I am going to put the pie into my own face, but at the last second, quickly smash them with the pie and then run like the wind and hide.
- Rub dirt all over my face, including my teeth, and with a straight face, say to a stranger, "I am not from around here."
- Make myself a flashy poster that says, "I Do Pig Sounds!" And put a tin cup on the sidewalk for tips. Then as curious townspeople walk up, go into a series of squeals, grunts and rolls on the sidewalk.
SPECIAL NOTICE TO THOSE READING THIS PIECE: Consider this a heads-up. I will be coming to YOUR town real soon.
This is where I live--Hamilton, Ala.
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