How To Be Important on a Shoestring Budget
So you want to be important? Who doesn't? I truly believe that this one desire finds safe harbor in almost every human being at birth. Just to rise above your own surroundings and be "the" center of attention at every location you frequent, be called by famous people to ask your opinon on big decisions and be tracked down daily by hordes of gorgeous women who prior to you reaching a level of importance would give you an apple if you were starving.
" . . .and the hits just keep on coming."
I'm not innocent
Of this craving to be important. Even at my age now of 62 years old. "This" feeling now at this stage of my life is not as burning as it was when I was able to secure the tools to hopefully reach a position of importance, but now I am too old and my body and mind are taxed daily with physical, emotional and financial stress that no one important I read about or see on the evening news can understand.
I am not signing you a song of self-pity. I have no one to blame for the bad decisions I have made over he course of my years. Even if I did have a "whipping boy," I wouldn't have the heart to have him whipped in my place.
I have to give thanks to Jesus, our Lord, for being "the" most-important person in my life. No wife or dear friend no matter how loving or dedicated could forgive me of sin or help me with my daily life. That's the way it is and I would not change it even if I were given the chance. And if you find this offensive, I simply cannot help it.
Time for a video about important people
"Are you still with me?"— Me, Kenneth Avery
Not beleaguering the point
I am not going to continue to write a lengthy introduction due to the weather being way hot here in northwest Alabama. Today it was 102 (without the heat index) and that was hot. Besides, you are probably still on a well-deserved vacation, so I am keeping your leisure time in mind by sharply-editing this piece as I go along. No thanks required.
I am entitling this piece . . .
How To Be Important on a Shoestring Budget
"Hey, Margie! That Kenneth Avery who writes on HubPages is at it again. Drop your ironing and come on over to help me understand this man."
Images of important people, planes, and monuments
You are at a party and someone asks you, "Did U.S. Steel make it through the hostile take-over today,"
What are they talking about?
- A factory in Pittsburgh being overrun by angry former employees who were laid off for some mysterious reason.
- A new wrestler in the W.W.E.
- A group of wealthy, important people decided to buy-out all of the stock available on the New York Stock Exchange and gain control of this U.S. corporation.
If you answered "one" or "two," you best stay home.
Note: Sadly, to really reach your chosen level of importance, it will cost you dearly. Meaning money, time to study at America's most-prestigious learning institutions, Harvard, Yale, etc., or you have to be born into a family of great wealth and prestige, so if you are an average person, these easy-to-do tips will serve you well. And they are free.
Always Be Seen - - with the important crowd in your town. If the principle, "guilty by association" works then why not the "Be Seen (with important people) Principle" work? Just show-up at a place where a charity auction is being held and walk up to an important citizen of your town and ask them for directions. But do this when you know for sure that your friends and neighbors will see you yakking with this important politician or rich person. Hey, this accidentally worked for me in high school. One Saturday I was seen by some of my middle class friends and the next Monday I heard, "Hey, Ken! Who was that fox you were talking to Saturday?" For a moment. Just for one vanishing moment, I was important.
Wisdom as an Illusion - - friend, you do not have to go to a high-brow college to know things. Just study up on some areas that you know will be discussed at your upcoming college or high school reunion by those who "did" make it to being important. Choose just the right time and sidle up to the group and let one of them say something to you and then you can drop a few terms about the subject you heard the group talking about and suddenly, you are walking among the important alumni.
Dress is Success - - the phrase, "dress for success," should be my phrase at the beginning of this sentence. People judge us subconsciously by the clothes we wear, so to repeat, if you are a middle class person on a low or fixed income, head to your local Good Will Store and buy a couple of great-looking three-piece suits and matching shoes. Do this each payday. In a few weeks time, you have an "important-LOOKING" wardrobe. Then pop into your courthouse or restaurant where most important people dine or hang out. You will not have to say anything. Just slightly smile, nod your head as you walk up and down the stairs or ride the elevator with these elite people. Before long, one of this crowd will ask, "bud, where do you work in this establishment?" You chuckle. Wait a second. Then reply, "me? Work? Surely you gest." And say nothing more. Oh, your name will be mentioned alright--by the people who can help you to be important.
Using Your Bank - - to fuel your "important campaign." How? It's easy if you are friends with the bank president or cashiers. Actually if you are a middle class person, you should know the officers of your bank due to you owing them your soul for your mortgage, car or other loans. If you have some spare cash lying around, dress in one of your best-looking three-piece suits and walk up to a cashier who knows you, but only when "seriously" important people are inside the bank. Talk a little louder than you are used to while chatting to your cashier friend. Say things about your plans to expand your home and open a new business--things important, wealthy people talk about everyday. One of these privileged people will notice you and talk about you to their other wealthy, important friends. Soon you will be on speaking terms with these people who are the "cream of the crop" in your town.
Hire a Limo - - and driver for a few hours and attend a high-level social function in your town. Have the driver park out of sight, but where you can study the people going inside the lavish civic center (donated by an important, wealthy person in your town). Then as other wealthy, important people are being driven up to the entrance, have your hired driver pull up behind them and open your door for you. Talk about eyebrows being raised and gasps of surprise being heard. This will happen because the wealthy, important crowd will be talking about you.
Use Social Networking - - to climb the "Ladder of Importance." First find out who among your friends actually knows the single daughter of an important person living near your town. Pay your friend, if need be, to talk you up to this lovely, single, important debutante. If you are blessed to get a date with this social flower, dress up really nice in another one of your many nice three-piece "Good Will" suits, refresh your vocabulary of what important words you can say and even learn a few words of French. By you just scoring points with this single, important girl, you will be on your way to being important one day soon. You can actually fall in love with this girl and then "important papa" will love you for marrying his only daughter. Talk about getting to be important and loving it.
Note: with this tip you will have to create a vision of personal success ahead of time and what you create is up to you, but make it legal and moral. Then you share sad news with your now-married, wealthy, important wife about your business "hitting the skids," and you having to shut it down. She will cry to her papa and he will dish-out the big bucks so you and her can still live the life of wealth and importance because he will feel a threat of public embarrassment if his only daughter is married to a man whose business has tanked.
Avoid - - your other good, middle class friends for a while for they will tarnish your new image if you allow them to associate with you. I never said getting to be important was going to be a cakewalk. So make fast friends with a handful of important guys and girls even if it calls on you to kiss some butt and kowtow to be accepted by them. So what if you have to mow their lawns and feed their horses for a little while. It will all be worth it. I hate to use over-kill here, but "keep your eyes on the importance." There is no prize in my phrase. Why? If you just "keep your eyes on the prize," you will not go anywhere.
I hope these work for you. Take my test to the right to prove to me that you are ready to make a splash in important social circles of New York, Los Angeles and maybe Red Bay, Alabama.
Good night, Tyler, Texas.
Enjoy, but do not forget to read my comment below this video
"What really gets me is that "really" important people such as Jimmy Buffet, the singer in above video, recording a song (in first-person) telling us something he "needs" to fulfill his life." "The song is good, but the premise is laughable."
© 2016 Kenneth Avery
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