How To Deal With Someone Who Hates You

How To Deal With Someone Who Hates You

Being accepted by others is very important to most people. We all want to be accepted by society, a family or a loving relationship. However, all of us will experience some kind of rejection at some point in our lives if we haven't already. Not everyone was meant to love us, so we have to deal with those who might despise us because of an idea, feeling or belief that has conformed their minds and hearts into this despiteful attitude towards us.

Hatred, whether it spawns from rivalry, bigotry or jealousy it is a negative emotion that can destroy a person to their very core if they allow it to, just like the stresses of life and holding on to anger and not forgiving someone.

Now It is very possible that someone hates you because you have provoked them to, perhaps you've wrong them in some way and vengeance along with hatred is in their hearts. You might have asked for forgiveness and it has fallen on deaf ears. Some people takes a long time to get over someone hurting them. They may come around in time and forgive you or they might choose to hold this grudge forever. If they choose not to forgive; the only thing you can do in this situation is learn from your mistakes not to hurt someone like that again in the future and to accept the fact that what you caused is irreversible and move on with your life.

There are those who judge someone and choose to hate them without even getting a chance to know who they are on a personal level, this kind of hatred is quite evident when it is racially motivated. If you are not taught that there is good in everyone, and that all people deserves a chance to be judged by the content of their character and not by their physical appearance, anything less than that is cheating yourself out of becoming acquainted with someone who could be a potentially good friend.

People who hate someone because of what they've accomplished, what they possess or who they are in a relationship with are jealous, and jealousy and hatred goes hand in hand. But there are different kinds of jealousy, just like there is different kinds of hatred. Nevertheless, If people would put aside petty feelings of hatred and learn how to accept others and not be so quick to judge or not forgive, life would be much better for many people.

If for any reason someone flat out hates you for no apparent reason at all and you haven't done anything to them, it is their problem not yours. They have to learn how to come to terms with their problems of hatred, and if not, then so be it, let them suffer.

You just have to remember not to blame yourself or punish yourself because you think it is something you've done to cause them to hate you. And whatever you do don't sit up all day and night long trying to figure out what you've done to them.

Everyone is aware of their actions and if you are conscientiously aware that you ran over your neighbors dog the other night when you returned home from work and you didn't apologize to him or offer to pay for vet bills, perhaps you might want to come to the realization that you've done your neighbor wrong and ask for forgiveness.

Dealing with people who hate you isn't easy, therefore just understand that it is a negative part of life and it will make us appreciate the positive part of life; when you acknowledge the people in your life who does respect and love you, you won't have time to worry about those that reject you because it would be a waste of time.

When one person does something spiteful or says something mean to you, don't become a slave to their venom; go and watch a sunset on the beach, look up at the clouds and see the beauty in it, smell a rose or take a stroll under an umbrella on a rainy day with the love of your life, yourself.

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Comments 22 comments

passthejelly profile image

passthejelly 6 years ago from Lakewood Colorado

I find that too many people in the world hate by nature, with little to no justification for it. People need to get over themselves. Life is too short to spend all your energy hating someone.


Affinity2010 profile image

Affinity2010 6 years ago from New Orleans, La Author

You are so right


stricktlydating profile image

stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia

Yes, don't buy into someone else's negative attitude towards you! But I think it's better to say something than not mention anything when someone puts you down, because otherwise you can build up resentment.


Shelvajay profile image

Shelvajay 5 years ago from If You Know Me Personally, You Know Where I Am...

I have encountered this in life, on both ends. I like this article, I am going to bookmark it so that when I have time later on tonight, I can read it and absorb it more. Thank you.


Affinity2010 profile image

Affinity2010 5 years ago from New Orleans, La Author

Very True Stricktlydating, If you feel the need to say something in defense of someone else belittling you or putting you down, follow your heart. Just understand that even though you might confront them it won't change their opinion of you. But the good thing is you've stood up for yourself. Thank you for your comment.


Affinity2010 profile image

Affinity2010 5 years ago from New Orleans, La Author

Shelvajay, I'm glad you liked my article and bookmarked it. I hope it touches your life in one way or another.


Shelvajay profile image

Shelvajay 5 years ago from If You Know Me Personally, You Know Where I Am...

I am at a stopping point, and I have thoroughly read and enjoyed this article. I will be following you, ma'am, and I invite you to come and read my Hubs too! I hope you enjoy them, I am a newbie here, and I have found great reading material, and have felt most welcomed with my own inspirations!

Thanks again!


Affinity2010 profile image

Affinity2010 5 years ago from New Orleans, La Author

Shelvajay, I am glad you enjoyed my hub. I usually pull them straight from the heart and from life experiences. I will be reading your hubs as well and can't hardly wait to start and I'm sure I will enjoy them. Have a good time on Hubpages.


HP 5 years ago

I have been having this kind of problem for many years. Most of my relatives hate me, especially my aunts. And I have always tried to find out what I have done wrong to them. After reading this article, I feel better. I really need more comments from you. How to face with those people who hate me at home.


Affinity2010 profile image

Affinity2010 5 years ago from New Orleans, La Author

HP, Move one with your life without trying to figure out ways to make your relatives like you. There may be nothing you can do about it but live your days making yourself happy. Time can only tell if your family will start treating you with respect. If you've wrong them and you are aware of it, own up to it and apologize to them. If you know you've done nothing, kiss them off as a loss but keep the door open if they decide to come back through it again. If anything they should be sorry.


NPK 4 years ago

Hard to live with it. I kept saying, , who cares but anyhow its hard..I let God handle it for me. I"m just human, I have feelings but I hate what's running behind my mind. Nothing I can do about it. I asked God for forgiveness! It makes me feel a better person ! Thanks and God bless us all


guest 4 years ago

this is true but when people older than you hate you for no reason,its harder to talk to them because they are older.


JustWondering 4 years ago

I faced this too. And is still facing it, after almost 6 years with his family. At first it was his 13 yrs old sister... first meeting and she flat out said she hated me to him. I laughed about it and tried so hard over the first year of my relationship - just smiling, saying hi and buying gifts on xmas, etc.

Then I gave up. She glared at me. I glared right back. She got her dad, her brother, her sister in laws to make me feel so outcasted, so intensed that I began to disrespect them - as in I got tired of greeting them formally just to get back nothing in return but a blank and sometimes grumpy looks with a mumbled "hey."

I am going on a week long vacation with these people (no brother and sister-in-laws - Thanks God!) next week. I am terrified! While my boyfriend is super happy.... I am not MYSELF when I am around these people. I will put up a front.. and act too tough. I do not even fake to like their company. I keep my mouth shut and let my boyfriend enjoy their company - then I leave the house with him in peace. But it irritates the crap out of me, everytime! Like I do not even exists. But when I do say something, I get the impression they think I am rude.

These 4 are the first I've encountered that openly hates me.


Brian 4 years ago

I'm dealing with hatred, that I'd like to stop. My ex-wife changed, and while I don't 'Like' her, I don't hate her. What I hate is the way I'm treated. I did not cheat inher. We always got along when we were married. But I just left a mediation session where she flat out said 'I hate him' to the mediator. No reason. Just said it. It hurt. Deeply. I have children with this person, and have to deal with her 'hatred' behavior. She said she'd fake it for her kids sake, but i don't think being 'fake' is the answer. I don't know what is, but I get a lot of demeaning behavior, name calling, etc, and I just want it to stop. My reaction hasn't always been good, i have, after multiple texts, reacyed, called names back. But everyone has their limits. I'm at my witts end.


Affinity2010 profile image

Affinity2010 4 years ago from New Orleans, La Author

Brian, Staying in a bad marriage for the sake of the children is not a good idea. If someone hates you, you have to think of your own well-being and with that emotional turmoil you deserve to be happy with someone who celebrates you and love you. Being around those who care and love you expands your life. If you love her it is something you might have to get over because it sounds hopeless from what I have read. Find yourself, love yourself enough to get out of that situation and you will eventually find true love. Blessings to you.


tresh06 4 years ago

It's so difficult to deal with someone who hates you. The agonizing pain it comes along with is unbareable. This is especially true when you love the person and is always going out of the way being exceptionally nice to them, and they give you that unappreciated response. I believe there comes a time when you have to put your foot down and start standing up for self and let it be known that you are leaving that person with his/her hate behide. It's simply not worth your time to stay in such toxic situation.


Anon 4 years ago

There's this girls in the same group of friends as me at school that hates me. She's a very picky person when it comes to choosing friends and she doesn't like half the people in the group. I try really hard to please her yet she still ignores me. Recently she also mange to split the group in half and i am really upset and angry at her. She doesn't really try to help other people (including friends) when they are in trouble except her best friend. I really don't know what to do.


Affinity2010 profile image

Affinity2010 4 years ago from New Orleans, La Author

First of all, if you know this girl hates you.... refrain from spending anytime with her. If you share mutual friends with her... explain to them that you'd be better off not hanging out in this group as long as she is there because she doesn't like you much. If your friends have a problem with you not hanging out with them because of her... then maybe finding other friends to hang out with should suffice.


Broken Heart 4 years ago

My cousin hates me. I never expected she'd do something like that to me!!! :'(


Matsay 4 years ago

Why! my mother in-law hates me even I'm not doing anything wrong w/ her, instead I'm showing deeply in my heart my love and care for her, and she includes my husband ( her son ) and her granddaughter( my daughter) in fact my daughter is just 9 yrs. old, when she took care of her, when she was sick, I think she is lucky w/ us because even my daughter is just a small little girl, she took care of her grandmother, anyway, I'm just concern because it's unhealthy family, if a mother, grandmother, and a mother in-law is lack of respect, no love and care, hopefully you can give me an advise that make me satisfied or make me happy, especially life is so short, thank you so much.


Affinity2010 profile image

Affinity2010 3 years ago from New Orleans, La Author

Matsay, this is something I think you should confide in your husband about. Tell him how you feel about his mother's attitude towards you.

It must be unbearable for you to be around her with this attitude, so explain to him that you don't feel comfortable. Unfortunately in many cases in-laws always feell as though their children have been stolen away from them by their spouses and sometimes there is nothing you can do to change them....only time might change them, In the meantime continue to be decent to your mother in law, but limit your time away from her. Spend more time with your family, get support and advice from your own family and friends, without making their opinions turn you bitter against your in laws. If your mother in law is using you, your daughter who is too young to be caring for a sick person and your husband. it is time to put an end to her mistreatment of your family. You and your husband should stick together on this issue. When you marry you are supposed to leave to cleave and forsake all others. Your marriage is supposed to be sacred and respected by all. A family counselor should be considered for your family. I wish you all the best in the New Year.


Affinity2010 profile image

Affinity2010 3 years ago from New Orleans, La Author

If your cousin have decided to cut ties with you for no apparent reason at all...she hates youa and you've done nothing. Let her get over it on her own because right now there is nothing you can say that will change her mind especially if you have told her the truth over and over again. Spend your time with others and continue to have fun with others enjoy your life. If your cousin loves you, she will start missing you...blood is thicker than water. Forgiveness is right around the corner, just hold on.

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