How to Become a Successful Dictator

Tips on How to Rule the World

How many times have you looked at a picture of a ruthless dictator and thought, I can do that too! And I can do it better! Yes running a nation can be high stress, but the power that comes from being a dictator must feel like an ant carrying a boulder - ever powerful.

In fact, most dictators are in power because they are power addicts, not because they really want to help anyone. Power, money, fame, rock and roll with a few sprinklings of public goods for the masses and some private goodies for a select few is all it takes to rule a nation.

The Winners in a Dictatorship

To be a dictator, you cannot work alone. You need a staff, a chamber of advisers and cronies. You need people that you can pay off to do your dirty work. These people can be part of the military, police force and media and will help spread support, and fear, across the nation so people know they need to be on your side. They need to be. Or else you'll have their heads. Simple.

This winning coalition cannot be too large, because they need to be paid off with niceties. In this world, money goes round, along with material things like cars, and expensive alcohol. Keep these people happy, and they'll spread all the propaganda you want. If you have enough power, even making them mad won't make them defect. However, if there are too many in the winning coalition, there is chance for defection. This means that if one bad seed turns against you they can take your coalition, possibly kill you, and take your power. So keep it simple. Keep the coalition small, and the rewards big.

Select the Selectorate, or People That are Allowed to Vote

A ruler can decide who will vote in his or her nation. If you want only literate people to vote you can do that. If you want only left handed people who can balance on their left hip while doing a yoga plank, you can do that too. Ultimately, you are the creator of the laws of the land, and being that you are a dictator, you have the power to change the laws, throw them out, and rewrite them in the comfort of your bedroom.

Population and Public Goods

Decide what you will do for the general population. Will they have health care? Will they have equal opportunities for employment, education, sewer systems, sewer service...running water? The key is to keep the general population comfortable. Too little and you run the risk of them becoming desperate. A desperate populace with nothing to lose will surely go after the leader. If you give them too much, they could organize against you and kick you out of office, even if you don't grant them voting rights.

Bits of information from the media, a limited education, the option of literacy, basic health care, and basic services will keep most people happy. Also try not to tax the hell out of them. Taxes make people mad, especially if they already have no money. If they want to make more money, they should work both harder and smarter. A government that facilitates hard work is always a good government. You want successful people that think you are not standing in their way. So let them "laissez faire" their lives and let them know you gave them the liberty to live and work.

Mutual Loyalty to the Winning Coalition to the General Population is Key

There could always be a more ruthless dictator than you. Don't kill people for sport, give people what they need to survive comfortably, allow them to ride the free market train, and reward those that help convince the general population that they are living the good life. This is the essence to being a great dictator. Now go, claim your land, and dictate away.

Bad Dictators that Needed Tips

Idi Amin liked to send his presidential opponents from helicopters into shark infested waters. If they made it back to shore, then they were qualified to run against him in a presidential campaign.  He also self proclaimed himself King of Scotland. T
Idi Amin liked to send his presidential opponents from helicopters into shark infested waters. If they made it back to shore, then they were qualified to run against him in a presidential campaign. He also self proclaimed himself King of Scotland. T
Saparmurat Niyazov took over Turkmenistan in 1991 when the Soviet Union fell apart. He quickly banned video games and beards. He also made himself President for life.
Saparmurat Niyazov took over Turkmenistan in 1991 when the Soviet Union fell apart. He quickly banned video games and beards. He also made himself President for life.
Kim Jong Il likes to spend $700,000 a year on whiskey...and not even the good stuff. His people are starving by the way, so if he keeps it up, he won't have anyone to work to death and rule. He's running himself out of the job.
Kim Jong Il likes to spend $700,000 a year on whiskey...and not even the good stuff. His people are starving by the way, so if he keeps it up, he won't have anyone to work to death and rule. He's running himself out of the job.
Somoza's problem was that he ostracized a third of the country, killed lots of people, and benefited monetarily from natural disasters. He was able to profit from earthquakes because he owned all the cement and building businesses that helped rebuild
Somoza's problem was that he ostracized a third of the country, killed lots of people, and benefited monetarily from natural disasters. He was able to profit from earthquakes because he owned all the cement and building businesses that helped rebuild
Daniel Ortega must have done something right. He was the coordinator for the FSLN peasant uprisings in Nicaragua and became President from ...was exiled from the country...returned, and is now the President again. He must have done something right, t
Daniel Ortega must have done something right. He was the coordinator for the FSLN peasant uprisings in Nicaragua and became President from ...was exiled from the country...returned, and is now the President again. He must have done something right, t

Political Survival

The Logic of Political Survival (MIT Press)
The Logic of Political Survival (MIT Press)

The Logic of Political Survival is a textbook that reads like a manual on how to run a country. Filled with great information, wonderful examples, and awesome statistics. It is my personal bible, and the inspiration behind this article.

 
Tyrants: The World's 20 Worst Living Dictators
Tyrants: The World's 20 Worst Living Dictators

Learn what these guys did wrong, and try not to do the same. If you want loyalty, don't throw people in shark infested waters, don't kill people's families, and please, no torture. Its overrated and never works.

 
Livescribe 2GB Pulse Smartpen (APA-00002)
Livescribe 2GB Pulse Smartpen (APA-00002)

You're going to need this to plan your strategy. As a dictator, you don't want to write everything out and type it all up. Write it once, upload it to your computer, and get on with ruling...

 
Livescribe 8.5 x 11 Single Subject Notebook #1-4 (4-pack)
Livescribe 8.5 x 11 Single Subject Notebook #1-4 (4-pack)

...and you'll need LOTS of extra paper to write your constitution and change any pesky laws that don't work with your goals.

 

Comments 16 comments

jupitar 7 years ago

hmm, good advice, but I have to sacrifice my humane nature.


csofia928 profile image

csofia928 7 years ago Author

or just be and extra smooth public speaker. -=)


EYEAM4ANARCHY profile image

EYEAM4ANARCHY 7 years ago from Las Vegas, NV.

Very cool and funny take on dictatorships. I think everything you said actually applies to government in general. It's just a matter of degrees.

I didn't realize you could write your own descriptions on the Amazon capsules. That's a nice bit of info.


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio

Hey...why does this sound so familiar?....nice hub! :)


Carmen 7 years ago

It does seem a little...close to home doesn't it?


sir slave profile image

sir slave 5 years ago from Trinity county CA.

Read some noam chomsky to sort those guys out a little.

or do you already know they are not all in the exact same boat of character.?

you could have put the picture up of just about any right wing latin american leader for the last 55 years up and it would be correct!! the definition of dictator is someone who is moving to consolidate political power...many communist leaders fit this bill...but many who were elected recently by democratic election like morales don't deserve the title.


electricsky profile image

electricsky 5 years ago from North Georgia

Yes if there's nothing to stop a leader's power he becomes a one-sided dictator. I am glad leaders here do not stay in office more than 2 terms unlike dictators who can stay there until someone knocks him or her off.

I wish all leaders would think of ways to reward us though. Like think of all of the money you would have if you never paid any sales taxes.


puneet sharma 5 years ago

I really inspired by this commnet. nothing impossible for me what i want ,come what may will be completed.


Hellobyebye 4 years ago

so...are there any female dictators? What happened to girl power? Are ladies just not capable of being monsters?


Carmen 4 years ago

women are DEFINITELY capable of being monsters! I often think about Imelda Marcos - first lady of the Phillipines in the 80s, wife of Ferdinand Marcos - her and her husband moved billions of dollars of embezzled public funds to the United States, Switzerland, and other countries, as well as into alleged corporations during his 20 years in power. The country was dirt poor then (things are a little better now)...And of course, Violeta Chamorro...while not a dictator per se, she was an authoritarian that was once part of the sandinista movement. She tried, but when politics finds a comfortable pace and process it is hard to get it out of that path of corruption. What do you think?


Jame's Hitler 4 years ago

Thank's yo That's how my Bro got to the top.


mmanguen@gmail.com 4 years ago

I'M STRUGGLING TO BE A SUCCESSFUL DICTATORSHIP IN MY COUNTRY.BUT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT DICTATOR


zombiemonk 4 years ago

i think that if you want to have a successful dictatorship you need to kill everyone in the government that can oppose you. Then make it illegal for somebody to disagree with you


Supreme ruler of the world 4 years ago

Thank you i can rule better now.


Suleman 4 years ago

if there is a rule that a normal person can be a dictator

(it don't mind's that he or she is a good or a bad dictator)then everyone should say, that i want to be a dictator,and who is the government who allow them to be?


Kj4d says 4 years ago

Long live the dictator!!!!!!

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