How to be more interesting in about 850 to 1000 words

A high quality person.
A high quality person. | Source

Everyone needs to know you better

At the risk of being anointed substandard, we present handy tips for ingratiating yourself into the consciousness of those sufficiently fortunate to know you. It's easy. We all need more attention and most of us get what we deserve in the long run. In the short run we get winded and sweaty.

Yes, you may not be acting as interestingly as your Mother always told you. The Internet just might be ignoring you. We're here to help. Peruse these conveniently handy steps to become what you always thought you might be going to turn into. You can be all that you can be.

Step 1: talk about yourself

No one is more interesting than you. Who is the first person you think of when you wake up every morning? When you look in the mirror, does a little tingle run down your spine?

Everyone wants and needs to hear about you. Don't deny everyone. The most important comment you can make to any sentient human is a sentence that starts with 'I.' That stranger waiting in line with you at Wal Mart secretly wants to know your name, what you had for lunch, and how you plan to pay for all those Miley Cyrus DVDs.

Look for opportunities to expound on yourself. Strategically selected captive audience scenarios such as airline flights and hospital waiting rooms are stellar locations to tell your new best friends about your childhood. Vary your sentence length, maintain eye contact, and block the door when necessary. Everyone will thank you.

Wear interesting clothes

Anecdotal research indicates that clothing seems to be a public imperative. To that end, nothing makes you more interesting than dressing appropriately. Boring togs inform the world that you're uninteresting, which is not going to make you any more interesting.

Everything should match. Clashing colors will not inspire people to listen to you. Strangers will remain strangers, making it harder to borrow money from them. Well-fitting color-coordinated shirts and pants not purchased from Goodwill rarely fail to score the last seat on a bus.

We authors adore adorning ourselves in visually engaging accoutrement. Sentient scribblers swathed in Sear's sweaters standing in line at Starbucks show up in all major cities. Alliteration also makes you more interesting.

Use big words

Talking at people requires deployment of words. Words formed into sentences tend to be significantly more interesting, especially when someone is listening. We prefer really big words.

Deploy massive words whenever possible. No one ever got elected President or dominated Wheel of Fortune by using small words. Your friends will deeply enjoy your intense knowledge of language despite their sagging eyelids: they are merely concentrating on your every syllable.

Scepsis of words notwithstanding, even if you work in a sabbulonarium people will want to share their sapid salmagundi with you. Big words induce salutiferous effects even as sangfroid increases. A well-turned sentence replete with massively syllabic words often overcomes saprostomous issues.

Deploy Bulleted Lists

Google loves bulleted lists. Unexpected detection of dots preceding logically ordered phrases causes digital paroxysms across international data centers. It's true because it's on the Internet.

For example, enumerate your favorite interesting tidbits about yourself:

All this and more can be yours. Everyone wants to know these things about you and they want just as much to read a bulleted list. Be careful not to accidentally compose standard paragraphs: build structurally sound fragments decorated with dots because you can.

At this point in the narrative we have squeezed out 543 words. We can do better.  Better is a relative term.
At this point in the narrative we have squeezed out 543 words. We can do better. Better is a relative term.

Educate yourself, and those around you

A college education rarely fails to increase the interesting quotient. No one can resist a person in cap-and-gown regalia, especially while standing in line for government cheese. We endorse online education because in close proximity there just might be handy online advertising for such fine institutions.

Look for degree programs offering training in skills that will never go away, such as computer technician and explaining to people why free health care doesn't cover eyelash transplants. Avoid buggy whip repair school.

Many valuable educational opportunities can be paid for with online government funding. The government has all of your money and they are happy to loan it back to you over the rest of your life. A single semester of higher education can be easily financed at shockingly tempting compound interest and penalties. You can get a 5-figure signature loan from the government even though your credit isn't sufficient for a used PS3. It's worth it because you will need a graduate degree to be interesting when you are living in a van down by the river.

This is mildly interesting.
This is mildly interesting. | Source
Meow
Meow | Source

Cats!

Few resist cat media. Simply provide cat anecdotes replete with High Quality images. Our Internet originated with the Department of Defense but cats break down barriers more effectively than missiles. We know this.

Any cat suffices. I prefer my cats because, well, they're my cats. Feel free to substitute your own kitties or borrow my images. Copy all you want: I'll make more.

To summarize

Writers block is not as painful as other types of blockage, but it only hurts for a little while. In the interest of excreting 850-1000 words we summarize with another vaunted list:

  1. Talk about yourself
  2. Wear interesting clothes
  3. Use big words
  4. Summarize
  5. Educate yourself

Fun, it has been, to talk with you about making yourself more interesting to the opposite and identical sex. Yes, sex is a word. This handy summary should not be taken as a substitute for the entire article: go back to the beginning. You owe it to yourself.

Take this handy poll: the NSA needs more data

I already feel more interesting

  • Yes
  • No
  • Yes and No
  • None of these
  • All of these
See results without voting

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31 comments

nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Happy to be the first commenter.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 3 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Nicomp, you DO have a way with words!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@AustinStar , thanks!


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida

When it comes to alluring, amiable, attractive, alliteration, nicomp, you are indisputably innovative and inherently inspiring. Your devoted sentient, scribbler fan.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj , you could probably write a book about me. Or a dissertation.


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 3 years ago from East Coast, United States

Ha! I can't get past the bullet points. I write something then think, you need bullet points. Then I can see the entire hub in bullet points. It's a love/hate relationship.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Dolores Monet , it's a technical writing thing. Poe and Hemingway probably wrote without bullet points but they never composed user manuals or contrived online blogs to attract Google.


ChitrangadaSharan profile image

ChitrangadaSharan 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

Well you have actually written an interesting hub and I do agree with the points you make above. I love bullet points and I do use them liberally in my hubs.

Thanks for an interesting read!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@ChitrangadaSharan , I agree with you on all points. Thanks for topping by!


nicomp 2 years ago

I would like to click on the links that lead to each commenter, above, but I cannot. That severely limits myself from reading about other interesting writers on this site.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 2 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@nicomp , I agree. It's a too-many-links thing. Google makes the rules.


pocono foothills profile image

pocono foothills 2 years ago from Easton, Pennsylvania

@nicomp--Here's a little about myself...........just kidding. Very engaging Hub. BTW-I'm currently on my way to the airport, where I plan to take advantage of the captive audience waiting for the same plane as me, and tell them all about my childhood adventures as a grizzly bear wrestler and venemous snake milker.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 2 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

pocono foothills, you leverage that opportunity.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 2 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Still a classic. I think.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 2 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

I enjoyed reading it once again.


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 2 years ago from East Coast, United States

Back again only to find one thing you missed. In addition to grilled cheese sandwiches, a good article needs to mention cats!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 2 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Dolores Monet , Yikes!

Adding it now...


MJennifer profile image

MJennifer 2 years ago from Arizona

I'm so glad DoloresMonet shared this so I might see it (and share it, too) … because it is an absolute gem. Every little touch is wonderfully satiric and beautifully subtle, from "talking at people" to the online-college endorsement and your own comments.

I always knew I used to work with very interesting people and this certainly confirms my belief. I used to feign petit mal seizures to escape them lest I, too, become so interesting I'd want to stop by every office and show off the leather briefcase I bought in Rome -- oh, wait, that wasn't me, that was someone else -- but they'd still keep enlightening me, oblivious to the catatonic stare.

There -- I worked "cat" into my comment. Yay for me!

Loved this. Thanks for the tutorial!

Best -- MJ


nicomp profile image

nicomp 2 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@MJennifer , seizures? Just carry a handy cat. That won't affect your health insurance premiums.


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 2 years ago from Houston, Texas

"A well-turned sentence replete with massively syllabic words often overcomes saprostomous issues." Good to know! I previously thought that chewing on parsley did the trick! Ha! Funny post!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 2 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Peggy W , parsley doesn't start with 's' but it might still succeed.


DrMark1961 profile image

DrMark1961 2 years ago from The Beach of Brazil

I was going to comment on this hub, but I see that you have too many already. (If I left a comment you would feel the need to come up with a witty reply, something that starts with "I" and involves multisyllabic words--I do not want to burden you.)

You´re welcome.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 2 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@DrMark1961 , it's kind of my thing.


mdscoggins profile image

mdscoggins 2 years ago from Fresno, CA

Hi Nicomp. You have a great way with words and I have found a smile today which is good, I could have found worse things :) I will try to be more interesting by using "I" statements which I find is somewhat hard for me. I also agree that writer's block is not the worse blockage that could occur. have a great day..


nicomp profile image

nicomp 2 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

mdscoggins , write all about yourself because no one knows you better than you. Furthermore, Google can't accuse of copying.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 18 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

Yes, it's true: I read it again. I also read all the comments, even those not left by me.


tranthanhlam profile image

tranthanhlam 17 months ago from Ho Chi Minh city, Vietnam

great post for an advice!


billybuc profile image

billybuc 14 months ago from Olympia, WA

There's no hope for me. I wear the least interesting clothes....sigh! I shall forever remain anonymous. :)


nicomp profile image

nicomp 14 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

billybuc - I beg to differ. You're worth reading even if Google might not agree with your fashion sense.


sujaya venkatesh profile image

sujaya venkatesh 14 months ago

very energizing hub


nicomp profile image

nicomp 14 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@sujaya venkatesh : Thanks! I agree with you.

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