If culture Nannies get their way these depictions will all one day earn "R" ratings for movies
According to a report published in Pediatrics, a research team has concluded that depictions of smoking in movies promote tobacco use among teens. The leader of the research team, James Sargent, has further suggested that all movies which portray scenes of smoking should automatically be given R ratings. Although other experts are doubtful of the researchers' conclusions, as an average American citizen I do not have any doubts that Sargent will get his heart's desire very soon courtesy of the powerful Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA). This institution has historically been elated to help vilify whatever activities have been deemed unseemly, unwholesome, unsafe or conveniently un-American by the U.S. government. The relationship between the Gov and the MPAA has generally been a contented and prosperous one over the decades. And without the MPAA's eagerness to bolster political ideals the society our grandparents lived in may never have been spared other depravities deemed harmful in their lifetime. Among the depravities cut out by MPAA censorship in the past were actors shown with hair on their chests, married couples sharing a single bed, adults uttering profanity in times of frustration, women wearing two-piece bathing suits, non-white central characters, marijuana use leading to anything less than insanity and poverty, western heroes wearing hats that weren't white and real Native Americans being offered roles as Native American characters.
Certainly, there have been times when the Gov slagged on the job and was not sticking its fingers into every aspect of the lives of the ignorant masses. Fortunately times have changed and we're back to having a Government that diligently seeks to monitor, direct, correct and dictate every aspect of our day-to-day living. With this Godsend upon us I am sure that it will be no time before the MPAA will be doing their part in helping Uncle Sam by consigning movies with any depiction of smoking to the shameful wasteland of the R-rating. Not only this, I fully expect the good ole MPAA to take the lead in utterly disgracing all subjects presently deemed taboo and worse by our modern culture Nannies.
Going by Politically Correct sensibilities there are a whole lot of immoral liberties to be seen going on in movies these days. One sweet day the Gov might have all questionable activities banned for good. For now those who rely on culture Nannies for guidance can only hope that MPAA will quell the worst of these activities with the R-rating. And the following are the ones I predict will fall first under the ax once the decadent smoking scenes are taken down.
Drinking soda pop
Eating red meat
Eating any meat
Serving dessert to children
Overweight characters presented in a positive light
The playing with a food that could possibly, no matter how small the likelihood, pose as a choking hazard
Showing someone making their own non-FDA approved energy drink
The feeding of non-EPA approved foods to wild animals
Depictions of non-environmentally friendly disposal of dead animals
Fishing without a license
Making your own cloth without a license
Characters receiving non-government approved alternative and natural medicines, herbs, vitamins and health procedures
Showing someone enjoying the light of day and getting a tan without suffering cancer
People using tanning beds (these reportedly cause cancer)
People using sunblock ("studies" suggest the active ingredients also cause cancer!)
People using aloe vera to treat sunburns - not recognized as a legitimate sunburn treatment by medical professionals
People using aspirin - aspirin was proven to cause a single case of Rye's Syndrome years ago so we can't take any chances.
People using Acetaminophen, aka Tylenol - this alternative to aspirin has been demonstrated to cause liver failure
People riding in a car without a seat belt
Reckless, high-speed car chases in which no passenger is wearing a seat belt
Children not strapped into federally approved child safety seats while in a vehicle
Children not remaining strapped into federally approved child safety seats while the hero is attempting to rescue the family from a vehicular combustion fire
Southern white males surviving any reckless, high-speed car chase, whether they've used the seat belts or not
Any white Southern character depicted as possessing more than enough intelligence to walk and chew gum at the same time
A man or woman kissing their sibling in a moment of passion, unless of course they are white people from the South
Depictions of the hero being attracted to a heroine who is gentle, feminine, kind, loving -and god help us- does NOT kick ass.
Any depiction of a man carrying his wife off to make passionate love to her - because her exchange of heated tongue action and deep moaning might, in some alternate universe, mean she's not interested.
Perpetuation of gay stereotypes even if the perpetuating is done by admittedly gay actors happy with their roles
The teaching of children to think independently
Educators depicted as anything less than saints with the ability to walk on water and feed the masses with only a single loaf of gluten-free bread
Educators depicted as being interested in pay raises, more vacation time and/or other juicy benefits at the taxpayers' expense
The public educational system portrayed under any insidious light
White males portrayed as upholders of justice
The bearing of arms by a private citizen
Bears bearing arms
The depiction of anyone receiving income of over $200,000 and not reporting it to the IRS
Depictions of potentially disease-laden animals brought into a home where children live
Anyone running with scissors
Depictions of the careless use of potentially eye-gouging sharp sticks
The use of corporal punishment on children, even if doing so might make them think twice before ascending the throne of the Antichrist
Depictions of people using disposable diapers
Depictions of persons keeping the shower running while washing their hair
Scenes of people using fossil fuels to power their vehicles
Scenes of people leaving any trace of a carbon footprint on the planet
Scenes of people stepping on innocent, helpless insects
Scenes of people using insecticides to kill venomous insects
Scenes of people destroying venomous animals
Scenes of people destroying the homes, lairs and dark nether recesses wherein dwell venomous animals
Scenes of people taking it upon themselves to suck venom out of an animal bite instead of calling the victim's government-appointed health provider first.
The portrayal of anyone dating a much younger teen without benefit of having to put their name on the National Sexual Predator Registry
Anyone proudly taking the life of a true predator
Someone being attacked in a manner that may cast inconvenient suspicion on someone of a different culture
The showing of aggression toward illegal aliens
Violence displayed or threatened against anyone who follows an extremist belief, no matter how disgusting their plans may be
The common sense and foresight of the scientific community coming under question
Big government being criticized, questioned or otherwise portrayed in a negative way
Depictions of anyone taking a tough stand against deceptive and oppressive leaders
Negative depictions of smoking something that, unlike tobacco, can turn someone into a mindless, giggling and easily manipulated idiot
This Hub ©July 11, 2012 by Beth Perry
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