I'm Incredibly Not Sorry

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This is an article I wrote for a local paper a few years ago. It's a little dated, but hopefully not too much so.

I’m sorry. No, really. For what? I’m not sure, I just figured since everyone else is saying it these days I would too.

Every time I turn around, someone is on the news telling me how sorry they are for saying who knows what. I don’t care. Chances are, they didn’t care either until someone else got mad about it.

It’s too bad we didn’t have this policy in my house growing up. There were five kids in my family. One of us was always sure to say something to make the other one mad. If only I had known. I could have gotten all the kids in the neighborhood to band together and demand my mother cut off my brother’s allowance unless he apologized to me. That would have worked, maybe.

Of course, if he apologized, I probably would have gotten more upset, I’m sure he wouldn’t have meant it.

Is apologizing really the best way to go?

Maybe not. It isn’t working out so well for Don Imus at this time. John Kerry’s apology for a joke that went sour didn’t help him any either. Mel Gipson? No, I’m pretty sure that apology wasn’t much help, although he has a big enough fan base that the apology really didn’t hurt him much, either.

I read yesterday that people who are typically abrasive can get away giving an apology for offending people easier than those who aren’t. While I don’t disagree with the author, I do think it’s a sad day when we’ll accept an apology from someone who has no problem saying offensive things, often and loudly, and yet will refuse an apology from someone who never typically says things that might hurt someone’s feelings. The last guy’s probably the only one who meant it.

Maybe the best way to go is to say nothing. Smile, nod, perhaps shake your head…and run away from any and all cameras for a few months. The apologies are usually met with “too little, too late”, or “that’s good, but not good enough” anyway. I think some of the stars could take a little advice from the Reverend Jesse Jackson who told Michael Richards that he would not accept his apology for the racist remarks Richards said. The Reverend, however, didn’t feel the need to apologize to the Jewish community for calling them “hymies” and the Jewish residences in New York City “hymietown”. Richard’s career is essentially all but ruined at this time, and Reverend Jackson? He’s still going strong and the Rainbow coalition still loves him. Good going Jesse.

Say what you mean, mean what you say, and be prepared to stand by your words. Don’t duck, run, and yell “I’m sorry” when you’re so obviously, not. My favorite “non-apologies” are those who don’t care what people think. And, actually, I believe that’s how it should be. Bill Cosby, Rush Limbaugh, and last, but not least, the Dixie Chicks are great examples of famous non-apologies. Whether you agree with them or not, they stood by what they said. The Dixie Chicks even got a Grammy out of it.

People are always going to be upset at something. Sometimes they’re justified, sometimes they’re not. But is it really worth the watering down of our free speech to fire someone because the wrong people got their feelings hurt? I’ll bet Larry King is wishing he retired already.

What happens when we all become so afraid of hurting someone’s feelings and or being sued that we have to watch carefully every single word that comes out of our mouth?

What happens when The Simpson’s, Saturday Night Live and maybe even the 6 o’clock news (oh, wait, they already do) start censoring themselves for fear of retribution? After all the rallies for the right to “express ourselves” by burning flags, or posing in a nudie magazines we will have finally lost the right of freedom of speech due to “hurting someone’s feelings”.

The next thing you know we will all become pencil-heads parroting the same things in the same way and life will become extremely dull. Lastly, and most important, it will truly be a very, very sad day, because, well, all the really good jokes will be gone.

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Comments 21 comments

ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 6 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Sue,

I'm not sorry for anything I've ever said or done, but I'm terribly sorry if anyone was offended by my offensivenes. It was not my intention to unintentionally upset you, and if you feel slighted, hurt or in anyway less than perfect, I'm sorry.

No, what I meant to say is "I feel sorry for you..."

Appologetically, no really, I'm in tears here,

Chris


eovery profile image

eovery 6 years ago from MIddle of the Boondocks of Iowa

I'm not sorry either.

Keep on hubbing!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 6 years ago from Indiana Author

Chris,

I'm incredibly not sorry that you're not sorry.

I'm offended by your offensiveness, however, since you apologized I'm even more offended.

I will forgive you, however. Tears get me every time.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 6 years ago from Indiana Author

eovery- I'm not sorry that you're not sorry either. I'm also not sorry that you are so sweet with your comments. Thank you!


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 6 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

interesting take on "I'm Sorry"

When people bump into me or do something to me - and apologize I have a standard reply "you only have to say sorry if it hurts and that didn't hurt" and then I laugh.

For me - I have thick skin and honestly am very comfortable in it..... Thus I am seldom hurt emotionally tough enough physically to not be bothered by much.... thus my reply fits almost all the time. Even if someone says something with the intention of getting my goat - I don't let them know where it is tied up so all is good.

Anyway - interesting take on "I'm Sorry" .... Sorry my reply was so long winded LOL


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 6 years ago from Indiana Author

Neil-I'm going to have to remember "getting my goat-I don't let them know where it is tied up so all is good". That's awesome, I love it!

Thanks for reading, I really enjoyed your comment!


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 5 years ago

Hahaha, well written.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Thank you, Qudsai!


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 5 years ago

Very thought provoking , Im sorry , but it is!LOL


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

ahorseback- very funny! I'm sorry but your comment really was. I'm not sorry however that when I went to my "comments" I did NOT have "zero comments to moderate"!

Thank you for saving me right back!! :)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Why should I apologize?

I've never been wrong.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Will- of course you haven't! Who said you had?

I'm a white belt in Tae Kwon Do, I can probably take them.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Sue - now I would say I'm sorry but I won't because I wouldn't mean it! I'm not sorry at all that you are the Queen! Mel isn't doing so good these days either, huh? He should have shut it up while he was ahead!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- So true! I still like to see his little tushy in all the Lethal Weapon movies, though. (bad mom, bad mom.... )


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Oh no that don't make ya bad! I remember the first one - you know where he's in that nasty little bitty kind of truck travel camper maybe? And he jumps out of the bed - uh huh I saw it!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- that one is burned into my brain! The library used to be my happy place, now it's that scene.. :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Yes - isn't it too bad what he has done with himself? Tisk, tisk......he had some wonderbuns:)! He probably doesn't even believe the things his mouth says!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- I think being famous can make you crazy. I feel sorry for all of these guys. I agree with you, I don't think he believes what he says, I doubt if he really even knows what he says.

It's a rough life in a different way than our life is rough. I wouldn't change places with that crowd!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Oh me either. I often wonder why so many drug problems and suicides there are in the Hollywood scene. I guess they get to the top and still don't like themselves very much. It is true. Such a waste. I guess it's true what they say - it's lonely at the top. I'll stay down here!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- I love it at the bottom of the barrel. There's no where to go but up, plus that slime on the bottom is really fun to play with!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I like the no where to go to but up idea! Touché! I'm mighty happy to be down here playing in the slime too:)

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