Jealousy Is Rottenness to the Bones

Definition

Before I begin, let's first define jealousy. Giving a definition might seem elementary, but humor me here, there might be an aspect of it that you're unfamiliar with.

From Wikipedia I found a satisfactory definition: "Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. Jealousy differs from envy in that jealousy is about something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy refers to something one does not have and either wants to acquire or to prevent another from acquiring." The quote is verbatim from Wikipedia.

Another definition from a Webster's dictionary. Jealous: Intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness, hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage, distrustfully watchful, etc. Jealousy: A jealous disposition, attitude, or feeling etc.

There is a specific type of jealousy called, delusional jealousy. "Delusional jealousy, Morbid jealousy, or Othello syndrome is a psychiatric disorder in which a person holds a delusional belief that their spouse or sexual partner is being unfaithful." Very scary!

Actually I got the title for this hub from a scripture in the Bible, (I'm just saying).


Now what

Getting that, (research), out of the way, now I muse. This is one of the deepest, darkest, most frightening, topics that I've taken on to date, so I'll do my usual, and try to keep it as light as possible, using my signature scenarios.

Jealousy can be found in all types of relationships. In familial, it includes, spousal, sibling, and parental. It can also be found in the workplace, the recreational arena, which would include, sports, school playground, etc. In addition, it can be found among friends, neighbors, acquaintances, etc. Any situation where two people come together can spark jealousy. If I see that this hub is getting a little long I'll make a sequel. Deal! Here goes.

To begin, let's establish a few characters. They are, Suspicious Sam and his wife Innocent Irene. How about Little Bad Bobby, and his Sweet Sister Suzy. Here we have Wanna Be Model Mother Mary, and Model Daughter Daisy. What about workmates, Diligent Danny and Slacker Steve. On to Best Athlete Adam and rival, Second Best, Brian. Okay, now to good friends, I Got the Best Betsy and, I Could Care Less Carrie. Okay one more, Nasty Neighbor Ned, and Kind Hearted Ken. When we say that jealousy is rottenness to the bone, some of these characters will prove that beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Scenario one

Let's explore the relationship between Suspicious Sam and his wife Innocent Irene. Suspicious Sam is by all accounts a pretty good looking guy, and Innocent Irene has always been considered easy on the eye. In his single years, Suspicious Sam was known to have an eye for the ladies, at times having more than one girlfriend at a time. Sweet Innocent Irene, has always only had eyes for Suspicious Sam. Because Irene was very attractive, innocently she's always attracted stares from both men and women, which annoyed Sam. In time Irene has their first child, gaining a substantial amount of weight, Sam is not too put out about that. Leaving out all the particulars, Irene loses the weight after about a year, looking pretty much the way she use to. Sam, asks, why she's losing weight, forgetting that her physical features were what attracted him in the first place. He begins to question her every move, even her trips to the supermarket. He shows up at home unexpectedly. On outings, even a simple hello from any man, even the grocery clerk, sparks angry outbursts from Sam. No amount of convincing from Irene seems to console Sam. The marriage suffers.

Let's switch this around a little bit and make Irene the Jealous one. Sam's very friendly and outgoing. Never thinking about another woman, maybe not giving Irene the attention that he use to, nevertheless no other woman interests him. In her eyes, every woman is a threat, and she acts on her suspicions, alienating anyone that she perceives as a viable threat. Winding up friendless, due to her suspicions.


Scenario two

Now we have Little Bad Bobby and his Sweet Sister Suzy. Bobby is the first born, Suzy came about two years later. Bobby was always the center of attention. Then comes Suzy, cute as a button, the center of attention of all, but his parents always tries to treat both fairly. However Suzy has such a winning personality, that all outsiders are drawn to her. Bobby is spoiled, selfish, self-centered, and not easy to warm to, (oh, yeah, you can say that about a kid). Both are old enough, (about 6 & 8), to know what they are doing. Well anyway, whenever Sweet Sister Suzy gets a compliment within earshot of Little Bad Bobby, he takes offense and does all in his power to make her life miserable. For instance, once when both were in the presence of grandmother, with grandmother trying to elicit conversation from both. Suzy responds, Bobby does not. He sulks in the corner not talking, while Suzy and grandmother carry on a lively conversation. Sweet Suzy tries, without success to bring Bad Bobby into the conversation, to no avail. Bobby leaves the room, not returning for awhile. When he returns, this time with a coy little smile, even contributing to the conversation, a little. Grandmother wonders why, oh well, at least he warmed up a bit. Well, guess why. Okay, I'll tell you. After grandmother leaves, Sweet Suzy goes into her room, all of a sudden, mother hears a blood curdling scream coming from Suzy's room. Mother runs to see what causes it. Baaaad Bobby has torn all the heads off all of Suzy's Barbie dolls and pulled out all of the hair. Need I say more!


Scenario three

Let's explore the relationship between Wanna Be Model Mother Mary and Model Daughter Daisy. Both women are beautiful, tall, leggy, smooth creamy complexion, gorgeous hair and all the characteristics required for a model. Although Wanna Be Model Mother Mary's time has passed to be a high fashion model, she does get work as the mother type, which doesn't suit her. However, Model Daughter Daisy has all the work that she can handle. Did I mention that Daisy has low self esteem, from years of Mary's constant put downs. Mary never misses a chance to point out Daisy's supposed flaws, such as her slightly crooked nose, which nobody but the two of them notice. Or her hair that is not as luxurious as her mother's, (Daisy occasionally wears extensions). Well during a particularly stressful photo shoot for Daisy, (she's looking especially stunning). Wanna Be Model Mother Mary is in rare form, on her usual tyrannical tirade, (green eyed monster at work). "You see if your hair was a little thicker, you wouldn't have to add these things to it, (pointing to Daisy's hair extensions), and oh my goodness you've put on weight, (not), and what's wrong with your toenails, didn't you get a pedicure,"............. and on, and on. Daisy has been on the verge of a breakdown already, and this does not help. She runs from the shoot in utter frustration. Mary, "now what's wrong with her, if she can't hack it, perhaps I can fill in," she says to the photographer, who looks on in complete shock. Their relationship continues on a downward spiral.

Let's sneak in another couple. Good Son George, and Jealous Dad Jack. George has had a good relationship with his mother, from birth, not so much with Jack. Jack has never given George a break, always criticizing everything about him, up to and including the care that he gives to his mother. George always does everything that jack tells him, but nothing he does is ever good enough. Jealous Dad Jack takes an opportunity to take Good Son George down a peg, in front of all at a family picnic, by slyly calling into question his manhood, says, "Hey George, here's your apron, oh and by the way you might want to look in the mirror and check on your hair." Silence falls on the crowd, everyone looks on in embarrassment for both, George and Jack. No one is laughing.


Can we continue

Well this hub is getting a little long. I think we should continue in another hub. Don't you! I said at the outset that if it got a little long I'd break and continue later. So now, do you want to know what happens with the other characters? If so, let me know with your comments.

© 2009 Alfreta Sailor

More by this Author


Comments 51 comments

Waren E profile image

Waren E 7 years ago from HAS LEFT THE BUILDING............

I wish there were a pill for jealousy,jealousy is so unpredictable for every one,and leads to much regret for some,2 years ago my girlfriend went on an other Island close to mine without telling me a thing,even though she had many opportunities to inform me,first there was unimaginable pain and suspicion from her actions, then strange uncontrollable imaginations and scenarios of her with better looking guys by an imaginary swimming pool:(, the jealousy was driving me insane,I through all her real stuff outside as a result, terminating the relationship, but the pain felt so real and my actions seem so reasonable and valid at the time,It turns out I was so wrong,my judgment was rendered useless by jealousy, I still regret it all to this day!:(

I never thought I was that vulnerable to jealousy,

I guess we all just have to live and learn!:)


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you Waren, for sharing that experience, and your honesty. Won't get much of that. (I'm just saying). These kinds of experiences have a way of teaching us a lesson. I wish the best for you and your ex. Thanks you for stopping.


BkCreative profile image

BkCreative 7 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

There is so much of this in our culture fastfreta!

Is it the culture - you know 'buy this, buy that, keep up with the Joneses,' your possessions make you the better person - even though credit and debt has put us in a downward spiral.

I have heard people spew such jealous comments that you can just look at them and see the green. I've had to remove myself from the presence of such people because they are certainly deficient - and will no doubt stab me in the back.

We waste so much time on things that don't matter. We have to learn to let go.


Barbara  7 years ago

I can relate to the jealousy stuff, It was in a time when I had low self esteem and everything seemed to be a threat. I tried not to feel that way but, my feelings were on the mark. Sometimes your feelings are not right but sometimes they are. It is something that should be worked on whether it is right or wrong.


Veronica Allen profile image

Veronica Allen 7 years ago from Georgia

I've been on both ends of this feeling. Each time it wasn't fun. Improper jealousy has a way of destroying everyone it touches.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Bk, Barbara, and Veronica all, for those heartwarming and honest answers. WOW, who knew that an article would bring out the best in everyone. Honesty is sometimes so cleansing, so I hope the best for all. Thanks, stay tuned for the sequel.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

Very interesting scenarios, But it's true jealousy is a green eyed monster that destroy people and realtaionships.

keepup the good work. creativeone59


Kimberly Bunch profile image

Kimberly Bunch 7 years ago from EAST WENATCHEE


ashleyr24 7 years ago

I don't know about everyone else, but I'd like to see you continue on with a follow up Hub on the rest of these characters. Jealousy, such an ugly trait!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you creative59, Kimberly, and ashleyr, thank you all for stopping by, and ashleyr I will continue with the sequel.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 7 years ago from London, UK

It is a negative trait but sometimes its the first natural feeling a person gets - we are all but flesh.

From a material point of view, over the years I have come to learn that there is a time for everything. Some people progress faster than others - and those that progress late sometimes tend to be more successful than those who started out first. Exactly, last Tuesday my Pastor was telling us how at a certain time in his life, all his friends were driving posh cars and he was just on foot. (no car). He didn't understand, after all he was serving God and those with Posh cars were not even true Christians. He did not get jealous but it hurt a bit.

Well, as time went on people were dropping keys to brand new cars at the Altar in his Church. Brand new Cars parked outside.(not all in one day) He couldn't believe it and cried, thanking God.


terrimak 7 years ago

Great hub. Jealousy, in our home growing, was based on two things: how you looked and what you had. Things engrained for such a long time are very hard to overcome. Good writing.


Philipo profile image

Philipo 7 years ago from Nigeria

I love this hub. Jealousy is both positive and negative. It is bound to happen. Even God said "You must not have any other God than me because I am a jealous God".


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you terrimak and Philipo for your comments. And oh yes, Philipo I actually intended to add that about jealousy having a positive too, but as I saw how long my hub was getting I decided to omit it for now. Thank you for adding it though. Again thank you both.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you Lady_E for that very interesting example.


Vizey profile image

Vizey 7 years ago

I thank you for your fine research on Relationships. Jealousy is linked to hatred, and hatred is linked violence and violence is linked to destruction.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you Vizey, that is a profound statement, I wish I had said that. Thanks for stopping by, please come again soon.


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina

Yes I want to hear more!! Great Hub I love your writing style.

dori


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Finally my second request to continue, so yes I will. Thanks fortunerep.


create a page profile image

create a page 7 years ago from Maryland, USA

Hi fastfreta. I like this topic. Excellent writing (as usual). I look forward to part 2 with great anticipation. I rated you up. I know you will soon reach the 100 mark.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks again create a page, I will get on it soon. I look forward eagerly when that day comes that I get that 100. Even though it doesn't stay there, I will take a picture of it for posterity, (smile).


anglnflt4ua profile image

anglnflt4ua 7 years ago from Bay Area, CA

Jealousy does run rampant...even among family which is so ridiculous. I guess it's just something we have to deal with no matter what. Interesting and entertaining read and will look for your sequel.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you anginflt4ua, for your comment, and for stopping by, please stop by again soon. The sequel is on its way.


june688 profile image

june688 7 years ago

I think jealousy is not very bad. It will let us to try to get things done.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Of course jealousy in some cases might not be bad, however what I wrote about is the destructive type of jealousy. Thanks june688 for stopping by, please come again soon. Check out my second installment of this hub.


Helen Cater profile image

Helen Cater 7 years ago from UK

Jealousy can touch all our lives in good and bad ways. I have experienced this on both sides. Well written hub.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Helen, hope that you will go over and read part II and, when I finish it part III.


Helen Cater profile image

Helen Cater 7 years ago from UK

I am right on it now.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks again Helen.


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 7 years ago from London, UK

great Hub. I was a magnet of other people jealousy. I never realised. I never bosted, have an outstanding look, just a nice home, never critized. I am a very qiet person yet I attracted jealousy like anything. Unfortunately, it broke up my home because they influenced him so much. Critisized me none stop yet I never done anything, just got with my life. I think jealousy is very detroying.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Hello, hello, I think it's a so sad how jealousy can totally ruin lives, and no matter what we do on our own, we can't seem to stem the tide once it's put in motion. I truly hope you have weathered the storm of your past situation. Whatever the case, continue to hold your head high and don't let others problems phase you.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Aha! I see you have written a hub about an old enemy of mine. Jealousy is like love's shadow - dark and unfortunately omnipresent. Thanks for sharing your thoughts as well as your research, it should put things in perspective :D


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Cris A for stopping by, please stop by again.


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 7 years ago from South Africa

Fascinating Hub. Thanks for sharing so much and will get into the next part soon.

Love and peace

Tony


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks tonymac for stopping by, hope to see you again soon.


Kim Garcia 7 years ago

Scary deep dark secret behavioral problems for many. You nailed it fastfreta!!

Scenario three is the one that tries its best to lurk around and raise its nasty head. Mother, daughter dynamics begin to change once the beautiful daughter hits early teens. This scenario would hit home for me if I was the critical type, (thank you God) for a heart of compassion, but there are times that I would love to drink from her fountain of youth. I know that sounds morbid, but being reminded every day of what once was is not a pleasant emotion, and one I have to keep in check regularly. I've learned to rejoice as there's a time and season for everything under the sun. Just wish gravity would be a bit more forgiving. Thanks for these words of wisdom!! Peace n' Blessings!! ~K


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Kim for stopping by, hope you read part 2 & 3, part 4 is coming soon.


loveofnight profile image

loveofnight 7 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

this is definitely a good read...thx 4 sharing


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks loveofnight for stopping by, I hope you read all segments. Hope to see you again soon.


maggs224 profile image

maggs224 7 years ago from Sunny Spain

I have seen your name on forums and comments and on other peoples hubs and today I thought that I would come and see what your hubs are like and this is the first one I have read. What a treat it was, your writing style is wonderful you paint vivid word pictures and your senerios are so realistically drawn. I can't wait to read the rest of this series and then on to the rest of your hubs. You have instantly won me over I am your fan. Excellent hub Excellent writer


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks maggs, having you as a fan is a treat. You're an inspiration for me to continue writing. I love this community, because of finding ones such as yourself from places in the world that I'd love to visit. I guess I'll visit vicariously through hubbers like you. Thanks again for stopping. Looking forward to hear from you again soon.


BookFlame 6 years ago

Jealousy causes so much pain, it's evil! There's something of the devil himself in a jealous person, for he/she is really out to "get" the object of the jealousy, and would probably murder the person if he/she could get away with it. That's what Othello did to his innocent wife in Shakespeare's play. Shakespeare called jealousy "the green-eyed monster." Truly hateful behavior in its nastiest form. Good job, O Fast One!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you so much BookFlame for your insightful comments. Thanks also for stopping by and taking the time to read my hub, please stop again soon.


stars439 profile image

stars439 6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Some feelings go way down to the bones. I can relate to jealousy. Everyone likes to feel important and loves attention. Jealousy is everywhere, but we have to live with it. In love, jealousy can be dangerous sometimes. Wonderful hub and a lot of knowledge to learn from it. God Bless you Dear Heart.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks stars439, I concur. Glad you stopped over, please come again.


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

I had write about jealousy before. I think there are positive and negative jealousy. I get different side from this hub. You have good point about this topic. thanks


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks prasetio for stopping, I'll go over and take a look at yours. Thank you and please come again soon.


DivineScribe profile image

DivineScribe 6 years ago

I simply enjoyed reading this hub, its sooo true. We need a wake up call.

God bless you


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks DivineScribe, I hope you go on to read the whole series. Please come back and visit again.


BRANCH66 profile image

BRANCH66 6 years ago from Pittsburgh

Hey thanks, I really like this I'm going on to part 2 now. Keep It 100


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Branches, I hope you appreciate the entire series. See you at the next one. Thank you again for stopping. You're too kind.

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