Jeannieinabottle for President 2012

My Major Announcement

My fellow Americans (and any other folks reading this), I have a major announcement I would like to make and I feel Hubpages is the best website to make this most important declaration. I also feel that July 4th is the best day to do it. My friends, you are reading history in the making!

I, Jeannieinabottle (a.k.a. Jeannie or that weird chick on Hubpages), am announcing my intention to run for the President of the United States of America in 2012. I know! This is an amazing moment in U.S. history. Of course, I have no idea how to really run for president, but it seems like everyone else is giving it shot, so why not me?

As you can imagine, I am really excited. I hope I can count on you for your vote. After all, last time I checked, I have over 750 followers on Hubpages. That seems like enough to get this campaign started. I feel like I am reasonably well-liked, so maybe I sort of have a shot at this. Sure, I have no political experience at all, but I am not going to let a little thing like that stop me.

I am hoping to run as an Independent candidate. Perhaps I can get Hillary Clinton to run with me as the Vice President candidate. After all, one of us needs to know what we are doing. That is certainly not going to be me, so I sure hope she is willing to team up with me.

You may ask, "Jeannie, what type of issues are you going to tackle? What are you going to change once you become President?" Well, folks, I am happy to share some campaign promises with you. Sure, I probably won't follow through with all of them, but why not make some promises I can't keep just like every other politician?


Changing Government Spending

Quite frankly, I feel like the government spends too much money. I mean, when I am President, I totally want lots of money, but everyone else - you are getting salary decreases. There are plenty of positions that are simply unnecessary. I am getting rid of those positions as soon as I take office.

Then again, I have a number of friends that work for the government. Don't worry - I won't get rid of your jobs. As a matter of fact, I will give all of my friends raises. Hey, wait... is that legal? Pretend I never said that!

More Lottery Winnings

I feel like as a nation, we need more lottery drawings. Most of all, we need more lottery winnings. We need something to look forward to as a society. So let's start awarding more people. Let's just start passing out lottery winnings. I am sure with all the people I fire in government, there will be plenty of extra cash to toss into the lottery winnings.

Just remember, folks, you've got to play to win. I am not trying to encourage an entire nation to become gamblers, but hey, have a little fun with the lottery. There should probably be more scratch off tickets, too.

A Little History for You...

Flex Spending Accounts

If you've read my hub, "My Email to the President," you are already familiar with my frustration due to the new health care laws. Anyone with a Flex Spending Account is no longer allowed to purchase over-the-counter medications without a prescription. This is silly since the whole purpose of buying an over-the-counter medication is to avoid a trip to the doctor's office.

When I become President, you will be able to use your Flex Spending Accounts again to buy Claritin, Tylenol, Prilosec, or any other over-the-counter drugs that your heart desires. In fact, perhaps the standards should become even more relaxed. For instance, why not start adding other fun stuff like vitamins, vitamin water... maybe just water... how about soda? Oh, the list will go on and on. Awesome!

Gay Marriage Will Be Legal!

Gay marriage is going to be legal. I don't understand why this is an issue. Any person that wants to marry another person should be able to do it. Why do people get upset over this? If you don't like gay marriage, well... don't marry a gay person. That is so super easy. The basic theme here is: mind your own business! Gay people are awesome. If you are allowed to marry the person you want to marry, why are you denying that right to someone else?

Wait a minute... did this hub just take a serious turn? That can't be good. Let's get back on track.

Let's Wrap This Up

In closing, I would be honored to be your President. I hope I can count on you for your vote. I believe we can change this country and make it the best in the world!

Of course, there is still that stinky economy problem, but I am sure once I start giving out plenty of lottery winnings, all our financial issues will be behind us. Then again, if you saw my credit card bills you would realize I know nothing about finances, but let's not discuss that. Thank you for reading and I hope to see you at the polls!

An Election Poll

Can I count on your vote for this election?

  • No, you know nothing about politics and you scare me a little.
  • No. Just no!
  • Yes, you are at least better than the other guys.
  • Yes, when can I expect some lottery winnings?
  • Yeah, sure, sure.
  • Can I have fries with that? Wait... what did you ask?
See results without voting

More by this Author


Comments 53 comments

Bretsuki profile image

Bretsuki 5 years ago from California USA

Hello Jeanniinabottle, very funny hub, you covered just about everything and everyone.


gregas profile image

gregas 5 years ago from Corona, California.

Hi Jeannie, Very original and entertaining. You have as much of a chance as any of then, especially if you can get Hillary to go on the ride with you. You should have at least 183 votes. You've got mine. Greg


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thank you both for your supportive comments. I feel this is a positive step forward in the campaign. I look forward to becoming the President, and with great supporters like you, I am positive Hillary Clinton and I can win. I just need to find her and convince her this is a good idea. How tough can that really be?


nycgrl profile image

nycgrl 5 years ago from New York

Ha, love it! Will totally be your campaign manager :-) Voted up and funny!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Yes, that will be perfect. I don't even have a crazy past or anything, so we won't have to work to cover up scandalous photos. Thanks for the vote up!


chander mehra profile image

chander mehra 5 years ago from Delhi

good luck. what are your thoughts on terrorism? And foreign policy?


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

You got my vote!!! You'll probably have to wait until 2016 since Obama has 2012 covered.

I'd appreciate being Speaker Of The House....I won't bring tears only fears!! Hail to our next president!! Up/funny/awesome!!! :)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

chander mehra - Uh-oh. Terrorism and foreign policy... ummmm... I will need Hillary Clinton for that one.

Sunshine625 - Yes, maybe I need to wait until 2016. I just felt so enthused, I thought I should step right up. Thanks for the votes!


gregas profile image

gregas 5 years ago from Corona, California.

Hi Jeannie, These days we can't have a campaign without some kind of scandal. For some reason that always makes for good publicity. Do you think you can manage something. Personally I don't think you have to worry about Obama. With a few good stories and photos we can sew it up for you. Have fun with this. It was a great and fun idea for all that get involved. Greg.


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Greetings President! a little premature I know, but I reckon you've got it in the bag! there has to be 183 votes here for sure, as nycgrl has got in before me for campaign manager, please can I be deputy? also gregas is on to something here with the scandal idea it would be great publicity ... anyway must go - lots to do, things to organise!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

gregas - Maybe you right. Perhaps a little scandal is good for anyone. I will have to think of something.

Movie Master - Yes, you can certainly be deputy. I will need all the help I can get.

Thank you both for the comments!


Ralph Deeds profile image

Ralph Deeds 5 years ago

Ha! It might be more realistic for you to shoot for Thadeus McCotter's running mate.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Hmmm... you might be right, but my heart is set on Hillary! Thanks for the comment.


Cogerson profile image

Cogerson 4 years ago from Virginia

I am sure I can find some support for you in the Virginia primaries. Funny hub. Voting up and funny.


gregas profile image

gregas 4 years ago from Corona, California.

The more Santorum opens his mouth, the better your odds become. Greg


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Cogerson - Thank you for your support. Virginia is a lovely state. I especially enjoy Kings Dominion and Virginia Beach. Thanks for the votes!

gregas - This is a very valid point. I feel like a winner already. Thank you!


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

Can I work on your campaign? I am an artist. I can paint signs and come up with slogans. Here's one . . . Go full throttle. Let Jeannie out of the bottle! 2012. Or . . . Jeannieinabottle - Make the American wish come true

Don't worry about expenses too much. Will work for food.


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

I like WD Curry's sign ideas! Jeannie, you are hilarious. I chuckled while reading this hub. Awesome!


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

Such a funny hub Jeannie. I wonder how did I miss it...

when I was young...I wanted to be in the government and would rant about stuff I wanted to change...but later on saw how corrupt these people are...changed my mind...lol

I hear ya Ms. President...FSA should include my painkillers and claritin.

My vote is for ya!

Happy Birthday dear and gotta share this funny yet interesting hub!


iamaudraleigh 4 years ago

Great hub...voted up!!!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

WD Curry 111 - That is perfect. I especially like the part about no money being necessary. That is always the best type of worker. Thank you for your support!

Victoria Lynn - I am glad you enjoyed it. Now I just hope I can count on your vote this year...

Ruchira - Thanks so much for sharing and for the birthday wishes. Hopefully, I will get your vote this coming election and that will be even better. Hehehe.

iamaudtraleigh - I am glad you liked it. Thanks for the vote!


Millionaire Tips profile image

Millionaire Tips 4 years ago from USA

I'll vote for you too Jeannie, as long as you don't call me with those robotic phone calls and bombard me with negative attack ads!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks! And don't worry. I won't bother you with negative attack ads. Now, let me tell you why the other candidates stink....


KDuBarry03 4 years ago

I couldn't help but laugh at your first line "My Fellow Americans"! For some odd reason, I pictured President Clinton's voice in my mind...LOL! And you are right about the gay rights being legal. I really think people should have this mentality (from Sikhism teachings): "Marriage is the union between two souls. The body is only a temporary host." This belief is also shared in Buddhism :)

Thank you for giving me the best laugh of today!

-KD


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada

Madam President,

Don't worry about not knowing how to run for president...Newt didn't know either and he didn't stop until he started bouncing checks all over town!

I shall sign your petitions, carry your campaign literature, and drive homeless bums to the polls on your behalf! I can only hope that will be enough...

Thomas


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I still want the campaign manager position! I know how to get things done. You are guaranteed a win with Sunshine in your corner!

Thomas and Keith will come in very handy also!:)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

I am going to come over to America, change my passport, secretly you understand, I know someone who knows someone else with a skill for making money and passports, as long as the ink decides to dry this time, and yes I will vote along with every other American citizen! lol! yeah you for president!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much for the support, everybody! I was starting to become concerned that the campaign wasn't going anyway. Thank you for the future votes!


lambservant profile image

lambservant 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest

As long as you submit a legal, birth certificate and social security number, I'll vote for you.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks for the support. It is a good thing I wasn't born in Hawaii. You just can't trust those Hawaiian birth certificates.


Janine Huldie profile image

Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

Jeannie, this was so very cute and loved it. You would probably be a much better choice than what we have been given in this upcoming election. Thank you for a good laugh tonight and have voted and shared too!!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much. I am happy to have your support for the upcoming election... or at least on HubPages. :-)


molometer profile image

molometer 4 years ago

Well we have had Mrs Thatcher and she did just as bad a job as any man. You get my vote. If it was allowed. lol


nanderson500 profile image

nanderson500 4 years ago from Seattle, WA

Why not, you seem just as qualified as anyone running! Voted up and awesome.


lambservant profile image

lambservant 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest

I hope when you become president that you will remember to pay hubpages writers $100 per letter. If you can promise me that, I will definitely vote for you.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thank you for your support, molometer, nanderson500, and lambservant. I am coming closer to winning this election each day! And ummm... as far as that $100 per letter, lambservant, we'll see. ;-)


Katharella profile image

Katharella 4 years ago from Lost in America

heh.. I love this! I'll totally like totally vote for you if I can have a job emptying the Jeannie Presidential Waste Baskets!! ha.. (that's my sneaky way of snooping into your discarded hubs and getting to hang at the White House in one shot) :P I'll even have time to update my own!! ugh :D ha! Great hub I'll vote ya up here even if you're not on the ballot! (of course there's write in's ::ahem:: lol)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

You know what, I am pretty sure I can find job like that for you if I am president. ;-) Thank you for your support.


Weekend Reader profile image

Weekend Reader 4 years ago

I'm sorry, Jeannie, I already threw my support to Arthur Tiger (http://www.arthur4prez.com/) who has the absolutely cutest secret service! But I believe in democracy, so let the race be run, and may the best candidate win!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Somehow I will just have to forgive you. :-) Thanks for the comment!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much for your support in this matter. And no worries... I don't even like to kill bugs! Thanks for the vote up!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

You got MY vote, Jeannie! :) Voted up and sharing!


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Best of luck to you; you are a worthy candidate and I look forward to meeting you on the campaign trail!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Oh my now it's getting hard - you and Bill seem to be running mates! Lol. I'd vote for you or him for sure! Lol. Now which would be the lesser of the evils? Hahaha


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City

Hah! This is so cute! I like this Idea of announcing that you actually chose to run for presidency, wow!

I guess my friend Billybuc wasn't the only one on hubpages who's actually tried such a campaign, cool stuff! Hehe!!!!!! Funny........


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thank you for your support, everyone! This is going to be a tough election now. I never dreamed I would have to run against such an awesome candidate like Billybuc. This is going to be a tough election!


suziecat7 profile image

suziecat7 4 years ago from Asheville, NC

You've got my vote!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Hooray! Thank you for your support!


C J Johnson profile image

C J Johnson 4 years ago from BC, Canada

Cute! You have my support!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thank you! I am starting to think I just might win this!


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Uh, Jeannie, I think it might be a little late. LOL. :-)


Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

My name is Alecia Murphy and I approve this hub. But I voted already- by the way, do you encourage voting often?! LOL!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Sigh, yes, Victoria Lynn, I believe I have missed my opportunity on this one. Bummer. I can still hope Hillary will run again in 2016... perhaps we will be running mates. ;-)

Hi Alecia, thank you for your support even if you did not vote for me. Maybe next time. :-)

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