List of Words and Phrases That Famous Outlaws Never Said

Butch Cassidy And The Wild Bunch.
Butch Cassidy And The Wild Bunch.
The only known photo of Black Bart.
The only known photo of Black Bart.

Who or what is "bad?"

The word, "bad," defined can easily be found in the faces, lives cast in historical documents and books, and tales told around a potbelly stove in some forsaken facsimile of a general store or in the obscure shade of some unnoticed Oak where old, seasoned men with wrinkles in their expressions gather to talk. Just talk.

Acceptable words used to preface the old men's tales are "outlaws," and "gunslingers." Sure there were more names, but most of them aren't fit to use in mixed company. And if you and I rode with these specially-carved men, we would understand why.

The James Gang.
The James Gang.
Wyatt Earp, 1928.
Wyatt Earp, 1928.

Outlaws were what they were.

These "outlaws," and "gunslingers," were real men. They didn't have an ounce of hypocricy in their blood as well as cowardice. They either beat you with their gun or fist. And you stayed whipped. The desire of a rematch never surfaced in your heart again.

But somehow we loved these men during and after they were gone with the history they helped to birth. I can't explain this process and neither can you. It's been tried and tried over the years in so-called "tell-all" books, films, and songs, but all ended-up laughable failures. I do admire those now-forgotten authors, poets, songwriters and film makers who tried to capture the men who led these lawless lives and sadly, died beyond description.

William Bonney, AKA, Billy, The Kid.
William Bonney, AKA, Billy, The Kid.

Only a few of the famous outlaws and gunslingers who lived in early America:

Younger-James Gang.
Younger-James Gang.
Doc Holliday
Doc Holliday
John Wesley Hardin
John Wesley Hardin
Johnny Ringo.
Johnny Ringo.

This is eye-opening.

And throughout the numerous mazes of life, another stunning piece of information has been discovered. A remarkable, stunning, and awesome

List of Words and Phrases That Famous Outlaws Never Said

  • "Sure, I will prove how fast my gun is. But please give me a three-second head start."
  • "Whiskey? You're an idiot, barkeep. You know that I only drink milk."
  • "No way am I going in that saloon. A lot of sin and evil can be found in there."
  • "Now that the cattle drive is over, I guess you will want to drink, chase saloon girls and play poker." "No, boss. I just want to curl up with a good book."
  • "Hey, 'cookie!' Can I have a third helping of these week-old beans?"
  • "The night shift? Hey, boss, pick me!"
  • "Hey, if you drovers start telling vulgar jokes, I am going to leave."
  • "Sheriff, I came over here to tell you about three burly guys in the "Lost Trail Saloon," who were saying ugly words and getting a bit intoxicated."
  • "Did you call me Billy, the Kid? I ain't no goat!"
  • "Sheriff, lock me up. Now. I broke your law that says I can walk across the street while wagons are coming into town."
  • "Hey, 'Margie,' my favorite saloon girl. Would you tell me how you get your skin to be so soft?"
  • "Hey, "Janice,' the farmer's daughter. No, I do not want to take a walk after dark. I am not that kind of drover."
  • "Watch it, fellas. I need to get under your table and hide from 'Big Larry,' the trail bully."
  • "Oh, here. Take my gun that's worth a thousand dollars. I will walk to Virginia City."
  • "Hey, 'Lillian,' my favorite saloon owner. Got any new recipes I can have?"
  • "Hey, trail boss. I got to get something off my chest with you. I was the one who pushed you into the mud hole back on the trail. We all needed a laugh, and you were handy, so here I am confessing."
  • "Hey, Doc Holliday, would you care to take a look at this wisdom tooth for me?"
  • "Hey, Doc Holliday, I hear that you are nuts about Wyatt Earp."
  • "Me? Take a drink with you? When I am not driving cattle, I am delivering sermons to people, so I need to prepare my sermon for tomorrow."
  • "Hey, guys. Want to have some fun? Here comes that John Wesley Hardin. Let's pretend we are all asleep and snoring like we are cutting wood."

Note: Hey, it could happen.

A remarkable presentation.

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Comments 7 comments

DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 19 months ago from Oakley, CA

Clever, amusing take on the old-time outlaws.

No, I'm sure not one of them ever even thought, much less uttered, any of those things!

Voted up and funny.


Lee Cloak 19 months ago

A brilliant hub, I do love to read stuff related to the old west, very amusing, great images, thanks for sharing this, voted up, best wishes, Lee


cmoneyspinner1tf profile image

cmoneyspinner1tf 19 months ago from Austin, Texas

Great HUB, Mr. Avery. Here's the thing that tickles me. Lawmen have a hard time catching these outlaws and bringing them to justice. Yet somehow the group manages to find time to pose for a picture! With or without guns. :) I have a large family. Do you know what it's like to try to arrange for everyone to get together for a photograph? Even at weddings we couldn't get everybody in the family photo! (O.o) :)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

cmoneyspinner1tf,

Thank you, friend, for your warm comment. I hope things in Austin are okay. It is 83 degrees. Yes, 83 degrees at 11:24 p.m., cdst, where I live in Alabama.

I too appreciate things related to the Old West. And your point about them posing for photos is very true.

Thanks and keep in touch.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Lee Cloak,

Thanks for taking time to stop by and read my hub. I appreciate your comment so much.

Have a great day and keep in touch.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

DzyMsLizzy,

My faithful hubber friend. I would not make a good outlaw either. Notice the cute paradox, (good outlaw)?

I get one in ever so often.

Seriously, thanks for your friendship and comments.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 17 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Thank you ALL who read and left comments on this hub. I pray that something good happens to you all today.

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