I am Not a Modern-Day Adam
Explosion of courage
Walking around in the nude, and living in the nude has its drawbacks for a man in 2015. And so it is with the woman in the same situation. I never fully-realized this obviously-awkward way of living until recently although I was taught about Adam and Eve at youth.
At some times in my young life when I was eager to learn more about this famous Biblical duo, that for a young male dealing with puberty, (a male's serpent. Now think about that), it was really exciting to look at Eve without any stitch of clothing without receiving a fiery scolding from my mom. To her it appeared that my interest in Eve was the first step in my learning about Biblical times.
I was drawn to Eve
I was never that interested in Adam. No offense, God. I just wasn't wired to admire a nude man and for that matter, I still don't.
That goes double for Satan who was also in The Garden of Eden, but a talking snake? I know that if Satan, in the form of a snake, could talk, only God could pull that off, but in day-to-day life in Eden, I am still in a cloud of not understanding.
For me, living nude in a fast-paced, laser-tech society would be very impractical even if it were not illegal. Some think being nude is liberating. And it is to a point. But allow me one example. Let's say that on my day off I plan on enjoying myself just loafing around in the city park. Then, what a wonderful surprise. A pretty girl introduces herself to me and she never loses eye contact with me. I am visibly-moved by her statuesque demeanor.
"Let's sit down and talk," she says in such a nice voice.
What a mistake
I agree smiling as I bend over to find a nice spot of grass, but as soon as my behind hits the grass, I have mischosen a safe location in which to sit. I didn't notice the rag weeds growing and this plant's leaves scratch my tender skin and makes me squirm and scratch while the pretty young lady is probably entertained by my constant-moving. Finally I find a soft place for my butt. I smile with happiness.
"Nice welts. Red and swelled," she comments.
"Well, I tell you this," I respond. "If I had been wearing my jeans, this would have never happened."
This was just one of my own inconveniences of living in the nude. I told you I was taking a day off from my work. Well, my coworkers in my office at first were shocked at my nudity. But over time, the vulgar jokes and sexual enuendoes stopped. My boss explained that it was policy for employees to wear at least (one) article of clothing, so to skirt-by that problem, I just wear my Florsheim's and look natural.
Other adversarial areas
Ordering meat selections from my butcher, keeping a doctor's appointment are two more areas where I experience annoyance with living nude. Although most of these people have already seen me nude, they laugh like crazed mules each time I swagger inside their offices to do business with them.
I did want to comment about Eve before I finish this touchy essay. For me as a nude man in 2015, I would find it very difficult to ask a woman of Eve's station in life out for coffee. But in all honesty, she and I are both nude, so I will not experience self-consciousness. But Eve was personally crafted by God, our Creator and I would be so in awe of her perfect features, my nerves would eat me alive.
I have though found two benefits of living nude: I get to help pretty girls in peril in the bit city. True. When it rains, taxi drivers will not pick them up. What a selfish breed of men. But when I step off of the sidewalk in the nude and signal them to stop, although they stop out of curiosity, they do stop and each pretty girl in peril appreciates my gesture.
The other benefit is that I save a ton on buying clothes and washing powders.
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