Loving Your Dark-complexion Self.

Shades of the Same Race!!!

My young niece and one of her younger brothers.
My young niece and one of her younger brothers.
My Maternal Great-great Grand Aunt who does not resemble her sister my very dark-complexioned late Great-grand mother.
My Maternal Great-great Grandaunt who does not resemble her sister my very dark-complexioned late Great-grand mother.
My father was said to have been rejected by his maternal blood grand parents, because he was too dark. My grandfather who raised him could have passed for white.  His wife -- my grand mother was dark.  My father loved them completely.
My father was said to have been rejected by his maternal blood grand parents, because he was too dark. My grandfather who raised him could have passed for white. His wife -- my grandmother was dark. My father loved them completely.
My baby brother, his daughter, and his wife.
My baby brother, his daughter, and his wife.
My oldest nice.  Her mother is fair, and her father -- my brother -- is dark.
My oldest nice. Her mother is fair, and her father -- my brother -- is dark.

a Dark Complexion Equals Blackness:

DARK COMPLEXION IS BLACKNESS TO SOME:


Someone -- on the Hubpages -- asked the question, "Why Do Men Prefer Light-skinned Women? Do Women Think Light-skinned Men Are More Handsome? I loved both questions, though I must admit I know people in my family alone who would be offended by these questions. I started working on my answer, but it was so long I decided to make it a hub. I can only talk about my perspective on the fair and dark conflict.

In the Black community the conflict to fair-complexioned women or men traces back to slavery. The conflicts are the stories passed down within African-American families of the fairer slaves working in the main house while the darker ones worked in the field. In the abusive photos, on slavery, I have seen over the years the people -- of either gender -- were dark-complexioned.

Once, years ago, when I was watching a documentary on Blacks in America, there was a segment about young African-American children -- as young as five years old -- being placed in work camps on trumped-up charges ... -- in the early 20th century. I only remember seeing dark-complexioned children. This does not mean there were no abuses of fair-complexioned Blacks. To me that does not make sense. Still, I have never in all of my years seen any abusive photos of fairer-complexioned Blacks. Resentment within the African-American race is seen today.

My late maternal grandmother disliked fair complexioned blacks, but not any of her fair-complexioned grandchildren. Some of us are dark and some are fair. She never said a bad thing about any of her grandchildren's hue. She was not so nice about their fair-complexioned parents' though. She would say something in such a funny way that the person would not take her serious. As I grew older and heard her statements I despised them.

Once, when I was about nine years old I remember liking this boy. He was a year older than I was, cute, had a fair hue, and a medium size Afro. He was my first boyfriend, and I do not remember his name.

An older female friend of mine -- she was his classmate -- informed me that he liked me, thought I was cute, and wanted to be my boyfriend. It was the '70s, he had a Fro, so of course I said yes. I was so happy, but I could not tell any of my younger siblings, because they would have told my mother. My mother of course thought I was too young to have a boyfriend .... So, it was a secret.

The next day in school I decided to get a pass to see my cute new boyfriend. I looked into his class room and got the person's attention who was seated next to him. I gestured to that person to tap my boyfriend on his shoulder. My boyfriend looked up at me and I just beamed. He gave me a shy smile and I walked away happy.

After school, and outside my apartment building, my older friend came by to give me some shocking news about my new boyfriend. She said, "He wants to quit you".

"Quit me"?

"Yeah. He said you're cute but your too black and you embarrassed him today when you smiled at him."

I could not speak. How could I respond to such craziness. I was not taught to hate my black self nor my dark complexion so this offended and confused me. I did not know what to say. Still, my friend continued speaking through my hurt silencesaying, "I asked him why he asked you out yesterday, and he said he did not know you were so black until you smiled at him and he saw your white teeth."

That angered me. What was I supposed to have brown teeth? At that moment, to myself I swore off fair-complexioned guys. It lasted a day ....

Still the ironic thing about that boy telling my friend he was not interested in dark-complexioned girls was that she was as dark as I was if not darker.



I am older and complexion nor racedoes not matter to me at all. How a man treats me is what I look out for. Plus, I could not afford being any type of bigot with the mixture within my family. My son is fair-complexioned, and I have several relatives that are bi-racial. Some of my relatives are not bi-racial, but are fair-complexioned. I also have tons of dark-complexioned relatives that would put me in my place if I showed any type of hatred towards darker complexioned blacks.

Still, I have to answer the question on Why I believe men prefer light-complexioned women, and women believe fair-complexioned men are more handsome. Well, this answer takes me back to two young women I have watched on TV once -- years apart on two different programs – speaking on how people treated them so horribly for being dark complexioned as a child. Each decided they would never have a child with a dark-complexioned or black man. They did not want to have dark-complexioned children go through what they went through growing up. I must say they made me ill.

One of those two women had three children by a white man. He seemed like a really nice guy, but I kept thinking if she does not like her black self why would he like her in years to come? She hated the fact that she was sometimes mistaken for an African. That happens to most dark complexioned African-Americans. Myself included. The woman had issues.

The other woman was actually with a dark-complexioned black man, but she treated him horribly. She told him she would never have a child with him, but she would not leave him, because she loved him. I did not understand why he did not leave her. She was despicable!

Still, because of my personal experiences, and these two women, my answer, is both self-hatred for some, and a false sense of superiority from those who believe dark-complexioned people are beneath them. This is a very complexed subject, and makes most people uncomfortable. It is about as difficult as speaking to people honestly about race relations.

Thank God my seven year old son does not understand this nonsense, yet.


Please scroll down and leave a comment.

Thank you.


Comments 130 comments

teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 5 years ago

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. We have similar issues in the hispanic race. Your hub is touching and brings truth to the light. Glad to know that this has not held you back in pursuing the good in life.


gailalovesbijou profile image

gailalovesbijou 5 years ago from Wyomissing, PA

Beautiful, moving, heartfelt hub--and one of the reasons I love Hubpages. I love to read about what people are experiencing in their lives; it helps me grow as a person. Keep on shining! Voted up and interesting.


gailalovesbijou profile image

gailalovesbijou 5 years ago from Wyomissing, PA

Beautiful, moving, heartfelt hub--and one of the reasons I love Hubpages. I love to read about what people are experiencing in their lives; it helps me grow as a person. Keep on shining! Voted up and interesting.


roshall profile image

roshall 5 years ago from Ohio

Racial tension within our own race will probable always be there, it's sad but true. You did a great job writing and I find it very informative, thanks for info.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hi Adeaugustus,

Well, I must say, I have not had the problem -- in some time -- of others not wanting anything to do with me for being Black.

Though there were times some would question my presence in their place of employment or not hire me for being Black. Others would invite me to events held in that same place, or hire me, because I was a young human being. That along with my parents raising of my siblings and me is why I am not a bigot.

I think it is sad that you seem to have to go through that crap.

There are criminals in all races. LOL. That is just human nature. LOL. Sad to say.

I like that slogan, "GOOD PEOPLE, GREAT NATION". I have never heard of it before. Really cool.

I so appreciate your kind words on my work.

You Take Care,

N.E.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello Shoppergirlsplace,

I truly appreciate your praises.

Wow, I could not begin to understand what you had to endure, even if I had seen a bi-racial couple or two growing up. Or even playing with bi-racial children. In my family you would have just been my cousin. LOL.

I have cousins who are siblings that complexions vary from very fair to extremely dark. Some of the darker sisters have longer hair than the lighter ones. Funny.

I know that one of my childhood playmates -- and all of her siblings -- were bi-racial and all of them had different Black fathers. The mother never married any of their fathers.

Any man I ever saw -- in their apartment -- were actually business men. That was in the '70s. That shocked me. LOL. I am not sure why. I had an uncle ... who worked on Wall Street.

Children can be cruel. Still, I am not sure I did not ask my playmate what she was. That bothers me. Still, with my family make up, I probably did not.

I now realize that others had asked her that question, and she handled it pretty well on the outside. I have no clue what she felt, but listening to you not so great.

Again, thank you so much for your comments.

Take Care,

N.E.


shoppergirlsplace profile image

shoppergirlsplace 5 years ago from Sunny Florida

Wonderfully written, you express this so well. For me, growing in the inner city in Detroit with a black father and a white mother, I may as well had been from Mars.

Kids never asked me who I was, but what I was...

I just hope that one day we all learn to truly love, embrace, and appreciate who we all are as human beings.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Yeah, LOL, we call one of many of them, Rosa Parks!!! LOL.

Thanks -- as always -- for your comments Feenix.

Take Care,

N.E.


feenix profile image

feenix 5 years ago

N.E. all I know is that back in the day, light-skinned negroes had to sit in the back of the bus, too.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hey Whoisbid,

I am not really sure what you meant.

Once in a while a few people do not keep with commenting on the subject at hand. LOL. It is not often, but it does happen.

Still, for this article people seem to be talking about race. Though this article is about racial problems within the same group. It is about race so I am good with that. LOL.

Thank you so much for your comments.

Take Care,

N.E.


whoisbid profile image

whoisbid 5 years ago

It is amazing to see what people are actually thinking. Sometimes I think people want to talk about other things but I am wrong a lot of the time


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hey Hummingbird5356,

I agree with you.

Thanks for stopping by.

Take Care,

N.E.


Hummingbird5356 profile image

Hummingbird5356 5 years ago

People really need to forget about skin colour and think about the person inside. It is what is in your heart that is important.

Excellent hub.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hi Gulnazahmad,

Wow, I love your comments.

I really wish that was the way it is, but unfortunately for most people -- except you. Which is great. -- it is not like that.

I thank you so much for your lovely words.

Take Care,

N.E.


gulnazahmad profile image

gulnazahmad 5 years ago from Pakistan

This is a real thought provoking hub, we all should think that color never matters. It is actually the inner self which shows who is fair and who is not. Very useful and informative hub.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

All of what you say is so true. Sad to say.

I thank you for your comments.

Take Care,

N.E.


Scribelady55 profile image

Scribelady55 5 years ago from Richmond, Virginia

This article is timely. Apparently (and unfortunately) the issue of colorism is deep-rooted in African American communities.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello Skeeter747,

Thank you so much for your kind praise.

Take Care,

N.E.


skeeter747 profile image

skeeter747 5 years ago

Well Done! Great insight . Thanks for the read and look forward to reading more from you.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

THIS INFORMATION -- FOR SOME REASON -- DID NOT GET ON YESTERDAY. SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME, AND HERE THEY GO.

__________________________________________________________

Katharella, No Problem. LOL.

_________________________________________________________

Hello Danielle,

I know you addressed this to Katharella, but I realized I never saw South Pacific either. I am going to look for it on Netflix.

Interesting Song title.

Thanks for sharing.

N.E.

_________________________________________________________

Katharella,

Again, I know this is not addressed to me, but I hear ya about the gaming world not seeing race before graphics. It sound like the way life would be if we had no racial past. I like it. LOL.

Take Care,

N.E.

________________________________________________________

Hello Treasuresofheaven,

Wow, I truly thank you for your wonderful praise.

Take Care,

N.E.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hey Katharella,

I stopped watching O'Reilly -- LOL -- when he wanted a large companies to stop using rapper, Ludacris as a spokes person, because of his lyrics against women.

Cool, no problems with most Blacks until we realized he did not want rapper, Enimin to lose his spokes person income. Why? Fair and Balance my butt. LOL.

I do not even like Ludacris' music .... LOL.

Then I learned he was not an Independent, but a registered Republican. That is not a problem. Lying about it and pretend you are what you are not is. What a phony. LOL.

Wow, you actually saw your father go off to War?

My father had to be talked out of going to Vietnam. Crazy right. They would not take him, because his children were all under the age of ten or something like that. I still get ticked off with him about that. LOL.

You are talking about the Navajo Code Talkers? Yeah, I saw a documentary on them. It was way interesting. The long secrets they can keep, huh? LOL.

My son sees birthday parties, and do not know when we were not invited. LOL. Someone likes his toys and he wants to give it to them. Not so funny. LOL. Cost me a lot of money. LOL.

Hope to read that Hub soon!

Take Care,

N.E.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

lol you sound like me with Bill O'Rilly (sp?) guy. Shows how much I can tolerate him not even caring to look up how to spell his name lol. One minute, I'm going "yeah.. uh huh.. yep" then next I want to throw a brick at the TV LOL. So I just don't even watch him.

Now living in the south, I have heard there are KKK, but luckily I've not witnessed them. And hopefully for them I don't! We pretty much live how we want to live, and nobody's gonna tell us different! :)

I will get working on that hub, my friends in the game who seen my feed coming up were dropping comments how they loved the history, so I'm sure people here would like it too! :) The sad part was watching my dad at the young age of 17 go off to WW2 though. And something a lot of people who don't like the Mexican people, they don't get that the Mexican's and Indian's got together, and devised a language that nobody else could decipher! So they helped us come out ahead in that war. (As who really wins in a :( war! you know.) People need to learn more history as it was, then they'd not be so uptight.

If we could all just see the world through the eyes Children, it'd be a much better place. Like me and Skittles! We just want to BE HAPPY and not have anybody bring us down. (as Sorority life is like "barbies for grown ups lol) :)


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hi Katharella,

I hear ya, but i am just saying I was not taught to hate being Black. Instead I say my Black self. LOL.

I am loving Skittles. LOL. She sounds like a great friend.

Yeah, I have seen sun damage in a few fair-complexioned Black women. I does not look too cute. LOL. We think we can stay in the sun longer with no protection. No we cannot! LOL. We are human! LOL. Wrinkles was all I saw on that women faces.

That is the truth about the churches. You could attend if your just dropping by and they do not care about your race. That I do respect.

Your Native American friend is speaking from a fear most people of color -- including myself -- have of the KKK. we know they still want us dead. LOL. We would be silly to not be concerned about our safety.

I have never been a gamer. LOL. My siblings? OMG. How they run medical practices, a restaurant, or a house hold filled with children and grandchildren -- and are big time gamers -- I do not know. LOL. They do it though.

I have seen mean girls, but I truly forgot Lindsay's character was from Africa. LOL. Some people need to remember that Dave Matthews, and Charlize Theron are from South Africa. LOL. They are not Black Africans at all.

I cannot wait for your Hub on your family. It sounds interesting. Hey, people making judgments do not remember what John Brown, the abolitionist looked like. Judging a book from its cover I would have ran away from him, but I would have been making a grave mistake. LOL.

By the way, your father sounds a lot like my Pops. Oh, and my father's best friend growing up in the '40s and '50s was an Irish guy. They were best of friends.

Hum, at first I disagreed with your father's take in general about shades, but there is a healthy debate to be had about Black Africans past. LOL.

Still, with America and slavery? Well, sadly that is mostly how it was on some plantations. Still, I must admit my father would mostly agree with your father, because we debate this stuff all the time. LOL.

Katharella, you were not brought up to be a racist. As I see it. We -- Blacks -- were told we were inferior to whites in so many different ways all the time.

My mother was once called a monster on her first day of school, by the school bus driver. She was 5 years old. He did not want to help her on the bus. He did not want to touch her. Lucky for her a -- Caucasian -- woman she knew who sold items door to door -- and to her mother -- was bringing her child to the bus stop. She helped my mother up the stairs.

My mother told me that story when I was in my early forties. Thank God. LOL. I hate to think I could be some kind of a bigot with that knowledge of hate.

The mother may have handled the doll situation poorly, but it seems like she just did not want her child to hate her Black self. If we hate ourselves who can love us? My parent would say something like that to us kids all the time.

What I like the most while reading your comments is seeing how your are just human, and so am I. LOL. Things really are that simple for you. We are the same.

It reminds me of my first realizing that about Joe Scarborough, of the Morning Joe show, on MSNBC. I do not agree with his politics for a minute -- LOL -- but he is truly fair. I watch him daily for that reason alone. Oh, I get pissed off most of the time, -- LOL -- but I really like him.


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan

You really do justice to the subject of black complextion in the African American population. I enjoyed your writing and the photos.

You delivered just what your title reads: Loving Your Dark Complextioned Self!

Fantastic and Vote Up and Useful!!!


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

@Danielle, I didn't see that one, I hope it's a good thing. I just am a live and let live person. Like I said on computers before we had graphics, we never even thought to ask each other what color we were, if we liked each other, we were in! That's how it should be! Although I like the personal aspect of seeing who we're talking to now!


Danielle Woerner profile image

Danielle Woerner 5 years ago from Global via internet

Katharella, your post reminds me of that song from "South Pacific," the 1950s musical set during WWII, where the race issue in the show was white vs. Asian; "You've Got to Be Carefully Taught."


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Sorry about "the book" LOL!


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Hi again N.E. After finding another Netflix lover, :) I decided to put a follow on you thinking maybe I found another movie/documentary friend, as I have NO friends who love Netflix as much as we seem to! Well, the title of this hub caught my eye and I had to read.. my first thought was WHAT? Why is she referring herself to "her black self?" :(

After reading I see what you're saying. Well, I play two games at FB, and one of the coolest fun people on there is named Skittles! We totally clicked as friends, and have had some long conversations in email about how we've been treated badly by people in our families! She makes a lot of those "tag your friends" pictures, and I am in a lot of them! When I finally figured out how to make them, I made one, and it had various candy bars. Skittles was the first one, so of course I tagged her on that one. She said I am one of the few people (race or not) that GET HER! Nothing to do with color just LIFE! People have been mean to us over various life issues and that we have in common! But she's definitely "Skittles" because her personality screams "I'VE GOT A COLORFUL PERSONALITY" That's how I think of her! And despite we've both been treated wrongly in life I love her upbeat personality! She's refusing to let anything or anybody get her down! BAM! That makes her a friend of mine for sure!

Well, on the subject, which as you say IS such a touchy subject, the best friend I have is full Ottawa Indian. Funny to think back of us laying in the sun at the beach because I burn to a crisp while she just got more tanned! But like you said, dark people have to watch out for the sun too, as now she has far more wrinkles at this age than I do. But it was because I couldn't be in the sun long! And what bit I did, I can see a blotchy-ness on the sides of my face where it's sun damaged!

Anyway, I moved from Detroit, to the south on the coast of NC. I love photos of snow, but I got too tired of dealing with it, and the road rage & racial tension is incredible. But I moved to a small town, where I might as well be a light bulb lol. But coming from the "crime capitol" of America to a place so simple, everyone waves to everyone, and strangely enough, there is some segregation, but it's BY CHOICE of the people, and although we all have the same little general store, there's the black church (Bible belt area you know lol) and the white church, but anybody could go to either one and it's ok! There is only a small few who want to stick together, so who are we to say how each other should live! I'm single (bf, but is awaiting to come here next year) but to those who don't know I'm a SWF in a predominantly black neighborhood and I have NO FEAR and our crime rate is ZERO! That's what I love about being here, people are just NICE! And people are "people." But let me get back to my Indian friend. She'd mentioned wanting to move here, and she said "I hope that there isn't a KKK down there because I am not white." ARG, you coulda knocked me over with a feather! WHAT? Not white? Um, I always just called her my friend, not my Indian friend! So, it made me look around at my other friends and bam! Again.. I realized, that I must have really been colorblind because not only are a lot of them bi-racial, but different shades of black! Ooook! Whatever, I treat others as they treat me! I think that's how we should live life. As I told my "white" friend who has a "mexican" boyfriend lol, I don't believe in mixing of races because there's so much to learn from each other and personally I hate to see anyone being phased out! But that's what would happen! There would be no other cultures to learn about.

On a funny note, there is a store down here that sells only black (I'll get to the why I don't say African American in a minute) items. I was waiting for my friend in a nearby store, so I went in, and was looking around, and then a black couple came in. They looked at me as if I was from Mars or something! lol! But what I saw was a place to learn something from! I don't want that taken away. I was also told not to use the word "Oriental" that it had to be "Asian".. HUH? I just said, whatever, I love "Oriental" design! In the game world at FB I have friends from ALL OVER THE WORLD, and we treat each other as "gamers" not colors!

I think back to the time before there were graphics on the computer. Just forums. I was in a musical group of friends and a card crafting group, and you know, not ONE person ever even thought to ask what race each other was! To this day some of them don't have a clue, and I'm good with that, fine by me.

What I wanted to say about the African American thing is, well, since you have Netflix lol :) if you've not seen the movie Mean Girls (not for kids too young though, too many bad idea's of how to be mean)LOL, the main character is from Africa. When the teacher goes to introduce her to the class, she automatically points to the black girl and says "Meet our new classmate..." and the girl promptly says.. "I'M FROM DETROIT" lol! (so totally stereotypical!) but then the main character Lindsay Lohan raises her hand and says "it's me, I'm from Africa, my parents are Zoologist." lol. So, just because someone comes from Africa doesn't mean they are black.

My gaming at FB also bought to light to some people should not judge. I was uploading some photos that are pretty old as my parents lived in North Georgia, and back in those days, whites had to be pretty careful of being around black people! But I was proud to say that knowing my family history, we never had slaves at all, and I have a photo with my dad and a little black boy. Dad said they used to sneak them food from their farm, so harm didn't come to them or to the black family, and they'd risked the time of having a photo of the two of them together, but they did. My dad always said, ALL people need to eat, and a fair wage paid, it's the right thing to do! So I was proud to be able to post the photos, which I think might prompt me to get busy on a new hub about it. (Vote up btw) :)

Oh, and on a quick footnote here, I'd asked my dad when I was young, why weren't all black people the same shade of black, and he said, something even they might not realize, and from reading your comments, I see that it is true, it's misconceived why there are shade differences. And seen it through the eyes of my friend who is Indian. Like Indian's (American Indians as opposed to African Indians) :) are of different tribes, and even there they might not get along due to being a different tribe, with different tribal values, thus, there's different shades of black, it doesn't mean there is white in their bloodline at all. As many think there is, when they are not.

On a whole separate note, I watched a documentary on black vs white, and they'd taken small children to "prove" that they were being taught wrong as far as race was concerned. We know kids don't tend to lie (unless they're the guilty of breaking the lamp when they're the only one in the room! lol) but it showed both white and black children to pick the prettiest doll. It had a black and white one both dressed exactly the same, only of course the white one had yellow hair not black and the blue dress was more of a color contrast than the black one. It kinda annoyed me because the fact children don't tend to lie, they all picked the white one as being pretty, because IT WAS MORE COLORFUL, and had nothing to do with racial ethics! I also saw it in a forum that a women couldn't get her child to break away from her white Barbie doll to a black one, and it irked me trying to force a child who is simply looking at color contrast LIKE ALL CHILDREN WOULD DO, so why push something on her like that rather than just letting the poor lil' thing PLAY. Children tend to be colorblind, and will play with another child, because they see a playmate, not a color! It's what is put into their heads, not their hearts, and it's not letting them be who they are.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hey Five On Cows,

Thanks for your kind words.

No problem. I love your story, and I think others will also. You know I keep thinking it could be on HBO as a series. I'm just saying it seems like a series. LOL. It is good.

I cannot promise anything, but I had printed "A Ghost Named Cynthia" so I can read it while I am taking my son to all -- way too many. LOL. -- of his appointments today.

Thanks for your comments.

Take Care,

N.E.


Five One Cows profile image

Five One Cows 5 years ago from Moo Town

You have some super hubs, like this one N.E. I want to thank you so much for all the promoting that you have been doing. I really saw a face book "like" increase fast, and I'm totally amazed how you have 127 likes on this hub alone. If you get a chance before the dead line, go to - http://hubpages.com/community/The-Hubnugget-Team-T... And vote for "A Ghost named Cynthia" in the hubnuggets contest. Also if you can get any of your friends to help out, that would be great too. I actually don't know the writer of this hub, but it's very good and it has winner written all over it, so I've been pulling for this newcomer to the hub pages. Take care


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello Billrrrr,

You know, it just does not seem weird to me to hear this from you. I have heard from so many people, and most of them are not Black. They seem to have the same problems of complexion within their own race and cultures.

Sorry you had to go through that. Family can sometimes be worse. I should know. I use to have a cousin diss what she called my 'uneven complexion' in front of her friends, and she was darker than I was. LOL. And I am dark. LOL.

I thank you so much for your comments.

Take Care,

N.E.


Billrrrr profile image

Billrrrr 5 years ago from Cape Cod

As a young boy, I was teased about having fair skin and called 'whitey' by my relatives, who were of European origin. It made me feel different and unhappy. Sometimes it also made me wonder if my father was my real father. Isn't it weird that even in 'caucasian' families there's stupid comments about 'hue'.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hi Danielle,

Thank you for your praise.

I have so many bi-racial relatives I lost count. LOL.

As my baby brother once said, "America needs to understand this country is going to be brown ...." It is true.

Too be honest I am happy to see more Asians, and Hispanics in advertisements also. This is the true make up of our world, and the advertisements need to reflex it.

You know you are so right about how the Black women within a couple -- in the commercials -- seem to all be Fair complexioned. Have you noticed that the business women, who are Black, mostly seem to be dark complexioned. LOL. They do not have families. LOL.

Race is crazy. I just thank God for my parents not allowing us to be sorry ... bigots. LOL.

Thank you so much for your comment.

Take Care,

N.E.


Danielle Woerner profile image

Danielle Woerner 5 years ago from Global via internet

Hi N.E. - This was a beautiful post, on a subject I notice a lot, including in advertising.

My family is biracial, my husband and his kids are very dark-complexioned, I'm northern European descent. We talk about how, even with some progress made by Madison Avenue in occasionally showing biracial couples in ads, and more Black people or couples in general, in TV ads the Black women are ALWAYS light-skinned, and usually lighter than their partner.

I've never "gotten" it when people were racist; from as far back in childhood as I can remember, it both baffled and angered me. I wish the whole world had that disability of mine.... Will look forward to reading more of your hubs. Thanks for the follow!


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello Theseus,

I must admit I do not remember names. I do remember if the foods were good. LOL. They were great. LOL.

Still, Adobo sounds familiar, but she showed me so many different dishes that all the names are hard to remember. Again, she was a great cook. Her late second husband loved her meals also.

Again thank you for your comments.

You Take Care,

N.E.


theseus profile image

theseus 5 years ago from philippines

I'm glad that you happened to know some Filipinos and that you liked them. Yah, we really don't make distinction whether we eat food that's meant for breakfast or fit only for dinner,haha.What's important to us is we made our visitors feel welcome.

One dish that she must have taught you is adobo.I hope she did. It's very good.

Thank you too for sharing that part of yourself. I appreciate it.

God bless you.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Thank you, Theseus, for your comments.

I am trying so hard to say "Kayumanggng-kaligatan". LOL.

When my parents moved us into our first -- and last -- house, in the '70s, we were the first Blacks to live on that block. We lived in a semi-attached house. Our neighbors moved less than a year later. They were Italian. Our -- new -- neighbors -- 'til this day -- were Filipino.

I use to baby sit their son, and watch any nieces and nephews over the years. The mother was and is a very nice woman. She is now living in CA. She taught me how to cook many Asian dishes. It was fun.

Once I spent the night over and in the morning the wife's Mother made me spaghetti and meat sauce for breakfast. LOL. I did not say anything about having a dinner dish for breakfast. I just ate. It was great.

LOL.

I never thought about it before, but their complexions are in-between dark and fair. Sinick was the mother's name. I really respected and admired her. She was and is a great person.

You should be proud of your difference. Every person should be. I am with you on that.

Thanks again for your comments, and sharing something about yourself. It is much appreciated.

Take Care,

N.E.


theseus profile image

theseus 5 years ago from philippines

Nice hub.We should be proud of who we are.Our color does not speak for what is in our hearts.

I'm not fair,neither am I black.I'm in-between,like most Filipinos are. We call our color "Kayumangging-kaligatan".Most of my friends are fair-skinned but I never had a problem with it.I'm proud to be different.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hey Pinetreehugger,

I am doing fine. Thanks so much for asking. I hope you are doing the same.

As always, thank you so much for your support and very kind praises.

E-dragon ... huh? Let me tell you if my son was awoke to read your comments along with me he would be begging to see this e-dragon .... LOL.

I will click on the link you left when I am completed with my comments to you.

You are correct, I will not stop following others who are following me first. That is just crazy, and disrespectful. Plus, I just follow someone who had followed me just moments before I read your comments. LOL.

Again, thank you so much for your extremely kind praises, and your total support. It make me smile, but it is also very humbling ....

Take Care,

N.E.


pinetreehugger profile image

pinetreehugger 5 years ago from the far left hand side of the tropical rain forest, where no one else will dare go

Hey N.E. how are you doing? This is a great hub just like every other one that you write. You have 92 likes from face book alone on this hub, which states volume about your work. You've always been an inspiration for me on the Hub pages, which is why I still don't have a clue or understand why your hub score remains at 1, even after all of the contributing comments you have been leaving all over the hub pages. I even ask what happens after a hub score reaches the #1 ? - at the following link http://hubpages.com/question/111647/what-happens-n... The only response so far was the best response -" A e-dragon bursts through your LCD screen and devours you, then recoils back into the netherworld." Of coarse that really remains to be seen, and I wouldn't worry about that. The one thing I would like to leave with you is don't stop doing what you have always done on the hub pages, and don't stop following others, especially the other followers that are so nice to follow you first. God bless you.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hi Shhh...By Chare',

Thank you for your praises.

Unfortunately, -- or fortunately -- none of what I wrote was researched. These were my experiences.

The Programs I have watched -- over the years -- dealing with self hatred within the Black race were also part of my life's experiences ....

Thank you so much for your comments.

Take Care,

N.E.


Shhh...By Chare' profile image

Shhh...By Chare' 5 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

Great article and likely emotional through your research!? Will look for more interesting articles on your page, thanks!


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello Ourbananamoment,

Yes, it is sad that self distaste really seems to be in all races. Sad.

I thought about moving to Hawaii, and was informed by a Black resident that I should reconsider. She said she had never heard the "N" word so much in her life until she arrived there about three years ago. That depressed me, because I have a 7 year old son and I do not need him hating his Black self.

The only reason I would use an umbrella in the sun is to keep from getting a sunstroke. LOL. That is crazy.

Please, Caucasians here -- in New York -- worship tanning. Only the elderly would have an umbrella or straw hat to protect themselves from the sun for health reasons.

Thank you for your comments, and sharing your interesting information.

Take Care,

N.E.


ourbananamoments profile image

ourbananamoments 5 years ago from Hawaii

I really liked this piece. Sadly, I have discovered that there are many people from other races who tend to "brown" look down on dark skin in their own races. I have heard people say in other races that dark skin represents an outside worker or someone poor. It's crazy but ingrained. I live in Hawaii and it is nothing to see people (non black) walking around in long sleeves and carrying an umbrella. I find it ironic that our fair skinned cousins want to tan and the cousins who covet being pale avoid the sun as much as possible.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hey Deanna,

Nice of you to stop by, my Face-Book, friend. LOL.

I truly appreciate it.

So, where are you hanging that dark-complexioned Black men are not asking you out? LOL. Could not be where men in my family hang out at. LOL. Have you seen the pictures of my family? Please. LOL. Boy do our complexions vary.

Once -- years ago -- I was looking at Tony Brown's Journal, -- on PBS -- when he was interviewing a doctor from Howard University. The subject was very informative about how most doctors really saw Black people. Suddenly Tony asked, "What is your race?"

What? I thought to myself, and then the doctor said,

"Black." Okay, I thought to myself. Not what I see, but if you say so I believe you. LOL.

The doctor was slightly taken aback about the question. I think he wanted to say, "Yo, I'm Black. What's your issue Tony?" LOL.

To be fair, Tony -- I believe -- did it for the TV audience, because he knew we would all be seeing a white man.

I could not know what you went through about you identity, but I am sorry, you had to go threw that internal turmoil. No matter what, it was just wrong.

Thanks so much for sharing your information. I truly appreciate it.

Take Care,

N.E.


Deanna 5 years ago

Hello Natalie -- We are FB friends. I just wanted to drop a quick note to you on this hub. I found it very thought provoking and insightful. My family is also mixed. From extremes of ruddy irish to beautiful black skin. I am multi-racial, most who look at me have no idea because I look "white". I have a strong attraction to dark skinned men, quite honestly. However, it has been my experience that becuase people assume I'm a white woman,I've generally dated white or light skinned Latino men because they are the ones who showed interest. Going up I sort of had this racial schizophrenia, because I looked and was treated one way, but felt another. Your hub helped me put in perspective the other side to this complex subject. Thank you so much for sharing.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Yeah, it is sad to say, but it still is going on from what I have heard.

I would not know personally. Thank God. I also could not afford to act so ignorant. As you can see in the pictures my families complexions are varied.

I wish more people would remember Martin Luther King's words, because they are so true.

Thanks for the read.

Take Care,

N.E.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

Thank you for this deep and penetrating article. I have long heard that a subtle discrimination goes on among light-skinned blacks toward black blacks—and vice versa.

Individuals should be judged according to the content of their character, just as MLK said.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello Mannrolando,

Thanks for your praises.

I really hate that this is true within every race, but it is. We just have to end it with our children.

We can not let them believe that lighter and darker complexions are better or lesser than the other. It is up to the adults to teach the children of our future.

Thank you so much for your comments.

Take Care,

N.E.


mannyrolando profile image

mannyrolando 5 years ago

I really enjoyed this hub, I recently watched a video posted by a friend on Facebook about shadism and I could not believe how real this is in many communities, not just the Black Community... it also goes on in some Middle Eastern Communities and Latino Communities. I'm from South America and my mother tells me stories about my Grandmother on my Dad's side not wanting my Dad to marry my Mother because she was "too dark" My Dad was fair skinned... interesting! Thanks for this hub!


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hey Sturner, I appreciate your kind words.

I thought if I was going to write on this subject I needed to keep it real. LOL. That is basically it.

I am sorry to hear how your step grandmother treated some of you for being dark complexioned. My father's maternal birth grandmother wanted nothing to do with him, because he was so dark. Guess what? She was darker! LOL.

Her husband -- his maternal grandfather -- did not have a problem with seeing him, and he could have passed for white. LOL. Can you believe it? LOL. I am sorry I always laugh at that.

Oh, yeah my great grandparents wanted to meet my father years later and he refused .... LOL. I still admire him for that.

Stressing self love is what is needed, and it is what my parents did. Still, we went through what my parents went through with other blacks dissing us for being so

dark.

Unfortunately your kids -- and mine -- will go through the same thing. We just have to arm them with scenarios that will lessen the blow so they do not hate their complexions.

Again, I appreciate your comments.

Take Care,

N.E.


sturner1 profile image

sturner1 5 years ago from Georgia

Thank You so much for writing this. It was very thoughtful, and I loved that you kept it real, and wrote about a subject that is so taboo in the Black Community. My mother is dark, my father is fair, and me and my brother and sisters range from dark to light. Our step grandmother treated us differently because of it. As a child she treated my sister who is very fair skinned better than the rest of us. You cant tell from this photo but as a child I was very dark from playing outside. I will stress the importance of self love to my children, and I never want them to go thru what I have.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello Rose,

Hum, I am not sure if it is that black or white. LOL.

Mostly because of my own family background. See, most of my relatives are part Native American. My family is not, but again most of my cousins are.

I have a niece who parents are as dark as I am, but she resembles the look and complexion of her maternal great grandmother who was full-blooded Native-American. Interesting, but she wishes her complexion was as her parents. Dark. 'Your cool the way you are' I always told her.

_________________________________________________________

Okay, I agree 100% with you on this ....

I find the term "your pretty for a dark girl" to be extremely offensive, and dumb ass. LOL.

I appreciate both your comments.

Take Care,

N.E.


Rose Ella Morton profile image

Rose Ella Morton 5 years ago from Beverly Hills, Michigan

Being black doesn't make you beautiful nor does being white. I have seen alot of ulgy people in all races. Your complexion has nothing to do with you being ulgy. I use to be puzzled when people would say you are beautiful to be a dark girl?


Rose Ella Morton profile image

Rose Ella Morton 5 years ago from Beverly Hills, Michigan

The reality is The Black skin woman is the mother of all lighter skin people with the White man being the other half. I would say that over 99% of the blacks in American will find white in the ancestry.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hi Georgiecarlos,

I thank you for your lovely praises.

Take Care,

N.E.

_________________________________________________________

Hello Pmccray,

I truly appreciate your kind words.

I know what you mean, and it really bothers me, because young girls are still hating their either dark or light selves to this day.

I am trying to figure out how my mother taught my sister and I to be proud of our dark complexioned selves. I really do not remember.

I remember some girls use to want to fight my sister, because she had the nerve to think she was all of that, while being dark. LOL. It was so stupid. LOL.

Wow, to the rest of your comments ....

How do we teach our children how to love themselves without hating others in the process? Again, my parents did it, I just do not remember what they taught only that it helped all of their children.

Again, thank you for your praises. I also appreciate the share.

Take Care,

N.E.


pmccray profile image

pmccray 5 years ago from Utah

What a well written and wonderful hub. I love your bravery and subject matter. How can we, as a race, hope to eliminate racism in this nation if we won't face the self hatred that we perpetuate in every generation?

We've allowed racist to define us, we mirror their hatred and just as they are taught to hate we are taught to hate ourselves.

As a spawn of the sixties I thought that we conquered this lack of self esteem with our "Black is beautiful" campaign, but alas we just gave it lip service.

Excellent piece, voted up, marked awesome, beautiful and shared.


georgiecarlos profile image

georgiecarlos 5 years ago from Philippines

Thank you for sharing such a personal experience! A truly beautiful hub!


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hi AmyMarie_5,

My confidence came from once hearing my father telling some one that he did not want to meet his maternal birth grandparents, because he learned they never wanted to meet him when he was a child, because he was too Black. Nice. LOL.

Still, I had my issues .... I also had my family.

I really wish none of us had to go through self doubt in this world about our complexions, but when have to work on our children.

I am happy that you are letting your step niece know her complexion is cool no matter what.

You may want to check out my short story, "The True Foe Is ...."

Thank you so much for your insightful comments.

Take Care,

N.E.

___________________________________________________________

Hello msannec,

Wow, I thank you for your wonderful words.

I am not sure about the wisdom. LOL.

I am sure about the lessons I have learned from my experiences. LOL.

Thanks again for your comments.

Take Care,

N.E.


msannec profile image

msannec 5 years ago from Mississippi (The Delta)

A very powerful piece, very brilliantly written. thanks for sharing your wisdom, and thanks for sharing the pictures of your beautiful family.


amymarie_5 profile image

amymarie_5 5 years ago from Chicago IL

Thank you for sharing this article. First I'd like to say that your confidence in yourself is a beautiful thing. So many people become so insecure because of the ridiculous beauty ideals. I was one of those people. I am not black but of Italian descent and the Italian culture idolizes fairer skinned people. Unlike you this had always bothered me especially since all my cousins are fair skinned and most with green or hazel eyes. I also have a step niece who is a dark skinned black girl and she is obsessed with wanting light skin. She is only five. I tell her she is beautiful (and she is) and one day she will realize that she doesn't have to look a certain way to be beautiful. It's something we all need to teach children so that they can love themselves and realize all people no matter what color they are, are beautiful.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hi 6HotFingers3,

From the things I have learned and heard ... other races do go through similar situations. Sad to say.

I thank you so much for kind words.

Take Care,

N.E.


6hotfingers3 profile image

6hotfingers3 5 years ago

A pungent yet true reality in African families. I am sure other races have similar situations in their families also. Well written and truthfully written. Thank you!


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Life is sexy, Sugarcream143. LOL.

Thank you so much for your comments.

Take Care,

N.E.


sugarcream143 profile image

sugarcream143 5 years ago from Hong Kong

Dark is sexy!


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello Stelsie,

I thank you so much for your kind praises.

You are correct, we do learn -- good and bad things -- from our parents.

I do hate how some of us hate our Black selves. At the same time we can get better if we teach our children how to not only love ourselves, but to respect others of all races.

You are right this seems to go on in all races.

Thanks again for your comments.

Take Care,

N.E.


Stelsie profile image

Stelsie 5 years ago

Loved your hub - your own real encounter with this black-white thins is interesting. It's a shame that even some parents feel resent or shame toward their own because of how dark they are - an insight into internal/ self-racism. I believe a lot other people have similar experience but not comfortable to talk about them.

Thanks for a great hub.

Cheers


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello PenmanZee,

You are correct. I say it to all that I know all the time.

I heard that it is bad in Africa. My baby brother goes often, and said it made him sad to see how some Blacks seem to not really want to serve other Blacks within the country.

They are a little better to American Blacks, but not that much. Whites they seem to treat great. It was sad to hear. Everyone should be treated the same.

Still, he loves Africa and wants to plan a family group trip with all of us. I cannot wait. After all it is as you say The Motherland. LOL.

I thank you so much for your praise.

Take Care,

N.E.


PenmanZee profile image

PenmanZee 5 years ago

Great hub, N.E. In the words of our Lord, "Love your neighbor as yourself." In reality, you can truly love others only if you have a healthy love for yourself. It's a pity we still struggle with this today. It is even worse in "the motherland" and I don't want to get started on that. Thanks for sharing!


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello SmartAndFun,

I thank you so much for your wonderful praise. It is very much appreciated.

Take Care, N.E.

_________________________________________________________

Hello Adela,

You are correct about loving yourself. That was mostly my point with this article. People of any race loving who they are.

Thank you for your lovely praise.

N.E.


Adela Rasta profile image

Adela Rasta 5 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

Excellent, excellent hub. Lovely pictures of your family too. Enjoyed reading the many comments your hub also generated. I'm white as snow but have friends of all shades of black, white and tan. Loving yourself and others, whatever the colour, is what it's all about. A great write, Ms Wright!! Look forward to reading more from you!


SmartAndFun profile image

SmartAndFun 5 years ago from Texas

Wow, powerful stuff. Great hub. Thanks for putting this out there.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Pinkdaisy,

I truly appreciate your wonderful praises.

Take Care, and HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011 to you also.

N.E.


pinkdaisy profile image

pinkdaisy 5 years ago from Canada

This hub is awesome - Voted up! :)

Happy New Year!


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Imatellmuva, you are correct. Sadly, but truthfully.

Unfortunately, and fortunately, I know most of what you are talking about.

I, however, did not know about the Willie Lynch Letter. I will check that out when I am completed with this response.

I thank you so much for your insightful comments.

Take Care, N.E.


imatellmuva profile image

imatellmuva 5 years ago from Somewhere in Baltimore

The conflicts you speak of are not only stories, they are truths, and our people are the living and breathing product of that truth. Now mind you, fair and darker complexioned slaves both worked in plantation houses and the fields. The resentment that brooded between house and field slaves was not only on the basis of complexion but the amenities the house slave MIGHT receive. While a house slave did not do the back-breaking work of a field hand they were just as mistreated, and at times more so, because of their immediate presence. At times tensions did arise between the two slave groups, because it was perceived that working in the house was more ideal. The fair complexioned servant of the house, or field hand might be treated better (this is an oxymoron - for they're still a slave) because if female, was a concubine of the slave master, or the offspring. One great example of how blacks developed disparate treatment within their own race is "The Willie Lynch Letter". I encourage you to read this. You will see how many other issues were created amongst our people, but not initiated by our people. I know your story isn't about slavery, but color issues are derived from slavery, and slave mentality. And slave menatlity is not limited to our race alone.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hey LSpel,

You are correct. Everyone should ... love themselves the way they are. Unfortunately most of us still do not.

I really appreciate your praises.

Take Care, and have a HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!!!


LSpel profile image

LSpel 5 years ago from The Murder Mitten

This is a beautiful article. I love dark skin, and I am very envious of it. Everyone should celebrate their body and love themselves the way they are.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello Saphemerald,

It is nice to meet you here ....

I almost forgot that Africans have the same problems with complexions until you brought it up. See two of my serious ex-boyfriends were from Africa.

One of them was very fair complexioned, and really had a serious color problem.

Once we were waiting for his mother to come off the plane at JFK. He informed me that she was his complexion so I could look out for her.

When she approached us I saw a woman as dark as I am if not darker. I really started disliking him after that. LOL. I am sorry, I just did not trust him after that.

You make life harder for yourself when you hate your dark, lite, white, Black, Hispanic, Asia, and etc. self. See if you hate you why would anyone else like you? They would not is the way I see it.

It is sad to hear that African men are so insured that they change their looks. Do you mean they use skin cream to lighten their complexion? Wow, if so, that is sad.

Thank you so much for your praise.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!


saphemerald profile image

saphemerald 5 years ago from Lagos Nigeria

First of all thanks for following

Your hub on complesion descrimination is detaild, thougth provoking, enlighting and most of all an eye opener.

Even down here in Africa; where we ought to feel safe and acept ourselves d way we are; but alas! Lot of our women and surprisingly MEN are so insecure and goes to d estreem to change their look.

I believe where ever we find ourself; we shoullet down our defensive racial guard; and let up our self-esteem.

Great hub.

Keep d pen scribbling


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

You are correct about the dollar implications to complexions ....

Years ago when I was a student and cashier a customer was telling me about how to put my nieces and nepews into modeling, but it would be the fairer ones that would be more accepted. As you can see by the photos my family's complexions are not the same.

I was not comfortable with that thought so I never even thought about placing my nieces and nephews inside such a system.

It has changed now. I have a little niece who has modeling gigs all the time. In one of the many photos I have above she is the little one in her father's -- my baby brother's -- arms.

I thank you so much for your comments.


know one profile image

know one 5 years ago from Australia

That was an eye-opening read. Being a white Australian, I've never been exposed to such issues of identity and acceptance based on skin tone within a race... although its pretty obvious from magazines and movies that it has $ implications for the broader consumer market.

There are many black men and white men and a host in between from a variety of races that make me go weak at the knees - its confidence, humour, intelligence, and most importantly, masculinity that I notice, not colour.

In general, we humans are prone to judgment and we are often harsher on ourselves than we are on others... With such a short time on this earth, it's a shame we don't just put more value on our humanity and less on the shell that encases it. To reject someone (yourself) based on such superficial reasons seems to me to live a too-small life.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

I hate hearing that silly crap is still going on, but like you said children are learning this from their parents.

I know the different of parents teaching correct ways about race, because my parents corrected me once when I came home bragging about my response to a young girl calling me a "Spook juice". I politely told them "I called her a "yellow Banana". I waited for praise, and I received some harsh expressions, which shocked me, and then a firm scolding. "Two wrongs do not make a right. Don't you ever call anyone out of their name again."

Still, I had to go through other kids calling me out of my name also, and they would be just as dark as me if not darker than I was.

I had to learn to say something back without using race. I did not always win that battle, but I knew not to brag to my parents, because they would kill me. LOL.

Oh, and all of this was when I was in nursey school. I was about five years old.

Yes, it is up to the parents.

Thank you so much for your comments.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!


joleenruffin profile image

joleenruffin 5 years ago from Tracy, CA

Interesting hub. When my daughter was six years old, she was playing at the daycare at our gym. Another little girl who was of mixed race, told her she didn't want to play with her because she was dark. What was crazy about that is this girl was the same complexion as my daughter! My husband is African-American and I am a mix of several different races (black, asian, white). Where do kids learn this stuff? I think it comes from the parents. We need to learn to look past color and see people for who they are inside.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Thanks for the 4th reading, Lucky Cats, LOL.

It is sad that this is brave, but you are right people in my own race are really uncomfortable with this subject. I just do not have time for it.

I have a short story dealing with this subject.

One day a family friend told me her daugther was always hoping that they had something other than just a Black bloodline.

School mates were making fun of her child for being so dark, and because her mother was not dark at all she hoped she could tell people that she had another race in her bloodline. The mother was angry.

Sadly the next thing I did when I was alone was brain stormed a short story. I am going to Hub it soon. LOL.

Not so wise to talk to me about things. LOL. As my sister like to say, "Oh, oh, she's thinking of a story!!!" Sad, but true. LOL.

My friend read the story years ago, and loved it. Then she asked, "Where'd you get this idea from?" I said, "From you." LOL. She was shocked.

Well, my son is sick ..., but I am going to find some more stories of yours to print and read.

Take Care, N.E.


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 5 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

N.E., this is a very brave and honest piece. # 3 of yours I've read and every one is up front and no nonsense. Which is probably why you have so many followers who support your work. Thank you!


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello Ashantina,

I do agree with the self-hatred comments. It is sad it really has not changed in this day and age.

It makes sense that there would be issues within the Asian community -- sad to say -- because it is like that within so many other races.

Thank you so much for your comments.


Ashantina profile image

Ashantina 5 years ago

I enjoyed reading this article. It all stems from self-hatred and their need to be validated by their perception of 'Power' (and its warped dynamics). Unfortunately Africans/diasporans who continue to perpetuate this myth only contribute the divide within our culture, our identity, our economy, our family structure and our race as a whole. It is truly sad.

Note, these light-dark skin complexes also extend to the Asian community.

Thanks for sharing.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Wow, Kay Lynne, thank you for sharing that information.

I have seen what you spoke about with the Creoles vs the darker African Americans, but to actully have someone who actually lived through that no I have not.

You are correct it's all crazy!

Thanks again for very enlightening comments.


Kay Lynne profile image

Kay Lynne 5 years ago from San Diego, CA

Coming up in New Orleans where the black popluation was once segregated, and to some extent still is today, hence "the darker african americans, and the "creoles" who are also african americans who just happen to have fair skin with soft hair, I can relate to this hub. It's the craziest thing I ever heard. But back in the days of racisim and segregation, the "Creole" population would try to blend in with the caucasian population and often succeed, so they thought they were better than the darker skin black people. To this day, many of the creoles still think they are superior to their own kind. Crazy as that sounds, that is the absolute truth!


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 5 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Gangu786,

I agree, but unfortunately that is how life is.

I thank you for your comments.

_________________________________________________________

ProjectsConsult,

I agree with you on both counts.

Thank you for your comments.


ProjectsConsult profile image

ProjectsConsult 6 years ago from World Wide Web

I do believe the media plays a big part in perpetuating the myth that lighter is better. Unfortunately, I don't believe people's attitudes will change any time soon.


gangu786 6 years ago

its sick , darkness is just a complexion its should not be the criteria to treat a person. nice hub .


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Yes, we have to be as careful as everyone else in the sun. LOL.

I thank you so much for your comments and follow.


tom hellert profile image

tom hellert 6 years ago from home

NEW,

despite my dark scalely complexion in the picture- I am so white- HOW WHITE ARE YOU TOM?... I am so white when I wear a white tee shirt people ask where my nipples went...ok bad joke- but In fact i never even knew until a guy I worked with told me "oh yea... black people can get a sunburn." I was ignorant and shocked I asked if he was kidding me he showed me his shirt line... and his sunburn... YOU CAN KNOW SOMEONE for years AND STILL FIND OUT NEW THINGS-

good hub,

TH


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello Aiden Roberts,

Thank you for your follow, and for your great comments.

It is nice that color was not an issue when you were growing up. Here in America it is all about race even when people pretent it is not.

How one deals with racism depends on how they were raised to be honest. I thank God for my parents.

Again, I thank you for your ... comments.


Aiden Roberts profile image

Aiden Roberts 6 years ago from United Kingdom

Great Hub

Hey, I really enjoyed reading this hub; your honesty and balanced view of a difficult subject is refreshing.

Growing up in an area of the UK were virtually every corner of the world was represented; colour wasn't an issue as we were a community of friends.

I was aware that racism even amongst individual groups happened but thankfully it seemed to be an exception rather than the rule.

For me it is the shallowest of person that judges another by the colour of their skin and it is sad that beautiful people are driven to crave change to passify others hang ups.

Thank you for sharing your experiences and I hope that one day soon the world wakes up and stops all prejudice.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Wow, Purpleangel47, my eyes are watering just thinking about the scene with you and your daughters, and one getting praise while the others did not. Wow!!!

What is it about Black kids getting dissed in grocery stores by white people in front of their parents? LOL.

The first time I experienced racism -- when I was 6 years old -- it was in a grocery store with my moms.

I cannot wait for that Hub you will write. I think I am going to write about my experiences also.

Thank you so much for your great comments.

Strange, I was just on your page. I will go back now.

Thanks again.


purpleangel47 profile image

purpleangel47 6 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

Excellent hub N.E. Wright!

Our color-struck society has always baffled me. I've had a few experiences of my own that I'll share in a hub later but my most vocal response to the issue was when it affected my three daughters. My two eldest daughters are dark tan and chocolate-hued respectively. Their younger sis is cafe au lait. When we would go grocery shopping, I could always count on a Black or White individual commenting on how beautiful my youngest was - while her two darker-skinned sisters stood beside me quietly. My hasty response was, "Yes, ALL my daughters are beautiful." Then of course, the person would suddenly see my other girls. Frustrating ....

Thank you for following me ... I can't wait to read more of your work.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Oh, wow SOBF, ha, ha.

Yeah, Chri Rock can write. LOL.

Funny!


SOBF profile image

SOBF 6 years ago from New York, NY

Chris Rock can write? LOL


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hi SOBF,

Thank you, but I would be happy if he wrote like Chris Rock. LOL.


SOBF profile image

SOBF 6 years ago from New York, NY

N.E. Wright sounds like you have a budding Richard Wright on your hands.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Well, Qwark, I thank you for your comments, and I am happy that we are following one another.


qwark profile image

qwark 6 years ago

HI N.E.:

I'm very white, very German/English.

I'm for the melding of all ethnic groups!

In another generation, white will be the minority here in the USA.

Personally? I love gorgeous black women! Lets say I love the ladies, but when I was dating, black ladies were my choice.

The times will change. I wish you the very best in life!

Thanks for becoming a "follower."


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello SOBF,

Thank you for your awesome comments.

So I am going to place some levity here for a moment. It has to do with the word "duty".

My son requested that I read your comments, and against my better judgement I did. I turned around to look at him and he was suppressing his laughter. I asked him why and he said, "He said doo-tee."

"Oh my God, not that one. Go get the Game Boy and play." LOL.

Sorry, my son is six. Still I wanted to share his reaction ....

He loves that people are following me, and send me comments, but he is an innocent, and just does not get most of my subject matters. Nor does he get the differences of words. LOL.

Now about your comments, well, I agree with you totally.

I do wish hues and race were not still a problem today, but it is.

I love your last line, ... voice so sultry that it can melt a diamond.

Wish that was true for my voice. LOL.

Again, awesome comments! I truly appreciate them.


SOBF profile image

SOBF 6 years ago from New York, NY

N.E. Wright - Your hub touched me in a way few have. Growing up in a household that promoted the positive nature of blackness, not in a superior sense but a positive one. I was raised by a strong black man who preached the beauty of the black woman, the strength and life of natural black hair, the richness of the black complexion, and the power of my black mother not because she was my mother but because she was a black mother. The value of my sisters and my duty to protect that value.

So many of us fail to understand the power in the hues, be they dark or light. We have been so programmed to accept the singular that we reject everything else without as much as a thought.

The life in the hair that cannot be duplicated, lips so perfect that others take to a scalpel to experience them, a dark rich complexion so valuable that other risk cancer for a temporary taste. A body that curves like no other and a voice so sultry that it can melt a diamond.

Awesome piece!


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Thank you, Research Analyst, for your kind words.

Unfortunately you are correct. I do not know too many people that has not gone through this issues about complexion.


Research Analyst profile image

Research Analyst 6 years ago

This is such a great hub and I love the photos, I think everyone has probably experienced the things you have mentioned when it comes to skin color or shades in complexion.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Thanks for your comments Tom.

I do like your work.


justom profile image

justom 6 years ago from 41042

Great hub N.E., I grew up being a white minority in grade school and went to a real diverse high school so I totally know where you're coming from but count this male out when it comes to preferring light skinned women. I've always liked all kinds of people but for some reason more of my friends growing up were dark skinned. I thought all that stuff was just silly. Peace!! Tom


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello CP,

Thank you for your comments.

I always thought what you said had to be true for all other races, because in this vast global world its kind of a small community with people who have different shades within a family.

Wright is my pen name that I took on, because of my love and respect for my paternal grandparents.

When I looked up the origins of my legal sir name it was -- You will not believe this -- Welsh. Ha! Can you believe that?!!! LOL. I have not told anyone outside my immediate family.

None of my relatives know this .... This is just too ... funny.

I can go on and on about this, because it really does make me laugh at, as you say, "... the foolishness" on race.

Thanks again for your great comments. I truly do appreciate them.


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA

The funny thing is: my ancestors were all Welsh, and even though my family is all "white", of my parent's four children, 2 are dark haired and tan really well and the other 2 are fair skinned with red hair!

There ya' go!

Being a liberal child of the 60's I always figured that eventually mankind would loosen up and blend into a beautiful mocha or cafe au lait complexioned society.

My wife is bi-racial and so, of course, are my children.

And I couldn't love 'em more.

When we first started dating we would jokingly argue about which of us had the better tan. [Me!]

One of my wife's uncles denied his heritage and was a member of the Italian-American Club in town!

Even though the light/dark and racial crap causes such unnecessary pain to so many, sometimes those amongst us who are above it just have to laugh at the foolishness.

Write on.

CP


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Thanks, Couturepopcafe, for your kind words.

I would have liked to have read about the similar issues within the white race.

Still, I asked my sister -- we are together on vacation -- and she thought it would have been inappropriate.

Still, I am not sure I would have been offended. Hey, I am a writer. LOL.


couturepopcafe profile image

couturepopcafe 6 years ago

This a great thought provoking commentary. I was going to write a response - how Whites have some similar issues - but quickly realized this is not only inappropriate but possibly disrespectful since I cannot view the world from the deeply personal Black perspective.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Thank you Seeetie Pie for your words.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA

I am glad your hub is willing to examine this issue. Very informative to read.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Hello H P Roychoudhury,

Thank you for your kind words.

I actually love what you say. I hope the same for our -- human -- race.


H P Roychoudhury profile image

H P Roychoudhury 6 years ago from Guwahati, India

It is a nice article. Human color is nothing but sensitivity. The real beauty lies somewhere else. It is the knowledge of human biology. One day I hope man can come out with concrete explanation of the evolution of color and a new order of human race.


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Wow, thank you for your extremely kind words.

I do not mind your words. My family represents America.

You know I just do not remember anyone in my family talking about the others' skin tone in any bad way.

It's just interesting.

Again, thank you for your kind words.


gypsywoman01 profile image

gypsywoman01 6 years ago from Hutchinson, Minnesota

Child, your family is BEAUTIFUL! I love the many different kinds of skin tones your family has, what a rainbow of chocolates. I do hope you don't mind me saying this. I loved your story! I never knew that this was an issue within your race. It opened my eyes wider.

I am mostly German with just a touch of French Creole. There is no way I can explain what a French Creole is, so you may have to look it up if you wish to. I look nothing like a French Creole person, being that my skin is whiter than snow, I have dark blond hair and blue eyes. But, like the point of your story, I myself am drawn toward a man with darker skin tones, dark hair and dark eyes. I can not tell you why this is, it just is. I do not judge others by their skin tone...hello, that is what you are born with, something you can never change! Be proud of what your higher power has given you, it was given as a gift! That's what I say.

Again, thank you for a wonderfully written piece!


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

I think it is nonsense, E M, but I must admit there is hope.

Thank you for your words about my Hub.

Keep in touch.


E M Smith profile image

E M Smith 6 years ago from Kingston-Upon-Hull

and it is nonsense. When will the world wake up to this fact. Great hub


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Thank you Cheeky girl for your remarks. You are right it is all about the skin. I love the way you put that. Also, people really do judge a book by its cover. Sad, but that is just the way it is.

I would like to say more also, but I have my nieces, nephew, and son to attend to we have an outing. Keep in touch.

N.E.


Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 6 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

This is a great hub, and you deal with a delicate subject so very well. It's not unusual for black people to say to other black people that they are not black enough. When I was a baby growing up in a family with Italian and Swiss parentage and grandparents, I was told by Italians I didn't look Italian enough or Swiss enough. How the hell is someone supposed to look Swiss? Wear a cuckoo clock and wave a Swiss army knife at people as they pass me by? I would be locked up. Basically, people do judge the book by the cover.

My pertner "Astra Nomik" (also a Hubber, a poet) is part Asian, and she gets annoyed annoyed when people say she looks South American or Brazilian, or not Indian enough. (Having an Indian father). All she can do is correct them, and get on with it. White folks love getting a tan and other Asian people buy "Whitening soap" to lighten their skin. All for the skin. Such a simple thing, and we make it all complicated and get uptight about it.

I could say more, but I think you get my drift. You sound like you have an interesting family. Thanks for an interesting Hub. Cheers!


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY Author

Thank you every for your kind words.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England

Hi, It is such a shame that people can be so horrible just because of colour, but thank you for sharing your experience on here, and as habee said above, it is a strange thing to argue about really as white people spend hours on a sunbed trying to get a tan! Human beings are a strange lot! lol I am very fair skinned and I have always wanted to be darker as it is so much more exotic looking. interesting piece and I look forward to reading more of your hubs, cheers nell


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

Very well written hub with some wonderful thoughts! You sound like a really "together" person. I sometimes envy the beautiful skin that most AAs have. I have to spend hours in the sun and the tanning bed to get color! lol


febriedethan profile image

febriedethan 6 years ago from Indonesia

Thank you for sharing this, I really appreciate it. Rated up!


Glencap profile image

Glencap 6 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Very well-written and thought-provoking Hub. This is such a sensitive issue that is still causing lots of confusion in the Black community. Thank you for raising it, and for providing your personal experience and images.

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