My New BFF

Setting the Scene

Jimmy was one of those guys
who probably was good looking
about thirty years ago.

He seemed to miss the fact
that he was flabby, balding,
and didn't have it.

I'd met a lot of guys like him over the years.

The difference between Jimmy and guys like him was the complicated history that was fogging up the place.

Shirley

As I moved away from Jimmy, keeping my thoughts to myself, I saw a large woman who gave me a big smile and introduced herself as if she'd always been dying to meet me.

She treated me as if we used to share pencils in primary school. Having never seen her before in my life I didn't do more than play along.

I didn't see any reason to exchange phone numbers, but no reason to play woman of mystery. She rang me up a couple of times and when I didn't see her I rang her.

There was some function, I had no intention of going to, but Shirley had bought two tickets. About four hours before the dinner she rang me up, invited me to go with her, saying that her son had backed out.

It sounded okay to me so I agreed to join her.

We sat at one of the best tables with others and I had a great time.

The Witches of Green Street

Shortly after that I gained the unnecessary opprobrium of the Witches of Green Street. For some reason these three sisters despised me.

Shirley had, in dribs and drabs made me know that the Witches hated her, so I suppose being her BFF I was getting the reflection.

Until I found out why they hated her.

Mama's Boy

Years ago, Jim had been married to Nancy, the middle witch, and they'd had a child. The child was retarded. The marriage fell apart, Nancy and Jim were divorced.

Then Shirley came into the picture.

Jim and she began a relationship, became engaged, were about to get married, when Nancy began ringing up Jim crying about Gertie, the child.

Jim decided leave Shirley home alone to see about Gertie. It didn't take long before Shirley realised that it was going to b 'me or Gertie' and me would lose.

So she left.
She left, but still had feelings for Jim.

Hence, seeing Jim speaking to me Shirley had to home in, which explains why she made me her new BFF.

Which explained why Nancy, who also had feelings for Jim, considered me a dangerous rival.

Hence both Shirley and Nancy focused on me from different angles based on my connection to Jim.

Jim, however, had a sick mother a thousand miles away.
And his mother Always trumped.

Hence Shirley didn't have him, and Nancy didn't have him.
He was Mama's boy all the way.


With Jim abandoning every one for his mother, (who had been dying for the past 15 years, although she looked rather smart when I met her) Nancy and Shirley started to exchange war stories.

Soon they became BFF and I was forgotten.

Alas.

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