Nikolai Makeyev

Oh, the great Mike Tyson. The youngest man to ever win a heavyweight championship at age 20 by destroying another man named Trevor Berbick. The man who knocked out other men like it's a walk in the park. The man who raped an 18-year old beauty queen named Desiree Washington and went to prison for it. The most dangerous man on the planet. The man who bit off a piece of Evander Holyfield's ear. The man who wanted to eat Lennox Lewis's children - Lennox Lewis had no children back then. All these things, however, are now nothing but parts of, well, history.

Iron Mike is a new man now. He's retired which means he ain't fightin' no more. He's not going around knocking people out. He's not bitting off somebody's ear. He's not telling people that he's going to eat their children. He's one of us now. Just another citizen in this beautiful planet of ours.

These days, Tyson spends his time making TV shows on Animal Planet about racing pigeons, appearing in iPhone apps, dancing with the stars, making funny videos on Funny or Die, etc.

So that leaves us to the fans. Now that the Most Dangerous Man on the Planet is no longer doing his thing on the square ring, what are the fans doing? Well, apparently, they are stabbing each other on the backs. Enter Nikolai Makeyev and two of his friends.

Nikolai and friends are Russians. Obviously. And yes, our brothers from Russia love boxing as much as we do. Anyway, Nikolai and friends were having fun with their alcoholic beverages at Nikolai's apartment. They then started talking about, you guessed it right, Mike Tyson. If you are a boxing fan, then you know that the Klitschko brothers (Wladimir and Vitali) are currently the top dogs in the heavyweight division.

The three Russians started playing a game of what-ifs. What is this guy fought that guy? What if Mike Tyson, in his prime, fought any of the two Klitschko brothers? Nikolai argued that Mike Tyson will beat the hell out of the Klitschkos. One of his drinking mates did not agree and went on to call Nikolai “unpatriotic”. So Nikolai stabbed him several times on the back. Several times. And so he died.

The other drinking mate also got stab wounds but he was able to escape and order his wife to call the police.

And by the way, Nikolai is a teacher by trade.

It is hard not to wonder what will Mike Tyson's reaction be if he hears that a Russian man fatally stabbed another man in his defense.

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