Raising the Debt Ceiling and Much More in America: Saving a Sinking Ship

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Right in the middle of the Pacific ocean, a large ship, named Amerinic, is on the brink of sinking. Sailors discovered a large hole on the bottom of the ship. As every moment passes, water deluges the ship. The quicker they seal the hole the sooner they save Amerinic.

The captain of the ship is Mr. Eloquent Balama. He is very charming, articulate and sharp. Mr. Crying Heiner is the Deputy Captain. He is very emotional, at the drop of a hat tears would flood his eyes. No one has a clue how he manages that. He is very proud of his simple family background and his raise as Deputy Captain.

As the water rushes in, lower level sailors and passengers are terrified when they learn that no body is doing anything to seal the hole. Eloquent Balama and Crying Heiner appear near the spot like how angels appear from heaven. They see the water rushing in.

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“Oh! Let’s do something”. Said Balama.

“Oh no. We have time. Let’s wait until the water level reaches, at least, the mid point”. Said Heiner.

“Okay. Let’s plan” Balama said.

“You know what? Planning! That’s not a bad idea”. Heiner replied.

Meanwhile water keeps rushing in, passengers and other sailors are shaking in fear.

“Ah. Yes. Those metal bed frames in luxury class are very strong. Lets pull them out and fix this hole”. Said Balama.  

“What? Why luxury class? The bed frames in the economy class are as good as the ones in the luxury class. Why don’t you pull them from there?

More and more water keep rushing in. Passengers turn nervous.

Balama refused bluntly. “ Absolutely not. The metals frames in the luxury class are of high quality. Those are the ones best suitable for this operation”.

Meanwhile a sailor from Heiner’s camp approaches Balama.

“Hey. By the way, do you have your birth certificate?  Only those who are born in Amerinic can seal this hole. You are not”. Said the sailor.

“Are you nuts? How can I be born in a ship? Anyway, the short version of my birth certificate is running live on the ship TV. The longer version will soon be released” said Balama.

“How long is that? Can we use that to seal this hole?” asked Heiner.

“Na. Na. They make it in paper.” Replied Balama.

As they keep discussing, more and more water rushes in.

A passenger runs to them. “Don’t you guys see the ship is sinking? Why don’t you seal the hole first?” begged the passenger.

“We are here to serve Amerinic. We love Amerinic” replied both Balama and Heiner in chorus.

Suddenly, Heiner had an idea. ”Can you make your long version of birth certificate in metal?”

“Yes..Yes..that is the way to go” said Balama.

As they spoke, a baby blue whale while trying to squeeze through the hole, gets struck in the hole and seals the hole. The water stops temporarily.

“Okay. Let’s talk about plan B”. Said Balama.

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