Rudeness – a dissection

 

Eric Hoffer said rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength. 

 

Dictionaries define rudeness in nature as a wild or unrefined state and in humans a manner that is rude and insulting. When a person is rude, s/he is socially incorrect in behavior. Rudeness is lacking in refinement, grace, civility and good manners.

 

Some synonyms for rudeness are bad-mannered, crude, ill-bred, lowbred, and uncivil.

 

An example of rudeness

Lydia is the financial officer of a property estate belonging to a formidable land-baron and property developer. During an intensive audit of the debtor’s accounts – a task she postponed for five months during her unfortunate state of burnout and depression - she detected an account which did not show the key-deposit that was payable by the tenant in number nine of Villa Elite, one of the baron’s most luxurious complexes.

She checked the account of the previous tenant of the specific apartment, too aware of the fact that some tenants ignore the rules and make direct payments into the estate’s bank account without giving their surnames as well as the name and number of the apartment they rent. In these cases the amount could easily find its way to the wrong account. The account of the previous tenant was, however, in order. A direct deposit representing the correct amount that was payable, or any amount deposited at the time the tenant took occupation, was also not in the suspense account – an account containing deposits that were made without any references and to be allocated when a tenant does the appropriate claim.

Being the financial officer and not the leasing-agent or the caretaker, Lydia regards telephone conversations with tenants as a waste of time and a dangerous emotional trap. After many years in the hard and cruel world of financial management, she knows all the lamentable explanations of people with accounts in arrears. Her responsibilities as the FM (Freaking Money-dealer) of the company don’t allow her to get emotional involved with its debtors.

She thus sent the tenant a SMS (text message): “Please provide without delay proof of your payment of key-deposit for nr 9. Thanks. Lydia @ Villa Elite.”

Within seconds after sending the message, the tenant was on the phone, talking to Lydia with a voice loaded with anger and disdain.

Tenant: I’ve paid my key-deposit.

Lydia : Ma’am, it could have been allocated to the wrong account. As soon as I receive a copy of your receipt I will be able to trace it.

Tenant: Where do you think I will find a receipt after six months?

Lydia, ashamed because her work is behind schedule, created the necessary silence for the tenant to hear her own ridiculous question.

Tenant (more angry): I’ve paid that money and I’m not going to waste my time looking for the receipt.

Lydia : Can you remember how and where you’ve paid it?

Tenant: I think it was cash and I gave it to the caretaker.

Lydia : Did he give you a receipt?

Tenant: No.

Lydia : (Allowed the silence to grow, confronting the caretaker in her mind, although she will utter her thoughts carefully and politely when she speaks to him: “How many times did I remind you of the fact that the acceptance of any money by the caretaker is against our policy? Now we face the damn crisis I told you we will face because of your self-righteousness.”)

Tenant: Perhaps he did, I can’t remember. But I’ve signed the contract and I’ve moved in, and that means I did pay the deposit.

Lydia : No, ma’am, signing our lease agreement merely means you agree to pay the deposit, and giving you the keys to move in, means we trust you.

Tenant: Listen, I paid that damn deposit, and if you can’t find it, it is your problem. I don’t have time for this f#@*$*g s#*t!

Lydia (suppressing an explosion of anger and frustration): Ms Smith, this is actually your problem and not mine. If you can’t provide proof of payment, I have no choice but to proceed with legal steps.

Tenant: I don’t have time for this s#*t....

Lydia (had enough): Well, ma’am, I too, don’t have time for s#*t. Goodbye!”

Within three minutes the tenant’s attorney was on the line.

“I’m So-and-So, the attorney of Ms Lea Smith. She reported.... I don’t want to hear any stories, just answer the following questions. Did my client sign a contract with you?

Lydia (as always astounded by the arrogance of attorneys): Yes, she did.

Attorney: Did you give her the keys?

Lydia : Yes, we did.

Attorney: Now that means she paid the key-deposit.

Lydia : No, the contract is not a proof of money received. It is an agreement that money will be paid by the tenant and received by us.

Attorney: I don’t agree with you, lady.... (And he repeated everything he already said in a more unacceptable, arrogant, rude manner.)

Lydia : You are wrong, sir. Our company issues legal receipts for money received, and don’t regard the contract....

Attorney: Listen, I’m not interested in your stories...

Lydia : If that is the case, sir, goodbye! (She replaced the receiver with a vengeance.)

After having a cup of hot coffee Lydia diarized the tenant’s file sedately. Although taking legal steps is not one of her favorite tasks, she will be delighted to hand Ms Smith over to the company’s official debt-collector.

Quotes

  • Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength. ~ Eric Hoffer
  • To disagree, one doesn't have to be disagreeable. ~Barry M. Goldwater and Jack Casserly, Goldwater
  • Whoever one is, and wherever one is, one is always in the wrong if one is rude. ~Maurice Baring
  • Arrogance is a mixture of impertinence, disobedience, indiscipline, rudeness, harshness, and a self-assertive nature. ~ Swami Sivananda

The opposite of rudeness is politeness –

  • Politeness is the art of choosing among one's real thoughts. ~Abel Stevens
  • Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are. ~Author Unknown
  • There can be no defence like elaborate courtesy. ~E.V. Lucas

 

What does the Bible say about rudeness?

I believe we will agree that it takes humbleness and meekness to be not rude, but always polite and good-mannered. 

 

  • Proverbs 29:23 - A man's pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit.
  • Matthew 5:5 - Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
  • Matthew 23:12 - And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.
  • Colossians 3:12 - Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering.
  • James 4:6 - But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
  • 1 Peter 5:5 - Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.

 

 

Please judge the example case in the comment section. Your personal experience of a similar case will be highly appreciated. 

 

More by this Author


Comments 49 comments

Sa`ge profile image

Sa`ge 6 years ago from Barefoot Island

Some times being polite with an extremely rude individual means being silent, smiling and with a nod say, "thank you for your remarks, I will leave you with them, I must go now."

Great hub, thank you. sometimes a bit of humor slips in at the end, sort of after the fact! :D ~aloha~


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

Sa`ge – After such an encounter I always feel dirty, as if I was baptized in a river of sewerage, then a day or two later, sadness overwhelms me, and then, by the third day, I can look down on the issue and see the humor as well as ‘the other side’. Rude people are actually pathetic; they live in the river of sewerage. Like crocodiles they will – and have to - attack anybody they can reach. Thank you so much for your perceptive and encouraging comment.


HOOWANTSTONO profile image

HOOWANTSTONO 6 years ago

Very nicely put, yes Rudeness is a quirk in every person. It take patience and experience to overcome by practicing being Kind.Sarcasm is the worst form of rudeness.

Go well


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

HOOWANTSTONO – I agree with you. In some situations I can be as rude as ten, just to hate myself afterwards. And yes, sarcasm takes the cake. I can’t handle it, and yet, I too, can be as sarcastic as ten. Thank you for the visit, sir! Your comments in my corner are greatly appreciated.


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

Great Hub, Martie, really. There is too much rudeness in our daily interactions and it achieves nothing except to poison relationships. Love the Hoffer quote and the anonymous one: "Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are." Great one that!

Love and peace

Tony


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

tonymac04 – It is always so nice to see you in my corner. Yes, those quotes are my favorites too. I sensed that you are not able to be rude, while I am like fire. Throw a drop of oil on me and I will, for sure, explode. But no, not really rude, merely straight forward. I play the ball and not the man. Or who knows, perhaps I’ve played with a few sensitive players and hurt them without intention, as so many do with me. Awww, let me stop – introspection is a good habit, but not to do on a lovely Saturday morning. Enjoy our warm and sunny weekend, my friend! Hope it rains.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

First off I must commend you on your choice of pictures, those made me laugh, however the text made me roll my eyes and say. I'VE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT scenario too many times. I was a licensed Realtor at one point in my many careers and I can honestly say I have had my fill of rude Vendors, Buyers and tenants.

I wish never to play back the recordings of my anger and frustrations felt then.

I have unfortunately been in front of the Securities commissions a number of times defending myself and the paperwork involved in transactions a few times and they were not fun.

Rudeness is one thing but when someone try's their best to defame you and make you feel like a loser or worst a hoodlum for things you are totally innocent of, well that can really ruffle one's feathers.

I have learned to look people in the eye and only nod my head and say very little, I have found the one who can shut their mouths the longest, generally win. In my earlier days I let to much get to me and I became to aggressive and rude myself and always fought back with words, that was the wrong thing to do.

Best say very little and choose your words very very carefully. Life is to short to get your blood pressure rising over things to do with work. Good hub, I hope your friend has found another profession:0)


always exploring profile image

always exploring 6 years ago from Southern Illinois

Great hub Martie,

I don,t allow rude people in my life, that way they don,t get a second chance, example, I needed some repair to a burner on my electric stove, when i called the one appliance store in my little town, the owner said," Why don,t you call the place you bought it from.They missed a sale because i bought a new one later. Rude people should be banned from working in public.

Cheers


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

Unfortunately, "The provocation of rudeness is irresistible if one is not a Saint".


poetvix profile image

poetvix 6 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

Thank you for addressing something that is decidedly declining, the art of civility. Rudeness seems to be becoming the norm in modern society. I find this to be so very sad.

Recently I contacted a parent of a student about attendance. Mind you the third week of school just passed yesterday. I called to remind the parent I need dr. notes to excuse absences and about the fact that we are bound by law to report after a certain number which is rapidly approaching. The parent, after cursing, threatened me, lied at length, and stated that I should never again call so early as she was sleeping.

What was I thinking to take the time to warn her of potential negative consequences, legal requirements, and oh yes, the fact that I was actually concerned about the student? (I am seeing that my own comment here is sarcastic which must be the first cousin of rudeness). For this I applogize.

I think this Hub should be mandatory reading. Thank you for sharing.


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas

Great hub and great scenario. Having been a hairdresser for many years I have had my share of rude customers. I usually handled them pretty good I would kill em with kindness and that always gets them to back off (sometimes). Great job...cheers Martie


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

Hi Martie! What a wonderful hub, full of reminders that politeness is always the best way to go, even in the face of unimaginable rudeness.

I am really stunned sometimes by the poor behavior of others, stunned into silence and the awareness that there's really nothing to do but walk away.

I hope to maintain a bit of MY dignity in these cases!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

@ saddlerider1 – We share experience in property estates; we know how rude tenants can be, not to talk about buyers and sellers. Lydia is, of course, me, but writing fiction for so many years, I’ve learned to write about ‘unprocessed’ personal matters in the 3rd person. This technique enables me to digest shocks and unpleasant issues. I will have to cope with rudeness until the end of my days – I really don’t have the desire nor the energy to start doing anything ‘new’ in my life, I have tried a lot and decided to stick to my fortes – writing & financial management. I can follow the rules and etiquettes of these businesses in my sleep, and most of the times I can cope with the bad and the ugly. In all respect I identify with Christ – I have been crucified and buried, and I ascended to a ‘heaven’ from where I can look down on human behavior, including my own. Thank you so much for your visit. I always appreciate your insightful and empathetic comments.

@ always exploring – I agree with you: Ignore rude people and simply follow legal procedures whenever necessary. I truly appreciate your visits!

@ De Greek – I have no choice but to agree with you. Once upon a time when I was young, beautiful and arrogant, I caught a traffic cop red-handed writing out a parking ticket for me. I RUDELY took the ticket from her, tear it up in her face and threw the pieces at her feet. Yes, I knew I was wrong, I knew I was angry at myself for ignoring the law ref parking fees, but still I could not resist being rude. Of course I don’t do this any more – I realize people are only doing their work, or, in the case of above example, they react on a threat. But still I get upset when somebody is rude to me, and I need about 3 days to get over it. Thanks for you greatly appreciated visit and comment.

@ poetvix – I think trying to survive at a too rapid speed, captured in a situation of financial drought, and feeling ashamed because we could not, for some reason or another, kept to rules and etiquette, make some people rude. They will rather be irrational and attack their confronter – as the tenant above as well as the mother in your case did – as admitting they did not conform to the rules. We should always try to stay above this, for it is too easy to repay rudeness with rudeness. Rudeness is a trap; it is like the bait of a fisherman; we should not behave like fish and swallow it. Thank you so much for improving my hub with your comment.

@ ladyjane1 – Oh yes, hairdressers have to cope daily with rude customers. I can picture you killing them with kindness. Did you hear about the lady with the very thin hair who wanted her male hairdresser to do her hair in a style for thick, curly hair? When she confronted him because his work did not match her idea, he answered politely: “I’m so sorry, ma’am, but you know I am not God, I’m only a hairdresser.” Thank you so much for your visit and comment.

@ lorlie6 – When I was younger, fighting the way up to my goals, I believed only cowards walk away, or put phones down in other people’s ears. Now I believe it is the only and best way to maintain dignity when attacked by rude and irrational people. However, sometimes I loose my temper (and dignity). I’ve got a poster against my wall: “Beware! Lady to b*#+h in one second.” Thank you for your visit.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

I am a rough and rude personality without meaning to be. It's hair, tattoos, my personal trauma at the moment, but unwillingly I can sure seem rude even if I don't mean to be.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

Micky Dee – Well, at least now you know exactly how/what you are, and you can begin the painful process of ‘Change Personality’? ... :)))). Actually you’ve got a point. Indeed you get people who look rude and rough. You know, that bearded, frowning, never-smiling type, who glares at the world through long, lush reddish eyebrows, fighting in silence the pains of personal traumas? Well, many of them have hearts of gold, so we better never judge anyone by appearances. I hope you’ll enjoy a nice spin today.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

I certainly can see where "rudness" could be employed by those who operate as a "manipulator". It does not work on everyone but it might work on a few. The old adage, you catch more flies with honey....comes to mind. I see no use for being rude unless it plays into your plan to win the hand. Otherwise, why would you want to use that approach. Of course there are people who spend their entire days being rude for no apparent reason...they are just screwed up people. The real challenge is to maintain one's cool when those around you have resorted to insulting each other, etc. Thanks for a good article! WB


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

Wayne Brown – I agree with all you said. And your are so right – it is a REAL CHALLENGE to maintain one's cool when those around you have resorted to rudeness. Having a fiery temper, I have to bite my tongue daily. This is quite tiresome, and sometimes I do loose control over my thoughts and then it shoot out of my mouth like snakes of fire. Fortunately, with age comes more success, but also more regret when I don’t succeed. Thank you so much for leaving a comment to ponder.


katiem2 profile image

katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

What a wonderful topic, thank you for bringing this into conversation. Rude people.... UGH the pain they cause themselves and others who are sucked into it. It's like people are screaming help me help me and yet they are in denial. If they only realized we all see it for what it is a cry of dissatifaction with one's self. I really appreciate kind and pleasant people. So thanks to all you nice folks out there. You make the world a better place. THE golden rule does not work for those who care not about what happens to them. Peace :)


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

katiem2 – So nice to see you in my space! And so true – we are all trying to live the best we can; all people have frustrations, bad memories, financial responsibilities, and-and that make us grumpy and in the mood to be rude, but when we call ourselves educated and/or religious, we are suppose to be polite and therefore we have to be polite – by hook or by crook! Thanks for hopping in and leaving your comment.


Lisa HW profile image

Lisa HW 6 years ago from Massachusetts

Sometimes I think, rather than meekness and being humble, it takes strength and self-confidence not to be rude. People who "don't have issues" usually respect themselves and others too much to be rude (at least when being rude is a way of life for them). I think if people are occasionally and uncharacteristically rude (either because they seem a little too abrupt, or else because they accidentally do something rude - a sincere apology can make all involved parties feel better about the incident).


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

Lisa HW – I agree with every word. But so sad, rude people don’t realize they are ‘common’. They truly believe they are perfect and not to be trampled on. One cannot reason with them, for they’ll pull you down to their level and wash your hair with tar. You’ve got to walk away from them, or put a phone down in their ears. Thanks for reading and leaving such an insightful comment.


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

I learn something new from you. I try to avoid this habit. I hope more people love to read this hub and learn together . Being rude....no, thanks!

Prasetio


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

prasetio30 – Thanks to you I’ve just reviewed my previous reply to Liza, and all of a sudden I remembered a time when I was very rude to a person who treated me with disrespect. This means in a moment of weakness I, for sure, imitate strength by being rude. (Eric Hoffer: Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.) But as De Greek mentioned, only saints may brag that the provocation of rudeness is not in their nature. Thanks for the visit, Prasetio. I really appreciate your comments on my hubs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

Great article - I am going to read it again! Eric Hoffer, by the way - has been a hero of mine since the 60s. Quite a philosopher.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

Nellieanna –I like to ponder over quotes and poems. Only people who have experienced an issue in depth are able to describe the wisdom they gained in such a way that it is worth pondering over. Thank you for reading and giving your approval with a comment. Much appreciated!


alicia1999 profile image

alicia1999 6 years ago

MartieCoetser, this is a wonderful hub on rudeness and ever so true. We cannot accomplish anything useful by being rude. I have to work on myself all the time with my responses when I am upset because we get more done when we ar calm regardless of the situation. Thanks for sharing this hub with us.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

alicia1999 – Welcome in my corner! I guess we all need a couple of guards on our lips, for it is much easier to be rude as polite. It is only the results that make us – who really try to consider the emotions of others – determined to be polite instead of rude. After being rude to somebody, I feel bad for days, while being polite I can merely go on with life without being forced to a standstill by a feeling of guilt and regrets. Thanks for reading and improving my hub with your comment.


ladyt11 profile image

ladyt11 6 years ago

I believe that a person who is always rude can look forward to a lonely life. All the disrespect, impatience, self righteousness and haughtyness that it takes to be rude takes a lot of work, never having a pleasant result. It opens the door for so many things like medical issuses( high blood pressure, depression, etc.) My niece who attends central state university in ohio recently told me that in her study of psychology that if you continue with the same behavior for six months or more(rudeness, worrying, fear, etc; it will acutally lead to a physical ailment like depression, phobias, paranoia, ulcers, chemical imbalances and more!) So its safer, healthier and it would seem much easier just to be nice! As always life and death is in the power of the tongue. The tongue is a small member but the greatest weapon of all, we should train ours for good! Another awesome hub MartieCoetser, thanks for sharing!!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

ladyt11 – I agree with you! I’ve also noticed that rude people are often unhappy, as if they are caught in a trap and not able to change. In denial they tend to become ruder - pushing people further away – It is like watching them disappear in quicksand. So sad! We can only safe people who want to be saved. Thanks for your thought-inspiring comment.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

What a great story for your point, Martie. There is simply no excuse is the way we were raised. I am not always as gracious as my mother would have liked, no excuses...

I do my best. Thank you for this hub.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

msorensson – I am also not always as gracious as my mother would liked me to be – I don’t have her patience and tolerance, and the guards on my lips are most of the time asleep when I need them. But fact is, when I am rude, it is always in self-defense or in defense of someone else. Instinctual rude people are like mosquitoes - they have to be ‘killed’ or at least ‘swiped’. Thanks for the visit and comment!


amorea13 6 years ago

Martie thank you - I loved this hub and have voted it up.

It made me laugh (at the pictures - especially the one of the 'Amazon' woman with the axe!! Cool!).

It's funny you know but in the judicial system such rudeness would be considered 'dis-honour' and that a rude person would have marked himself or herself already as a 'debtor' because of that and yet so many people ARE rude and 'dis-honoured'.

Thank you for this hub - you wrote it so compellingly too - it is a great 'read'.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

amorea13 – Now you’ve made me laugh too – for I moved up to check the pictures, and upon my soul, I laughed at them all. Is this not typical human? Most of the time we see humor in all situations – we just don’t register it immediately. Thanks for opening my eyes for this. Fortunately rudeness is merely seeds and one always reaps what he has sown. Thanks for visiting and leaving such an enlightening comment.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

.....I hate to be rude for showing up so late here - please do not dissect me for I must show the utmost politeness and tell you from the bottom of my heart that I wish more people could put a hub together this well - by entertaining, educating and enlightening our thoughts and our minds.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

epigramman – This is the wonder of ‘living’ in cyberspace: we are not bounded by time. For the reader and commenter(s) our writings are always in the present. And for us writers too – it is printed ‘pictures’ of our views of specific issues. I’m sure you are not able to be rude, as I am not able to eat my hat. Thanks for reading and leaving such an inspiring comment. I was just wondering if I should keep on writing about certain issues in this didactic manner, or rather in essay-format. Now you’ve given me the answer. Some issues just ask to be written in this way. You’re approval means a lot to me. Thank you, sir!


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA

Martie,

Thumbs up.

I agree with Lisa HW that the best way to deal with rudeness is to rise above it. To lower ourselves to their level simply gives the troglodytes another victory.

That being said, we should not ignore the cretins or their bad behavior, for silence implies assent.

I recently wrote a hub about combating the proliferation of rude behavior. The solution I reason is based on Confrontation and Consequences. Malefactors must be made aware that their lack of civility is offensive and unacceptable, and that actions have consequences.

The last photo, the expression on her face, would seem a tacit agreement that those who have been offended may seek satisfaction.

I love it!

CP


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

Christopher Price – Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a thought-provoking comment. I agree, we should not lower ourselves to “their” level, but by following the correct procedures, we can easily help them to realize that rudeness never triumph over anything that is founded in justice. I’m on my way to read your hub about this topic. Nice to meet you!


Hummingbird5356 profile image

Hummingbird5356 6 years ago

Nice hub. I think people with bad manners are not worth bothering with.

I do like your choice of photos.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

Hummingbird5356 – There should be more than one law against it :)))) I always enjoy choosing photos for a hub. Great fun. I’m glad you like these. Thanks for reading and commenting. Take care!


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

Rudeness is indeed "the weak's man imitation of strenght" and we recently got one more example of it (like we really need it, right?)


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

Petra Vlah – One can easily determine the depth of a person’s character by merely observing his boundary between politeness and rudeness. We are all able to be rude – it is in fact the last straw we will catch in an effort to assert ourselves. When a person is rude from the very start, we’ve got to believe he is shallow with no civilized/refined characteristics. Yes, we have the Rude-Ones here at HP too. Fortunately we can ignore them and pray for those who have to deal with them in reality. Thanks for the visit and insightful comment. Your support is highly appreciated.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

I enjoyed reading this again and dancing on your buttons. God bless Martie!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

Micky Dee - Thanks for the visit. You are one of my blessings.


Dr irum profile image

Dr irum 6 years ago

I have learned something new from your hub , so i adore this post .Thanks and rate up this


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

Dr irum - it is really nice to know you've learned something new from me. This is what makes HubPages such a wonderful site. We learn from each other and even one new perception on an issue can solve a lot of our unsolved issues. Have a merry Christmas and all of the best for 2011.


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 6 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas

Dear Martie, still catching up on reading, I voted UP! We were just talking about Napoleon Hill, and in that video he sets some basic guidelines for success, and one of the first things, is advising individuals to be of pleasant personality, smile and be polite. His advice is never truer than today. Great Hub


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

LillyGrillzit – I have Hill’s ’15 Laws of Success’, and it is absolutely a jewel. Of course I loose it sometimes (my self-control). As in this story, putting the phone down in the attorney’s ear. The best of all, at the end the rude lady paid that deposit, because she could find no prove of payment and I could find no unallocated or wrongly allocated deposit in our bank account. It is very hard for me to be a debt-collector. One needs a glass of pork milk every morning to do that kind of work. I request settlement of account only once, most of the time via tax message or e-mail, and if no responds before/on due day, I simply pass it on to the attorneys. I’ve lost my ability to tolerate any kind of indolence. I mean, when I find myself in a financial crisis I make the necessary arrangements with my creditors in time. Ignoring them only intensifies the crisis. Thanks for the visit, Lizzy. I always appreciate your visits.


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 6 years ago from Sunny Florida

Marie, unfortunately we run across in one form or another every day. I have found for me the best offense is to smile, nod and keep silent. The person either becomes tired of talking, thinks your an idiot (and leaves you alone), or realizes how they sound. Great hub, well written.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa Author

KoffeeKlatch Gals – It took me almost fifty years to master only in some degree the art of keeping silent while somebody is rude to me (or to others in my presence). I am able to tolerate a person’s initial rude reaction on whatever he/she experience as an unpleasant threat, but if he/she doesn’t come to his senses in a minute, I will merely say: “Excuse me, I don’t talk or listen to rude people.” If possible I will walk away. (Not always possible during meetings.) Distressed I may even write a report of some kind, a short-story or a hub about the issue - like I did here - and I may even be rude (in return) and mention the person’s real name. Honestly, I was married to the King of Rudeness for almost twenty years. I left him (almost twenty years ago), doing a Scarlett O’Hara: “I will never-ever be the victim of a rude person again.” Thanks for the visit and the supportive comment, KoffeeKlatch Gals. See you again soon.

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