STAND BY YOUR MAN

FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE

Have you ever been married to a man who was unfaithful? If so, weren't the signs already there before you said "I do?" Once upon a time, I was briefly married to an individual whom I truly loved. But my husband was a chronic philandering cheater! In fact, when I first met my husband he was involved with several other women. Foolish me thought that he had never really experienced true love before. To my chagrin, I discovered that he was quite accustomed to receiving love. The problem was he just didn't know how to be faithful to one woman. I was his second wife and after me there was another one.

WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET

The point is I knew what he was when I married him. Like most women, I was hoping that marrying me would change his cheating heart. It did not. While Hillary probably did not know the true extent of Bill's infidelities; instinctively, she knew that he was an unfaithful man. As for Melania, she knew what Donald Trump was when she said "I do." As a matter of fact, she knew what he was prior to agreeing to marry him. In order for Donald preference for tall, physically attractive females to be met; the recipient must be receptive to Donald's request. Otherwise, Donald's preferences go unmet. That being the case, I suspect the presentation of Donald's preferences to Melania was presented in the same wrappings that it had been presented to his former two wives. Donald had no incentive to change. Nor did he have a reason to acquire a new form of communicating, especially, when his present form of communicating had procured him all that he desired. Unfortunately, Melania's protestation that she was shocked by Donald's "Boy Talk" was nothing more than a poorly conceived political "cover up."

DEFENDING YOUR MAN

But Melania is not the first woman to appeared on national TV and proclaim their spouse's innocence. Her adversary, Hillary, did the same thing. She sat before Matt Lauer on January 27, 1998 on the Today Show and said, "And I just think that a lot of this is deliberately designed to sensationalize charges against my husband because everything else they've tried has failed. And I also believe it is part of an effort, very frankly, to undo the results of two elections." Was Hillary hinting at the possibility of a political conspiracy? Maybe she was. If it was, then the preexisting flaws in Bill's character made him a willing accomplice. Is Melania hinting at the possibility of a political conspiracy as well? If she is, then the preexisting flaws in her husband's character has provided him with the ammunition to wound himself. In a perfect world standing by one's man shouldn't be so difficult, but let's face it, we do not live in a perfect world. The truth is we are all flawed individuals who are seeking to be in reciprocating relationships. For most of us, the euphoric flagrance of a new love overrides our common sense and we forget that what we see is what we get. "Drunk In Love" as Beyonce puts it, we think that what we see will be magically transformed into what we want. It rarely happens. Instead, women who are married and remain married to unfaithful men sometimes end up serving as an unwilling participant, and sometimes a willing participant, in their husband's marital unfaithfulness.

FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE

But sooner or later both individuals comprehend exactly what the marital injunction "For better or for worse" really means, This must be a very trying time for Melania, just as it was for Hillary Clinton when she had to publically face the fact that the man she married was indeed the man she married. With all that has transpired, I am sure that Melania knows exactly what Tammie Wynette was alluding to when she crooned out "So if you love him you will forgive him; even though he's hard to understand . . .after all he's just a man."

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