Sanders for President in 2016

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Yes, it's time for Sanders

In these days of uncertainty and doubt, we need a hero. We need someone who will look out for us. We crave a larger-than-life figure who knows how to win.

The economy stinks like yesterday's sweat socks after full-court basketball with Barack Obama followed immediately by 18 holes of golf with Obama, Bill Clinton, and John Boehner. No jobs exist except for counting people who don't have jobs. The Internet goes down all too often. Cars are too expensive. Health insurance is only available to the super rich who can afford it or the super poor who get it free from everyone else. Nothing is fair any more.

Into the political fray jumps our man Sanders. He has the skills to make everything better again. We were once a great nation of laws and people: we can be that way again after Sanders gets finished with us. Read onward with me to see how that can happen. If we all pull together to elect this amazing man, life will be good.

Sanders will score for us
Sanders will score for us

Sanders will score for us

We need a leader who knows how to be a team player. When Israel and Palestine lob missiles at each other, a strong leader who can bring everyone to the negotiating table will be personified in the glorious personality of Sanders. He has a long successful history of contributing to teams both as a leader and a lead blocker.

At halftime of high level meetings he will deliver inspiring motivational speeches to his cabinet. He will appear on Sunday morning chat shows to patiently explain complex strategies for long-term victory. He will be constantly scouting the political landscape for promising talent.

He never fumbles the football of international politics. He holds onto his ideas like a pigskin in a really bad rainstorm on a muddy field before they invented artificial turf. The last thing we need these days is a risk-taking self-centered politician eschewing the safe runs in favor of long bombs that may come down in the wrong hands. Sanders will be a game-changer who maintains possession of our foreign policy with both hands.

Are you hungry for change? Vote Sanders!
Are you hungry for change? Vote Sanders! | Source

Sanders will feed our hunger for change

We know things are rotten these days. You can't walk across the street without a crashing stock falling on your head or something not being made in America any more. It seems like the only products made in USA are fast food chicken sandwiches and mashed potatoes. In some places you can also get pizza, but that is probably cooked by somewhat illegal aliens living in rent-controlled housing.

Electing Sanders will bring back all the manufacturing that we sorely lack. The man has extensive experience building businesses all across our planet. No one possesses a higher level of name recognition. His face draws a crowd wherever it appears. People line up to buy his products and bask in his visage. People buy what he is selling. If you think Donald Trump is a successful businessman, think some more. Think about businesses thriving in every country, reaching out to the cultures of diversity wherever they rear their heads. From the dry desolate plains of Soviet Georgia to the bustling squalor of Soweto, people reach out to the paper bag of freedom proffered by Sanders. Erstwhile humans seek emotional nourishment and almost never leave unfulfilled. They wash down their satisfaction with the Pepsi of solace in a 32 ounce reusable cup.

Sanders will smoothing out the rough edges of life. You know this.
Sanders will smoothing out the rough edges of life. You know this.

Life is jagged. Sanders will smooth it.

When you wake up in the morning, trudge to the kitchen, and rip your big toe on a jagged splinter? That is so unfair. Sanders will do everything in his power to make the kitchen floor of your life smooth again. When your boss sticks a broken 2X4 into your personal life by making you work for less than minimum wage, Sanders will fire up his political machine. He will wield the recirculating belts of societal evolution to get you what you deserve. You are his favorite project.

Indeed, we all need reconstruction in these dark times of cross-cutting politicians who build for a while but end up leaving our emotional workspace all messy. Sanders cleans up after himself and makes sure that his shop stewards follow up on any outstanding issues like code violations or nail pops. He also comes with a long-term warranty that guarantees protection against unforeseen dangers, both foreign and domestic.

Conclusion

The conclusion must be obvious by now. If you've read this far you now know that Sanders is the only man for the job of President of the United States. Pikers like Dr. Ben Carson should go home and stick to saving the lives of children through complex surgical procedures. Amateurs such as Carly Fiorina need to go back to building multi-billion dollar US corporations employing thousands of people, rather than interfering in politics. Sanders has everything covered.

You know the facts: are you voting for Sanders?

  • No
  • Yes
  • Obviously Yes
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Comments 20 comments

breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 12 months ago

I think Sanders could be president of the American Socialist Party. He knows the drill from top to bottom.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 12 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@breakfastpop : You are so right! Everyone should have Sanders in their toolbox.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 12 months ago from Olympia, WA

He's got my vote!


drbj profile image

drbj 12 months ago from south Florida

And I have the perfect slogan, nicomp. "Resurrect America!" After we resurrect Col. Sanders, that is.

Loved this one, m'dear, so much that I'm going to pretend (to myself only, of course) that I wrote it.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 12 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj That resurrection would exemplify Hope and Change!

Thank you for your kind words.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 12 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

nicomp......Who's Sanders?


bradmasterOCcal profile image

bradmasterOCcal 12 months ago from Orange County California

Who is this Sanders?

Is he like Madonna or Cher with no first name?


nicomp profile image

nicomp 12 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

fpherj48 , bradmasterOCcal "Sanders" is running for the Democratic nomination for President. Every time I turn on the TV left-wing media is fawning over him. Communist-owned cable TV news channels such as MSNBC and CNN and The Discovery Channel cover his campaign 23 hours a day, then spend the remaining hour bemoaning someone named Clinton who should evidently be jailed for hiding state secrets in her underwear or leaving the porch door unlocked, I think.


bradmasterOCcal profile image

bradmasterOCcal 12 months ago from Orange County California

nicomp

I thought that because you didn't mention his first name that you might be having fun with us.

My mistake.

As for cable news, I don't use them. I stopped watching about ten years ago.

CNN, Fox News, and MNBC don't report they distort the news.

I don't even watch Broadcast News, I can't wait a half hour or more to find out the weather.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 12 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@bradmasterOCcal : It's fun for me and I hope you as well!


bradmasterOCcal profile image

bradmasterOCcal 12 months ago from Orange County California

nicomp

OK by me.


Insane Mundane profile image

Insane Mundane 12 months ago from Earth

Anybody for the Republican Party should hope that Hillary Clinton gets nominated to represent the Democratic side. It will be the Republican's best chance to win! With her goofy, deceitful-looking self on the ballot, even some of the die-hard democratic voters may change their mind when it's time to actually vote; ha!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 12 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

ha!


William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey 12 months ago from South Valley Stream, N.Y.

I'd vote for Bernie Sanders in a heartbeat, nicomp, but not Colonel Sanders (although he wasn't a bad guy, really!)


nicomp profile image

nicomp 12 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@William F. Torpey : how about Barry Sanders? He's as qualified as Bernie.


William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey 12 months ago from South Valley Stream, N.Y.

Barry Sanders sure could run, nicomp -- and I know he could score well, but when you talk about being qualified Bernie can't be beat (and he does look a little like the colonel, doesn't he?


nicomp profile image

nicomp 12 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@William F. Torpey : Bernie is qualified to impose his outdated Central Planning brand of Big Government but beyond that he's no more qualified than Ben Carson or Barack Obama.


William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey 12 months ago from South Valley Stream, N.Y.

"Central Planning" and "Big Government" are terms invented by Big Business to define their opposition to government it doesn't like (which is any government that doesn't let them do whatever they like.)


nicomp profile image

nicomp 12 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@William F. Torpey: Ummm... no. Central Planning is the basic tenet of Communism. They coined it. And the TEA Party popularized the term "Big Government,."


William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey 12 months ago from South Valley Stream, N.Y.

Big Government is a big lie, nicomp. There's no such thing as "big government." There's only government you don't like. Now "Big Business" is another thing entirely. Today "Big Business" has far more control over the economy (and the politicians) than government.

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