Parents must have Equal Right

Equal Guardians

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Official Guardian of a Child

In India the first/official guardian of a child is one’s father. I am sure, like me, many others have an opinion regarding why only father should be the first/official guardian. Why mother has not been given the same status and right over the child? In my opinion it is quite disgraceful. The people who made this law in India seem to be the believer of a staunch patriarchal form of society. This is the reason they have differentiated between a mother and a father’s right over a kid. Sometimes due to such a law a mother has to face quite embarrassing situations. I have a question to ask that who gave the right to the lawmakers to demean a mother.

Recent Proposal

The lawmakers should have an eye of a keen observer. They should look into the fact that what is good for an individual, a family, a society, a nation and a world as a whole. There is a recent development regarding the law of the first/official guardianship of a child in India. The present lawmakers’ panel has proposed to the government that mothers should be made the first/official guardian of a child. This is just a proposal and this move will be made a law or not is yet to be decided.

Parents must have equal rights

I am certain that this move will be appreciated by many Indian women. Though, I am a woman I think absolutely differently. I am that kind of a woman who regularly felt women were let down by the previous lawmakers by making father the first/official guardian of the child but this so called liberal move of the lawmakers’ panel too has not made me happy. The present lawmakers with this so called liberal move have popped up another question in my mind and that is ‘will it be right?’ Again, I think these lawmakers’ panel has failed to foresee the demerits of such a law in the country. Though they are thought to be liberals but in my opinion they are simply so called liberals and not the true ones. The present lawmaker’s panel does not understand a simple fact that a country cannot progress to its fullest unless and until it is freed from shackles. Putting shackles around one gender cannot bring in progress to its fullest. A family can run well only when men and women are at par but the moment there is a forced curb on one’s right then the family will get disorganized.

Sharing Responsibility Together

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No Privilege

I am firmly against the fact that why one parent would enjoy the privilege of first/official guardianship over the child. A kid is a gift to a couple by God on this earth and the responsibilities towards the child rests upon both the parents. That means giving privilege/importance to one parent while ignoring the other parent is not a justified law. Actually, it hardly matters when the family as a whole enjoys a good and healthy relationship among themselves but it matters the most when the couples do not share a good and healthy relationship. When a situation like unhealthy relationship prevails in a family then can the lawmakers blame a particular gender of people? It is simply out of question. It is a proven fact that if in some cases men are to be blamed then in some women are to be blamed and also some cases are such where both draw attention of raised eyebrows due to their irresponsibility.

Ignorant Lawmakers

I am an advocate of equality of rights. I do not believe in gender biased laws. Do the lawmakers at one time wanted to say that all the fathers were extremely responsible parents? This thought seems to be a myth according to the present lawmakers’ panel and they consider mothers to be the most responsible parents of the kids. Well, how they judged and came to a conclusion? Do the lawmakers are not aware of various wrong doings committed by men and women both? Suppose men are always to be blamed then why domestic Violence against men is increasing on a day to day basis. Even nowadays it’s very common that couples for their own life simply ignore their first priority that is the responsibilities towards kids.

Child needs both the Parents

It is a fact, for a perfect upbringing of a child the must criterion is that the kid should enjoy the comfort and shelter of both the parents. To make a perfect human being you need to give love, care, protection, financial support and much more. We need to understand a child and his needs for a proper upbringing. Neither all love without money will be able to make a perfect child nor do full of money without emotional support make a proper upbringing of a kid. Thus, it does not matter who provides what to the child but the point is a child is receiving the required amount of attention, love, care, a financial support and rest of the required aids which help it to grow properly. A true and proper life is all about a combination of emotional, physical and financial fulfillment. If one gets missing then it’s obvious that the child at some point of time will show its craving for it. The crisis of any kind let it be emotional, physical or financial deepens with the passage of time rather than fading or diminishing until such crisis receives a befitting reply. Then, why a progressive country like India is interested in curbing the proper progress of their kids?

Authority

It is not unknown to us that many male counterparts have emotionally tortured their female counterparts on the basis of the first/official guardianship of their child but similarly the females will take the advantage of such a power, if granted, against their men in an unhealthy family situation. This could happen especially in the urban households where the parents are modern, educated and financially independent. Usually, it is noticed that the educated women who want lots of freedom in life, money and have no adjustment quality implicate their husband and in-laws in false domestic violence cases. Why is this happening? Isn't it because of the misuse of the legal rights granted to the woman whom the lawmakers considered weak and deprived gender while making the law? Again the same mistake is about to be repeated by empowering woman in the case of first/official guardianship over the child. Why the lawmakers are turning deaf ears and blind eyes towards the suffering of the male gender? It is true that men are fewer in number as a sufferer in comparison to women in India but the point is the number of men sufferers is increasing. Where will these men go for help if women get protection only because of being a woman?

Suffering Impact on Child

A country should have such a law which will protect the innocent and punish the wrongdoers but not a law to protect the wrong doers of any particular gender. The lawmakers must need to think that the women or the men should not take the privilege of their gender and make an innocent child to suffer on the ground of being under the charge of first/official guardianship. A kid must have a protected life and not a life based on partial laws. The child is an innocent mould so both the parents must have the equal guardianship right so that a kid’s life gets a proper shape. One wrong judgment can ruin a child’s life along with it the future of India will be spoiled.

Parents should be considered Equal

Discrimination between parents was neither a right law nor will it be a right one now. The lawmaker’s panel must make such a law where both the parents must remain sincere to the responsibilities towards their child. They must have a fear of losing their child to one another if they fail to perform their duties as responsible parents. Guarantee of right overpowers one’s handling a task and feels no threat due to irresponsibility. This should be stopped because it is a kind of corruption which is in the making of a strong foothold in the society. Let the child enjoy the life with a respect for both the parents. May the child be able to understand how much both the parents are important for a proper upbringing! The child needs to understand that equal right of the parents is not just a vague emotional saying but the lawmakers of India must also substantiate it with the law of parents’ equal right as official guardians of their child.

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Comments 12 comments

Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

Hi Shampa,

Beautiful insight into this debatable topic. I am also a believer of equal rights to dad and mom but, I feel that mom should be given the first right under a special circumstance. Mother's love has no boundaries and can forgive and forget a child's deeds but, some dad need a refresher course in that...lol

voted up as interesting and sharing it across!


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 4 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA Author

Hello Ruchira,

As usual it is absolutely a pleasure to have your comment. This is the first time I suppose that we two are partially disagreeing with each other on this subject. Being a woman and a mother myself I am still dead against of women's first right over child. The only reason is I have recently witnessed some cases where wives are using their children as a whip against their husbands especially the urban ladies who are educated as well as financially independent. This make me feel that if progress is used for personal profit then it is quite demeaning. Men had shown this colour from long ago so both the genders must now become cautious before any wrong deed.

Thanks for sharing.


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

Hi Shampa,

Sure, if it comes to those kinda women who take advantage then I am with you, friend.

I guess the couple should be isolated and tested on their behavior to judge, which parent is suitable for the upbringing of the child.

this sure is a lovely topic and our society is dealing with it. So, voted up again!


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 4 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA Author

Hello Ruchira,

It is nice to have a discussion on this topic and thanks to you for giving your valuable comments once again. This time I completely agree with you on your suggestion on handling this very delicate matter. A kid's life is based upon it and the like of a kid is very important. Thanks for voting up!

Good Luck!


radhikasree profile image

radhikasree 4 years ago from Mumbai,India

Hi Shampa,

You've opened the eyes of lawmakers and the whole Indian public in this matter. I too protest privilege against one gender, but there are some cases that cannot be handled without discrimination.

A happy family only can bring up healthy and happy children who are the assets to the nation.

Up, interesting and useful.

Sharing with my friends here.


prasonline profile image

prasonline 4 years ago from Sri lanka

This is a very emotional hub.

According to Sri Lankan Culture; Mother's love for children is boundless, sacrificial, selfless and incomparable. It emerges from the bottom of the heart.

Thanks for sharing.


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 4 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA Author

Hello radhikasree,

Happy to find your comment. Thanks for it. You are right that in some cases discrimination becomes a priority but the discrimination must be done on the basis of right and wrong not on the basis of gender. Power always leads to wrong intention and so I believe a patient and perfect hearing is required for the guardianship issue so that no innocent life gets harmed.

Thanks for vote up and sharing.


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 4 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA Author

Hello prasonline,

Thanks for reading this hub and finding it emotional. Indian culture too is like Sri Lankan culture where mothers are given the stature of Goddess. She is known to be multitasking and sacrificing personality. Actually, you see time is changing very fast and so do the attitude of the people. Women at least in India are no exception. This brings out many confrontation as well as women are also becoming very opportunistic especially the educated urban ladies. Thus, in such a state the guardianship issue is a very delicate matter. It should be handled with care because the next generation will be affected by it and so do the future of the country.


Thelma Alberts profile image

Thelma Alberts 4 years ago from Germany

Very interesting hub! I do agree with you that parents should be equal in the eyes of Indian Laws. It´s always the women who are the ones who take care of their children from the very beginning of their birth. The one who cook their food, wash their clothes and stay awake when the children are sick besides any other things. Are men in India helping their wives with the household chores and taking care of their children? I have to ask this because I don´t have any idea. If there would be the First Guardianship over children, then it should be the Women. Thanks for sharing;-)


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 4 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA Author

Hello Thelma Alberts,

Actually in India a law has been recently proposed and is under consideration that the first guardianship of a child must be in the hands of the mothers. I always believe that every one sided lawful right is harmful. Be it a man or a woman it is going to be misused. That's the reason I am in favor of equality. May be the men misused it to its optimum and it will take its own time for the women's to be at par in misusing the lawful right. I am deadly against it that to correct one wrong law the government cannot make another wrong law which will imbalance the society and nothing else.

Thanks for asking a question about the Indian men because that's how we can know about each other's country. The percentage is very less but it is gradually showing a positive sign. Hopefully, the scenario will dramatically change for the better. Thanks for commenting and appreciating it.


abithewriter profile image

abithewriter 4 years ago from india

parents should be given equal importance as a child will born only if both are present.


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 4 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA Author

Hello abithewriter,

Thanks for your comment. I do sincerely believe that both the parents have the same right.

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