Successfully Overcoming Embarrassment and Being Caught Out of Place

Never stumble into a lavish mansion

With my suggestions, you can negotiate your way out of this plush setting

Find yourself in this scenario

You are strolling along on the sidewalk in downtown Jackson, Mississippi, minding your own business and suddenly, out of nowhere, steps First Lady, Michelle Obama who doesn’t see you and you collide with her causing an embarrassing moment. How would you handle this sticky-situation? (after the Secret Service men allow you to stand up.)

Would you quickly-apologize, keep your hands in the air, grovel, or stand ashamed as the First Lady tells you how clumsy you are?

Imagine stumbling into the Oval Office

See this child? This is me when I am overwhelmed with embarrassment

There is a right and wrong way to react to faux pa's

If you are like any normal person, you might initiate all four responses. I mean doing all four would not hurt at that most-humiliating moment. But who are we to point fingers? It is what it is and nothing less than a sophisticated time machine that would carry you back to the time before Michelle stepped out in front of you so you could simply stop and allow her to take the right-of-way.

But sadly, and very-depressing as it is, to date there are no time machines, or any that the federal government will let us common citizens know about, so we are just stuck dealing with embarrassing and awkward situations as best we can.

I am disabled and not able to work, so I have time for thinking. I think more now than at any time in my life. Sometimes my thinking pays dividends with sensible-ideas that will help my wife, grandkids, and church family, and sometimes my ideas only bring me scorn and laughter, not with me, but at me. And to make it worse, research has taught me that not many people actually love to be laughed at.

For me to try to talk to these stylish people would make me out-of-place

Don't worry. There is hope for us

So I suppose, and this is not meant in the spirit of vengeance, that with the suggestions below, I have reached redemption of those ideas that brought me harvests of ridicule and humiliation. I know this is true, for all of these face-saving suggestions will work. But realistically-speaking, I pray that none of you ever have to use them.

So relax with a fresh cup of coffee and enjoy . . .

“Successfully Overcoming Embarrassment and Being Caught Out of Place”

I am not going to be found out-of-place with this gorgeous blond

No thanks, friend. I can embarrass myself without your bar

Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion is no place for me

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I used to embarrass myself like this

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This is the ultimate out-of-place (place) for me--as money is hard to come by

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  1. (For guys who have a weakness for lust for women) If you are caught admiring a woman’s pretty legs, instantly start picking with your hand as if a gnat or dust is in your eye—for if you start nervously-apologizing, this will make it worse for those around you and the woman will stop talking to hear what you are saying, so play it discreetly.
  2. If you make a social faux pa such as misunderstanding the person who is introducing you to two females and you reply, “I know where ‘Julie,’ gets her great looks,” which implies the woman next to ‘Julie’ has to be her mom, but what bites your pride is that the woman is her sister. Just own your blunder and say, “I can say such asinine things at time, but this doesn’t change the fact that both of you are so attractive,” things should be fine and you will not be rode “out of town on a rail.”
  3. When some smart alec intentionally mispronounces your name (e.g.), “Hello, you must be ‘Benny.’ I have heard a few things about you.” Do not show any fear or anger. Just smile and say, “Oh, if you mean televangelist, Benny Hinn, I am honored, but my name is Kenny. Just plain Kenny.” And act as if you were not insulted at all. This takes the power away from the smart alec.
  4. When you are in high-society and introduced to a matronly-lady, do not “shake” her hand like you would an old Army buddy. “Think outside the box,” and kiss her hand as in the days that she will remember. By acting with old fashioned manners, you have made a friend in this lady for life.
  5. You and your family are sitting in your church’s worship service and without warning, you cough several times in row. Of course you cannot help this, but a few people, including your pastor, stares at you with a, “Did you just have to cough?” look on their faces, so instead of mumbling some form of apology, say in a mild tone, “Forgive me. I ask you to excuse me.” Then get to the men’s room to regroup yourself. Sometimes walking away from a battle will make you a winner.
  6. Nothing can be more discomforting than to accidentally-stumble into the wrong motel room, so when this happens to you, and the people who bought the room are inside, do not get upset or over-react. Just accept what you did and say this: “I am terribly sorry. I offer you my apologizes. Your room number is almost like mine. I hope I haven’t ruined anything for you.” Unless the man and wife are engaged in love-making, then you are going to be okay.
  7. Note: I have heard of men who were blessed with a quick-wit who “did” stumble into someone else’s room and the couple were making love, but when the bumbling-guy who stumbled into the room realized he was not in the right place, just smiled and said, “You (speaking to the man) have great taste in women,” and then he left and nothing came of it.
  8. Getting caught-up enjoying beautiful paintings in a lavish art museum, but forget when they close—leaving you inside is not a place you should want to be. When the museum curator mildly scolds you, “Sir, we are closed. I must ask you to leave,” just look enraptured with the paintings and reply, “My fault entirely, sir. These works are so captivating, how could anyone remember such a trivial thing as a closing time? And may I add that your museum has the “best” collection of paintings in the entire city.” Point. Match. Set.

Coming soon . . .”Signs That Show That You Are Too Nice”

P.S. A special thanks to fellow hubber and friend, The Dirt Farmer for helping with the name of the unnamed girl seen with Arliss Howard, who played Cowboy in Full Metal Jacket . . .that was Debra Winger. Thanks again. KENNETH

Me hanging-out with these pretty girls would be for me totally out-of-place

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Comments 17 comments

Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 2 years ago

Great piece! Some where in history we have at least experience something on your list of embarrassment . But we can never be so important that we will not admit error no matter what status we have.

You are a honest and nice Guy, ! Thanks again for your good reading.


taiwokareem profile image

taiwokareem 2 years ago from Salford

Another great piece and a bit of humour. Voted up


jemuelO profile image

jemuelO 2 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Great hub! Wonderfully written and with a good touch of humor. I caught myself smiling while reading your hub. You really made my day, Kenneth. Thank you so much!

Voted up and all!


jemuelO profile image

jemuelO 2 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Great hub! Wonderfully written and with a good touch of humor. I caught myself smiling while reading your hub. You really made my day, Kenneth. Thank you so much!

Voted up and all!


sheilamyers 2 years ago

Very funny! I'll have to remember these if I'm ever in any of these situations.


Dana Tate profile image

Dana Tate 2 years ago from LOS ANGELES

As always a very humorous read! I will definitely remember these tips, if I find myself in this situation! Voted up! shared! facebook!


word55 profile image

word55 2 years ago from Chicago

Hey Ken, Funny you wrote this. I was embarrassed actually at The WHITE HOUSE once. Pres. Bush was in office July 18, 2001. I was at a poetry convention in Washington at the time. A companion and I wanted to tour The HOUSE. I was escorting her also a poet, through the HOUSE when she suddenly pulled out a camera and started taking pictures. I didn't notice it immediately nor did I think much about it. I was admiring the sites. Pres. Bush wasn't in town. A security guy came over and balled her out a bit. I stepped in and said sir, I apologize for my wife she didn't know the rules. I immediately took the camera from her and stashed it in my pocket, grabbed her hand and proceeded to walk on, thru the HOUSE. I was hoping we wouldn't get arrested by the big guy and also hoped he wouldn't ask for the camera. Anyway, he let us go. That was a moment for me. Thanks for the good advice here buddy :-)


old albion profile image

old albion 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

Hi Kenneth. Another tip top hub today. You certainly touch a few bases. I am also disabled and a full time wheelchair user. I get many of the points you make.

Graham.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Graham,

I am so sorry about your disability and being in a wheelchair. Thank you for your nice comments and for understanding how my mind works. Hope you have a peaceful night.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Word55,

A sincere thank you for your comment, and a WHY haven't you written a hub about your White House experience? I mean that. Not many of us will ever get to go to the White House or even meet (a) president like you and your wife did.

I am totally-serious. Do it. I will be first to comment.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Dana,

Thank you so much for your kind remarks.

They help me from week to week to be more creative and abstract in my hub creativity.

I mean every word I say.

So be careful when you visit with Pres. Obama and Michelle.

Tell them I said hello.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, sheilamyers,

If I know you by your comments, you will never be in this situation for you are a lady who can handle any situation. I have committed to memory your comments about What Not to Do on A Blind Date and the Tour Guide hub . . .you are tough and I mean that with respect.

I would be glad to meet you in the future and shake your hand out of respect.

I am serious.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

JemuelO,

I appreciate you very much for taking time out of your life to read and comment on this hub.

Your comments are very important to me. Seriously.

Come back and visit with me anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, taikwokareem,

Thank you very much for your comment as well.

I am so proud to have so many GREAT FOLLOWERS. I am one blessed guy on Hubs.

I wish for you, a peaceful and quiet night.

Come back for a visit anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Kiss and Tales (love that name)

Thank you so much for your warm compliment. This is pretty much all I have done this Sunday afternoon, Aug. 3, was answer my hub comments and I have seen your name more than once. Wow. Thanks.

I hope in some way that I can, with God's help, continue to make you and all of my followers happy even if for a few minutes.

God bless you all.


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 2 years ago from California

I would be in trouble in all these situations. I tend to giggle when I am in trouble, which only makes matters worse.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, tirelesstraveler,

Me too! Wow! I never thought I would find anyone who had this in common with me. I was born with a lot of nervous energy and when something happens funny in a serious locale, I lose it. Thanks for sharing, dear friend.

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