The 10 Most-Dangerous (and Foolish) Things One Can Do on a Farm

Children pick  cotton. Photo  taken Oct 10, 1916 .
Children pick cotton. Photo taken Oct 10, 1916 . | Source
Some farmers are known for selling produce  on the road side.
Some farmers are known for selling produce on the road side. | Source

What am I doing?

I shouldn't be publishing this piece. Why?

Because I give not only my treasured-followers, but all America credit for being very intelligent about everything from escaping from a dark cave without any help from survival expert, Les Stroud to baking a birthday cake by simply following the directions on the box of cake mix.

That's why.

This hub coincides with my previous hub of "Getting Back at Mean 'Unk Jake," being that it was also farm-related as is this one. We should all have a great time.

Cattle are kept in big barns on the bigger cattle farms.
Cattle are kept in big barns on the bigger cattle farms. | Source
Star of Texas  Fair and Rodeo.
Star of Texas Fair and Rodeo. | Source
Farm families  enter prize bulls  in contests.
Farm families enter prize bulls in contests. | Source
Harvesting hay is but one job to do on a thriving farm.
Harvesting hay is but one job to do on a thriving farm. | Source
Cattle farming is a very lucrative industry in our United States.
Cattle farming is a very lucrative industry in our United States. | Source
This farm family is examining a corn crop that will soon be harvested.
This farm family is examining a corn crop that will soon be harvested. | Source
 Farmer teching  son to drive  tractor.
Farmer teching son to drive tractor. | Source

TV shows cast on a farm

See what happens if you rush a bull

Be advised

Before we begin our journey "down home" to the farm, let me say that information contained in this hub is for visitors to farms, but since you will only be visiting, there is not that much danger in you doing the things I am advising against in the text and to males who were born to farming parents and you were cursed or blessed (depending on if you already have a criminal record) with a mischievous streak.

The title of this piece should be self-explanatory. My type of hub.

The 10 Most-Dangerous (and Foolish) Things One Can Do on a Farm

10.) Dying your hair blond - - like former celebrity, Gary Busey, and build a ramp over the fence that keeps animals inside the barnyard and try to jump it with your somewhat-untrustworthy motorbike.

9.) Rushing into the pen - - where the bulls are kept. But you are dressed in blue swimming trunks, tee-shirt and red cape. Yes, you are foolish enough to do an impression of Superman, but the bull hates it and sends your butt back over the fence.

8.) Steal all of the - - eggs from the hen house and use them to throw at your sister, father, or anyone who happens to stop by the farm. I do give you credit for having the sense to climb the huge Maple tree in front of your house in order to keep yourself from being caught for this malicious act.

7.) Trying your best - - to pick up a hen who has just hatched a new bunch of chicks. Oh, you think hens are lovable. Could be, but not when they have new babies to feed and protect. Go ahead. Do it and see if the mother hen does not flog you like an angry school marm.

6.) Tying a rope - - to one of the limbs of that same huge Maple where you hid in order to drop eggs on people, but this time, you use the rope to pretend you are "Tarzan of The Apes," and swing over your parents or grandparents (who own the farm) while doing his famous yell, but when you drop to the ground, bust a few Elvis Presley moves and belt out, "Hound dog."

5.) Hiding the - - keys to your parents' or grandparents' pickup truck. This is not only mean, but stupid. But you insist on some good, clean fun as you sit back with a smug look on your face and watch your parents or grandparents "hit the panic button" for not having keys to start their truck to deliver a load of produce to the market.

4.) Calling - - every business in the Yellow Pages and set-up different times for the businesses' rep's to come to the farm to talk to "Mr. Homer Casey," your dad or granddad which you are telling the business is you. Of course you are disguising your voice. Sure, these rep's will come to make a sale, but now you have concrete trucks, car dealers with new trucks for "you" to look at and so on.

3.) Getting on your - - cellphone away from your family and making prank calls to them while they are trying to eat or work.

2.) Dress-up - - in your "Sunday best," suit, vest, white shirt, tie, nice slippers, then grab a hoe and head to the cornfield to hoe out the unwanted weeds. Make sure that your dad, mom, or grandpa sees you doing this. This bit comes with a danger. Your parents or grandparents might become worried about your mental state and have you examined by a professional.

1.) Taking a bottle - - of horse liniment and hold up your horse's tail and rub a handful on his sitting down place. Also do this to your herd of cows. Before long, it will be pure "animal pandemonium" and all because you are a fun-loving kid who was born on a farm.

Note: if any of you teen's who are of a farming family and get nerve enough to do any of these comical tips, then receive a severe punishment from your parents or grandparents, I am not responsible. That is why I am writing this. To cover my bases.

Sing-a-long time

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Comments 6 comments

shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 8 months ago from Texas

Hahaha. My dad grew up on a farm and I remember my grandma telling me about a time when one of my aunts caught a skunk in the chicken coop in a bag. She took it over for a horse to smell. I guess the horse thought it was feed? Either way, she and the horse both got punished! LOL

I can't help but wonder if maybe one or two of these you speak from personal experience? hahahaha


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 8 months ago from England

LOL! all my relatives going back into ancestors were farmers, so I would imagine they would know some of these! mind you back then it was all work and no play, so perhaps not! love the liniment on the horses butt! LOL!


grand old lady profile image

grand old lady 8 months ago from Philippines

I died laughing over this one. The Superman was my favorite, but all the tips are gems. Ah, Kenneth Avery, reading your articles are a great way to pass time:)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 8 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Grand Old Lady (who is NOT old),

Thanks so much for your laughing at this hub.

That makes me happy when my followers love my work and react with laughter.

I appreciate you, Grand Old Lady (who is NOT old).

Peace to you.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 8 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Nell Rose,

It has been such a long time since I have talked with you.

How are you? Are things good for you?

I do appreciate your Friendship and Following. And the warm comment on this piece.

Is anyone looking?

Okay. Bring on the horses!

Love you, Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 8 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, shanmarie,

Loved the comedy in your comment.

You were blessed with brave and daring aunts. Wish I could met them.

Wish I had a photo of the horse's reaction to the skunk.

Write me again and again.

Love,

Kenneth

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