The Domestic Tranquility Officer
New Role for the Unemployed Veteran
Today’s employment prospects look quite dismal. These times are especially hard for returning veterans, such as myself, seeking employment opportunities. Fortunately there are plenty of chances to stay busy in one’s own household as a Domestic Tranquility Officer. This is the role I have assumed since coming off of active duty orders just a couple of months ago. The pay is non-existent, but the rewards are plentiful; moreover, one is never at a loss for something to do, especially when considering the care of a two year old. The three main areas of responsibility include insect and pest extermination, sanitation and cleanliness operations, and sustenance procurement and preparation. These duties demonstrate how the Domestic Tranquility Officer’s day can be full, fast-paced, hectic, and still rewarding.
Insect and pest extermination can be a nerve-wracking process. There is always some sort of creepy, crawly thing around the house that requires the immediate intervention of the male within the household. Based solely upon the dynamic of my own household, the female is usually in no capacity to handle such crises involving unwanted pests. The screams from one’s spouse upon discovering such unwelcome guests can send one into cardiac arrest. It is in the Domestic Tranquility Officer’s best interest to stay on top of his insect and pest extermination duties. Domestic Tranquility is much more attainable when spouses and toddlers do not discover these things.
Sanitation and cleanliness operations can seem an almost insurmountable task at times. In the days when this type of work was almost exclusively handled by females, it was commonly referred to as housework. If allowed to lapse, the workload can be overwhelming. These operations include, but are not limited to, sweeping, mopping, dusting, removing waste, and washing mountains of laundry. Most males are ill-equipped for laundry tasks and may require extensive training. Mastery of these tasks can go a long way towards achieving domestic tranquility.
Sustenance procurement and preparation can be considered the most important task a Domestic Tranquility Officer may tackle. This is especially true when a toddler is involved. This can also be very detrimental if not handled properly. The detriment is not exclusive to one’s health. Neglecting to feed a toddler can see the Domestic Tranquility Officer in jail, as the screams from a hungry toddler can be mistaken for the beating of a child to a neighbor’s ears. If one’s spouse arrives home to find the Domestic Tranquility Officer in jail and the toddler in the care or the Department of Child Services, then domestic tranquility is lost and the mission a failure. At this point things can become detrimental to one’s health.
The Domestic Tranquility Officer’s day can be very full, as the tasks involved can occupy most every waking hour. The proper mastery of insect and pest extermination, sanitation and cleanliness operations, and sustenance procurement and preparation can lead to domestic bliss and tranquility. The consequences of mission failure have some devastating and far-reaching effects. The consequences can be felt in one’s reputation, wealth, health, and all-around well-being. In contrast to the consequences, the rewards of mission success become quite obvious.