The Importance of Doing Laundry
The Importance of Doing Laundry
We could nag, but this is better. It's less work for us to use the words of others to emphasize the importance of doing laundry. Besides, if you saw the way we dressed, you'd laugh your mouse off.
An Important Executive Discusses the Importance of Doing Laundry
Important Executive "BG" says:
"The importance of doing laundry? Well, I simply can't emphasize how important it's been to me since I quit college. My partners and I were mildly successful in the computer business, but we wanted more. I had an idea for a coin-operated laundry business plan, but that didn't fit our business model. My buddy Steve wanted to start a pick up laundry service but all we had was my stupid Corvair. One lonely Friday evening I was sitting in the laundromat staring out the Window while my clothes were drying. I struck up a conversation with the girl at the next machine. Turns out her father was a big shot at some company that was looking for an operating system for their new line of personal computers. If I had not been doing my laundry that night, I might be just another Harvard dropout."
A Famous Movie Star Discusses the Importance of Doing Laundry
Famous Actor "BP" says:
"You want to know about the importance of doing laundry? (laughs) My career changed forever when I decided to do laundry. I was preparing to audition for the part of Willie Loman in Death of a Salesman. While reading the script, I forgot about my clothes in the dryer. Everything shrunk. I was horrified, but I had to wear my lucky acting shirt to the audition even though it was about 5 sizes too small. I didn't get the role, but my shirt was so tight that the producers noticed my rock-hard abs and cast me in Thelma and Louise as a derelict shirtless cowboy drifter."
A High Powered Lawyer Comments on the Importance of Doing Launday
High Powered Lawyer "CT" says:
"Yes, we all have a constitutional obligation to do our own laundry. It's not exactly in the Bill of Rights, but if there was a Bill of Responsibilities, then it'd be right up there with telling the truth at Congressional hearings. I remember back in the day when I was a struggling law clerk trying anything to get noticed by the big shot judges. When they learned I could get powdered sugar out of those black robes, they quickly warmed up to me. I can't say with any certainty if that skill helped me advance to the highest court in the land, but I definitely have the best looking robe on the bench."
A Famous Agronomist Preaches on the Importance of Doing Laundry
Famous Agronomist "JA" says:
"My plan was to travel the countryside, spreading the good news about apples and planting orchards wherever I could. In order to do this I needed the support and good will of the local folk. I knew they'd have no time for me if I smelled like moldy tree bark. I was keenly aware of the importance of doing laundry, even if I truly had no need for fancy commercial washing machines. Back then there was no pick up laundry service, unless you count that crazy guy who stole my clothes when I was skinny-dipping in the Ohio River. Every morning I'd lather, rinse, and repeat in a creek before setting off on my quest. It sure paid off; just look at the price of apples the next time you're at the grocer."
A Famous US President Pontificates on the Importance of Doing Laundry
"The Continental Congress came to see me when I was down by the Potomac. I was washing my clothes on a rock. They wanted me to be Vice President. I needed a few minutes to compose myself. Knowing that clothes make the man, I donned my Sunday Best and curry-combed my horse. Upon seeing me in my finery, they decided I could be President. Some of them even suggested King, but that seemed historically insensitive at the time."
There You Have It
The Importance of Doing Laundry cannot be overemphasized. Should you ever find yourself doubting the comments of the preceding famous people, remember the classic words of Beach Boy Brian Wilson:
"I made a dollar a day sweeping a laundry out. Then
we made a record that was number two in Los Angeles. We got so excited
hearing it on the radio that Carl threw up.
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