The Issue of Equality

Hot-button topics

I made a personal vow in 2011. One that I'd hoped would stretch farther than it is about to.

That vow, simply, was to refrain from spouting opinions and [god forbid] facts about taboo topics. The most important, in the social realm at least, appears to be the issue of equal rights. Who can blame anyone for wanting equal and fair representation? I certainly can't. I mean, personally, I enjoy a wide array of mind altering substances. It should be my freedom to indulge myself as I please, within reason of course--reason being "that line you shouldn't cross, because you'll hurt something or somebody."

But it's fair, because I enjoy it and because I'm not hurting you or anyone else, save perhaps myself. The self-destruction talk aside, I want to make one clear, single point today, and hopefully I'll never have to make it again.

As far as the LGBT(etc.) community is concerned, leave them alone and let them be.

This article in particular is directed toward the theist who might not quite understand the value of equality. You know, because said theist likely has a penchant for entitlement, one that revolves around their own selfish delusions and attempts to irrationally refute anyone who might colour outside their lines.

Even more specifically, I'm addressing you--you know who you are, oh daunting past--you to whom I dedicated so much of my formative years...oh you, cursed fundamentalism.


This is wrong.
This is wrong.
But this is A-OK, blokes!
But this is A-OK, blokes!

"Sanctity" [...]

You know what really grinds my gears?

Words.

You know, those little formations of letters, sometimes numbers (or vise-versa) that collectively stretch together into some measure of conscious communication. Without words, I'd not be able to effectively communicate such frustration from such a distance. Even in person, communication becomes a mere breakdown of primeval gestures and apish grunts. Life as we know it reverts to merely a caricature of a bad episode of "The Flinstones".

But words are as much a cause for grief as a vehicle for necessity. I dislike them in their entirety, for without them I could go through my day largely ignoring the idiocies that life in this fantabulous country can bring. With words, however, I have to listen to the grating of teeth-on-gums madness that is the Ridiculous Right.

Growing up, the Ridiculous Right was actually pretty quiet, content to remain in their preferred lodgings, away from the humdrum of "the world" and away from the temptations of the devil. However, something snapped when we got to Clinton's presidency. Something about an old, white, southern guy getting blown by a curvy jewish girl was...well, enough to cause a riot.

Oh, and riot "we" (I only include myself in this group because I was 10 and had nowhere else to go) did. "Impeachment!" was screamed from the tallest rooftops, and the movement began to gain...who am I kidding, the idea was bollocks.

Why I bring up the whole fiasco, is because, for some odd reason--in my world, perhaps my world only--this signaled "the end of days."

You can't make this stuff up. I mean, I've tried writing fantastic fiction my entire life. I cannot equal the madness that I simply witness on a daily basis within the confines of this delusional cult.

What word truly bothers me, and it's slung around more often than most anything is, is the word "sanctity." You know, that word no one outside of fundamental christianity seems to know the definition of. Allow me to help.

Basically, it's the state of "being holy."

You can see the confusion here. The word "holy" is 100% subjective (don't let them convince you otherwise) and therefore impossible to use in the context they're using it, because...well, it becomes entirely personal. And we can't make laws about personal opinions, because then the gays would win!

No, no, sanctity is one of those words they're trying desperately to own as their own. They're trying to convince outsiders that we SHOULD care about marriage, because their god says so. Or said so. I can't remember, is their god still alive?

All this humdrum is pulled from some obscure handful of words in a book called Leviticus. However, they completely ignore the rest of the book they hail as god's word, like punishing those who divorce.

This brings me to my clear, solid point: if we're going to outlaw homosexuality, then we need to work on the constitution across the board to match the bible.

Let's begin.

The Sanctity of Divorce

Amendment one: The Sanctity of Divorce.

Article one shall state that anyone entering a union that is validated by the state, or any private religious institution licensed by the state, cannot exit said union without direct consent of the state or the institution. Also, certain laws will be taken into effect:

1) Auto-adultery: every single person guilty of divorce shall have a scarlet letter tattooed onto their forehead, forever signifying that they have divorced. A new letter appears each time divorce occurs. (Matt. 5:31-32)

2) Women are bound to their husband until death, and can only remarry if the husband actively professes absolute faith in Jesus Christ [alone] on his death bed. (Rom. 7:2-3)

3) If you take a woman's virginity or rape her [men only], you take the woman as your wife. You pay 100 pieces of silver [we'll translate this as about 10k USD] to her father, and you keep her. That's all. Pretty swell deal, this one is. (Deut 22...yes, the whole thing is this fucked up).

And my favorite...

4) "If a man commits adultery with another man's wife--with the wife of his neighbor--both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death."

Well, we established that [according to the bible] divorce is adultery. So I guess we pretty much only need the 1st and 4th laws then. I like them, in fact, I should be put to death right now, because I'm divorced!



If the shoe fits...
If the shoe fits...

"It's all about CONTEXT!" [...]

If I had a nickel each time I heard a "biblical scholar" tout such phrasing, I'd be very rich.

I've given context, and your god says that he wants you dead because you snogged someone in your head. Or because you slept with the babysitter behind your wife's back. Or because you whistled and cat-called some poor, innocent lady on her way to work yesterday.

He wants you dead.

There's no if's, and's, or butt's about it. At all. Zilch.

You sign your own death-wish by signing the bible into a position where it is the basis for all law. The funniest part is, they really do know this would be true, but they hope that they can retain enough control to pick and choose which biblical laws to enact. Now that they're losing this control, they're panicking, and causing proverbial hissy fits each sunday because "them damned homogays keep taking our guns! 'Murica!!"

But...but you can't even keep one, even two, marriages going for much longer than a decade and two kids. Why on earth would you insist that such insane criteria be met by those who are different from you?

Because you're a douche.

And these douches keep coming up with creative little sleek phrases like "the solution to the gay marriage issue."

I have a solution. It's the only solution.

Shut up and leave people alone. There doesn't have to be a law for everything.

In fact, it shouldn't even be worded as "let them get married." Who's letting them? They don't need yours or my permission to be consenting adults.


Let's Face Reality

It's time to face reality. It's time to put our foot down. It's time to call them what they are:

Asshats.

Douchebags.

Anything-else-that-comes-to-mind-you'd-call-someone-you-really-didn't-like.

They're not reasonable, thus we can't reason with them. They want their totalitarian control, and they want it now--and forever. They want their theocracy. They want their jesus.

They want it, they want to eat it, and they want that goddamned cherry on top, because they deserve it for not being gay. Four divorces later, these imbeciles continue to create strife and pain for harmless and innocent people just simple seeking personal happiness. The gays aren't asking for laws against straight people getting married...

But, hey LGBT community...maybe you should?

Maybe it's time to fight fire with fire. Use their book, make some laws. Stone every single christian divorcee to death, because...

The bible says so, and it's only fair.


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