The Politically Savvy Shoppers Guide to New & Exciting Halloween Costumes and Decorations
Autumn is practically here and Halloween (or Samhain for us pagans) is just 'round the corner!
I don't know about you but for me the glisten has fallen off the pumpkin when it comes to Halloween decorations. Same old jack o' lanterns, unscary ghost props, frazzled fake cobwebs, ect. When it comes to holiday treats my family are wearied of the standard goblin-face cupcakes and fake hand in the green jello punch, too. Even choosing a Halloween costume has lost its excitement (there are only so many times you can put on a harem outfit and keep it in pristine condition what with hubby typically taking out the Tarzan costume with the matching "grape vine" every year).
Anyway, for the last week I had been butting my brain trying to figure out new and BOLD celebration ideas. Then, low and behold, what should the mailman drop into our box but a catalog from The Politically Savvy Shoppers Seasonal Ideas Catalog*. It is definitely not your run-of-the-mill seasonal catalog, but hey, for some of us it may take a little different to make the holiday feel like a holiday again! Besides, in small print on the ordering page it says a portion of all purchases goes toward the Dividends for Warren Buffett's Secretary Fund. A worthy cause, no doubt!.
The following items are a few samples from the catalog. If you are looking to celebrate the season AND be a political animal, who knows? You may just find that unique & thrilling decorating idea you have only DREAMED of!
*a parody name, not intended to be taken seriously. In fact, none of these items are real nor are they intended to be assumed as anything more than parody.
From 2011 The Politically Savvy Shoppers Seasonal Ideas Catalog
Costumes and Masks
The George Soros soul-trader costume & mask
This snazzy costume doesn't just make you feel like a billion-odd bucks but through a special agreement with the dark lords of Chuthulu you can now actually help George Soros barter and trade for real souls! Just buy and wear this outfit and you're set to hit the crossroads on an exciting career in Soul wheel'n and deal'n! Outfit includes realistic George Soros mask, parchment contract and quill. The perfect suit to help George make all the deals he misses during nap time! And if you'd rather just wear the costume for some mundane purpose like going to a party Chuthulu will understand. Just mark the Not Interested In Work on the order form, you lazy bum!
The Chairman of the Federal Reserve costume & mask
You'll feel like you're walking Boardwalk in this dapper Ben Bernanke costume! Put on the mask, fool your friends, scare children and attract the Kardashian sisters like a human magnet! Comes with top hat and play money almost as real-looking as the cash Ben grinds out at the Federal Reserve!
The Michelle Malkin Rabid Shape-Shifter Face Accessories
This Halloween throw out the old monster garb and masks and become the most ferocious creature your neighborhood has ever seen -or fled for their lives from! The Michelle Malkin Rabid Shape-shifter Face Accessories comes with hypo-allergenic non-prescription "glowing red" contact lenses and a set of snarly fangs. Hours of endless entertainment awaits with this unique and absolutely horrifying facial transformation!
The Nancy Pelosi "Team Obama" Cheerleader uniform & mask
BACK THIS YEAR BY POPULAR DEMAND! This attractive cheerleader uniform and mask will leave nobody wondering where YOUR loyalties lie! Comes with a set of pom-poms and pamphlet of pro-Obama cheers composed and used inside of Congress by Nancy Pelosi herself! So what are you waiting for? GOOOOO TEAM OBAMAaaaaaa!!!
Goodies & Treats
Holiday reading & listening celebrations
The Michele Bachmann Pledge Toilet & Roll Tissue
A single roll of this plush tissue is printed with every single pledge Rep. Bachmann has made since becoming a GOP Presidential hopeful! Perfect for rolling the yards and trees of the most morally derelict neighbors, it can also be used as an ordinary tissue in the bathroom. Order one roll and get a second at half price! So why don't you show your support of Mrs. Bachmann's campaign of decency today and make sure you still have something to wipe with once you've trashed the neighborhood!!
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