The Scandalmonger – a defamer par excellence

Introduction

The nature of human beings comprises good, bad and ugly characters, all of them equally ready to dominate in specific circumstances. One person could be an extremely good character at work, but ugly at home and/or bad while s/he is driving a vehicle. Nobody is all good, or all bad, or all ugly, though people of quality are most of the time in most circumstances good.

I can be bad by merely mentioning the name of the person who had inspired me to expose the character of a ‘scandalmonger’. I can even become ugly and publish a list of names of all the scandalmongers I have met in my life. But then I will have to put my own name on the list as well, for I can clearly remember the times I was a scandalmonger. And of course I can justify my behavior with many rational explanations.


Credit to xedos4 @ freedigitalphotos.net
Credit to xedos4 @ freedigitalphotos.net

What is a scandalmonger?

The Internet’s free dictionary defines a scandalmonger as a person who stirs up public outrage toward someone or their actions by spreading rumors or malicious gossip.

The scandalmonger is a person who charges others falsely or justifiably with malicious intent. Discrediting and defaming others is simply their modus operandi. Scandalmongers prefer not to see the good qualities in others. They don’t want to recognize any notable achievements of others. They always remember, either in silence or aloud for all to hear, the bad and ugly they have seen, or heard about others.

According to Roget’s Thesaurus synonyms and relating nouns and verbs are blab, gossip, gossiper, gossipmonger, newsmonger, rumormonger, tabby, talebearer, taleteller, tattle, tattler, tattletale, telltale, whisperer, yenta, and all of these are persons habitually engaged in idle talk about others.


Credit to renjith krishnan @ freedigitalphotos.net
Credit to renjith krishnan @ freedigitalphotos.net

Conversation with a Scandalmonger:

You: “Jenny looks lovely today. Pink really suits her.”

SM (Scandalmonger): “Three days ago she was wearing a yellow dress that must have been her grandmother’s. She looked like a scarecrow. She actually once admitted that she has no idea what suits her and what not....”

***

You: “Johnny is extremely clever for his age.”

SM: “He is, in fact, a brat. The other day he talked to his mother as if she was born to be his slave. If one of my children ever behaves like him, I will never show my face in public again.”

***

You: “Maggy has the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen.”

SM: “Did you notice how big her nose is?”

***

You: “Elvis Presley is my favorite rock-star.”

SM: “Elvis was a drug addict.”

***

You: “I think Joey is a lovely mother.”

SM: “You haven’t heard her shouting like a fishwife at her children when they don’t do what she wants them to do.”

***

You: “Ex du Zet was an amazing writer.”

SM: “He was a covetous, shallow, puffed-up, crude, flaccid man who loved only himself.”

***

Scandalmongers malign others without any qualms of conscience. Discrediting others is part of their nature; they don’t see this as ‘ugliness’, but rather as their right to be honest and outspoken. They even believe they are serving their fellowmen by ‘opening their eyes’ to the bad and the ugly.


Credit to digitalart @ freedigitalphotos.net
Credit to digitalart @ freedigitalphotos.net

What motivate a person to be a scandalmonger?

An inferior complex, especially one that has not been acknowledged, tends to force a person to see the bad in others in order to feel normal and even of superior quality.

A superior complex will always force a person to hold others in scorn. To prove his superiority he will virulently turn the spotlight on the dark sides of others.

Grievances can change the best characters into scandalmongers. The need to see others suffer the same pain they’ve brought on us can bring out the bad and ugly in all of us. In our desperate efforts to regain our emotional balance and peace of mind, we tend to overstep the boundaries to expose the shortcomings of others. Like wild animals in a trap we feel trapped in our pain, and just like wild animals in pain we will hurt others left right and centre and lose our dignity. In retrospect I always categorize myself in this group whenever I found myself guilty of tattling.

Another reason for being a scandalmonger is simply ignorance. Children grew up in families and environments amongst people who gossip all the time. They merely accept gossiping as a human right. They have a specific view: Do and say whatever you want, but always know that people like to talk about people and they will also like to talk about you. (So you better keep a low profile, for the higher you rise above others the more others will enjoy talking about you.)


How to handle a scandalmonger -

Most of the times the scandalmonger uses the truth or what could be regarded as the truth to discredit another person. Only people who have the tendency to protect others against bullies and intimidators such as scandalmongers, will use another truth in an effort to recover the good, or acceptable reputation of the victim. This normally leads to arguments, as the scandalmonger is bent on proving himself as an adequate judge. After all, he already made up his mind, which is programmed to register negative perceptions. (Any positive perceptions in his mind are merely pending, to be replaced with the negative before final registration.)

Unless you are a screwed advocate, able to befuddle and stupefy others with facts and evidence, the best way to handle a scandalmonger is to ignore all negative remarks coming out of his mouth. Just don't react. Change the subject.

There were many rules I was obliged to obey as a child, which had eventually become natural boundaries I am only able to overstep with a horrible feeling of guilt -

  • “If you don’t have anything good to say about a person, keep your mouth shut.”
  • “Before you say anything nasty about somebody else, make a list of the nasty things others can say about you.”
  • "Slandering others, is killing their reputations."
  • "Never dig up the skeletons of others. If they want to see them, they have to dig them up with the support of a person they can trust."

Credit to lobster20 @ freedigitalphotos.net
Credit to lobster20 @ freedigitalphotos.net

Quotes to mull over -

  • “Anyone who has obeyed nature by transmitting a piece of gossip experiences the explosive relief that accompanies the satisfying of a primary need.” ~ Primo Levi
  • “Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” ~ Miguel Angel Ruiz
  • “Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a Gossip.” ~ Richard Steele
  • “Slander is worse than cannibalism.” ~ John Chrysostom
  • “Society is a republic. When an individual tries to lift themselves above others, they are dragged down by the mass, either by ridicule or slander.: ~ Victor Hugo
  • "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Credit to maple @ freedigitalphotos.net
Credit to maple @ freedigitalphotos.net

More by this Author


Comments 44 comments

always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

Martie, I find this refreshing. It's so easy to be a scandalmonger. When someone is saying hurtful comments, you don't agree, but you say nothing in their defence, then in a sense you're giving support. I see this often. I'm sure i've been guilty of this behavior. Hopefully, we all will be more in tune with the hurt it can cause another. Thank you for a GREAT article.

Hugs


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

always exploring - All things considered, we are all scandalmongers, but some people are tattlers ad nauseam, making everybody, except alike, feel as we were bombarded with sewerage. In fact, this hub is a good example of modest tittle-tattle, and I do wish the person who has made me do this feels bad while reading it. There is meanness in all of us, but we have to control it in order not to repel others. Thanks for being the first to comment, my dearest Ruby. Have a cup on me :)))


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

Scandalmongers sux but I've known a few( one woman and two men) who seriously, didn't have a scandal or gossiping bone in their bodies Martie. This one needed to be written here and you've done a bang-up job on it.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Interesting Hub MartieCoetser. Just stopped by for a read. Hope all is well.


Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 5 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

Great pictures in this hub. I have been a witness to some SMs in my life and as you say, I mostly ignore them.

I myself do as much as I can to never utter remarks that would show me to be an SM, whether I succeed or not is for someone else to judge.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Alastar Packer - you are right. My mother is such a person, though I know she keep most of her thoughts for herself. Thanks for coming by. Take care!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Mckbirdbks - Always nice to see you ;) I wonder what's cooking in your corner?


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Phil Plasma – The moment we say something negative and even positive about someone else, we actually turn the spotlight on ourselves. We really have no idea what others see in us, for every person has a unique set of glasses through which s/he interprets life. By not defaming others, we simply prevent others to classify us as defamers. But yes, sometimes we don’t succeed, and we fail in particularly during moments when we feel threatened, i.a. when a drunk driver bumped into us, or when another person humiliate us, or when our peace gets disturbed.... After all, we are human. Thanks for the visit.


David 5 years ago

Excellent, At your best, as always Martie. Thank You x


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

You deserve an award for this Hub. People like this are dangerous and create havoc with lives, many are responsible for deaths. There is so much good to see in people, why would one choose to focus on the weaknesses? It is a sad commentary of society. Those TV shows that continually play and replay scandals and create a scandal from the scandal promote this in people. I prefer Sesame Street and you!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Ah yes. Excellent focus, Martie. I have a 'no-blab' policy which extends to not even letting on that I know anything blamable. That may be the worse offense. Others' curiosity goes to work and creates something worse than the real thing!

But I confess I've been guilty of blabbing. At the time it may have seemed warranted for some 'noble' purpose, but I always regret defying my own standards and policy and the "good" it served is usually too obscure to be noticed!

Here are some quotes that cast some thought & light on this subject, perhaps:

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"

— Abraham Lincoln

"Those who look for the bad in people will surely find it."

— Abraham Lincoln

"Tact: the ability to describe others as they see themselves."

— Abraham Lincoln

"I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice."

— Abraham Lincoln

"We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it."

— Abraham Lincoln

"Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances."

— Abraham Lincoln

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

— Abraham Lincoln


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

*** David - :)))) Thanks for reading. I can’t help smiling for your few written words, knowing that you prefer talking instead of typing messages. Love you!

*** Hyphenbird – What a lovely comment! Are those ‘scandal-exposing’ shows not horrible... and absolutely common? I can’t believe so many people enjoy watching it. It boggles my mind that people derive pleasure from the scandals of others. I find it totally repulsive. Tell me about the achievements of others, and even about their efforts to reach their highest potential, but please spare me their failures and slip-ups. That I prefer to hear from the person who had experienced it, and only if that person really want me to help him/her to prevent the repeat of it. Take care!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Nellieanna Thanks so much for these lovely quotes. It gives depth to this hub of mine, which, as I’ve said, is nothing but discreet scandalmongering. My intention, however, was not only to force gossipers to realize the ugliness of their actions, but especially to encourage non-gossipers to understand and handle gossipers.

Of course I, too, often fall down to the average-level where people discuss other people (instead of ideas and events), especially when it comes to my ex and the way he conducted himself, and still arrogantly does. Some people will always shock me and force me to find an acceptable excuse for their behavior. In the process I have no other choice but to describe their actions, in other words defaming them.

I love the quotes of Abraham Lincoln. The last two is actually high on my list of mottos: "Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances," and "it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

I must admit the latter is a bit above my head, for I can’t hide my thoughts. If I can’t speak them out of me, I will have to write it out. So I’ve accepted the fact that some people may classify me as a fool, and I’ve decided to consider their opinion of me as yet another source of knowledge and wisdom, which I need in order to grow.

Take care, my dearest Nellieanna. I’m giving you a big-big cyber-hug :))))


Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

The Golden Rule is a good one to help avoid SM. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I'm ashamed to say that most SM I know are women.


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 5 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

Great comments and great article. Awesome... flag up.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Hi, Martie. People who spread malicious gossip - scandalmongers - often do so to make themselves feel better about themselves. We can't change their behavior but we can change how we react to them.

My general raction to a piece of 'juicy' gossip is to say, 'Really," act indifferent and change the subject. Or walk away if necessary.

But I do love this quote by Alice Roosevelt: "If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."

Thanks for your interesting in-depth approach and strategies.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Thanks, Martie for your reply to my comments. I'd been looking at Lincoln's quotes earlier for another reason and, though I've always admired the man's wisdom and common sense, I was amazed at how many really great quotes of his I found. He really believed in his convictions, which were so admirable and not necessarily the popular ones of his time. He was responsible for freeing the slaves and his deeply-held beliefs in equality are unmistakeable. It was not a political ploy by any means. In fact, it probably was responsible for his assassination. But he wouldn't have done it any other way, I'm sure. I consider him a hero.

Hugs, my dear!


thougtforce profile image

thougtforce 5 years ago from Sweden

Thanks for teaching me a new word in English! We have scandalmongers here to, so that is not the new thing, it is the word itself. If I translate the Swedish word for scandalmongers to English it will be: "gossip bitch" as if only women where scandalmongers! Glad to know that isn't the case everywhere:) Somehow I like the word scandalmongers more because it says what it is!

One reason for talking negative about somebody else is because we have a bad self-esteem. And since we continuously value ourselves against others we think it is a quick way to be better than others. But it is the other way around as you have described here.

To get a good self-esteem seems to be one of human’s biggest problems. I wish there was a quick cure to fix it or maybe it should be a major subject in school or at least considered more when we bring up our children. I believe it is the key to so many things in life.

Thanks for this very interesting hub with good advices on how to deal with scandalmongers. We all need the reminder because now and then I think we all fall in the trap.

Take care

Tina


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Truckstop Sally – Gossiping, as we know it in its most common level, is, indeed, a female thing. Males do the same thing in a different way. They are amongst the journalists, the writers of history, politicians, genealogists... They certainly derive great joy from exposing the scandals of others.

Re ‘do to others as you would like them to do unto you’. True scandalmongers just don’t understand this. They will argue: “If I do what the one I am defaming have done, it goes without saying that I, too, will be defamed.” And so they pretend (again) that they are smarter than their victims. Sadly when they do become victims, they merely uphold themselves by becoming better and more dangerous scandalmongers. They are really past redemption. We have to live with them.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

dallas93444 – So nice to see you in my corner. I think getting flagged-up by you is a great achievement :))) Thank you for making my day!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

drbj – I agree wholeheartedly with you. Lovely, but also interesting quote by Alice Roosevelt. One of those contradicting, bible-like phrases that could be interpreted AND preached in many different ways for many years. I believe you know a successful person is somebody who succeeds in keeping people busy, so let’s give Alice applause :))) Thanks for the visit, drbj. I always-always appreciate your comments.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Nellieanna – When I start to read quotes, I can’t stop. I believe Lincoln was/is indeed a hero and role model. Only scandalmongers will find reasons to defame him. Like Beethoven, who was also not popular in his time, Lincoln will ‘live forever’. Thanks for coming back with another profound comment, Nellieanna. You know I just love your thoughts.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

thougtforce – Our word in Afrikaans for a scandalmonger, directly translated in English, is ‘gossip mouth’ - (but specifically the mouth of an animal. We have different words to distinguish between the mouths, feet, hands, etc. of humans and animals).

The word ‘monger’ is so appropriate - Sell or offer for sale from place to place. Ironically scandalmongers steal their stock and give it away for free. Even to people who don’t want it.

But yes, this is a too common human habit to even hope that it will ever end. Just figure we never hear anything bad/negative about anybody. Perhaps ‘doing it in style’ should be the goal :))

Thanks for your visit and lovely comment, Tina. Take care.


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

Nice hub and filled with useful information. I had never heard about this before. You open my eyes about something new for me. Thank you very much. Well done, Marty. Vote it up!

Prasetio


BobbiRant profile image

BobbiRant 5 years ago from New York

This is very interesting,great teaching hub concerning this type of characteristic. I really enjoyed it.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

*** prasetio30 – Are you telling me that the people in your region never gossip, or is it the word ‘scandalmonger’ you’ve never heard before? Thanks for coming by, my friend. I’ll see you soon in your corner – I’ve noticed your new hub on my home page.

*** BobbiRant – Your opinion always means a lot to me – as if I am waiting for you to disagree with me :))) By now I am pretty sure we share an orbit in the universe.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

...always learn something new from you my dear sweet beautiful intelligent friend ....that's why I like coming here to your hubs of distinction and that's why I'm posting this to my Facebook page with a direct link back here.

lake erie time 12:54pm and I sincerely hope you are having a safe and happy summer.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

epigramman – Thanks so much for sharing this with your friends, and for your heart-warming (and smile-provoking) compliments. You make me feel like a queen. Lol!

SA time 7:50pm – still winter, but lovely, warm and sunny.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

Hi, Martie, while I was reading this I could 'see' in my mind one particular person! lol I used to work with her, and was she mean! for some reason she would deliberately go out of her way to cause trouble and scandal, but do it sneakily, to this day I avoid her like the plague! lol she even asked me the other day whether I was on facebook, what!? she is so nosy, I just said, NO! but you are right, it comes from insecurity but I also would like to add genetics! her whole family is like it! lol and just like epi I am going to add the time! 1.40am and it was boiling hot yesterday, I would like your winter though, warm and sunny! lucky thing! lol


CASE1WORKER profile image

CASE1WORKER 5 years ago from UNITED KINGDOM

Scandalmongers- gossips- all the same, why do people do it? I think that as you mature you realise just how difficult life can be and appreciate all that people do, so if the dress is the wrong colour, well be glad it's yellow on a nice sunny day!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

*** Hi Nell Rose – I know quite a few scandalmongers. They are really mean and malicious - sowing suspicion, ruining relationships and creating havoc wherever they go. They are, indeed, like venomous snakes, scorpions and spiders. I was bitten by a spider the other day, not a deadly one, but the pain and discomfort were remarkable and equal to the emotional pain caused by a scandalmonger.

I’m a bit reluctant to blame genes for the actions of gossipers. There is also no evidence that the IQ of a person can increase or decrease his/her tendency to gossip/ slander/defame. But the norms and standards of the family are definitely to blame. If the parents do it, their children will automatically follow suit. It is a very childish habit, noticeable in most teenagers. What is more juicy than a flaw discovered in the head girl or boy, or in somebody who seems to be too high and mighty, or too good in the eyes of adults? And look at us, consuming all scandals committed by famous movie stars, singers, princes and princesses.... Oh, what are we? Typical humans.

Nell, it’s good to know I’m not the only one who is up and about in Hubland at 1:40am – while I have to get up at 6am to be in time for work :))) I try my best to hit the bed not later than midnight, but oh, reading, commenting and writing in here is much nicer than sleep.

PS.: It is very cold today, because of snowfall in the southern and eastern parts of the country.

*** CASE1WORKER – You’ve nailed it perfectly: As we grow older (and wiser), we realize how difficult it is to create and maintain physical and emotional comfort zones for ourselves and our beloveds. We just don’t have the time or energy to tattle about others and their trivia. Thanks so much for your visit.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

Hi, a spider? eek! I think I would have just died of shock without the pain, just the thought of the spider biting me! or actually getting within ten feet of me! lol


parrster profile image

parrster 5 years ago from Oz

Great stuff Martie. Your words of wisdom remind me of another that reads, "For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body... For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison."

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but nothing can lay waste like the tongue.

voted up.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

*** Nell Rose – Fortunately I did not see the monster. I was doing some gardening... It really gives me the creeps to know I was bitten by a sPiDeR :{{{

*** parrster – So nice to meet you! Thank you so much for mentioning the great villain – the tongue. Though I know a few scandalmongers (considering themselves as esteem writers), who use their fingers to defame others, and we get photographers too, called Paparazzi, who are devils in disguise. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

This is a very interesting hub and I know I try to stay away from scandalmongers. I don't like to be around people that gossip all the time but I guess we are all guilty once in a while. This is a very cleverly written hub. Rated up and awesome.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Pamela99 –Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote is one of my rules of thumb. “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”

I really want to be a ‘great mind’; I feel absolutely mortified when I find myself in the ‘small mind’ category. Unfortunately some facts about others are too difficult to ignore, especially of politicians or famous personalities, not to talk about religious leaders doing things no-one in their right mind will do. Thanks so much for the visit. I’m so behind with reading my friend’s hubs, including yours. I’m hopping over to you right now.


babasanju profile image

babasanju 5 years ago from India

Wow this hub is really very interesting, though I haven't read whole of it only till "Conversation with a Scandalmonger: "

And like a Scandalmonger I started commenting.. hehe.. thinking I am intelligent enough to understand rest of the post Lol.. and I can handle a Scandalmonger (after all once I read IRON CUTS IRON).

Dear, Scandalmonger generally try to defame individuals, i guess. And through this post you Scandalmongered whole Scandalmonger community. hehehehe...

But whatever-while reading this hub and precisely "conversation with Scandalmonger" I was thinking they are integral part of out society and they too must exist to have fun (like I enjoyed reading about them)in free time. Otherwise life may become dull....I wish their presence around me!

Thank you for being there with me :-) Lol


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi my good friend, Baby Sanju! So you caught me red-handed scandalmongering the entire Nation of Scandalmongers. Hahaha! We have a saying I need to alter a bit: “The kettle can’t slander the pot, because they are both black.” Yes, this hub is indeed a perfect example of tittle-tattling about ‘others’, while I am just as guilty as they.

But so true, how boring would life be if we never hear about the scandals of others? And how will we be able to distinguish between good and bad if we never hear what others are doing and not doing? We can only see the good in ourselves – if others don’t bring it out so that we can clearly see it, or merely tell us about it, how will we ever know our shortcomings in order to try to become better human beings?

Now there, you’ve finally justified scandalmongerism :)))

You remind me very much of my son. He also tends to jump to the end of my discussions, thinking he already knows the inside and outside of it. But eventually he always reaches the point where he have no choice but to admit that he had not paid attention when he was suppose to. But that’s okay, because then he can continue to preach out of his own heart what I had preached... just to realize, like me, that people don’t really ‘listen’ to others, they merely hear what they already know and understand. What they don’t know and understand, Life will teach them in time (maybe). Only Life can open our eyes and ears.

Will you remember this, babasanju :))))

I’m hopping over to your corner to see what’s cooking in there :)))


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

Wow what a fantastically researched Hub Martie, you are the greatest:0) Oh my I have seen quite a few of these characters in my time walking this earth. A great description "Scandalmongerism" back stabbers, the ones who hang out and live by the fountain cooler in every business gossiping, telling tall tales about their co-workers, friends and family.

I have a great respect for the person who's actions are bigger than words, and those who keep their flapping lips zippered, yet listen intently. Those are the making of a leader. Thank you for sharing. I will now go back to my reclusive cave and chat with my Muse. he he he.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

saddlerider1 – Well, as babasanju pointed out, life would be a bit boring without gossipers. Although I will not admit it, I really appreciate CERTAIN sensational news, especially those that makes me like myself a little more. Lol! All my life one of my rules was, “If you can’t say anything good about someone else, say nothing.” But, unfortunately, too often, my behavior is in conflict with this rule, especially while I am a writer. I mean, how will it be possible for me to create a bad (or a good) character if I don’t have a living model to work on? Thank you for coming over for the read, Saddle. Enjoy your interactions with the Muse. See you again soon :)))


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 5 years ago

“Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

I'm for all this , especially "using the power of your word in the direction of truth and love." I try. But- I've been on 15 East, I've been in jail falsely, I've been to war - so - my track/path has been skewed. My words of many color are definitely "in the direction of truth and love". They meander - but the destination is truth and love. God bless.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi Micky Dee, it is always so nice to see you in my corner. Thank you for leaving a profound comment. When we ask ourselves what we want to achieve with our words, the answer would be either ‘something good’ or ‘something bad’. BUT, apparently most of us does not know what is good or bad for us (and for others). However, my friend, we are but only human. I am sure we are all searching for answers and solutions, though we have to experience (painfully) the truth before we can understand it. Take care, Micky!


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 4 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

Martie, what a fantastic study in human nature. You've captured it. I must admit, of course, that I can include myself in the category of "guilty," too. I think there isn't a person among us who hasn't indulged in at least one of the expressions of feelings of inferiority, jealousy, spite, envy, while comparing oneself to others. I love the quotes, the ways in which to counter a "scandalmonger," and the ways to identify habitual behaviors of the SM. Very very good, Martie..my goodness, I have to catch up w/all your incredible writing and insight, wisdome and words of advice which shine through your astute words, and between the lines. UP Interesting, Awesome and Useful, my friend!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi, Lucky Cats, I do believe there is a scandalmonger in all of us, but we should not allow the little debil to spoil our characters. I appreciate your visit to my corner; you know how much I admire your talents, intellect and wisdom :)

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