The Speech You'll Never Hear From Obama

Today I am bestowing the "Obie Award" to a most deserving individual - Barak Hussein Obama, AKA The Pretender-in-Chief. He sold the American electorate on "hope and change" back in 2008 with empty rhetoric. Those are such fluffy, feel good words. They bring a tear to my eye each time I hear them. Don't have to use too much Kleenex though because they quickly disappeared over the horizon after his inauguration when Obama threw his presidency under the bus by allowing Reid and Pelsoi to call the shots. You see, he had no idea what to do after the ball was in his court, except to blame Bush which he continues to do to date.


So please come to the stage Obie Wan Obama, we have all the teleprompters finely tuned, scripted and ready just for little old you. Hopefully we won't have a power outage, but your environmental policies have been causing black outs lately so lets all cross our fingers, toes and anything else we can cross. Okay Mr. Weiner, please take your seat. You're not in Congress anymore, and we don't care to see a wiener loop half gainer with a full twist. What I ask the of the audience is rather simple. Indicate your approval by a round of applause as Obie lists his accomplishments to date. No cue cards will be needed as the silence will be deafening.

THE SPEECH YOU'LL NEVER HEAR:

Thank you Frog Prince. It is truly an honor to address both MY avid koolaid guzzlers and those of you who don't believe a word I say. Today I stand humbly before you to list the many accomplishments that no other President, except ME, has achieved in this soon to be destroyed nation. I won't take credit for that - JUST BLAME BUSH! What I seek is your approval, admiration, adoration and undying love for ME for having accomplished these deeds single-handedly. Well almost anyway as MY fellow progressives, Harry and Nancy, assisted ME.

Using MY keen lack of leadership skills and having no knowledge of economics I doubled the National Debt. That took all the other Presidents combined over two centuries to accomplish. Aren't I just soooo... special? But let ME add, MY avid koolaiders, I need your adoration for proposing to double down again on that debt within 10 years by MY preposterous levels of spending. I need to insure that I will take care of you entitlement junkies as long as MY butt is warming the chair in the Oval Office. Lets hear it for another fix.

NOTHING IS HEARD BUT STUNNED SILENCE!

Hmmm... I haven't finished so please take your seats. I criticized the state of Arizona and their immigration law without ever having read it. How dare any state attempt to protect their border, crack down on illegal aliens who are sucking the life blood out of America and taking food off the tables of hard working Americans. Whoops! I forgot unemployment is above 9% so forget that one. I want to grant amnesty to all those cock roaches so simmer down. My voter base is what is important and nothing else. Understand?

On the bright side, I had my administration join hands with the Mexican government in legally charging the state of Arizona to force those good citizens to allow illegal immigration. Don't try to sneak over the border to Mexico though, I assure you they'll throw your ass straight in the slammer and forget you're there. I'll come to your rescue after I get off the 19th hole. I only allow the ATF to let gun runners cross the border, north moving south, with thousands of weapons so they can gun down our federal agents and each other.

I also paid tribute to the United States Marine Corpse, whoops I meant Corps, then just recently I threatened to not pay our proud American service men and women as I went into another severe pout because I couldn't get MY way.

Yes Sir Sarge!!!

No other President but ME has put 87,000 Americans out of work in one whack by placing a moratorium on off shore drilling. You see I won't tolerate one foreign oil company soiling an otherwise exemplary safety record in the off shore drilling industry. One "WHOOPS" by them made ME require that you dig deep in those already empty wallets. It doesn't matter that I allowed a forged document to be used for the basis of the moratorium. That forgery stuff can get a bit tricky as witnessed by MY long form birth certificate. Park that SUV and go out and buy a Government Motors VOLT.

My foreign slips I need to note. I gave the Queen of England an IPod of the videos of MY most awesome speeches. She was beside herself. Did you see that look she gave ME? You'd have thought I was a roach! I gave Gordon Brown a complete set of incorrectly formatted DVDS to go up against his gift steeped in history. I even gave the Saudi King a deep bow, no other President has bowed to a foreign potentate. Did you know there is an Austrian language? I invented it when I vacationed there. Just a minor faux paux.

Don't you think I am a self-centered, conceited moron for flying all the way to Denmark, on your dime not mine, to make a five minute pitch to the Olympic committee to bring the Olympics to MY home town so I could stroll out my front door located at 5406 S. Greenwood Avenue which a non-existent person, Harrison J. Bounel, owns who just happens to be using MY social security number. Please don't forget that I made a joke of the Special Olympics. Poor kids.

I am the only President who knew there were 57 states in the union. I appointed tax cheats to my cabinet and filled Czar positions with known socialists, Marxists and any other wackos I could muster up.. Give ME a break. I am Barak H. Obama among many of my other alias I have used over time. Why do you think I won't release MY academic records? HUH? HUH? HUH?

On the money side, I spent hundreds of thousands of your tax dollars so I could wine and dine MY blushing First Lady, MOOCHELLE, in NYC to attend a play. Ford Theater was closed that night. Then I bailed out General Motors with your money, That only reduced people's retirement savings by 90% and gave MY union goons the majority stake in Government Motors. No small matter that I caused you, the American tax payer, $16 billion in the process.

All that in just 28 short months. Am I great or what? Please hold your applause until I run like hell. Wait a minute! Where did everyone go? As he looks out on an empty auditorium...

Somebody Give Them A Kleenex Please!

More by this Author

  • "Ineptocracy" Is A Word
    18

    Ineptocracy is the new system of government that Obama-Biden ushered in. It is a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society...


Comments 46 comments

dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

It is disturbing to me that we have voters so gullible as to elect someone who has so many obvious flaws. Hope of what?change to what?Fairly obvious questions


Naomi's Banner profile image

Naomi's Banner 5 years ago from United States

I think you give him way too much credit...:0)


34th Bomb Group 5 years ago

BRILLIANT Your Royalness!

With Dahoglund (?) I agree that WAY too many people voted for this bozo based ONLY on his skin color. Other than that we don't even know who this guy is? His friends are another matter and, despite his post-election attempts to hide them, a guy who's friends with guys who advocate murdering cops is NOT someone I'd vote for. I hope Andrew Breitbart and others of his ilk are already digging in the alleys of Jakarta to get as much info on the guy to send him packing.

And Naomi - Love it!! Problem is too many people give him ANY credit at all. What's he done lately other than spend our money to go on vacations?


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

You've done a good job of attempting to capture his level of arrogance. Unfortunatly you'd have to remove half your brain to actually find that level.

Up, useful, and funny.

jim


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX Author

jim - The Whine House just called to offer me a job as his new speech writer. Time to start telling the truth huh?


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

Froggy, Your humor was right on! I am going to contribute to his campaign fund. My contribution will be based on his Presidential performance. Therefore the amount of my check will be ZERO. Forget it, the postage would be too much.

Very good job, I had no idea how smart frogs are. H


TheGroundsquirrel profile image

TheGroundsquirrel 5 years ago

dahoglund wrote: "Hope of what?change to what?Fairly obvious questions".

Actually, you have hit on the secret of liberal/commie/socialist/marxist/democrat strategy. They use the "fill in the blank" speech technique in order to attract their cannon-fodder. As the willing acolytes put their own desires and hopes in the speech, as it plays in their tiny little minds, they become convinced the individual giving the speech is saying what they want to hear. Of course, the only place where the blanks are filled in for them already is on the ballots during election time. I am going to take this moment to coin a new term in my continuing effort to irritate as many liberals as possible in a single lifetime. My new term is "We-tards". These individuals are easily recognizable because they continually use the word "we" in their speechifying, mostly because they have no "me" as in individual effort for the betterment of mankind. Now, I'm not talking about the proper use of "we" in a close group of like intentions. I am speaking to the mind numbing plethora of "we"s that pop up in the speech of those who would use the butter of the work of others to sweeten their own toast thereby avoiding the bane of sweat stains on their silk t-shirts. This should also make it easy to spot the wolves in our midst who would pose as conservatives. While listening to the dulcet tones of the hurdy-gurdy, always keep your eye on the monkey. If you don't believe me, then listen to the speeches with your eyes closed and your mind open. Then, when they are done speaking, look to their lives and see whether or not they have helped Henny Penny till the soil, or plant the seed, or tend the garden, or gather the grain, or bake the bread. I guarantee you they will belly up to the table when the bread is served. I implore my fellow workers to take a rich person to lunch and thank them for buying expensive stuff that take a lot of jobs to produce, deliver and maintain. Implore them to keep investing and spending. Give them a hug and let them know that you still know where a dollar comes from, because they already know where it goes. As for the idiots who live inside the castle . . . . screw 'em.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX Author

GroundSquirrel - What a novel idea! A free lunch for a rich person who provides for those you can't take care of themselves. YIKES!


TheGroundsquirrel profile image

TheGroundsquirrel 5 years ago

Guilt is a great tool, just ask Tony . . . . . LOL


Pat Potts 5 years ago

Love this article. Love that the arrogance shines through. I do believe some voted for him for no other reason than skin color. I can appreciate someone admitting they voted for him, made a mistake,and will do everything they can to make sure he's defeated in 2012.

Thanks for the many chuckles tonight.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX Author

Pat - Don't know if you saw this or not? Very telling about the race issue.

http://hubpages.com/business/Is-Harry-Alford-A-Rac


Pat Potts 5 years ago

listen to Laura almost every day. Heard this back in April. At least he admitted making a mistake and having regrets. Sometimes it's hard to admit when you've really messed up. LOL


SheriSapp profile image

SheriSapp 5 years ago from West Virginia

Frog,

Rated funny AND awesome. I was thinking earlier today about the nasty venom Mrs. Empty Suit has spewed about America, it is really sickening. Of course, neither of themhas ANY problem livin' it up L-A-R-G-E on OUR tax dollars. I pray this man is defeated next year. Also,adored the cartoons you included here....magnificent!!!!!


mslizzee profile image

mslizzee 5 years ago from Buncombe County, NC

Frog, I wish you would start writing for the teleprompter. The prompter will be running again in 2012 with billions in campaign money and good folks like Soros, Code Pink, Huffington and every single lefty wing wacko newscaster at his back.

There is one big problem for the teleprompter. He is not a citizen of the USA. Recently a 23 page dossier was submitted to the FBI in which is presented irrefutable proof that the teleprompter submmitted forged documents in order to take over the Oval Office. That Frog, is a felony. Loved your hub. Hugs, Lizzee


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX Author

Sheri - Most people know that I do like to mix humor with the truth. I almost have to any more watching the circus Obama brought to Washington DC with him from Chicago. There seems to be two things this guy is good at 1) screwing things up even further than they were screwed up and 2) doing nothing and dropping the ball and dashing off on vacation or playing golf.

Then to top it off he has a "Do Nothing" but play politics with our money Senate. I find it disgusting but a little humor helps me deal with it.

Lizzee - Did you catch that it was "decided" that the FBI wasn't going to investigate Weinergate? The FBI is under who? Who runs the Justice Department? A very, very corrupt liar named Holder. I read what was submitted to the FBI and the man is an absolute authority on imaging. I had no problem tracking what he said, how it is done and his conclusion based upon the process. So now we'll see if anything is done or if it is swept under the rug.

The Frog


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

I am laughing through my tears! Up funny and awesome, Frog.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX Author

BPOP - I'm not trying to tread on your turf with this awards thing. But he truly does deserve this Obie Award.

TFP


tlmntim9 5 years ago

Bravo


mslizzee profile image

mslizzee 5 years ago from Buncombe County, NC

Well frog,it will be very difficult for all the corruptees to keep the forgery buried forever. Sooner or later some journalists, newscasters, politicians etc, will beef up their cajones and start reporting on it. Don't you think so?


Dave Mathews profile image

Dave Mathews 5 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

Obama Bashing is really becoming old hat and very stale.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX Author

Lizzee - That remains to be seen.

Dave - This is but a warm up for the primary season just around the corner. Of course, if the man would have delivered on his 500+ promises then he wouldn't be the object of such ridicule. I reckon one can put their blinders on and not bother to read the truth about this fraud. That is a matter of choice my friend.

The Frog


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

Well, I was rolling along and saw you have photo shopped MY USMC cover and logo on your buddies head, I respectfully ask you remove it and replace it with a nazi or other nations cover. I find the use of the "Eagle, Globe, and Anchor" as the butt of a joke offensive to those of us who have/are serving with the a fore mentioned uniform/emblems an irresponsible act of disrespect.

Stale is an understatement, 50


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX Author

50 - Your eyes must be deceiving you as you know that the correct wearing of the uniform by the un-uniformed is a no-no. I took out my magnifying glass and still couldn't detect what you see.

As far as staleness goes, I reckon you better go hide your head in the corner because this election cycle is just beginning and it will be brutal after all we've seen transpire in less than 3 years. Or maybe you're an Obama supporter. More power to you if that is the case.

The complaint department is right there on the "left" right next to the closet where the cases of Kleenex are kept.

The Frog


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

I'll take that as you'll stop spamming my mail box with you dual notification style. If you can't see the Marine Corps emblems your either blind or just a determined to ignore facts like your pal obama.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX Author

50 Caliber - Spamming? How old are you boy? All anyone has to do is ask me to remove them from my address book and I will. You want to grind your axe with me? I don't suggest you do. Understand?


tom hellert profile image

tom hellert 5 years ago from home

Frog, to me he looks like a sythe lord from star wars with a russian hat...those pins look like...i'm not sure but I am 1/2 blind.. so it could be anything...As fpr the hub- lovin the cartoons..

TH


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA

Froggy - You just quit picking on my buddy, "50." He's like me, old, ugly, untalented, and a fan of great speechifying. :)

This morning I heard a shorty from one of those no-teleprompter talks from the Bam-Bam...something like as many as 5 sentences long, complete with 7 "Uh" noises. Those "Uh" noises were the only part of his talk that made any sense.

Enjoyed your article and the fine pix that came with it.

Gus :-)))


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX Author

tom and Gus - I don't have an axe to grind with anyone on any forum. If someone has a problem with me, this isn't the place to air it, especially if one has my e-mail address. I didn't just pull his e-mail address off some list so his accusation about spamming is childish. And totally unnecessary on a public forum.

If anyone has a burr under their saddle I'm not concerned with that. I am a writer, a political writer. We all have a mouse which has buttons on it. A user makes the choice whether to click that mouse or not.

I'm not picking on anyone, nor would I.

Gus - The incident you mentioned happened and is on You Tube.

The Frog


Reynold Jay profile image

Reynold Jay 5 years ago from Saginaw, Michigan

Yep--let's slip this speech into his teleprompter! Unfortunantly not many are listening to anything he says any more cause we all know it is a figment of his imagination. Funny, up and awesome! RJ


junko profile image

junko 5 years ago

Frog, that marine corps drill instructor hollowing in Obama"s ear while the cover on his head is USMC. I believe 50 cal referenced that fact, only.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX Author

junko - Evidently you jarheads don't know the rules about the uniform and commercial purposes. Take a hike and put a 125 pound ruck on and a full load of ammo when you do. Stop making yourself sound like an idiot.


junko profile image

junko 5 years ago

You're too thin skin To call yourself a political writer. You are too full of yourself. Don't be scared of exposer be secure in your Ideas.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

I would be laughing hysterically at all this, Frog, if it were not so pathetically true.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX Author

junko - when you get to the 25 mile point, give me a shout on the radio and I'll tell you where to go from there. CYA son! That's a movie character, not a DI. Just like Obama wouldn't make a pimple on a Marine's butt. Like I said, don't come on a Hub and make yourself out to be an idiot son.


Stu From VT 5 years ago

Froggy - up and all accross!!! A great Hub. It just galls me that we are so stupid. I mentioned in a few other posts that Rep. Bachmann was interviewed on MSNBC about Obama's socialist background in Chicago. The MSM did not see fit to syndicate the interview, so her warning only was heard by those lucky enough to see the original interview. And now, after the most rampant abuse of enumerated powers, fiscal profligacy, and monetary looseness in American history, almost half of polled Americans think he's doing a satisfactory job (admittedly, the polls vary somewhat). Over 100 years of progressivism has brainwashed at least half of America. Half of our voters are desensitized to virtual Marxism. And the other half is willing to court change, as long as you don't "cut MY program." The very ugly reality is that reversing past abuses of enumerated powers will result in massive federal layoffs, and the fiscal reform required to liquidate the national debt will require severe spending and tax austerity for decades. What ever happened to the days when a leader could, and would, be honest, and the people would follow him? Washington and Churchill NEVER promised crushing a catastrophic problem without great sacrifice. They promised the EXACT OPPOSITE. And the people followed them, and achieved greatness as a result. "All I have to promise you is blood, sweat, and tears." That message should garner respect and sacrifice. Today, it simply results in not getting elected. Yes, our officials are the proximate cause for our cliff-hanging predicament. But the fault, dear Frog, lies not in our officials, but in ourselves. We the people are too scared to look the monster in the eye and slay it. And until we become patriots like those who followed Washington and Churchill, our leaders will be too frightened to do for us what we really need from them. Stu


Karen Wodke profile image

Karen Wodke 5 years ago from Midwest

I'm ready for a new president. I hope we get someone next time who understands that the USA is a great country, who can comprehend free market capitalism, who knows something about how too much government interference stifles growth, and who won't fool people into thinking he will take a lot of money from the hard working Americans and give it to other Americans. That's not what politicians do. They might take the money...but they spend it on stupid projects, bailouts, and helping other countries. Anyone who thinks higher taxes will somehow result in money in their own pocket is naive. When politicians get money, they do not generally hand it back out to us regular folks. They waste it.


TheGroundsquirrel profile image

TheGroundsquirrel 5 years ago

@ 50 cal: I think you have just tweaked my banana today. I am one who in no way will ever give a pass based on service alone. The boys club mentality just doesn't fly with me. On my daily sojourn to the tax mines along US98 in NW Fl. I am regularly assaulted by conduct unbecoming a member of the armed services of the United States of America. One in particular drives a big shiny new red Dodge truck adorned with a half dozen Marines stickers, license plate frame and license plate. He regularly blazes by well past ten miles an hour over the limit even though all of us are already speeding along at between five and ten over the limit. Swapping lanes only inches from my bumpers in a mad dash to turn left off the road a mere couple of miles away. A large number of military people from Hurlburt Field and Eglin AFB also act like animals in traffic. My friends have heard me comment on them before, referring to them as "combat commuters". They try to intimidate with their large trucks. They act like complete imbeciles on their motorcycles. Coming from a family that traces it's military history back to the fourteenth century, I am both appalled and disappointed in a large number of our service men nowadays. The attitude of some of our retirees around here leaves a lot to be desired as well. I hold military service in such high esteem that I am just a little saddened by the fact that so many members think they should have the world by virtue of their service. If you are interested in defending the honor of the corps, how about you go out and instruct some of your fellow Marines on the finer points of appreciating those of us who keep you in bullets and bombs and make it possible for you to kick bad-buy ass. That is all, carry on.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX Author

GroundSquirrel - I will remain mute at this point. I think you captured the moment.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Moochelle, no less. I am laughing. I now live on peanut butter & jelly as organic food costs too much for my unemployed ass. I don't want to say too much because I'm afraid, Frog Prince...very afraid. I could say something you might misconstrue and I don't want you to ever be mad at me!!! I must admit, I'm out of my league here. I gotta say, however, Blagojevich, is an idiot or he'd figure out he's his own worst enemy and keep his mouth shut. But, he just can't. I thought the mother was out of money. How is he managing to pay for the farce of a retrial?


partisan patriot 5 years ago

Froggy

If it were only so; wouldn’t it be grand if our little Barrackie Boo was suddenly struck with a case of Turrets Syndrome and actually gave such a speech in spite of himself!


M@ggot profile image

M@ggot 5 years ago from Lakeland FL

Great Hub Frog! I wonder if Obama were actually to make this speech, would his minions finally admit these truths (because he said it) or would blind ideology still get in their way?

Nice to see you Ground Squirrel!


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX Author

M@ggot - Once an ideologue, always an ideologue. The blind allegiance is something I fail to understand.


tom hellert profile image

tom hellert 5 years ago from home

Amy b,

rob big hair blogo is a moron for sure anyone who chooses to look like that is someway...."touched " as they used to say... have a peachy day

you too frog man...

watch out for the monsters...

MmmmuuuuuhhhhuuhhhHHaahhaahhaA

TH


tripschina 5 years ago

care


CrusadersVoice profile image

CrusadersVoice 5 years ago from U.S.A.

High Five and Thumbs Up!!!


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX Author

CV - Welcome to Hub Pages.

The Frog

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working