The advantages of being a hobo
This is a short hub. I planned it that way because while searching HubPages how to make my hubs more interesting, one point they said was hub length and that a short-but-complete hub will be read by more people than a book-length piece.
I am talking today about a soft spot in my heart: Hobos. Yes, those nameless, faceless, "masters of the highways and byways," who live from day to day and most of the time, from hand out to hand out. A cold truth, but alas, the truth.
I named this piece, "The advantages of being a hobo," not as much for comedy effect, but to be specific.
Friends, there are many advantages of being a "rogue of the road," a dirty-faced, ragged-dressed man of few means. In short, a hobo.
Now do not be misconfused like I was until a few days ago. I was raised up to think that a hobo and a bum were the same.
There are so many advantages (and differences) between a hobo and bum that not even HubPages in their endless space on their great website, could contain my feelings about hobo's and bum's.
Now I will tell you the differences between a gum and a hobo.
A bum . . .
- will not fend for himself. He will lay around in some alleyway doing nothing all day just depending on some merciful store clerk to give him a can of soup or loaf of bread out of the back door.
- hates the idea of work. He will go out of his way to "pan handle," on the dark streets of some busy city asking the citizens always for spare change. Why doesn't this bum show some self-respect and say, "Miss, may I have twenty-bucks for a hot meal?" Now doesn't that sound more effective?
- doesn't care about his appearance. Unlike a hobo, he will not even try to shave his ragged face of the ugly "road stubble" before he does do something to help himself such as beg for a meal from some unsuspecting restaurant manager.
- tries hard to play on the sympathies of people he meets. By a pitiful look on his face or a wrinkle of the forehead, he will try to make eye-contact with his "marks," before he stutters (on purpose) "got any nickels I can have?"
Whereas . . .
A hobo . . .
- will do what it takes to look good even if the suit he found was in the dumpster he found behind the local "Grocery Galaxy."
- will stand proud no matter how hungry he is. He will be willing to do odd-jobs, wash dishes at restaurants, sweep floors, to earin a few bucks that will carry him to his next town.
- is always in a friendly mood even though it might be an act. A hobo knows that a smile will get him more change or odd-jobs than a frown covered with a nasty face.
- will try to shake hands with passersby to show that he is friendly, not dangerous. If he can gain the trust of a few citizens his chances of survival will increase.
These are the differences between a bum and a hobo.
Now I want to share "The advantages of being a hobo" . . .
- A hobo will never worry about filing or paying income tax. Think about it. Working people fear April 15, the deadline for filing taxes or get a visit from the all-powerful I.R.S. Not the hobo. He can sleep soundly on the morning of April 15 because the few dollars in his pocket will remain his property, not the government's.
- A hobo can work or walk at his own pace whereas a working man or woman, no matter the job, has a boss that yells, "Get it done, Jasper!" all day long. And that can be too much to cope with for our buddy, the hobo.
- A hobo doesn't suffer from stress, ulcers, heart attacks, or strokes. Have you ever thought of that side of being a hobo? I didn't. All I found was many photos of men sitting peacefully around a campfire eating roast chicken they had secured from doing some clean-up work for a local butcher.
- A hobo has a "Hobo Code," that means sharing his scores with fellow hobo's who are not as fortunate. The chicken above can stand as an example. "Jake," one of the hobo's at the fire was the one who scored the luscious chicken by simply sweeping and mopping the butcher shop in the city. Industrious I would say.
- A hobo can always travel anytime or anywhere he pleases. A working man or woman has to plan his or her vacation by securing a week off at work which means bartering with the boss by offering to work overtime a few more days to get their off days. Then the working person has to meet with their hubby or wife to make sure they both are off work at the same time. Such stress to just have a relaxing week off. I see this as an unwanted burden.
- A hobo's housing is never a problem. No hobo ever worries about making the mortgage payment. Am I right? Sure. If a hobo can find an empty place underneath a bridge or an empty referigrerator box, hey, it's home sweet home for the hobo. And a long, peaceful night's sleep.
- A hobo has no social pressure which means he attends no fundraisers, charity events (although he secretly donates to the charity at times), grand openings, and even blind dates. Our hobo friend might meet a female hobo on the road and that would suffice for his date for the night.
Friends, I have made my point, both with the differences between a bum and a hobo and "The advantages of being a hobo."
I have no long closing remarks but this one . . .
The idea is being a hobo is getting to look better and better, huh?
More by this Author
Everyone says that getting ripped, wasted, drunk is dangerous. Why didn't these same people, mostly, say this years ago?
If you have ever lost a game or contest, then you know that hearing insincere words from the winners can be annoying. This hub tells of 10 Things Losers Hate to Hear.
Watch out for "Food Hogs" who can ruin any dinner party.