There Are 10 Dangerous Things You Never Say Inside an Outlaw Biker Bar

Source

Watch and listen

First, some fundamental education

Today's hub is about somewhere I have never been: a biker bar. If you are a nice, clean-cut, law abiding citizen, you will never be caught in a biker bar either.

You must grasp the differences in a regular bar for civilized people and a intimidating biker bar. If you do not know the difference and "that" night comes when you are out with a new girl and your over-inflated male ego starts kicking in, you might brag, "Oh, that outlaw biker bar? No sweat. I will be glad to take you in there, doll. and if any of those hoodlums as much as looks at you, well, I cannot be responsible for my actions. I am a tiger when I am angry," the next thing you see is the ceiling of a nearby emergency room.

You deserve credit for actually taking your date through the front door because most guys would have driven on by to a more upscale bar. Then you would not be out $500.00 for stitches and a doctor's care. But no, you had to be a "bad butt," to impress your sweetie and sure enough, one of the bikers, a "Willie, the Whip," looked at your girl the wrong way and you, with no experience in boxing or any self-defense arts or any kind, let your pride get your butt handed to you while the bar full of bikers and biker chicks laughed and pointed at you as you were taken outside out cold.

A neater biker club.
A neater biker club. | Source
These bikes are priceless, so do not touch.
These bikes are priceless, so do not touch. | Source

More free wisdom.

What little I have learned about biker bars, I learned from watching many in-depth documentaries on TLC (The Learning Channel), The Discovery Channel and more. And here are a few of the things I learned about a biker bar (just in case you are wanting to visit one):

Drinking--Any type of alcohol and drinking from opening to closing.

Cursing--Worse than any Sailor or Marine on Liberty. The words you hear will melt the caps on your teeth.

Fighting--Almost every five minutes a fist-fight breaks out. Not just male horseplay, but fights that bring bloodshed and severe injuries.

Staring and Ogling--At you and your pretty girl date who by now is shedding tears of fear for you to take her home. Yes, bikers love to intimidate people outside their circle of fear. And they intimidate quite nicely.

In an outlaw biker bar, the meaner, more-dangerous biker or bikers are boss. That is not to imply that the rest of their gang cannot take on three average guys like you and whip them without breaking a sweat. It is a dangerous place and I can safely say if you have a death wish, go start trouble inside a biker bar.

Bikes do as they please when they are inside or outside their bar.
Bikes do as they please when they are inside or outside their bar. | Source
Clean-cut guys like this do not belong in either a motorcycle gang or their bar.
Clean-cut guys like this do not belong in either a motorcycle gang or their bar. | Source
An old time gang of some sort keeping watch over their territory.
An old time gang of some sort keeping watch over their territory. | Source
The designs on the back of a biker's jacket are known as his "colors," and you should respect him 110%.
The designs on the back of a biker's jacket are known as his "colors," and you should respect him 110%. | Source
There is always a guard who stands outside a biker bar to make sure that an undesirable does not try to enter.
There is always a guard who stands outside a biker bar to make sure that an undesirable does not try to enter. | Source
This pair of rough hands will be what you get if you go inside a biker bar without the bikers asking you to.
This pair of rough hands will be what you get if you go inside a biker bar without the bikers asking you to. | Source

But just by a miracle of God, you and your pretty girl date do not get hassled, cursed, or threatened when you walk inside a biker bar, let me give you a piece of serious advice:

There Are 10 Dangerous Things You Never Say Inside an Outlaw Biker Bar

  • "Hey, barkeep! Turn that television from that stupid UFC Fight! We want to watch QVC!"
  • "You call this beer? I've drank stagnated water that had more taste than this!"
  • "Listen, you lumbering jerk. If you wink at my girl again, I will kick your butt and all of your friends too!"
  • "Whattya mean, get out? I'll have you know we will leave when we are good and ready!"
  • "I can beat any poor excuse for a man in arm wrestling in this filthy joint."
  • "Watch where you are going, you clumsy oaf!" (you spew this foolish threat to a biker who has drank too much and is leaving).
  • "Why should I be afraid of you just because you are sitting there eating broken glass and rusty nails?"
  • "Hey, I'd like to join your, uh, "club," but on one condition: "I" get to be the leader."
  • "Do you guys really sell controlled substances and firearms?"
  • "You heard me, you lummox! Bring my girl and I a fresh drink . . .NOW! Or else!"

Note: If you go inside an outlaw biker bar and do not say any of these things, well I tip my hat to you for being so wise, but if you go inside that same outlaw biker bar and get cocky and say these things, well, it has been a pleasure knowing you."

Suspects sit in custody outside a house at 205 Clifton Road the Knox County Sheriff's Office raided the local clubhouse  of the Outlaws Motorcycle Club.
Suspects sit in custody outside a house at 205 Clifton Road the Knox County Sheriff's Office raided the local clubhouse of the Outlaws Motorcycle Club. | Source

More by this Author


Comments 6 comments

Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 12 months ago from Arkansas, USA

Haha! Funny stuff, although serious, too! I don't think I'll be visiting a biker bar anytime soon--like NEVER! Interesting hub!


kurtreifschneider profile image

kurtreifschneider 12 months ago from Loveland Colorado

awesome hub......freakin funny...loved it


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 12 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Victoria,

Thanks so very much for your comment, friendship and following. I did this just in case someone who is new to the biker bar scene should need some pointers.

Merry Christmas.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 12 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, kurtreifschneider ,

I do not know how to put into words how much I appreciate your comment. I am glad that you loved this work.

You will never know just how powerful our words are. That is why I am trying to discipline my tongue to not say harsh things about people, although it might be true, and just say good things.

Life might be better that way.

Merry Christmas.


kurtreifschneider profile image

kurtreifschneider 12 months ago from Loveland Colorado

Merry Christmas to you my friend


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 12 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

kurtreifschneider,

Thanks so much.

This is so nice of you. May your night/day and this Christmas season and all of 2016, be filled with peace, love, and security for you.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working