Things Not to Say When The Police Arrest You
Police are always on the job
Here's to the police
The police are not bad people. They are trained to react under difficult situations and some situations are life-threatening.
I have a ton of respect for the police who work any beat in any town on any shift. In fact, “I thank all of you, “men and women in blue,” for the sacrifice, dedication, and care that you have for the citizens on your watch.”
Now let’s talk about a common occurrence that can quickly turn nasty: You being pulled-over by the police and after they check your driver’s license, insurance and car registration, you are arrested. You, an upstanding citizen. Arrested. Handcuffed and placed in the back seat of a police cruiser. What nerve policemen have. You are so important they need to be giving you a police escort through the rush-hour traffic on your way home.
You are shocked, stunned, and scared. This has to be a mistake, you think. What if you are sentenced to a lengthy-prison sentence? You will not survive prison for you are one great-looking guy, easy prey for some sadistic homosexual gang of prisoners. You start to cry.
Suddenly, something comes over you like a witch’s spell. You feel invigorated, strong, confident. You have to say something or else you are headed for jail and a criminal record.
You will lose and lose big. No more cushy office job, pretty wife, BMW, membership at the most-exclusive country club in town. Say farewell to it all. You are watching your entire good life melt in front of your eyes. From now on you will be referred to as a number, not a name.
Then you screw-up big time. You make the huge mistake of opening your mouth. And the things that you say to the policeman are not the things wise people say when they are arrested.
Say to The Police
If you are ever arrested, how will you react?See results without voting
"Your crime spree is over, sister!"
The police keep the streets clean and safe of criminals
Copy or print these out for future use
Officer, can you squeal like a pig?
Hey, gum-shoe. You have doughnut glaze on your chin.
Something crawled in the back of this car and died. No, it’s you.
Who do you think you are messing with? I belong to a deadly gang!
I’ll see that you are fired. I’m buddies with the biggest drug dealers in town.
You picked the wrong day to mess with “Gator Boy,” that’s my gang name.
Work-out much? (referring to the officer’s big stomach).
No breath test for me. I only smoke “weed.”
Turn me loose or my gang buddies will whip your butt.
Those aren’t drugs inside my jeans pocket.
What are you waiting on? I’m not afraid of jail.
How did you get to be a cop, did they stop screening for fools?
Hold still while I launch a loogie onto your shirt.
You favor my pet chimp.
Is eating all that you do? Look at these empty fried chicken boxes in the floor board.
Are those your real cheeks, or have you used botox?
Better get that call, it might be your boyfriend.
“Officer, hey! Get off that radio!” you say in anger.
And just like that, the officer complies with your wish.
“What do you mean, you arrested the wrong guy?” you ask surprised.
“Uhh, all that stuff I said awhile ago . . .”
In most instances, the police will be watching for:
- Drinking while driving
- Texting while behind the wheel
- Reckless driving
- Going erratically from lane to the other
- Holding your head out the window and yelling profanities at other drivers
- Playing loud music that can distract others
- Turning your headlights on and off for fun
- Squealing your tires when the light turns green
- Driving too slow in an express lane
- Going over the center line
- Honking the horn at slow drivers
- Having an open container of liquor in the car
- Having a firearm in open view
- Having too many animals in the car
- Using hydraulics at the red light to make your car rise, fall, and turn on one wheel
- Letting passengers hang out of your car and yell vulgar things at innocent citizens
- Expired tags
- Stolen cars
Be a responsible citizen, and the police will be your friend.
"Remember, be safe. And stay safe, citizens. And the police will not bother you."
A friendly reminder from me, your friend, Kenneth Avery
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