Things One Should NEVER Say at a P.T.A. Meeting

Single parent attends a P.T.A. meeting


The initials P.T.A. stands for Parent Teacher Association. If you have ever been to most schools in the United States, then I won’t have to tell you how important this organization is to parents, students, and teachers.

To give my readers a general over-view of what the local P.T.A., or P.T.O. does is: enrich student education, generously supplement each classroom and special area teacher’s room account (100% of parent donations to room accounts fund this), fully funded enrichment clusters, purchase high-resolution visual presenters for classroom use, support fine arts education by purchasing the spring musical production royalties and coordinating the Reflections program, funded professional development of customized science lab curriculum, facilitated Career Day, supports teachers and staff, provides teacher continuing education grants and purchase supplies for the teacher workroom to name just a few of their needed-duties.

President Herbert Hoover was given a lifetime membership to the P.T.A.

P.T. A. board meeting


Depending on the school system and P.T.A. established for that school district, members of the P.T.A. have a monthly or bi-monthly meeting where parents, single-parents, educators, leaders and members of the community are invited to meet and discuss any problem areas that might need addressing. Sometimes problems are far bigger than just talking about them, so the P.T.A. rep’s meet with the necessary school officials and seek a solution that is feasible with both the school and parents.

In these meetings, there are designated-times in which those in attendance can ask relevant questions about the items that were discussed in the meeting. This is just one of the great freedoms enjoyed by members and non-members of the local P.T.A.

Then there are “those” certain people who for some reason, cannot maintain a civil-mind and exercise self-control and let their passions and mouths get the best of them. This is one of the things that the P.T.A. does not tolerate: Troublemakers who are not out for school-growth and progress, but for themselves and their ego’s.

P.T.A. member, Martha Panbell, protests higher taxes to her school district in 2011


Writing notes at a P.T.A. meeting is always wise

This P.T.A. protest was on Dec. 31, 1957 concerning a "clean sweep" of unwanted political interference


A SERIOUS Note to Parents:

Please, I urge you, Support your

Local P.T.A. for when you support

this worthy organization, you are

supporting your school and

your children.


This is the main reason I give you my personal list of . . .

“Things You Should Never Say at a P.T.A. Meeting”

  • “It’s my turn to talk, you useless bureaucrat!” And you say this in the middle of the P.T.A. president’s report to members.
  • “Are we going to be given complimentary popcorn and cold beer?”
  • “Gosh darn it, my fly has been open all this time!”
  • “Let’s all have some fun! How about playing the Chug-a-Lug Game?”
  • “Hey, Ms. President, are you married?”
  • “Can you P.T.A. members tell me why I never made it past the sixth-grade?”
  • “Anger issues? Did you say anger issues? Say that again and I’ll plant my foot in your butt!”
  • “This whole meeting makes me feel like being in Communist Russia when it was still a nation.”
  • “Somebody told me that Jay Leno was going to be here tonight.”
  • “How much longer are you going to be making speeches? I have a bowling tournament to get to.”
  • “Hey, I have a question. Is ditch-digging considered a class in school?”
  • “These here chairs are for kids, not men like me.”
  • “Are we ever going to eat? I missed lunch today.”
  • “Anybody know if my wife came to this meeting tonight?”
  • “Ma’am, would you repeat that last part, I dozed off.”
  • “Did you just call me a ‘Meeting Bully?’ Uhh, what’s that?”
  • “What do you mean I can’t bring my dogs in here? It’s cold outside!”
  • “Hey, I seen some of you last night down to the gentlemen’s club across the county line!”
  • “Get out? Did you say for me to get out?”
  • “Oh, don’t worry. I wouldn’t come back to save my hide.”

So, good citizens. If you have never attended a P.T.A. meeting, or you attend these needed-meetings and someone didn’t vote your way and now you want to be childish and say some or all of these things just to disrupt the proceedings to make yourself look big, all I can say to you is . . .


Coming soon . . .”Why Cutting-School Is Not or Never Has Been Cool”

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Comments 26 comments

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mumsgather 2 years ago

Haha. Too Funny. However, some of these may be thought about even if not spoken aloud. ;)

Pawpawwrites profile image

Pawpawwrites 2 years ago from Kansas

I think some of those might actually have been said.

bwhite062007 profile image

bwhite062007 2 years ago from East Coast

Thanks for the laugh!

DealForALiving profile image

DealForALiving 2 years ago from Earth

Thanks for starting my day off with some laughter!

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sheilamyers 2 years ago

I really liked the one about the gentleman's club! ROFL!!!! Seriously though, PTA is something every parent should get involved in as well as attending school board meetings. Instead of complaining about the horrible educational system, they should be a part of the solution.

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 2 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Ken, I just had to stop in and see what you'd gotten yourself into THIS time, but was pleasantly surprised to find not only several hilarious knee-slappers - like the guy who outed the patrons of the gents club! - but lots of great advice to parents with school-age children.

Upped and shared! ;D

carrie Lee Night profile image

carrie Lee Night 2 years ago from Northeast United States

Voted funny :). Maybe I should make more strides at comedy :). Thank you for coming up with your unique lists that keep a giggle in my back pocket :)

vkwok profile image

vkwok 2 years ago from Hawaii

Thanks for making my day with this awesome hub!

favored profile image

favored 2 years ago from USA

Something else you shouldn't say is "That teacher made my kid empty the waste basket. That's not my daughter's job." ... especially sitting next to the teacher's husband. He cleverly replied, "My wife isn't your kid's janitor."

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, favored,

You are so right. I wish I had used your suggestion. Your wit is very sharp and I appreciate you very much. Really beyond words.

God bless you.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author


You are very welcome. Glad that you liked this piece. God bless you with a safe and happy week.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear carrie,

Thank you for the sweet words and I have to agree with your making more strides in your comedy talents. I will support you 100%. I promise. Here's a freebie for you to have: A baby giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what will it be?" The baby giraffe looked around and sighed, "I wish I had a long neck!"


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author


Wow, thank you so much for stopping by to check on me. I do need some mentoring from time to time.

So glad that you liked the chuckles you received from the hub.

I appreciate you and your comments so much.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, sheilamyers,

Thank you for the smile your comment gave me. I appreciate you so much that I cannot express it in verbiage.

I can just see a very socially-backward guy using the "gentleman's club," line with a crowd of conservative parents and teachers. Not that there is anything wrong with being a conservative.

Have a nice week, dear friend.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author


You are as welcome as you can be. I am glad that something I did gave you a laugh. And I give God the praise for it is His wisdom and sense of humor that I am drawing from.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, bwwhite62007,

You are very welcome for the laugh. It is better than crying. Right? You and all of the hubbers on this hub have really made me feel good about myself.

God bless you richly.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author


You are possibly right. Some of these things somewhere in the country just might have been said or asked.

I wish I could be at a P.T.A. meeting when one of these come out of somebody's mouth and see the reaction of the crowd.

Thanks for the nice comment.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author


That would be safer, to think about them, but do not say them. You are a wise person.

Thanks for coming by. You are welcome anytime.

Katya Drake profile image

Katya Drake 2 years ago from Wisconsin

Ha ha! This was great! I have definitely thought some of those things!

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Katya Drake,

Thank you sincerely for your sweet comment.

Fact: I have yet to attend any P.T.A. or P.T.O. meeting.

We had one, but it went under for lack of interest.

Thanks for stopping by.

teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 2 years ago

Kenneth, glad to see you posted this on the PTA. I love the supportive comments on the purpose of the group. I am laughing at your things not to say. I love the chairs for kids remark. It is one of the most common complaints among adults who attend meetings. You did an awesome job with this.

Sanxuary 2 years ago

Years of parents attending these things and not one change can I note. When parents hate the school as much as the kids do, they really are a bureaucracy. Even teachers think education is a joke and really they could careless if your kid learns anything. They teach them how to punch a ticket that will never pay off in the future this World has. Better get to college, corporate America has a place where you can shut the hell up and do what your told no matter how stupid it is. Get that life in poverty going young people your future is crap and an endless stream of bills as time goes by and you get no where in life. Live the dream and watch the propaganda until you die and do not forget to tell your kids that education is there to teach you just enough to know that this World is a lie.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear teaches12345,

I am so grateful that you enjoyed this hub. Thank you for your sweet and positive comment. I as so sorried that you might take offense because you are a teacher and I am usre tha tyou are a talented teacher too. You see. I have had a bit of friction with a hubber on another hub who did not understand that the hub was only in fun and got offended. Yes, I explained and apologized. But I hate to know that all of us have to put a written category at the top of our hubs now.

Anyway thank you so much and God bless you for your comment.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author


You pose some interesting and true points about my subject. Are you sure that "nothing" has changed? I am not being cute, just concerned at how you are painting the picture of modern education. And although I respect your views, I was only taking a stab at bringing to light somethings we never should say at a P.T.A. meeting.

Thanks for your comment.

Samantha Sinclair profile image

Samantha Sinclair 2 years ago from North Carolina

These are the types of things my husband whispers in my ear at meetings to get me to laugh when everyone is quiet and serious.

kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author


Thanks a million for your sweet and uplifting comment. I used to be guilty of this at church committee meetings, but some of my friends frowned upon this jester-like actions, so I stopped it.

Sometimes "I" learn by disappointing situations.

I hope to see you soon on HP in my area of the neighborhood.

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