Things That Will Instantly Get You Kicked-Out of Big Department Stores

Singing songs from an Italian opera that annoys people will get you booted from department stores

Source

Preface

Shopping can be fun. You get to save money, meet friends, and come home with great bargains. But you cannot do these things when you have been forcibly-removed, verbally thrown-out or the police called to take you to jail for not knowing . . .


The Things That Can Get You Kicked-Out Instantly From Big Department Stores

  1. Acting like an idiot with no self-control and when your are by yourself.
  2. Throwing things from the shelves at your idiot friends who are in the next aisle.
  3. Whistling at all the female shoppers ages ranging from eighteen to sixty.
  4. Walking up to shoppers and begging for money.
  5. Asking the manager if they will hire you to test the dough-nuts.

Dressed like a bum and asking strangers for money will get you kicked-out of department stores quickly

Source

More things that will get you removed from big department stores

If you are a prostitute and try to pick-up clients at big department stores will get you arrested.
If you are a prostitute and try to pick-up clients at big department stores will get you arrested. | Source
Riding a donkey through the front door.
Riding a donkey through the front door. | Source
Coming into a big department store as filthy as a hog.
Coming into a big department store as filthy as a hog. | Source
Be so foolish as to set-off a few thousand-dollars-worth of fireworks inside the store.
Be so foolish as to set-off a few thousand-dollars-worth of fireworks inside the store. | Source
If you act like a mobster and start knocking people out cold.
If you act like a mobster and start knocking people out cold. | Source

More things that will get you kicked-out of big department stores

  1. Yelling "racist store!" over and over up one aisle and down the other.
  2. Riding a donkey through the "Entrance" to the big department store.
  3. Jumping over displays of items in the front of the store
  4. Starting fist-fights with strangers.
  5. Daring the manager to see if he can catch you--then run away.
  6. Do ugly impressions of old people in front of old people.
  7. Force an idiot friend to push you, a grown man, down the aisles in a shopping cart.
  8. Drinking beer that you nab from the store coolers.

Now let's get serious

with even more things that will get you booted from any store, big or little.


  1. Acting like a private eye and asking shoppers very personal questions.
  2. Threatening to ask your wife out on a date if you, the husband, do not give you shopping cash to buy a case of cold beer.
  3. Ask the service desk employees if you can have a free hoagie sandwich.
  4. Lie to the store clerks and say you are a war veteran and should be given a huge discount for serving your country.
  5. Bringing your pet snake into the big department store.
  6. Making-out with your idiot girlfriend.
  7. Making-out with a married woman shopper while her husband fumes with anger.
  8. Run around the store yelling like an Indian from the Amazon.
  9. You and your two idiot-friends start playing a game of tackle football in the produce department.
  10. When the store manager says, "stop this foolishness or be thrown out!" You laugh and reply, "I dare you to try that and my buddies, the gang members in the parking lot will take care of you."
  11. Lay down in the sporting goods aisle and doze-off to sleep.
  12. Open a can of Spaghett-I-O's and eat them like a person with no manners.
  13. Eat a pack of lunch meat while other shoppers gasp with disbelief.
  14. Rub butter or mayonnaise all over yourself and laugh as loudly as you can.
  15. Act like a statue and when a shopper stops to see what you are, jump at them and growl.

__________________________________________________________

ACTING DECENT and RIGHT

when you shop at a big department store or a smaller "Mom and Pop Store," is just the right thing to do.


WHY DO I SAY THIS:

  • No one likes a trouble-maker and you can become a trouble-maker by doing one or all of the things mentioned on this piece.
  • Do you really want to go to court and be found guilty?
  • Do you really need a criminal record?
  • Acting a fool inside any store is really a fool thing to do.
  • It is NOT cool to be a fool.

SO ENJOY YOUR SHOPPING EXPERIENCE

when you do the right thing.

____________________________________________________________________

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Comments 6 comments

mgt28 profile image

mgt28 2 years ago

Making out with your idiot girlfriend. True such a woman must be an idiot for sure. That just got me unawares. One of your best articles.


sheilamyers 2 years ago

Definitely ways to get kicked out of a department store! I have seen the adults in the shopping cart thing and they did get kicked out. Thanks for the good laugh.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

mgt28,

A girl who would be gullible enough to make-out with an idiot guy needs kicking in the behind to wake her up to her bad choice of a boyfriend.

Thanks for your comment.

Visit with me anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, sheilamyers,

Adults in carts is one funny sight. I too have seen this. And the ones I viewed acting a fool were quickly removed from the store, but the manager kept his cart.

Good catch.

Thanks for your sweet comment.


DreamerMeg profile image

DreamerMeg 2 years ago from Northern Ireland

I got asked NOT to return to a store, one time! (GASP) because I asked for a refund on an item that was NOT as it was described ( a legitimate reason for a refund in the UK). All my work colleagues thought it was hilarious because I was NOT known for being badly behaved!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

DreamerMeg,

I am on your side. I am one who resents being treated like a second-class citizen and for NOT causing trouble.

Like you, I am for the most-part, civil-minded.

Thank you for stopping by. God bless you.

Kenneth

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