Things You Never Do When Dealing With a Crime Kingpin

A very famous crime kingpin, Frank Costello.
A very famous crime kingpin, Frank Costello.

Taking my life in my own keyboard.

This is a tough and easy piece to write. Tough, due to the fact that I do not want to have an encounter with any of the guys (who are still alive) on this hub and easy, due to the fact that I live such an obscure life that it would take the entire arsenals of the C.I.A. to find me.

Just what do I mean by the term, "crime kingpin?" In essence, a kingpin is the same as a godfather in the Mafia in power, influence, and respect from those who work for him and those who do not know him. In briefest terms, he is "power on two legs." And knows how to get things done. Mostly-illegal things. Hey, truth is truth.

The kingpins of all kingpins, Al Capone.
The kingpins of all kingpins, Al Capone.
Paul Sorvino played "Paul Cicero," in "GoodFellas."
Paul Sorvino played "Paul Cicero," in "GoodFellas."

Sorvino: Great example of kingpin.

Just take a gander at the Martin Scorsese hit, "GoodFellas," and soon you will see screen vet, Paul Sorvino in the role of "Paul Cicero," a crime kingpin whose word is the law. Sorvino's role in this film can define what a kingpin does and does not do.

With a kingpin, one wrong step, and you are history. Actually, since all of the arrests of Mafia bosses and members in the past few years, I can't say with a clear conscience that you will be history, but I am not one to take foolish chances. Neither should you.

Henry Hill was  as deep as one can get into the mob. But he turned informant against "Paul Cicero" in "GoodFellas." Hill was portrayed by Ray Liota in the film.
Henry Hill was as deep as one can get into the mob. But he turned informant against "Paul Cicero" in "GoodFellas." Hill was portrayed by Ray Liota in the film.

If you are talking to a kingpin, here are signs that you are about to be in serious trouble:

  • The kingpin will act edgy, nervous.
  • The kingpin will never make eye-contact with you.
  • The kingpin's three bodyguards will stand at his side watching you.
  • The kingpin will wink a lot at these bodyguards.
  • The kingpin will not have a long conversation with you for his obsession of looking out the window.

Be aware. Meeting a kingpin accidentally or on purpose is NOT wise.

This hub,

Things You Never Do When Dealing With a Crime Kingpin

should educate you just in case you cross paths with one of these "good guys."

10.) Never start or have any form of an argument with a crime kingpin. Use this axiom: "A kingpin is always right" and you will be fine.

9.) Never refer to his wife as a "funny broad."

8.) Never insinuate that the kingpin go on a serious diet to lose "tons" of weight as you joke.

7.) Never end answers to a kingpin's questions with "you got a problem with that?"

6.) Never sneeze directly into the face of a powerful crime kingpin.

5.) Never imply that the kingpin favors actor, Ben Stiller.

4.) If you are smart, you will not ask the kingpin, "just how many gallons of ice cream can you eat?"

3.) Do not, under any circumstances, say that the kingpin favors Melissa McCarthy.

2.) Asking, "if you are the kingpin, you are very lazy. Right?" Will get you in trouble so deep with him and his "employees" that you will never desire to see "GoodFellas" anymore.

1.) This one statement will, my friend, end your meeting with the kingpin: "Hey, care to see my new F.B.I badge?'

Ciao.

Mr. "Teflon Don" himself.

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Comments 8 comments

DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 18 months ago from Oakley, CA

Your title hooked me, as good titles are meant to do. LOL

Interesting post, and the only "advice" I have to add that could possibly work, and sometimes has in this shady area, is, take him out yourself and take his place as the boss! ;-) (And enjoy it for whatever brief time you then have left.) LOL

Voted up and funny.


Kathleen Kerswig 18 months ago

Have I told you recently how much I enjoy your sense of humor? Great job as usual. I want to personally thank you for giving us pointers on what not to say or do should we encounter a crime kingpin. I don't think I've met any yet, but then again, maybe I have and I just didn't know it! LOL - Blessings my friend!


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 18 months ago from California

For someone who lives and obscure life you surely come up with interesting things to write about. What scares me is how many of these things I can identify with.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

tirelesstraveler,

Ahhh, you are curious about my obscurity, eh?

Do not waste valuable time, my friend. My surroundings are near-hack-proof and impossible to find.

(scary laugh--such as the one Vincent Price did on "Thriller.")

Thanks for your kind words. I shall not forget them, or you.

No need to be scared. I just love producing things people can relate to.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

DzyMsLizzy,

Wow! This is genius. But will you act as my "partner in this fantasy crime?"

It might work and I will share his gains 50/50 with you.

Deal?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Kathleen,

You are a sweet girl for the lovely compliment. It went a long way with me. Thank you so much.


FatBoyThin profile image

FatBoyThin 17 months ago from Kinneff, Scotland

I always wondered how I'd deal with this sort of situation. Now I know exactly what to say and what not to say. Of course, we don't have that many crime bosses in rural Aberdeenshire...


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 17 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

FatBoyThin,

My sincere thanks to you for such a great comment. Glad I could help and I can say the same about my locale, rural northwest Alabama, where just last week, we got electricity run to our houses. LOL. And thanks too for your following. I wish I could pay you, but sadly, I am on a fixed-income. But you stay in touch with me. By the tone of your comment, you sound like a very talented guy.

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