25 Things You Should Never Say During a Police Interrogation

Joan Blondell in a 1938 film There's Always a Woman
Joan Blondell in a 1938 film There's Always a Woman | Source
Even people in chicken suits get interrogatged
Even people in chicken suits get interrogatged | Source
This man in the rabbit suit is being harshly-questioned by an impatient police officer
This man in the rabbit suit is being harshly-questioned by an impatient police officer | Source

ATTENTION PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER BEEN INTERROGATED

As a gesture of sincere respect for you, my followers, I am not going to lead you through a long, drawn-out introduction to this piece. You are all intelligent people. You all know what the terms “police,” and “interrogation” mean, so that takes care of that.

I will say that from all I have watched on various documentaries and articles printed in reputable publications, a “police interrogation,” can be scary, fearful, and cause the interrogate to sweat like it’s mid-July, but it is early January and a “police interrogation,” can drain the interrogate’s confidence to where they shake in their chair—being verbally-hammered by one or more police officers.

So when I wrote this piece, I put myself in the place of the person being interrogated and that put it all into a clear perspective for me. A person who is being interrogated is in an uneasy position and anything that rolls out of their mouth can be potentially-dangerous for them if they are arrested and put on trial, so it pays to be wise and very careful when one is being interrogated.

To help those in my readership who, God forbid, might be interrogated in the near future, here are

25 Things You Never Say During a Police Interrogation

These Puerto Rican Nationalists in the early 50's, will soon be arrested and severely-interrogated
These Puerto Rican Nationalists in the early 50's, will soon be arrested and severely-interrogated
Man arrested in The Big Easy and being interrogated by local police
Man arrested in The Big Easy and being interrogated by local police
This criminal, caught red-handed, is being questioned by the police officer standing over him.
This criminal, caught red-handed, is being questioned by the police officer standing over him.
Authorities question Nannie Doss, a suspected female associate of the local mob
Authorities question Nannie Doss, a suspected female associate of the local mob

Do you honestly think today's police interrogations really work?

  • Yes.
  • No. They are not allowed by the courts to ask questions that are too harsh
  • Do not know.
See results without voting
  1. (Woman being interrogated says to police officer): "Were you in a Charmin television commercial? You look like that brown stuff that was just floating around in the commode."
  2. "Why did those hippies call you guys pigs?"
  3. "Can I bother you for a drink of soda . . .and yeah, a cheeseburger and an order of fries?"
  4. "Can you talk a bit quiter? I need my evening nap?"
  5. "I will wager you, One-Hundred-Thousand Dollars, which just happens to be the exact amount of dough taken from Liberty National Bank three hours ago, that I can do your job as good or maybe better than you."
  6. "Has people over time nick-named you "Porky?"
  7. "I bet if you had a dozen doughnuts you would be in a better mood."
  8. "Yes, I have an older sister. She pole dances for a living and you cannot go out with her!"r
  9. "Have you ever taken a bribe, say like taking your drunk friend home instead of jail for a few bucks?"
  10. "Why can't I put my feet on the table?"
  11. "If you want me to talk, you better be getting me an apple pie, a bowl of chili, a razor and some shave cream. I am tired, hungry and feel so filthy."
  12. "Are you and the mayor's wife good friends? I see you at her house all of the time--especially when her husband, the mayor is out of town."
  13. "Ever heard of Weight-Watchers? Your pants are getting a bit snug in the rump area."
  14. "Have you ever been 'on the take'?"
  15. "Can you do an impression of Mr. Ed for me?"
  16. "Your not that ambitious are you? I hear that you are still a sargent after fifteen years."
  17. "The guys out there in the squad room tell me that you can look just like Jack Webb--and talk like him too."
  18. "I'll give you three guesses as to what my REAL name is."
  19. "Let's play Gunsmoke. You be Matt Dillion and I will be his sidekick, Festus Hagan and we can flush-out the bad guys."
  20. "You best be taking me to the restroom for my bowels haven't moved for two whole days."
  21. "What do you mean you wish it wasn't illegal to punch me in the face?"
  22. "I want to talk to a female police officer."
  23. "I dare you to take a swing at me!"
  24. "Can we hurry this along? I have a heavy date with my female parole officer."
  25. "Heyyyy, I know what's going on! This is going to be on COPS, right?"

Reenactment of "Interreo," 1948, Chicago, California
Reenactment of "Interreo," 1948, Chicago, California | Source

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Comments 11 comments

Snakesmum profile image

Snakesmum 23 months ago from Victoria, Australia

Wouldn't dream of saying any of those things! Would probably be too terrified and lose the ability to speak. :-)


sachin001 profile image

sachin001 23 months ago from India

Good hub Kenneth. However I would not really need to know about these all as I don't ever want to get into such situation. :)


Kailua-KonaGirl profile image

Kailua-KonaGirl 23 months ago from New York

Ha!Ha! on the comments never to say, however, the videos are disturbing. My motto is "Always keep your mouth shut. Remain calm and agreeable. Let them arrest you and ask for attorney ."


carrie Lee Night profile image

carrie Lee Night 23 months ago from Northeast United States

Funny ! :) I like give you three guesses what my REAL name is and the glazed doughnut reference. I also like throwing Mr. Ed in there. I've got one for you. Never say you want to pimp out their handcuffs :) Thanks for keeping it real.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 23 months ago from Wisconsin Rapids

In any interview it is best not to antagonize the other person.


vkwok profile image

vkwok 23 months ago from Hawaii

Hilarious!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 22 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, vkwok,

Thanks, good friend, for your comment. God bless you.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 22 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, snakesmum,

I am going to agree with you on your comment. I too would be so afraid that my mouth would be frozen.

Thanks for your visit.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 22 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, sachin001,

You show a lot of wisdom in your comment. Never learn what you will never use. But being prepared is nice too.

Come back anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 22 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, dahoglund,

Absolutely right. My dad, a military man, said that one of the first things that military men and women were taught were to never sign anything unless you read it over thoroughly.

And your advice makes this perfect.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 22 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Kailua-KonaGirl,

Thank you so much for your comment and stopping by.

I enjoy reading everyone's comments. Have a great day.

Dear Carrie Lee Knight,

Thank you, dear friend, for your sweet comments.

Made my day.

And you have a safe and happy weekend.

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