Women....learn How to Live Alone While Learning to Live

Living alone

Women........ learn to live alone, and I mean that in more ways than one. Of course, I am referring to residing alone, but also living alone emotionally. I'm sure my sentiments are echoed millions of times around the world. You see, in some circles we women tend to lose our identity when we get married, and/or have children. Upon leaving the security of our childhood home, we enter into various relationships, marriage, cohabitation, motherhood, or just roomies. We sometime think that if we find ourselves alone, it would be a crime. That being said, I'd like to offer some wise, sage, advice, (tongue in cheek). Although, I do feel that I have something to offer in this regard.

To begin with, I was married relatively young. I left my mother's house right after graduation from high school, married my husband, and became a mother all in one year. I was, in one fell swoop, my mothers daughter, my husband's wife, and my children's mother, never knowing what it was like to be my own person, and at the time I didn't mind. I, also never a thought to the fact that I would ever be alone, I was just happy to be all of those things.

I guess, though, in some ways I was preparing all alone for just this occasion. You see, while I was married, I never completely depended on my husband to do everything for me, that some feel a man should do for a woman. This was not, me, being independent, it's just that I did not want to unduly burden my husband, because he was a very hard working man, so when I could, I would tend to take away some of the pressure. For instance, I learned to assemble small items, such as furniture, toys etc. Whenever my husband began a home improvement project, I would stand over him and ask questions, at times that annoyed him, however, I would simply explain that I was just curious, and really wanted to know. As a result, I learned a lot of the things I'm using today, now that I am single. I had a friend say once that she didn't even know how to change a light bulb, how sad.

I can install a toilet, (surprisingly simple), water faucets, door knobs, and perform other various and sundry home repairs, all due, in large part, to my curiosity while I was still married. I can also perform minor auto repairs. Of course, there are many other things I've learned since being alone. That being the case, I feel I am qualified to pass along my experiences.

Some advice

One of the things that cost most of us, women, as well as men, a lot of money, is car repair. We can minimize the cost in a number of ways.

One way is to be alert to potential problems. I usually advise anyone with a car, to get familiar with your car, just as you are with your body, meaning, know how your car, sounds, smells, looks and feels.

At least once a week, drive about an hour, or at least to work and back, without the radio or CD player, etc, you don't want to drown out potential problems with your music. Some automobile problems manifest themselves through sound, so, knowing how your car sounds, if a strange noise occurs you can readily recognize the difference.

Now to the smells. I never use those car deodorizers, they tend to obscure any odors that could alert you to potential problems, with things like your radiator. Radiator problems, usually, manifests themselves with an odor that reminds me of a pot that is still on the stove after the water is all boiled out. That same odor also could be indicative of a bad water pump. You will only know this if you are not obscuring it with a deodorizer. Also, when your car is throwing, or leaking oil, you will be able to identify that odor.

When it comes to the appearance and feel, if you are observant you will be able to see, for instance, suspicious smoke coming from the hood or tail pipe. And,being familiar with the way your car feels, if it should develop something different, like a vibration or a shimmy, you will be able to recognize it. You can also minimize the cost by having periodic overall check-ups, by a reputable repair shop. I highly recommend that you educate yourself on the basic operations of your automobile.

A trick that I learned, to avoid being the victim of auto repair ripoffs, is to use jargon that only mechanics would know. Every car that I purchase, I go to my local auto supply store and purchase the do it yourself manual, of course that same information can now be found on the Internet. Sometimes you can bluff them with just using terminology that sounds as if you know what you're talking about. If they feel that you know something about your automobile, they will be less apt to try to "put one over on you," as it were. I reiterate become familiar with the way that your car, sounds, smells, looks and feels, and educate yourself as much as possible, concerning the total operation of your vehicle. I strongly recommend that you learn to perform minor maintenance on your auto, such as checking and/or topping off all of the fluids, also checking for frayed or broken wires. Checking the tires, and keeping them properly inflated. Doing just these things can offset major repairs.

Minor home repairs are another source of money drain. If you have a man in your life that is handy, ask questions, get actively involved, help out, don't be afraid to get your hands dirty. I would ask repairmen that came to my home, what they were doing, and why they were doing it that way, tactfully of course. Most times, they would only have to come once for that problem, unless it required brute strength, even if it surfaced again. I also have do it yourself manuals, for almost anything, find those at your local, do it yourself hardware store. Make friends with the salesperson, don't be afraid to ask them questions, even, taking pen and paper to jot down helpful advice. In addition, with the advent of the Internet, do it yourself advice is readily available. Don't be afraid to tackle small, odd jobs yourself, even while you have a man to lean on, or at least offer to help during minor repairs. This advice could be applied while your are still living at home with your dad or brother or any male living in the home.








More advice

Being alone emotionally is oftentimes troublesome for some, they tend to feel that to be happy, a companion is always necessary. However, no one is responsible for your happiness, but you. The statement about, "being completed," by your mate, is just that, a statement. You see, if you don't come whole to a relationship, you have little to offer, and the less you have to offer the less you will receive. Realize your worth, and act accordingly.

Most of us go into a relationship thinking it is for a lifetime, rightly so, however, we should take into account that they sometimes end, either through breakup or death. If we have placed our complete happiness in the hands of another, and they don't fulfill our expectations it could destroy us. So, while you are in a working relationship you should learn to have a life of your own. For instance, have your space and give your mate their space, maybe going shopping alone, or just out with friends apart from your mate.

Learn how to be alone, even when you don't have to. So if that unfortunate circumstance should occur, you will be prepared to go it alone, if necessary. Being alone does not necessarily have to be lonely. Today, there's so many ways to make friends with others that have similar situations. What about just learning to be alone with your thoughts, or a good book, maybe a good movie. Never say, "I don't know what I'll do if that happens to me," because the truth is you won't know what to do, so do give it some thought.


Miscellaneous advice

Some good advice that I learned early on, is for a woman to establish her own credit apart from her mate, so that, if ever you're alone you will have your own identity in the financial world. Learn how to list your phone number, if you want to even list it, use initials, instead of your whole name. Learn how to protect yourself, maybe taking self defense classes, always be prepared for any eventuality. Never say, "I don't know what I would do if I'm ever attacked," because you won't know what to do. Always have a plan in whatever situation you might find yourself. For instance, walking to your car, always carry your keys in your hand, with at least one key sticking through your fingers.

Upon entering your home, after turning off the burglar alarm, which is what is recommended that you have, immediately close and lock your door. If you don't have an alarm, enter with caution, carefully observing your surroundings. Never establish a pattern of travel from your job, or school. Keep all windows and doors closed after hours, especially when you're alone. There is lots more I could add, however I recommend you purchase a book on this subject from amazon, some are listed below, in this hub, under, "amazon." You can also go to your local law enforcement agency for more advice. See below, for various self help manuals!

Conclusion

Living alone does not have to be the end all, be all in your life. You have the option to make it what you want it to be. So, using this advice, and your own common sense, make it the best it can be.

If you find this information helpful, send your friends and relatives to the site. Thank you

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Comments 77 comments

ljrc1961 profile image

ljrc1961 7 years ago from Michigan

I agree that women need to find out who they are and the talents they have and can share; we need to be able to hold on to the talents and our confidence as well once we meet that someone that makes us giddy.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

I agree with you, not to be cynical, but keep in mind that nothing stays the same and the talents and confidence might serve us well in the end.


BkCreative profile image

BkCreative 7 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

It was my hero, my dear father who taught me how to be totally independent. He wanted no man to take advantage of his daughter. He taught me so much and gave me so much confidence (and high standards when picking a man) - and yes, pulling out a toilet, I've done it too fastfreta. Easy, he showed me how, even a trick for getting standing water quickly out of the bowl. And even if I must pay someone to come in and do things, being taught by my father means no plumber, electrician, landscaper etc. can rob me.

Independence equals confidence!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks BK for the comment! Smart father, for teaching you, smart girl, for taking it all in. So encourage others, to be as independent as you are.


ladydijay 7 years ago

Really good advise. If you are a woman and plan to be a home owner, you had better know something or someone. It is so hard to even find a repair man who really knows what to do, and how to do it. So many people are out for your money, you do have to be careful about all your dealings.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

So true ladydijay, good advice to all women contemplating buying their own home alone.


emohealer profile image

emohealer 7 years ago from South Carolina

What a great hub!!! Independent but also learning to work together, (not live together). Great relationship advice, so few realize you only get out of something what you put in. If you have enough to put in, you don't put up.

Definitely passing this forward!!!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks emohealer, for the comment and compliment! Love the saying, "If you hve enough to put in, you don't put up." Can I use it?


emohealer profile image

emohealer 7 years ago from South Carolina

Yes, use away, I would love to see the hub you create from it.


create a page profile image

create a page 7 years ago from Maryland, USA

I like your style and your advice. You seem to speak to us (women) more directly...maybe it's because you are a woman. We understand each other, and we listen to each other. Keep up the good work.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you create a page, you are super too.


JennaJackson profile image

JennaJackson 7 years ago

Fastfreta, As always, you get a thumbs up for your good ol' common sense advice. Another informative kick in the pants!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Jenna, for stopping by and giving me encouragement as usual.


typep profile image

typep 7 years ago

Wow! I loved reading this. This is actually so close to my heart.

I'm so afraid for my mother, that when my dad dies she will not know how to cope. My mother depends on my dad for everything, she doesn’t drive and she has never even used a bank teller by herself. I keep trying to get her to be more independent, but she seems scared for some or other reason. I finally got her to use a cell phone now! Which is awesome.

One thing that I have also started doing in my own life is finding out what I love doing instead of placing my happiness in others or doing things for others all the time. Now I feel like I would be able to cope emotionally on my own because I don’t depend on others to make me happy! This is such an important hub, I am sure you will help many with the info here. Thanks!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you so much for your support for my hub. Actually this was one of my own favorite hubs, because I feel so passionate about the subject. Maybe if your mother read the hub she'd see some validity in it and maybe, just maybe take some positive action. Thanks again, typep!


frogyfish profile image

frogyfish 7 years ago from Central United States of America

Great information for a lot of gals! Thanks for sharing it in such valid ways!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks frogyfish. I've done that before with my own comments on my hub, and I just delete them. I just deleted the extra posting that you sent. Thanks for the comment and compliment. Come back again.


frogyfish profile image

frogyfish 7 years ago from Central United States of America

Oh, good for you, fastfreta, and thanks for undoing the doublestuff. I also want my daughter to read your hub sometime - she does live alone well, but needs your encouraging statements too! Thank you!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you frogyfish for your comment and for stopping by. Come back again.


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 7 years ago from London, UK

I was always very independent or so I thought. After my marriage broke down I realize how much he had me in control. Although I done a lot of things myself but psychologically he was always one step ahead and looked through me like through glass. I wish I would have used my eyes, brain and ears more. I just trusted him completely which was wrong.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Hello, hello, situations like yours is precisely why I felt the need to write this hub. Thank you so much for sharing. I hope someone else reading the hub and your comment will learn, before it's too late, to prepare for what can occur. Thanks for stopping. Come back again soon.


rmcrayne profile image

rmcrayne 7 years ago from San Antonio Texas

I've always been a fan of girl power fastfreda! My mother found she could do things for herself. Unfortunately it wasn't until she absolutely had to, and I'm sure it was very scary for her, bombarded with it all at once. There are so many good resources, but they don't come knock on our door do they? I'm in San Antonio and we have a very large network of community education classes through the school districts. There are 2 women who do tons of classes for women only, for home and yard stuff. Keep doing what you do freta.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks rmcrayne, for your encouragement and your comment. I really want women to be empowered before they HAVE to do things for themselves. So if this hub helps one woman to empower herself, then my work is done, (smile).


Tamarii2 profile image

Tamarii2 6 years ago from NEW YORK

Thanks for your advice.

You do lose yourself while your in a relationship.

After 34yrs with one person.I had to learn to be alone.Seems like I just saw the sunset for the first time.I had a good marriage(husband passed away}.It just seems like I have a new life.Fixing things...etc.

Thanks for responding to my Hubs.

Your comments are an encouragement to me.

Keep enjoying the journey its worth it.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you Tamarii2 for stopping by and weighing in on my hub. Please come again.


green light profile image

green light 6 years ago from Orange County, CA

These things are absolutely wonderful to take from someone who has a lot of wisdom to share.

Independence in a woman is always admirable.

I am myself interested in taking self defense classes. I hope i will find the time. Thanks for reminding me!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks green light, for your compliments and comments, please use your woman's intuition and take that class. Thanks for stopping, please stop again.


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC

Fastfreta, I really enjoyed reading this hub. The first paragraph to more advice is really intense, good stuff. And now I have the perfect reason to ask my friend to remove those car scents that give me nausea, LOL. Thanks for sharing!!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you Madison22 for your comment, it validates my hub and I appreciate that. Please visit again soon.


masmasika 6 years ago

Hi, fastfreta, this is a great article about the abilities of being a woman. I love this. I also learned to live on my own because I don't have a man to do the things that are supposed to be for them. Now I know that what I learned from my father and brothers are very useful indeed. Thanks for sharing this great article.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you masmasika for stopping. My compliments to your father and brothers, for taking the time to teach you the necessary tools to survive as a single woman in the world today.


J. Kaur Svoboda profile image

J. Kaur Svoboda 6 years ago

"However, no one is responsible for your happiness, but you." I truly believe that and I love that you write about women getting to know themselves first. I am a young 21 year old; however, I grew up with a single mother and she taught me just that. So, before I decided to fall love with anyone I decided I was going to love myself no matter what and I hope other women learn this as well.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you J. Kaur Svoboda for stopping, and I appreciate your candid comments, what a wise young woman you are. Please use that wisdom to help other young women like yourself to appreciate what you already know. Please visit my hubs again soon.


christalluna1124 profile image

christalluna1124 6 years ago from Dallas Texas

Fastfreta,

Another grate hub. I am 49 yrs old and have been married since I was 15. I have always been so busy being Ms. so and so , or mom, or whatever, that I never had a chance to develop into what my dreams were. I was too busy helping everyone else accomplish theirs. Then at 35 a tragedy after Hurricane katrina have me and my husband separated for awhile. I suffer from bipolar disorder and had a complete nervous breakdown. he had always been a wonderful husband and taken care of me and the kids. I didn't know what bills to pay, when to pay them or anything else. Thanks to my teachers and grandparents I have always been an avid reader, between that and Counseling I have learned to be comfortable with myself. I enjoy time alone, to read, meditate, pray or just think. I built a wonderful carrer with my husbands support who always told me "reach for the stars". Being manic depressive has taught me to be stong, I have to take care of myself, remember my meds, schedule my appointments and take care of my own basic needs. It is taking me some time to get over the emotional aloneness, I am currently "co-habiting with someone" who takes evrything you do for him for granted. But I have learned to stand on my own two feet. Please see my hub "Why are self-help books directed at women". It relates to this same subject.

Warmest regards,

Chris


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Oh Chris, what warm heartfelt words you penned. My warmest regards and thoughts go out to you. What I know about manic depressive is what I've read, but I'm sure it can't be easy, but you seem to be managing it. I hope going forward with your life things will improve. A couples of my mantras are, "This too shall end, and Nothing stays the same, 'it's not bad all the time, neither is it good all the time." I actually live by those saying. Not to make it sound simplistic, but those sayings have gotten me through some pretty rough times in my 62 years of living. I look forward to reading your hubs later today. Please stop by again.


nadiaazhar profile image

nadiaazhar 6 years ago from kuwait

hey fastfreta,

this writng of yours has touched me so deeply,

thats very true that we women lose our identity and our dreams while thinking and caring about others emotions.sometimes this attitude gives deep depression.but if a woman who tries to think about her ownslef is considered as a rebel,not a good daughter,sister,wife or a mother.

'If we have placed our complete happiness in the hands of another, and they don't fulfill our expectations it could destroy us'i strongly agree to that part,i love reading this hub its been written so beautifully.

best regards,nadia


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

My dear nadia, your statement, "when a woman tries to think on her own, she's considered a rebel or not a good daughter, sister, wife or mother," has a ring of truth. However, it's understood that if we don't love ourselves enough to take care of ourselves then we're no good to anyone, so the key to be a good, whatever,( wife, mother etc), we must first be good to, and take care of ourselves.

Thank you for taking time to read this hub, please come back again soon.


Betty Reid profile image

Betty Reid 6 years ago from Texas

Lately when I have car trouble, I ask a friend or coworker if we could fix it instead of the mechanic. I had fun replacing the sideview mirror by myself, and was amazed when a friend replaced my brakes by reading the manual. I enjoyed your hub.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Okay ladies where do you live, we could form a club? I love it. Wasn't that fun, especially the money saving part of it. Thank you Betty for sharing this with us, and for stopping by, see you again.


preety girl profile image

preety girl 6 years ago

Hey Fastfreta! I really liked this hub and all so real. Life is changing and so should women become more and more confident and man like - in doing things what a man can do. Good one...all the best !


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks preety girl for stopping and for your kind words, and I totally agree with your assessement of life the solution. Thanks again and please stop over again.


Pamela Kinnaird W profile image

Pamela Kinnaird W 6 years ago from Maui and Arizona

This is a great hub. I like the last bit, too, about 'When entering your home...' The first thing I do if I'm alone is check for any huge bugs crawling out of the bathtub drain. I don't wanna lock the doors until I know there are none of those! Co-dependency. There's a good word. (lol)


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

WOW, another "bug lover" like me, LOL! Good to see you again Pam, see you soon.


clspeakstoo profile image

clspeakstoo 6 years ago from Pacific Northwest

Yes I can definitely relate to this hub it really hits home with me. Thanks!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks clspeakstoo for stopping and I'm glad to hear that this hub works for you. Please stop again soon.


embee77 profile image

embee77 6 years ago

YES, Miss Freta. Right, right, right. As a 50-plus year-old educator, I am committed to showing girls that we are People First and Supporters Second. We're really good at the support part, so some of us get stuck there. Well, I agree with your other readers that we can't help anyone else until we help ourselves. Not easy, with our entrenched beliefs that others come first. God bless and good luck to all the Helper-Types. Please try to acknowledge the value in what you do when you cheer others on. And please take time to make yourself the best you can be. Do it for your loved ones if not yourself!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you embee77 for the validation. I truly appreciate your input on this hub. Please stop again soon.


bonnebartron profile image

bonnebartron 6 years ago from never one place for too long

Great hub! I've been told my entire life that I'm a strong independent woman, but sometimes it doesn't feel that way. My family is very traditional and I, at 25 am still working toward making my career, my passion happen. While my baby sister is married and her husband and she are buying their first house.... Sometimes it seems like maybe I missed something that was so obvious to everyone else, but then I go home and realize, the trash is empty, the dishes are done and the toilet seat is down.... For where I am in my life right now those are pretty great accomplishments!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

You go bonnebarton, my sympathies exactly. Not looking at the accomplishes of others and measuring yours by theirs. Good attitude. Love it! Thanks for stopping, see you soon.


Glencap profile image

Glencap 6 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Gee Whiz, you've given some really great advice. It is important for women to learn to become independent and self-sufficient. However, it's important for men as well. I've heard of some married men who've never learned to cook, and have no desire to ever learn. I've even heard of one case where a married guy didn't even know how to make Kool-Aid. No kidding.

You've given some suggestions that I'm ashamed to say that I hadn't even considered, and I've never been married. Great Hub! Looking forward to reading your others.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Glencap for since you are a man and appreciated this hub, please pass it on to someone you love. Hey why don't you write a hub encouraging men to live alone. I'll look forward to it. Thanks for stopping, reading and taking time to leave a comment. Again welcome to HubPages, see you soon.


valeriebelew profile image

valeriebelew 6 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

Hello fastreta, I never married, so this is not anything new to me, still it is good advice, and I haven't always been as good as I should have been about learning how to do things myself. I often paid to have them done, because I didn't want to bother. With the recession, I am learning how to do things I never did before and it is impowering. Good hub. (: v


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

So you can see fully understand what I wrote Valerie. I also used to pay for a lot, but now learning to live alone I've put into practice what I learned from my ex-husband, and educated myself on other things that I didn't know. Thanks very much Valerie for taking time to read and leave a comment. See you soon.


bladesofgrass profile image

bladesofgrass 6 years ago from The Fields of Iowa

I know quite a few women that can't change a lightbulb or do simple fixings around the house. I learned alot from my ex also as far as home remodeling and repair. What I didn't learn was how to be able to be my own person in the relationship..it was his way or no way. I found out the hard way, since our divorce, that I needed to find out who I was, which has been a surprisingly difficult journey...but well worth it. Again, you have published a great Hub. :)


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you bladesofgrass, you sound a lot like me, however I started practicing while I was still married, so it wasn't too difficult to be my own person. I really love it. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. See you soon.


bettybarnesb profile image

bettybarnesb 5 years ago from Bartlett, TN

hey fastfreta: I enjoyed your hub. I joined hubpages 3 months ago. Love it! I too, married young and divorced after 20 yrs of marriage with 4 children. Only have 2 grandchildren. Love the Lord and am committed to Him. Looking forward to more of your writings. Be Blessed!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

Nice to meet you bettybarnesb. I'm glad that you enjoyed my hub, I look forward to meeting you back at your place, (your hubs).


jo miller profile image

jo miller 5 years ago from Tennessee

Love your advice here. Right down my alley. Can't be said too often. You say it very well. I really like your style.

Jo


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Jo, glad you enjoyed it, hope to see you again soon.


A M Lehrer profile image

A M Lehrer 5 years ago from Southern United States

Amen! I couldn't agree more. I have had to learn the hard way but I have gained much needed confidence in doing so! Thanks for the tips!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you A M Lehrer, I'm happy to see that you can use the tips. Thank you so much for stopping, please come again.


Kayla 5 years ago

I really love this article! I'm a 23 yr old female and I'm ready to get a place alone, but I'm absolutely scared out of my mind to live alone. All I think about is someone breaking in or kidnapping me. Am I being too paranoid?


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

Don't be afraid Kayla, just be cautious. Following the advice in this article will go a long way in securing your safety. I wouldn't call you paranoid, maybe a little overly concerned, relax, it'll be okay, just be careful. Of course be careful about where you decide to live. When my daughter moved alone for the first time, I advised her to get an apartment on an upper floor, maybe I was a little paranoid. Anyway she was safe, following my advice. Say, how about letting me know when you move. I'm glad you found the article before you moved. Hope to hear from you again.


SallyTX profile image

SallyTX 4 years ago from Only In Texas!

What a wealth of excellent advice! Voted up and useful! ;D


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 4 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you so much SallyTX, you're too kind. I'll be seeing you soon.


Lindsay 4 years ago

Thank you for taking the time to write a blog like this. Really, thank you. I appreciate it and I know that other women, single or not, who are living alone will, and do, appreciate the advice and the fact that they are not alone!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 4 years ago from Southern California Author

Lindsay, I'm glad you found it, and also that you enjoyed it. Please share it with whomever you please. In fact I encourage you to share it, because as you intimated, so many women are in our shoes, that information such as this will greatly serve their needs. Again thanks for stopping, and taking the time to leave a comment.


Jim 4 years ago

Ladies,

Seriously? You really give up that much of your own security/sanity when you're in a relationship? That's messed up. Just don't do it. Demand to learn how to take care of things and keep yourselves safe. There's no reason in the world why you should be dependent upon any other human being - to an extent. You need friendships, etc, but you ought to be able to take care of your household etc and so should ALL of your children, male and female alike.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 4 years ago from Southern California Author

All wise sage advice from a MAN'S point of view, (LOL), but really Jim if it were as simple as that the world would be a much better place in which to live. Sad to say it's not as easy as that, and that's why article such as this strikes such a cord with us, women. But I do appreciate your comment.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

To fastfreta, A loud, resounding applause. I staunchly believe that women should learn to live alone first in their 20s and live and learn about life before marriage and/or cohabitation. It is so imperative that a woman learn about herself and learn how to be independent.

I am of the school that the 20s are too young for a person to enter into marriage and/or cohabitation. Have fun, establish oneself, and live life first. I am also of the school that a woman is complete within herself, she does not need a man to complete her. So many women, even today, are inculcated with the premise that they must have a man to complete their lives and to be whole women. Well, balderdash to that.

So many women enter into less than positive relationships because they believe that they MUST have a man. How many women stay with a man who abuses and disrespects them because ANY MAN is better than no man at all. I have gotten into some heated arguments because many women hold that opinion.

Being alone is not the kiss of death but it is liberating. Many of us will be alone at some time of our lives. Aloness is not an anathema. It gives one time to think, create, and generally to just.......BE! People respect those who do not NEED anyone and actually REVILE those who are clingy and enter into relationships just not to be alone. Ultimately, we die alone. Great hub about the importance of a sense of self and independence, particularly for women. Voted a million times up!


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fastfreta 4 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you so much gmwilliams, for your validation of this, one of my favorite of all of my hubs. You should write a similar hub, because you said a lot of the things I left out, but needs to be said. Again thanks and please stop over again.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

I have written hubs discussing what I have said.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 4 years ago from Southern California Author

Okay then I'll go over and read what you've written.


Mary Merriment profile image

Mary Merriment 3 years ago from Boise area, Idaho

Great advice and very helpful information.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 3 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you so much Mary, sorry, I haven't been reading my mail lately.


Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 3 years ago from California Gold Country

Sorry si' so late in discovering this, even hthough I have read many of your hubs. A great deal of wisdom here, that all women should know.

I thought it was interesting to notice that the woman in the WWII poster-- "We can Do It!" could be any woman.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 3 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Rochelle, you're too kind. You're right, that really could be any of us. Again thanks for stopping and taking time to leave a comment.

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