What Makes A Liberal And How To Know If You Are One

What Makes a Liberal??

Volumes of research have gone into what makes someone a liberal. Truth is, after all of that research, no one really knows. No one knows what causes someone to become a liberal. Maybe the parents are to blame, or maybe it's the school system, or even popular music and the movie industry are really to blame. Those are the things liberals like to blame, after all.

Whoever is really to blame, something needs to be done about this terrible problem. The first step to solving the problem, is to admit that you have a problem in the first place.

Do you think you might be a liberal? Are you confused as to what a liberal is? Don't worry. Take the following test, calculate your score, and see where you fit. If you find out that you are a liberal, advice for overcoming this problem will also be included.

Some Funny Anti-Liberal Pics

The Liberal Test

So, you are questioning if you are, in fact, a liberal. That's perfectly fine. We all go through times in our life where we question where we fit in, or we see some strange new disorder and think, I think I might have that... So, I have devised an easy online test, that anyone can take in just a few minutes to determine if they are indeed a liberal or not. Steps for calculating your score can be found after the questions. Keep track of your answers, and tally up the results.

Question One

Do you feel the beliefs (or lack of beliefs) of a small number are more worthy of protecting than the beliefs of the majority of the population?

See results without voting

Question Two

Do you feel that the rights of animals are more important than the rights of people?

See results without voting

Question Three

Do you spout off your thoughts and opinions to anyone who will listen, and sometimes to people who don't want to hear it?

See results without voting

Question Four

Do you refuse to admit when you are wrong, and even when faced with evidence that you are wrong, still cling to your opinions?

See results without voting

Question Five

Are you a celebrity with the IQ of a toaster?

See results without voting

Question Six

Are you a fan of either The View, MSNBC, or Rosie O'Donnell?

See results without voting

Question Seven

Do you feel that everyone owes you something, or that you should be given something for nothing?

See results without voting

Tallying Up Your Score

If you answered 'yes' to three or more of these questions, you are, indeed, a liberal. The number of questions you answered 'yes' to indicates to what degree you are a liberal. The fewer 'yes' answers you gave, the more moderate you are. The more 'yes' answers you have, the more extreme, or left-wing, you are.

If you answered yes to all the questions, you are a left-wing nut, and should be locked away for your the protection of yourself, and those around you. Society is not safe from you until you are taken care of. You may be prone to undressing for PETA, or even agreeing with Chris Matthews on a regular basis.

If you answered 'yes' to two or fewer questions, rest assured, you are safe, and you are not a liberal, though you may need to be aware that you do have some liberal tendencies, and may want to look into ways to protect yourself from further leftist leanings. I suggest some spiritual guidance, or renting some old movies.

If you answered 'no' to all of the questions, you are not a liberal, and should have no problem avoiding the stigma of becoming one. You should be proud of yourself!! Good for you!!

If you chose the third option for any of these questions, you might actually be a liberal. Either that, or you recognize this Hub for what it is; a silly joke, and not to be taken seriously. If the first is true, please, seek help! If the second is true, thank goodness someone out there has a sense of humor!

If You Have Found Out That You Are A Liberal

How did you do? If you found out that you are a liberal, you may be concerned, and rightfully so. You may be unsure of what to do at this point. What kind of life could you possibly have? How can you face your friends? What will your family think? I am sure there are a lot of questions running through your head right now.

I can't answer all of them. I am sorry. I can guide you in the right direction. Rent some old movies, you know, the ones where family values actually meant something. Eat a hamburger (they are not bad for you, as long as you don't scarf down 20 of them a day). Go to church! Pay your taxes (I know this may seem kind of scary, but it's kind of the law, despite what some recent Cabinet appointees seem to think). Spend time with your family, instead of at an Occupy protest or Burning Man.

These are just some simple things you can do to curb your liberal tendencies. If this fails, seek the help of a professional. They may be able to guide you to a support group, twelve step program, or individual therapy that might help you out.

© 2009 Anna Marie Bowman

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Comments 48 comments

scott crowders 5 years ago

Since, I am a very sexy man and a hater of white liberalism. An assassination is due! Create sexyness ..


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 6 years ago from Florida Author

N.E. Wright-- I am glad you had fun with it. It's ok if you didn't answer the questions. And, it's ok if you don't want to admit you eat paste. LOL


N.E. Wright profile image

N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY

Funny Hub. I did not anwser any of the questions, because I thought they were jokes. Though I did want to say I eat paste. LOL.

I am a liberal. I hate PETA, because they tend to go overboard.

Thanks for sharing this very funny Hub.


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 6 years ago from Florida Author

jtcarr1164-- Thank you very much!! That's a good answer to the question.


jtcarr1164 profile image

jtcarr1164 6 years ago from Tueplo, Mississippi

Great Hub, how have I not seen this before now?

To answer Rachells question...or at least an attempt to, it is the same logic as the eco-terrorist that would murder humans to protect the planet.


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Anna Marie Bowman 6 years ago from Florida Author

JON-- That is great!! I love this definition!!!


JON EWALL profile image

JON EWALL 6 years ago from usa

AMB

Do you know the difference between a liberal and a conservative when it comes to helping the poor ?

My definition as explained to a high ranking democrat official was:

They both want to help the poor. The liberal wants to help the poor with someone else's money (taxes ) and will give the money to whom he wants to give it. The conservative will give his own money to someone of his choice ( a write off ).

The money helping the poor is charity and that what makes our country a special place in the world.


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 6 years ago from Florida Author

rachell-- I don't understand it either. I love animals, but not enough to risk harm to myself, or others to protect them. I absolutely love penguins, but you don't see me hanging out at the South Pole, hunting down people that could be doing them harm, throwing fake blood on them, or making silly commercials about them that just make me look like a loony.


rachellrobinson profile image

rachellrobinson 6 years ago from Southwest Missouri

Funny Hub, and some funny comments too, some people take things way to seriously. Took the quiz, happy to know that I am in fact nowhere near becoming liberal... can you explain one thing too me though? Why are some animals treated better then people? I totally don't understand that.


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 6 years ago from Florida Author

JON-- Pay no attention to it. Some people just like to nitpick things.


JON EWALL profile image

JON EWALL 6 years ago from usa

Hi-Jinks

All caps, shame on me.I need to be awaken sometime, thanks for your comments.


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 6 years ago from Florida Author

burning bush-- Thanks, glad some of the people who read this understood that it was a joke.

garynew-- Hmmm... paste? Not very good for you! LOL!


garynew profile image

garynew 6 years ago from Dallas, TX and Sampran, Thailand

I like paste on my toast. Eat under lamp with my animals.


burning bush profile image

burning bush 6 years ago

A very liberalating hub. Humour is truly a sign of intelligence.


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 6 years ago from Florida Author

Jon-- I agree, having people from different viewpoints creates a better atmosphere for solving real problems.

Hi_Jinks-- I have no idea why you bothered to post that as a comment. Everything he wrote was in caps.

Joe-- I am a conservative that has no party affiliation. I do not agree with most republicans as they have skewed too far left for me, and I have come to the conclusion that Dems are quickly veering towards socialism. This was supposed to be amusing, tongue-in-cheek. Not a serious political statement.


Joe 6 years ago

Ah yes I can see that this was coming from an 'independent' I mean look at the blanace of posters, tests and statements. Surely, you aren't only skewed on one side of the isle.

Anna Marie Bowman you do not meet the defintion of 'independent' from your words, here or even the other posts you make. You may like call yourself that but don't expect others to acknowledge it as you do not lean a certain way you just don't fit 100% into one category doesn't mean your independent. Please at least be honest with yourself if not others. This was entertaining though.


Hi-Jinks profile image

Hi-Jinks 6 years ago from Wisconsin

Hey Jon Check the Constitition, We the People," are not all in Caps.

You didn't read it?


JON EWALL profile image

JON EWALL 6 years ago from usa

FOR THE RECORD,IN ALL POLITICAL PARTIES THERE ARE BOTH LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES.IN ALL SITUATIONS THAT ARE SOLVED EACH VIEW IS A CRITICAL PART OF A SOLUTION.

IN BETWEEN BOTH LIBERAL AND CONSERVATIVE IS THE MODERATE.

WAKE UP THOSE POLITICIANS IN CONGRESS FOR THE SAKE OF ''WE THE PEOPLE''.


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida Author

Tackle This-- I did enjoy it, thank you!!!!


Tackle This profile image

Tackle This 7 years ago

You may enjoy the quiz located on my area of hubpages. It is entitled, '4 Clues that you is entitlement folk. Enjoy.


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida Author

bgamall-- This was not meant to be taken seriously. This was a bit of satire. I was just having a little fun.

James-- Thank you!! The only right answers are the answers that put you in the right. Thanks for stopping by!!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 7 years ago from Chicago

I enjoyed reading this Hub. Tough questions but I got them all right.


bgamall profile image

bgamall 7 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

Actually you labor under some incorrect assumptions. First there are not just liberal and conservative people. There are liberals, conservatives, and neocons who have taken away the Republican party from the conservative types, like Pat Buchanan. They are dangerous empire builders and Buchanan has written against their provocations of Russia.

Some liberals, like Kucinich agree with libertarians, like Jesse Ventura, that George Bush allowed 9/11.  


Mdavies profile image

Mdavies 7 years ago from Denver Colorado - Ex New yorker

Well i am a liberal and damn proud to be!

Nice hub

Mark


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida Author

globalslick-- Welcome to HubPages!!!! Glad you enjoyed my test! Dogs always get excited when they think you are talking about them! LOL!


globalslick 7 years ago

I just joined the HUB site. Great stuff. I jusf finished you're test - closet liberal. My French bulldog got a little excited when he found out I answer "NO" to question #2. Oh well, he does have the IQ of a toaster.

Roll


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida Author

moonlake-- Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for stopping by!


moonlake profile image

moonlake 7 years ago from America

Enjoyed your hub very much.


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida Author

DrMemory-- I am an independent, but on the more conservative side. I am neither Democrat or Republican, though. Glad you enjoyed the test!!


DrMemory1701 profile image

DrMemory1701 7 years ago from Occupied France

I was told many years ago:

That a conservative was a liberal who had been mugged.

A liberal was one who always kept the "car of state" in DRIVE and a conservative wanted to pull over, park, and save gas, but he wanted to own the parking lot.

I prefer to be an independent. I like to think for myself instead of relying on people like GWB or Bill and Hillary Clinton. I believe in birth control, but not gun control. I can't see turning this country into a welfare state, but I resist the destruction of the middle class through the economic manipulations of the CFR.

I enjoyed your test. I know I am not liberal nor conservative.


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida Author

Yep, animals are cute!! Most of them, anyway. Bats, snakes and spiders are not cute.


tony0724 profile image

tony0724 7 years ago from san diego calif

Ya gotta admit ,animals are cute !


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida Author

Ha ha ha...I said liberal, not liberal hippie!!


tony0724 profile image

tony0724 7 years ago from san diego calif

Great ,now I have to buy Birkenstocks and a tie dye Tshirt !


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida Author

bgpappa-- I thought you had a leader?? I thought Messiah Obama was the leader of liberals? Did I miss a crazy, left-wing memo somewhere? LOL!!


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida Author

I couldn't agree more, tony! This was meant to be taken lightly, it really was more of a joke, but I agree!! Hey, look at it this way, we may not have to worry about it too much longer. We will be a socialist country before to long, and after that, historically, is communism!! Aren't you excited?


bgpappa profile image

bgpappa 7 years ago from Sacramento, California

Great Hub. Proud to be a liberal here. Now only if we had a leader.


tony0724 profile image

tony0724 7 years ago from san diego calif

Liberalism as I understand It means basically anything goes . And that to me brings about the crumble of society. I am an Independent . My IQ i am reasonably sure Is at least equivalent to a WII system ! And may I say political correctness says that If you stand for what you believe then you are Insensitive ogre. People are getting offended left and right and from where I sit we seem to have lost our backbone !

And to princessa liberals are all about more taxes ,that Is the only solution they have to any problem . I know I live In California !However princessa I will bring the beer to the party !


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida Author

Elena-- Thanks! I had fun with this one! No need to tell how you voted!!

C. C.-- Glad you got a kick out of the posters!! The contortionist one is pretty funny!

Aya-- I agree! I hate PETA! I feel animals should be treated well, not beaten or abused, but they seemed to have lost their message (and their minds) somewhere along the way. Maybe I will do one about being conservative. I did this as an answer to a request. I didn't see one for conservative, but I could throw something together.

gwendy-- Pretty sure you aren't a basket case.

Princessa-- I would never want to cause anyone wrinkles! I do love a good party! Can't promise to behave myself, though. I love poking fun at liberals, and anyone else. LOL!

Tom-- This test is for everyone!!! Young and old, alike! As far as the possibility that God thinks animals are more important...that depends on what God you believe in. You may be right. Maybe God is a giant golden toad, and toads are really the creature He made in His image...then again...

Amy-- I know a lot of people with the IQ of a toaster, and most of them are liberals. Glad to hear that Obama has a slightly higher IQ. Blenders have more settings, therefore must be smarter.


Amy G 7 years ago

Nice hub! I know a few liberals with the IQ of a toaster... which reinforces my tendencies to run screaming from the left side. Obama, however is a smart cookie. He has the IQ of a blender.


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States

This test was obviously not for old people. After the fourth question, I can't remember how I voted on the first.

We should leave room for the possibility that God thinks animals are more important than we are, probably, although I voted with my species on this particular occasion.


Princessa profile image

Princessa 7 years ago from France

yes! I am a liberal !!! and proud of it ,so please do not send me to church or force me to pay taxes... in fact, do not even force me to think too much (it can cause wrinkles) I'll invite you to next party if that makes it better :)


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

LMAO! I chose the third option on each question so I guess that makes me a basket case.

I agree with Aya, peta is not about animals. I love animals too, but geesh, these guys are crazy.


Aya Katz profile image

Aya Katz 7 years ago from The Ozarks

Anna Marie, Cute hub! Loved question #7. Now you should do another one to check if people are Conservative. The best people, IMHO, are neither Liberal nor Conservative.

I love animals, and I care about endangered species, but I hate PETA. How come you don't have that choice available? PETA doesn't put animals first. I don't think their agenda is even about animals.


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Were theose yes questions? I'm so confused. Loved the posters especially the contortionist


Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

Fun hub, cute test, I'm not telling what I voted though! Laugh!


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida Author

GT-- Best of luck inspiring mass calamity!! If anyone can do it, you can! I don't know what time it is...I am far too tired to even look. I guess that means it's night, or early morning. Either way, it's bedtime!! Goodnight, good morning, g'day.


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

I guess according to your test, I am a liberal, but I still hate everyone and would like to inspire mass calamity.

I should also mention, I think I can do tests like this all day, I mean night, what time is it now?

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