What This Hub is About is Really None of Your Business

It's my turn again

(Writer’s note: this piece is dedicated to a good friend, follower, and writer: mgt28, who ‘threw down the gauntlet,” so to speak on why I closed a current hub with the verbiage: Coming soon . . .None of Your Business. I said this in fun and in a comment, he asked why I didn’t write a hub with that phrase. So here it is. Enjoy mgt28. Kenneth).

The phrase, ‘none of your business,’ is said by both, smart alec’s and confident people who are very guarded with their own affairs. Well, since I am not in either group, I suppose that I will write this hub as if I “were” a confident person who minds his own affairs.

I admit it. There have been numerous times in my life I would have given a huge sum of cash just to be able to stare a busy-body or gossip (remember those?) straight in their sneaky, squinted-eyes, and say, “None of your business,” after they had gotten busted for poking-around in areas of my life where no one but my family is allowed.

But now in retrospect, the times where I wanted to say this term, I was in a public place and did not want to look like an arrogant bully. But by the same token, and to give myself a smidgen of credit, I did not tell these “Nosy Nates,” (“Frank Burns,” of M*A*S*H, aka, the late Larry Linville reference), all of what they were asking.

How this piece is going to work is this: I will start off each section with a few words about something or someone a fictitious busy-body has asked me without my permission. Then I will name someone or some thing(s) relevant to their question and finish that area with “none of your business.” This might be kinda fun, huh?

Example:

“Kenneth, who is your favorite singer?” (this will be set in bold type for the busy-body’s questions.

I could say, Dean Martin, Bobby Darin, or even Pat Boone. I love all three. Especially Dean Martin with his smooth, easy-on-the-ears voice, but then again, I like Bobby Darin’s “Mac, The Knife,” as much as anyone and who can forget Pat Boone’s “Love Letters in The Sand?” Oh well. You know what? “None of your business.”

Now that I have explained all about this ground-breaking, history-making hub, the only problem I have is that I don’t know what to do about the photos I post on this story. Sorry, mgt.28.

"Kenneth, who is your favorite rock band?"


"Well, 'Mr. Busy-body,' I could tell you that I am very fascinated with The Beatles, The Who, Jimi Hendrix, The Cream and many more and yeah, even Jefferson Airplane. I like to listen to them all. Did you hear that? All of them, I said. I do not know how to answer your question but one way:

"It's really None of Your Business!"

"Kenneth, what taste do you have in women?"

"What a private question!" "I have not really thought about that one, 'Mr. Gossiping Tongue,' but I will tell you this": I do not appreciate a woman simply because of a sexual-attraction or urge. No, sir. I appreciate women of all types, shapes, sizes and colors. Yes, colors. I am color-blind when women are concerned. I am not a judge or anyone. I could tell you things that you want to hear like: I love dancers, strippers, Avon women and possibly a lady CEO or two, but I will not. And why do I take such a bold stance?

"It's Really None of Your Business!"

"Kenneth, what is your religious affiliation?"

"What? How dare you invade that pqrt of my life? This is so personal that I am almost livid with anger at you asking such a question. To be honest, I am not a religious man. I know that Jesus is The Way, The Truth and The Life, not an organized religion that is afraid to get its hands dirty on serving the homeless or hungry. I am a sinner. I know that. And I have a deep need for Jesus' guidance and mercy each day and frankly . . .

"This is Really None of Your Business!"

J.D. Salinger, author of "A Catcher in The Rye"

"Kenneth, who is your favorite author?"

"Well, well, well. Since you haven't got any satisfaction from your other bothersome questions, you are now worried about who I love as my favorite author? Hmmm, let me think. There is John Steinbeck; Robert Frost; Edna St. Vincent Malay and Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. I love each one for their individual style. I do not know anything else to say but . . .

"This is Really None of Your Business!"

"Kenneth, who is your favorite animal?"

"I give you credit. You are one of the most-annoying people I've ever met. I love dogs, amardillo's, lions, tigers, and elephants. But "the" one animal is . . .wait a minute

"This is Really None of Your Business!"

"Kenneth, who is your favorite place of solitude?"

"Would you leave me alone if I said caves, bluffs, behind waterfalls, camping out or just walking in the woods? I mean, would you go home or just go somewhere where I cannot see or hear you? Please. I know what place I love for my own personal peace, but to you . . .

"This is Really None of Your Business!"

"Kenneth, who is your favorite drink?"

"Honestly, I used to love, or thought I loved, alcohol of any kind--beer, whiskey, wine or vodda. Just give me a bottle and a party and I was happy. That was until this lifestyle and substance began to eat me alive similar to a cannibal in some God-forsake jungle. Truth is tough sometimes. I love to sit down and have a drink of . . .

"This is Really None of Your Business!"

The lovely Erin Andrews, formerly of ESPN. Now with Fox Sports. One of the nation's best sportscasters in the business.

"Kenneth, who is your favorite sportscaster?"

"There you have me. I am afraid to answer your probing-question. Let's see, there's Stuart Scott, and Linda Cohn of ESPN, Dan Patrick who has his own show on the Audience Network, and he is too formerly of ESPN, Dr. Jerry Punch, who broadcasts from the pits in the Sprint Cup/NASCAR races, and oh yeah, that Karen Nichols of ESPN who covers college football as good as a man, but my favorite sportscaster of all-time is . . .hey,

"This is Really None of Your Business!"

"mgt28, did you

like this one?"

Next up . . .

"Your Worst Mistakes

On Your First Day

of College"


More by this Author


Comments 30 comments

mgt28 profile image

mgt28 2 years ago

I am flattered, thank you Ken for this one. I made the request in jest and of course I know you are an excellent writer.


carrie Lee Night profile image

carrie Lee Night 2 years ago from Northeast United States

Very funny :). None of your business is something I would like to say in response to a lot of questions lately. When backed into a corner, I say frankly I prefer not to answer that :) or I'm not at liberty to discuss it :). Great hub.


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 2 years ago

I find this very funny, if that's any of your business! Honestly, I think we all get tired of answering the same old questions all over again, but usually they are just asked to make conversation. There are a couple I do get hacked over, though, especially the one about religion.

But talk about gall, right after the birth of my second child, I was absolutely floored when a total stranger asked me if I was going to have any more children. How the Hell do I know?! Do I even want any more at this point? Is God going to see fit to give me any more whether I want another or not? Really now, Ms Busybody! Great hub, Ken. Voted up and funny.


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 2 years ago

Like your style MizBejabbers people ask questions just to vex you, because they already have judge you about your personal choices in life.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

KissandTales,

I agree with you. MizBejabbers is cool and always truthful. I love her writing. And yours too. Thanks for stopping by.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

mgt28,

Thank you for your kind comment. Gest? I seriously thought that you really wanted a hub of this subject. I just wanted to make you happy, for if my followers are happy, I am happy.

Stop in anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

carrie lee

Thank you sincerely for your sweet comment. I agree with you. I cannot count the times when I wanted to get in a smart alec's face and slowly grind-out the phrase in a Clint Eastwood tone:

"None---of---Your---Business," and allow my eyes to squint like his.

Rats. Oh, the lost opportunities.

Stop by anytime you like, Carrie.


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 2 years ago

Thanks Kenneth avery that is nice and kind of you to say. I appreciate your hubs because you speak in truth. Keep up the Good work!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

MizBeJabbers,

What you said in your comment, which I thank you for, is really the epitome of nosiness. Asking you immediately after the birth of your child if you were going have more. Yukk!

I wish you had just rubbed your hands together and busted their nose. But from your comments, I sense that you are a lady through and through.

Loved the comments.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

KissandTales,

Wow! You sure know how to make an old guy smile. I appreciate you and your comment so much.

I have The BEST Followers Anywhere on Hubs.

And that is the truth!


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 2 years ago

Thank you.


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 2 years ago

Thank you, Ken, that is so sweet of you. I'll answer her question now. No, I didn't have any more children. turns out that if that one had been my first, he still would have been my last! LOL


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 2 years ago

You speak for many MizBejabbers a great sense of humor too!


annart profile image

annart 2 years ago from SW England

Good laugh! These days I'm quite confident to tell someone they're pushing the boundaries, but that confidence comes with age! How I'd have loved to say it to a few when I was younger; it would've saved me a lot of bother.

There are those who don't know when they've crossed the line and are being just plain nosy. I know I'm not one of them and I don't like those who do that.

Good to have a smile on a Thursday evening.

Ann


Dana Tate profile image

Dana Tate 2 years ago from LOS ANGELES

Loved the hub and photo's thanks for sharing.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dana,

Hello. Thank you so very much for the kind remarks. Yes, age does have a lot to do with it. Like this theory I am working on and it goes like this: "When we are very young and say and do dumb things, people around us, awww, he's young," and leave you alone. And when you get to MY age, and I say or do something stupid, people say, "Aww, he's old," and leave me alone.

But in those years between very young and very old . . .we catch friction for each thing we say or do that these same people think it's stupid. Do you agree?

I may patent my theory.

Hey, Dana, I always enjoy your visits.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Annart,

I agree with you also on your sweet comments. I am still a bit nervous, especially in stores, to say hey, none of your business, when people in line start looking in my shopping cart.

How do they get away with such things?"

Come back anytime, Ann.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

KissandTales,

I appreciate your comment and MizBeJabbers. All of you on this comment section are very special people. And I tell you all something else. YOU are not the people I would say, none of your business, for I know you are all courteous enough to ask me nicely if you needed to know something.

I would wager a thousand bucks on that.

Come back anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

MizBejabbers,

You are very welcome. I meant what I said. People should never cross certain lines in other people's lives.

I need to write a serious hub about RESPECT. What do you think?

You are always welcome to stop in and visit.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

KissandTales,

You are welcome.

My door is always open to you and all of my followers.


sheilamyers 2 years ago

This is funny, but could apply to things in my life. At times, even the most innocent of questions seem to be some people's lead in to a debate or argument. Once I have those people pegged for what they are I always tell them "It's none of your business".


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, sheilamyers,

You are right. Even a question like: Hello. How are you? Can lead to the person who was asked that question to say: What do you mean by that? And why are you interested in how I am?

Then a fist-fight breaks out and someone starts selling tickets and making book on the fight.

How how right you are.


Abby Campbell profile image

Abby Campbell 2 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

Ken - I really enjoyed reading this hub. It was light and humorous... just love your style of writing. :-)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

My Dearest Abby,

Honestly, YOU are one of the sweetest, kindest, and special people on HP. I am so grateful to have you following me and being my Dear Friend.

And I yours too.

Have a fun and peaceful weekend.


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

None of your business what I think of this hub.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Eric,

LOL. Okay. Then thank you is all I am saying back to you, the remainder of my reply, about four paragraphs long, is too, none of your business.


Ann1Az2 profile image

Ann1Az2 2 years ago from Orange, Texas

As usual, you put an interesting twist on most folks' conversations! lol Good grief, if we don't ask nosy questions, how are we supposed to get to know people, after all? Well done and voted up. Amusing.


midget38 profile image

midget38 2 years ago from Singapore

Well, there you are....the profundity of small talk! We hate it, yet need it! So true, and funny.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Ann1Az2,

Thank you so very, very much for this and all of your comments which have arrived at a crucial time. I have had a rough two days, personal issues with people outside HP and it is really bumming me out. I cannot talk about it here or burden you with it . . .just life I guess.

Keep in touch with me, Ann.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, midget38,

I am right here waiting to help one and all with their social problems. I am not licensed at all. I cannot even afford a comic book to buy one of those licenses from the back.

Small talk is what makes the economy go up or down.

I love your comments, midget38 and you keep on visiting me.

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