Why Are Some People So Inconsiderate of Your Time?
"Generation Me has grown up believing it’s more important to ‘do your own thing’ than conform to the group. Unfortunately that also means people of this generation are more likely to be inconsiderate of other people." - Jean Twenge
What is so hard about DOING what you SAY you're going to DO, WHEN you SAY you're going to DO it??!!
I am constantly amazed and appalled at the flippancy with which people throw around "promises" or "good intentions" these days. When I was growing up, we didn't have much, but we at least had our "word", and it meant something! If someone told you they would be at your house to pick you up at 2 pm, they were THERE, and sometimes even a few minutes earlier. If someone told you they were going to meet you at a restaurant at 5 pm, they were THERE, or waiting for you in the parking lot. And if someone told you they were going to call you at 10am to arrange a visit, they CALLED at 10 am! And in any of these situations, if the person couldn't DO what they SAID they were going to DO, they AT LEAST CALLED or sent word that their plans had changed - and usually it was of the utmost overwhelming circumstances that they COULDN'T do what they had said they were going to DO!
Nowadays, people just don't have any respect for anyone else's time, and what's worse - they just DON'T CARE! Unfortunately, rudeness and inconsideration have become the norm, and others have become so complacent, they just "accept it" or have become more "tolerant" of it.
Well, NOT ME!! I still happen to think that a man is "only as good as his word", and if someone stands me up WITHOUT good reason, or fails to call me to reschedule or explain his change of plans, that person has lost a great deal of my respect! After all, my time is just as valuable as anyone else's, and there are even times when I will rearrange my schedule to accommodate others. Is it asking too much for them to AT LEAST call me if they CAN'T follow through?
I know in a perfect world everyone does what they say they're going to do, and all plans go forward as scheduled. I also know that I DON'T live in a perfect world, so I can accept the fact that there are going to be people who don't "conform" to my way of "scheduled living". I just generally learn to "put up with" these people (especially if they are close friends or family), but with the general public, and especially people I do business with, I CANNOT and WILL NOT tolerate this kind of rude and inconsiderate behavior! In fact, if another business associate makes a habit of constantly "putting me off" or wasting my time, I will find another company to do business with!
For instance, I'm a real estate agent, and this happened not too long ago with a lender I was working with. After weeks of trying to help a client get financed with this particular lender who kept refusing to return my calls or answer my emails, I found my clients another lender, got them through the financing process and finally into the home they wanted. I simply do not have TIME to deal with companies OR people who do not respect my time or cannot do things in a timely manner! There are too many other like-companies out there who would LOVE to have my business!
In another instance, just this past weekend, I was stood up by two different clients! One had promised to meet with me to sign a contract, and not only did they NOT show up, they NEVER CALLED or replied back to the many voice mails I left for them! The other client was not much better. I had told him if he wanted to see a particular house, to give me ample notice (as it was not close by) and I would be happy to oblige him. So what does he do? He calls me minutes before he wants to go see it and expects me to meet him and his family over there! On a weekend, at that! I firmly told him I would not be able to go right then, but would be happy to schedule it for the next day. (Now, in his defense, up until this time, he had shown great consideration in calling and meeting me at other times, so this was really a shock and surprise that he would do this! The first client, however, I had a "funny feeling" about all along - so his MIA stunt this weekend shouldn't have been a surprise! Still, both incidents riled me enough to vent with this hub!)
Don't people realize that when they so casually break their word, that they also break your trust in them? Is it more disrespect they have for themselves, rather than for you? Are they just so "me focused", that they don't CARE about other's feelings or time? Or maybe they are "time rebellious" because they were raised by an overbearing "military-type" parent who kept them on a tight schedule when they were younger. Whatever the reason, there is really NO EXCUSE to keep someone waiting or wondering where you are, and not have the DECENCY to at least call or reschedule the plans you had made with them. Its called "common courtesy", and no matter how young or old you are, it NEVER goes out of style - even for the "me generation"!
Something else I've noticed about inconsiderate people - they are always the FIRST to complain about someone being inconsiderate to THEM! Isn't that ironic? OR, they expect you to just "know" or "read their mind", as to WHY they were so inconsiderate of your time. Such as saying, "you should have known that I'd be late", or "you know how forgetful I am". Excuses! ( I have a friend who's like this and she makes NO APOLOGIES for her behavior!) Makes me feel like saying, "Well, no, my magic ball is in the shop, and I FORGOT how forgetful YOU ARE!!! And that's just it - the worst part is how to deal with inconsiderate people. How do you "tactfully" tell them just how rude and inconsiderate they really are? Naturally, considerate people don't like to be rude to anyone - even other rude people! (So, we just hold in our anger and write a hub! lol!!)
Seriously, if anyone has any secret tips that you use to confront or respond to inconsiderate people without being too rude, I'd love to hear them! With my last real estate client, I just left a very "firm" message on his voicemail letting him know I expected a response by such-and-such a time, but what I REALLY wanted to say couldn't be published within the boundaries of this hub site! Still, I wish I knew some really clever responses to use when I run across the really inconsiderate people like the ones I had this weekend!
Finally, I remember something a high school teacher said to our class one time about being late for class: "Unless you're dead, in a coma, or have a hand-delivered note from your doctor, you'd BETTER be to class on TIME!" And you know what? There was hardly EVER a tardy student in that class the whole year! Hmm... maybe I should use THAT one with MY real estate clients!
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