Why are Black Men So Angry?

The Boo-Boo Mommy Can't Kiss Away

Today, while out shopping at the mall, my son asked me, “Mama, why do White people treat me like that? Why do they act like they are afraid of me? I held the door for that older White couple to pass through and they ignored me and went through the other door.”


I didn’t have an answer. I don’t have an answer good enough that will numb the pain of so many of us who have suffered hundreds of years of oppression and discrimination. I’ve witnessed these slights first-hand that have been levied upon my son.


My son has been taught well. He can be so very hard-headed, but he is very respectful to adults; he opens doors, he allows females to pass through door ahead of him and does all those things a young, well-brought-up man is supposed to do. A few of his teachers have commented on how well-mannered he is. Always ready to help out in class, always holds doors, always says please and thank you.


We were out and about one day and I witnessed one older White lady, or maybe it was an older White man, allowed a door to slam in my son’s face. My son was coming up behind the man to hold the door for me as I passed through and the person simply allowed the door to slam in my son’s face!


Once on an elevator, the White people on the elevator with us looked at my son as if he were about to murder them. He was simply riding the elevator. No visible weapons. He wasn’t talking loud or cursing. He wasn’t even making eye contact with them. His pants weren't sagging. I, on some level, couldn’t understand their reaction, but on another level…


When my son was younger and less than five feet tall with bright, sparkling eyes, a beautiful, wide smile and long, curling eyelashes that would make Elizabeth Taylor jealous and a respectful manner, he was considered such a “cute little boy” to everyone – even to White people.


Now at more than six feet tall, with bright, sparkling eyes, a beautiful, wide smile, long curling eyelashes and a respectful manner, he is a perceived threat – a menace to society, a born suspect. I tried to prepare him for this day but how do you really prepare someone to be discriminated against?


His dreadlocks, I know, don’t really help the situation but so many Black dreadlocked, educated professional men tell the same story. How do I protect him? How do I make the hurt go away? I can’t kiss this boo-boo away. How do I prevent him from hating those who are teaching hate? How do I prevent him from being prejudiced against those who practice prejudice against him?


We often ask ourselves why young Black men are so angry. The socially conscious rapper, Chuck D, along with Public Enemy which included a comical but socially conscious Flava Fav back then (who is now just comical), rapped back in the 80s in the song, “Can’t Truss It.” One line in the song goes, “the hater taught hate and that’s why we gang bang it”.


I spoke with a friend of mine, Brother Bob Arrington, who hosts the gospel radio show "Joy in the Morning" on WRSV Soul 92 in Rocky Mount, NC, recently about this very subject. Brother Bob said that a Black man's first example of a man in this country taught him to be violent through his own violence, ie beatings, whippings, castrations, lynchings and etc. The anger of Black men has been indoctrinated in them through slavery and passed down through the generations.


Perhaps this is an explanation. But it aint’ right. It just ain’t right.


Comments 53 comments

Ivorwen profile image

Ivorwen 7 years ago from Hither and Yonder

It is really sad what is happening to your son, and that he feels the way he does. Are there other ares where this type of thing is happening too?

I am asking because around here I see alot of standoffishness and rudeness towards tall teen-aged boys, especially if their dress is a bit out of the norm. Older men (40-70) seem to be the worst for treating teens badly.

I see some people who are considerate with doors and some who aren't. I've had men let the door slam in my face. I've also had men be overly friendly, using the door as a way to make contact and start a conversation. (I find both to be rude.) Here the issue is not race, as everyone I am speaking of is white. It is just the way it is -- some are courteous, some are not.


Ivorwen profile image

Ivorwen 7 years ago from Hither and Yonder

Here is an article I just came across that deals with the disrespect in this nation:

http://hubpages.com/family/Where-Has-the-Respect-G


SOBF profile image

SOBF 7 years ago from New York, NY

Devin

The anger that comes from being unable to decipher racism from rudeness is something that every black male has to deal with. We are constantly on our guard trying to determine the intentions behind every move, motion, or words directed at us by others. Some of it is over sensitivity and some is pure racial prejudice.

I spent many years of my life as a District Manager in retail and the constant attempts to belittle my existence was a complete wear on my mental sanity. The most common is one that many blacks in management have experienced. The old "Can I see your manager?" question. As though a person of color cannot adequately solve their problem, or maybe its the concern that a black male will not be empathetic to them.

I think it would be wrong to simply try to file these issues under a "Where has the respect gone" label because for us it is far more than simple rudeness. It is the guilty until proven innocent attitude that many whites, even those who consider themselves progressive have towards black males.


NegroidSodomizer 6 years ago

Hey Negroids - get over it you morons -- slavery ended over 150 years ago by WHITE PEOPLE - in fact over 250,000 brave WHITE Union soldiers fought to ABOLISH slavery. How often do you hear the Irish moan & complain about their enslavement by the English -- or the Jews enslaved by the Egyptians 3,000 years ago. At what point do you blacks stop using slavery as an excuse for your current predictions in life and START TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for your OWN ACTIONS!!?!


NegroidSodomizer 6 years ago

Hey Negroids - get over it you morons -- slavery ended over 150 years ago by WHITE PEOPLE - in fact over 250,000 brave WHITE Union soldiers fought to ABOLISH slavery. How often do you hear the Irish moan & complain about their enslavement by the English -- or the Jews enslaved by the Egyptians 3,000 years ago. At what point do you blacks stop using slavery as an excuse for your current predicaments in life and START TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for your OWN ACTIONS!!?!


jonny 6 years ago

I agree,at what point do black people move forward??We have a mixed president,there is color in the white house!Oprah is the biggest media mogul ever,you got shaq,colby,the whole Nfl!

I grew up in complete poverty and made it on my own,there wasn't one toilet that wasn't cleaned around me,one fence that wasn't painted and one yard that wasn't mowed.

There is always a way in life,giving up is a choice!!God delt me a hard hand,boo hoo...are you going to get busy livin or busy dying???Make a diamond shine in the rough.

Slavery ...black leaders in africa sold their own people,and white people stole them.Being a victim is easy,standing up and taking responsibility for your own actions is a sign of maturity,putting off pleasure is also a sign of maturity.Americans just cant make it with the tea parties on their own ,or the dems or the republicans-Where are the blacks in the political scene,do they even care for their part in the entitlement culture that is destroying america as well as the educated slick eleite white evil bankers.Stand up and say I am going to do what is best for myself and my country,before we fall so far down,america hits bottom.America needs the strong,there is no quit in me because giving up is a choice!


SOBF profile image

SOBF 6 years ago from New York, NY

jonny

Is there a site that white people go in order to copy and reprint your comment. Why is it that all of you say exactly the same thing?


SpanStar profile image

SpanStar 6 years ago

There are many reasons why Black males are angry however I have no intension of digging that deep. Black men need to bed taught that what they seek in selfesteem, pride and dignity is not going to be found in our society. The must they must put their faith in the word of God and respect themselves not to get caught up in the stereotypes Black men continue portraying. You don't have to act like a street gangster to get respect-education can earn you the respect not only of Blacks but those outside your race. One doesn't have to act ghetto in public but being respectful will cause others to remember you.

Like it or not the anger Black men carry around with them is slowly and quitely eating us up from inside. The bigots carry that hate because guess what- it's eating them up also.


Rhoot 6 years ago

Many white people are suffering from Post Traumatic Black President Disorder (PTBPD). See here: http://ptbpd.blogspot.com/2010/07/welcom.html


Akbar Zeb 6 years ago

Tell him "Son, black people are more violent than other people, so it's just common sense to be wary of them".

Does that help?


SOBF profile image

SOBF 6 years ago from New York, NY

Spanstar

Black men putting the word of God is what got them there in the first place.


stfu cry babies 5 years ago

O COME ON!!!!! For the love of God all of the same treatments happen to me and I am not black. I am poor and half asian. People still have always acted the same way you all describe here so just get the hell over it. Just because someone is rude of looks at you funny doesn't mean that its because you're black and if that's what you go around looking for then that is what you are going to find. Stupid people used to ask to see the manager all the freakin time because often they believed that the manager would give them free things a discount or would just kiss their ass better. So get the Hell over it and try to live life as a freakin person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF do you seriously think that black people are the only people who have had to deal with hundreds of years of slavery and discrimination???? Good fucking grief.


Bea 5 years ago

I agree, best to ignore ignorant, stupid people, and live your life. It's not a race issue or anything to do with the way you look, people these days just have no manners, self conceited, and complete morons.


rice 5 years ago

you know what live your life and forget all this boolshit


From one minority to another 5 years ago

If your son asks you why "White people treat [him] like that", then I counter with: "Why do a large majority of black men (and women) seem to have a chip on their shoulder and treat the world the way they do; with such contempt and anger?" Case in point: Just this morning, a large black man (at least 6'2" weighting around 200 lbs. -- I'm 5'3") and I tried crossing the same part of the sidewalk (it's snowing here in NYC so there's huge puddles everywhere) and in order to avoid running into him, I politely stepped to the side. He in turn, looked me square in the eyes with such hate, said "Oh no you don't" (which I still don't understand why was said because we hadn't even spoken a word), stepped into MY pathway and, ON PURPOSE, shoulder checked me as hard as he could in the FACE, knocking me down to the ground. WHO DOES THAT?? Perhaps he had an argument with his wife or girlfriend, job troubles or is just overall upset with his situation in life; I have no idea -- but why take it out on a stranger? When life deals me a bad hand, do I physically accost or verbally abuse a stranger to make myself feel better? No. I don't make up excuses. accept things for what they are, make the best of it, find a solution and move on. That's how we as humans PROGRESS. What that man did to me this morning was rude and classless and, sadly, perpetuates the "angry black man" stereotype.

My question is, why isn't the word "progression" in this man's mind? Why would he play into and perpetuate that stereotype? It behooves a race to move away from negative stereotypes, ESPECIALLY when living in a melting pot like America.

This all being said, it's unfortunate when your son receives backlash because of others' actions. True, he is being unfairly judged but all minorities are. How others act is beyond our control but, it's up to him on how he reacts; ignore it and continue to be the polite man you raised him to be or become another "angry black man" -- if Devin chooses the former, he as a person, you as a family and your entire ethnic group as a whole have progressed one step forward and are helping future generations to migrate in that same direction.


jaydee 5 years ago

If there is a problem with bigotry and hate in this country it is primarily because of Blacks. You white people who wring your hands over racism had better get a grip.. Blacks..most of them hate your guts. Most of the Blacks ..when they don't need to suck up to whitey will flat tell you but whether they admit it or not..it is true.


Rob 5 years ago

This kind of attitude is in inflicted on teenagers and adolescent males of all races. These days people do not think very highly of teenage boys. It has nothing to do with being black or slavery which is the card I tire of being brought up. If black people had a proper education and understanding of the world they would know every race has been enslaved at some time. Some even more recently and brutally than black people, eg Holocaust victims working in Nazi industry.


Ghost32 5 years ago

Huh. Devin, when I first read this page, I wondered why the nasty comments shouldn't simply be deleted--and then it hit me: They really, really underscore your point.

I'm so white my nickname when I worked in the oilpatch was "Ghost", which is how I came to use the user name of "Ghost32" here at HubPages. When I was 10 years old, I remember arguing against racial prejudice in a Montana barber shop full of adult white men.

You can imagine how little I impressed them, but so what?

However, I do want you to know that I've known at least three very strong black men who somehow escaped that pain. Most certainly they experienced the attitude from whites, but somehow it didn't "stick" in their psyche to fester. It would be nice to know how they did it...though unfortunately I simply don't know, and I'm not sure they do.

One such man and his wife was a scholarship basketball player where I went to college. He was married, no kids at the time, and no concern about white attitudes whatsoever. His wife, however, was the opposite.

Another was my platoon sergeant during part of my time in the Army. He was the best noncom I ever served under, and in a firefight, the man I'd most have wanted to have my back. (We had something of a mutual admiration society going, and I'd like to think he felt the same way about me.)

The third was also an Army friend, actually my bunkmate for several weeks during wire school training, and a former vice cop from southern California who had (like many of us) been drafted at the age of 23. Of the three, he's the one gentleman I'd swear didn't even understand the concept of racial putdowns. He and five other GIs went on pass one weekend to Tijuana in a single car. No two men were of the same ethnic makeup--I remember Albert Chew was one who went, an American Chinese who could, um, pass gas any time he chose.

Hey, that can be a big deal in a barracks full of young guys!

Nope, no answers or even real insights here, except that somehow some black men do manage to avoid getting filled with anger.

Now, if we could analyze and reproduce that ability in mass quantities....


A Mixed(75%black,25%white) 26 yr old American male 5 years ago

The real reason black men now are angry is the simple fact that when they were younger their parents would violently beat them to release their own aggression for whatever reason(bad day at work, an a$$hole pissing them off and if your part of that lucky group like myself who couldn't understand some of your homework).

Those same parents grew up in the 50's,60's and 70's and went through some real racist s**t and now they have gladly passed their anger to their sons and in SOME cases their daughters. Being harassed by the Police and their brutality plus getting away with killing unarmed people(mainly black) hasn't helped either. So basically its Americas fault on why black men are so angry sooo........THX America 4 making my life hell and making me angry at the same time u r TRUllY the greatest country in the world!!!!!


cptkapsi profile image

cptkapsi 5 years ago from Texas

When we get angry, the Caucasian race wants to incarcerate or medicate us.


MoneyOrder 5 years ago

There are certain age groups of whites that are more racist than others. I went to a McDonald's recently and the minute i walked in an older white lady clinched her purse. I go to McDonald's when i'm thirsty or hungry not to steal purses. Another example: I had jury duty once and when i entered the elevator most of the whites jumped to the other side of the elevator to avoid standing next to me. These are just two examples of the many things that the average black man has to endure in this life.

We have very good reason to be angry, after years and years of watching black men get beat up and killed by the police of course we are angry or at least tired of seeing it happen. Devin mentioned slavery, and of course when you mention slavery to anybody white you get the famous "GET OVER IT" that happened a long time ago speech. But, However, Racism and hatred towards blacks still exist today.

I find that whites are very mean to blacks online in chat rooms and blogs. And what's funny is how whites want us to "get over it" but they don't want to stop their racist attitudes and behaviors towards us. Its hard to get over things that continues to happen over and over again. cptkapsi: you are exactly right, or they want us to go back to Africa when most if not all of us were born here in America.


ChocolateThunda 5 years ago

Black power!


Niggaliver 5 years ago

I don't understand black communities, crime is often rampant and when the police attempt to interfere with the drug trade, the drug dealers and gang bangers are portrayed as innocent victims. Little Jamal was selling encyclopedias when whitey decided to crack his skull, ya fuckin right, it makes people understand that black people must enjoy the ultra violent neighborhoods they live in. And on the subject of black males, who is it that perpetuates the stereotypes, it's not white America. White America is the rationalization, you wouldn't blame someone for being afraid next to a wild animal, I know most blacks aren't that way but better safe then sorry. Even a lion can be timid, your sons cross to bare is molded by blacks not whites


Whitey 5 years ago

Why are black people so easily and visibly misled by their own kind. From the chieftains who sold them into slavery to the Jesse highjacksons who opine nationally. The reality and apparently many do not know which party defended segregation to operate in benevolent oppression. It's one thing to eat off of someone elses plate and be honest about it, it's totally another to demand bigger servings via indignation.


SOBF profile image

SOBF 5 years ago from New York, NY

I guess your hub has answered your question. Based on the comments by most of the readers, ignorance is what perpetuates hate on both sides of the equation.


Whitey aka Niggaliver 5 years ago

To sobf; you must mean the ignorance perpetuated by blacks, correct. I don't see anything ignorant in either of my 2 previous post, if you do please point them out for my edification. Since i am already burdening you can you also humor me by giving me your perspective on Herman Cain


I agree 4 years ago

I am dealing with the exact same thing. From my son being put off a bus. To being yelled at for sitting in a hospital room by a security guard for just sitting and quietly waiting, to the intelligent level he is presumed to have by his teachers only to be changed if he takes a test that makes them look good for their supervisors but he is first downgraded for his classroom experience first. That impacts upon his opportunities and options. I have even been made more aware when I attended an awards ceremony in the school and no one over 5'5" was part of the population being acknowledged. It wasn't an athletic event. He is black an tall. Athletics and a tug are the two categories within the school system he fits in. Ask your basketball high school star playing president. Where do I direct my son to right the wrongS? GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES. Some wrongs you can not walk away from. Or ignore. Ask the Jews.


SOBF profile image

SOBF 4 years ago from New York, NY

Whitey aka Niggaliver - The fact that you are unable to see the ignorance in your statements are the reason they are ignorant. aka your tag


Jake 4 years ago

Adding the whole race issue to this story is totally uncalled for, the human race period have become very rude to one another, it don't matter what ethnicity you are..

Cant we all just get along?????


REALIST NOT RACIST31 4 years ago

It sure is funny how uneducated blacks can be led to believe that somehow they are being opressed today. Its even funnier that the educated black man that puts out these radical ideas wears a suit and tie, drives a Lexus and resides in a gated "WHITE" community.I don't posess magic powers nor can I use my mind to stop someone from succeeding.

I have no problem with a well to do educated black man who knows truth from B.S. A white man would be called racist if he does not hire a young black male who smells like marijuana, has his pants hangin off his ass, and has a jewelry store in his mouth. What's weird is that a hard working black man wouldn't hire this guy either. For the most part it would be safer for a black man to show up at a KKK rally wearing a rope necklace than it would for him to go to the gas station after dark for cigarettes in his own neighborhood. All white neighborhoods get along just fine and there is very little white on white violence in America except for jealous lover, ex spouse/cheating spouse type violence. At least 70% of black people that I observe day to day, are very confrontational and instigate violence very quickly.

An example of this is when I was living in GA in my apartment. It seemed every night my black neighbors would start playing hip hop music at unacceptable levels after 10pm. One night I decided to knock on the door and politely ask if they would mind turning down the music. As soon as the door opened, there was a young black male who was roughly 6'2" and maybe 230lbs that said, "what da fuck is you doin here? " So I asked if he would turn down the music a little. His response was" Man you better get yo bitch ass the fuck up outta here aight!!" He then slams the door in my face, and I can here his guests through the door trying to instigate by saying things like you shoulda beat dat M#####F#####'s ass. and fuck dat white ass bitch.

This is the reality of what is going on in America. Jewish people don't have this type of hatred for Germans today and they have all the right in the world to be upset. My question is this, If white people and slavery are the reasons why black people cant be successful,why cant blacks succeed as a whole in the other few dozen countries where whites have no influence and slavery didn't exist? If I fail at something, I blame only myself. Its the 21st century, if jews can move forward from the holocaust, then certainly black people can move forward from something that ended 151 years ago.


Right Black profile image

Right Black 4 years ago from Huntington Beach, California

Interesting hub. I've heard that God looks on the inside but man looks on the outside. You said your son wore dreadlocks, dreadlocks were designed to bring dread to those who saw the revolutionaries who wore them. If you don't want people to dread you get rid of the locks. This is just one of the answers but of course this doesn't answer the whole problem. The rest of the problem has to do with what God sees on the inside, some people are just messed up!


SOBF profile image

SOBF 4 years ago from New York, NY

Right Black did you just hit that brother with the hoodie card?

"You said your son wore dreadlocks, dreadlocks were designed to bring dread to those who saw the revolutionaries who wore them."

From biblical times to today dreadlocks have been worn as a sign of reverence to God. Funny how a black person turns even that which is holy into something negative.


Jack 4 years ago

This sounds made up. You should tell your son that some people are assholes and they won't like you because of your skin color. I'm white, and I was told this, and it turned out to be true. Everybody thinks I have a huge advantage in life, but yet I'm working at fucking Starbucks.

The world is a lot more evened out now. If you are a bright young man, regardless of ethnicity, your ass is going to get scooped up for a good position. If you act like an ass, then you'll be sitting on a stoop blaming my Starbucks-working-ass for all the shit you never had.

Look at people from India. They come here from one of the most awful places in the world and are able to prosper. They are less than 1% of the US pop, yet they are 30% of the US college grad pop. You and your son were born here and yet you bitch about your situation?


B-Dawg 4 years ago

I see black people being rude to white people 10 times more than vice versa and I live in a white majority area. I think the reason why blacks are more likely to be rude to a non-black is because they look at other races as weaker. If a black was rude to another black person they would get a run for their money trust me and I am half black myself. The best thing a white man can do is paint their skin black or hire a black male bodyguard. BLACK SKIN + PROTECTION for the white man. You willl not fear the black man if you have black skin.


Dave 4 years ago

I find it funny that you think it's white people's fault you're perceived as bad people.

You can blame your own race for that, ok? Maybe if most of your race wouldn't walk around sagging their shorts, wearing du-rags , shooting up and raping people we wouldn't have a problem with you.

Also, you haven't been enslaved for over 100 years. Seriously, get over it. You have freedoms now. Quit acting like whites owe you everything and take some fucking responsibility for your filthy race.


John 4 years ago

Get over yourself. And tell you kid to put on some deodorant, the problem is probably that he has some kickin' BO and they aint even thinking about the color of his skin.


Bob 4 years ago

Hey IDIOTS- Dreadlocks have no place on men in business, whether they are BLACK or WHITE. This is an appearance that is simply ridiculous and worthy of no respect whatsoever. Of course a black guy with dreadlocks over six feet tall is going to be avoided by most people- what are you thinking?! These dreadlocked idiots all need to grow up, cut that dogshit off, and stop blaming "racism" for not being able to get respect when it is due to their ridiculous appearance! Also for those whom this applies, pull your pants up and take that condom off your head!


Brad 4 years ago

Anyone who needs a good example of a black guy of the above who is a ridiculous fool who demands respect but deserves none should check out the website "Tafari's Mind Spill." This idiot uses his site to try to get people to see his ridiculous dreadlocked ass as being pretty when he is clearly not, beats up on people who "diss" him and raise other "racist" issues, while retaining only comments from idiot women fans who think he's so great when he's not.

fawn over


tonloc221966@yahoo.com 4 years ago

yo most of you cant growe long breds that's y you be saying bad things check the truth jesus is black whith breds and when i was on a love site all the girls loved me you just haten to bad


Veeger999 4 years ago

Don't you realize? Blacks of TODAY don't really WANT to "get over" slavery because they actually like their identity as the enslaved or "oppressed" race. Today's blacks enjoy and cherish the attention that it affords them as a race. They are also acustomed to it. It has been their identity for so long and the very thing that has made their race special and exceptional. It has also, you'll notice, had the effect of making any accomplishments of theirs, even their most meager ones, seem more signifigant ( "they had to overcome great oppression to do it" ) which accounts for such things as Black History Month ( for example ).


doowangle 4 years ago

What black people just don't understand is that they take situations that happen to EVERYBODY and then immediately attribute it to their race. You honestly think your son is the only one who has had a door slam in his face by a rude person? That has happened to me at least a half dozen times in my life. The only difference is, when it happens to me, I just think its an impolite person. When it happens to you, it simply MUST have something to do with your racial identity.

YOU are the racist for immediately assuming that just because the person is white, they must have racist motivations. YOU are stereotyping white people as inherently racist when you really have no clue what is driving their actions. Yet you guys can come on these comments and throw around accusations of ignorance upon others?

Sorry but when you look through the eyes of a hammer the entire world looks like nails. If black people could get over their racial insecurities, perhaps they would be able to see that racist attitudes have become increasingly rarer.


SOBF profile image

SOBF 4 years ago from New York, NY

What is it about people of other races who actually think they have a better understanding of blacks than blacks? Case and point, the ignorant comments regarding blacks and slavery. Why don't you just get over slavery? This has got to be the dumbest thing to dribble from the lips of any human being. First, we got of slavery a long-time ago. Second, we got over the lynchings, rapes, and persecution that followed slavery. Third, we've gotten over the murderous race riots we endured during the late 1800's through the early 1900's. Fourth, we have gotten over the brutal assault on blacks during the civil rights movement. Fifth, we have gotten over the assault on minority neighborhoods following the civil rights movement.

Can some white person out here please tell me why you keep asking us to get over slavery?


Gage 4 years ago

It's not just your son. I'm a Native American who gets discriminated and judged too. But, I do believe that we should forgive all people though, the Bible tells us to. However, don't ever forget the things that happen. Forgive, but don't forget. I mean, my people have almost been completely decimated. I'll forgive, as hard as it is, but I'll never forget.


devin shakur profile image

devin shakur 3 years ago from THE WORLD! Author

Just recently I've been thinking about post-traumatic stress disorder and the legacy of slavery. I truly believe that Blacks suffered a type of stress disorder during slavery that has been passed down through the generations. This is a very real possibilty. For many of us who do attend church, read the Bible, etc and for those of you who consider yourselves Christians, we are told to forgive but forgiving does not mean that you place yourself back into an unhealthy situation. Thank you all for your comments.


Sanxuary 3 years ago

Anyone who has faced discrimination is not going to forget and throw a few walls up. Still you have to keep your aim on those who caused your pain and not be a part of the problem. Anger association is another problem we face. This is when we take one issue or one problem and add anything else to it. The person does not like me because he is a racist. When actually he does not like you because your attitude sucks. Being kind to people always furthers your cause. One can not be a part of the problem and expect it to change. Still never hesitate to outshine your enemies when they are put in your hands but do it from solid ground.


kalel1938 3 years ago

my father taught me to not worry about anyone. their reactions are their own problem. Don't care about small slights or perceived indiscretions because it is the other person's problem.you would go crazy trying to fix others. My dad is black and had his own business as a contractor. he would often take us to work with him starting when i was about 5 years old. He never had any problems with race, he would network with all races and he got jobs in all areas of the city and suburbs even all white areas. he told me he experienced prejudice but always said that is their problem not his and NEVER LET IT STOP HIM.he would even shop in all white neighborhoods and when people would stare or the police would stop us he would tell us he wasn't worried because he wasn't doing anything wrong and they had the problem and he would laugh at their stupidity. if someone did something to him that was out of pocket he would tell them what they did wrong and ask for an apology but racism was never his first accusation. stand up for yourself but ignore the small slights and percieved wrongs put your rnergy into making yourself the best you can be. it doen't matter what people think of you because it is what you think of you that counts. the racists want you to have low esteem and feel bad. wear your dreadlocks if they don't like it it is their problem but be prepared for the negativity because racism comes out of them when they see anything that is not eurocentric as they regard these things as inferior or bad so be confident and expect it and then brush it off. just pick carefully what you repond to because you may be using too much energy and time trying to fix people or things that cannot be changed.


kalel1938 3 years ago

The anger comes from a feeling of being devalued and disrespected. respect yourself and others and the anger will subside.don't look for everyone to like you because there are many who won't no matter how well you treat them so move on with your life. don't blame others for your shortcomings because only you can move yourself forward and life is never easy and we all have to pay our dues before we get what we want.Don't expect anyone to cut you slack they won't so don't get mad if can't get your way. don't get mad if you get punished for breaking the rules because you are in charge of you and you knew the consequences. so grow up. don't seek to put others down to bolster your esteem...and mothers choose the fathers carefully and respect yourself ,,,don't make excuses for your children that is where this starts ...do these things and the anger will subside and we will have less violence in our communities


GENE WILLIS 3 years ago

so when blacks go head hunting for whites,we should just say that all right,you people had it rough being the only slaves in the entire world.and blacks look at white people with disgust and anger every day of the year.i myself have gotten looks from blacks but just ignored it.i didn't get hired because i didn't fit into affirmitive action.i lost jobs because whites had no one to fight for their rights like blacks do.blacks can be openly racist while whites are told to shut up and take a good fucing from minorities.but then there's one thing i will never be like all the minorities,i will never be a government or state bitch.for as a white person,i stand on my own marits.no one hands me anything,i earned it my self.no black can say that with honosty.


Mike 2 years ago

We are not complaining about slavery. We are complaining about how black men are treated and portrayed in society. Not all black men are gangsters and gangbanging. You white people treat us like we're some kind of aliens. you all are so afraid of black men. Its fear! Whenever I walk past a white person, they hold their bags so tight, especially white women.


lol 2 years ago

just watch ANY local news or pick up the ANY local newspaper....look at all the violent crime stories and take a tally of how many involve blacks and compare it to all other races combined.....yet blacks are a MINORITY.

you cant ignore the problems you guys have created for yourselves. the fact that so many of you guys rather have kids as teenagers instead of pursuing additional education and providing yourself with life skills is one of the biggest reasons for the disparity between blacks and other races. low class mexicans and white trailor trash are the only other groups of people who regularly have kids before turning 20 and this starts a viscous cycle....because your too immature and can't even provide a stable life for yourself as a young parent, the offspring stand ZERO chance and are basically "raised by wolves"....and the cycle continues.


Sharon Bennett profile image

Sharon Bennett 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida

I think it is really horrible the way your son has been treated. He sounds like a wonderful person.

However I do think that it goes both ways, meaning that, sometimes, black people are treated badly and so they are angry at white people, so then black people will treat white people badly, which upsets white people, so white people treat black people badly, and on and on.

The reason I said this is due to my own experiences. I recently had some black roommates and I lived in a mostly black neighborhood. I did this because I didn't think it would be a problem. Boy was I wrong. I was treated terribly, yelled at every week (for things my other black roommates also did but never got yelled at) and after a verbal fight, I was even threatened with being beaten up, and had some of my stuff ruined, etc. Sure we didn't get along, but a verbal fight is a verbal fight you don't take that to the next level and ruin their stuff or threaten to beat someone up over it.

The reason I know race comes into this was because after this fight, one of her friends asked me through my window (I was locking my door trying to get away from them) "Did you call her that because she's black?" (I had called her a name in the mist of our verbal fight because she was just yelling at me and I was trying to talk calmly to her and then I just lost it). I was so stunned by the question because I hadn't even considered that race may have been a factor in all of this.

Obviously they thought that race was a factor because I was white and getting into a verbal fight with a black girl, I must automatically be racist. Can't I disagree or dislike someone even if they are black, not based on their skin color but just based on how they treat me? Apparently not.

I was also later told by a black friend of my roommates that they treated me worse because I was white and not black. She specifically said to me that they would never treat a black girl the way they treated me. Her words, not mine.

After I moved out, I moved in some new roommates and I haven't had any problems since. After I moved I also read that story in the paper about a white truck driver in Detroit who accidentally hit a kid with his truck in a black neighborhood. When the truck driver went out to help the kid (who just got a broken leg) a mob of black people beat the truck driver up so badly he almost died. He went into the hospital.

I realized after all this that if there is ANY ambiguity at all about a white person's motives, many black people will ALWAYS assume it's somehow a racial or bigoted. For that reason, I feel like for my own safety I would prefer not to live with black people anymore, at least not unless I knew them really really well first. My previous roommates, unfortunately, made me feel more uncomfortable around black people than not. (I also had some other similar experiences with black kids that made me feel more uncomfortable around black people). I'm not talking about all black people, might I add. But after my experiences it has made it hard to remember not to generalize my several negative experiences to all black people.

There is another thing I want to add (that is not about race but is related). When I was in middle school, I was bullied a LOT, by everyone. People knew just my name and knew to bully me, but they never got to know me. So over several years, I developed an attitude of "if people are mean to me, I will be mean to them". I cannot tell you what a life changing moment it was to realize that, instead of returning meanness with meanness, I should return meanness with kindness. As soon as I started treating people kindly despite how they treated me (good or bad) I started to realize that I was actually misinterpreting many people's actions, and making unneeded enemies. Additionally, I was making everyone think I was really a mean person deep down. But when I started being nice despite how they treated me, even the mean ones eventually felt guilty and started treating me better.

The point I am trying to make is, by returning meanness with meanness, which is something I have noticed many (not all) black people do, it is only making it that much harder for white people to change too. It is only making it that much harder for people, no matter what their skin color, to be able to see a person for who they are and not what they look like.

I really hope the son of the mother who wrote this article has not lost his sense of manners and his kindness despite how people treat him. If I ever saw people treating him so badly like that, I'd be so tempted to go to that white person who dropped the door in his face and ask them what in the world they are doing. People like that make me mad. People have no reason to treat other people badly just based on how they look and I hope that someday, both white AND black people can stop being mean to each other so that we can start seeing skin color in the same way that we see hair or eye color. A part of someone, yes, but not a reason to treat someone badly.


Son Of Marley 18 months ago

Add Your Comment..Devin a'lot of what you said is on point and I agree that it's pent up anger and frustration anyone who can't see it is usually only looking from the outside and rarely ever actually go and experience what we do firsthand. This is coming from a formerly angry young black youth who has seen and heard too much of the bias racial bullshit that happens to plague our society. You know what's truly funny though a white friend of mine who has grown-up firsthand around mostly black people once said that he can see what black people have to go through on a daily basis and though he cannot feel it like we do it hurts him because as he said he doesn't understand that same anger frustration because he himself is white so things that he would do that any number of people of color not only blacks he would get less in trouble for yet if it was black people or people of color period we would suffer something much worse and it's crazy when he said that it really opened my eyes and helped me see things a little different because it was the first I had heard anyone outside of the black community say something like that up front and mean it.


realtalk247 profile image

realtalk247 17 months ago

So sad. Unfortunately he's just getting started with his experiences. All you can do is love him and make him aware of where this is coming from and it has nothing to do with him. I is for ignorant.

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